♪ Cancer Cover- Twenty One Pilots ♪

Hazel's POV

-I enter the place silently and look around. It's dark. Black. The colour of riddles and mysteries. Closing my eyes and biting my lower lip, I slowly count to ten in my heart and open my eyes again. Black? No wait...

I see. I see a spot of colour striving to survive in the darkness. The golden flame sways drunkenly and enlightens the night. Holding my breath, I walk towards it and just as I'm about to reach it, I notice another and then another, taking birth amidst all the mysteries. My eyes span the numerous candles burning around me slowly, their flames dancing in a drugged silence and just when I think of the silence, it is magically rippled by a lovely symphony as I hear a violin being played somewhere behind the curtains. It feels like something beautifully toxic is about to cross my paths.

It seems as if my thoughts are being resonated in the melody filling the air because just when I think of beautiful toxications, I see it. A gleam of silver. His eyes.

Oh what I could have given to look in those silver oceans once more...and here they are...crashing drunkenly across the edges of my sanity, drawing out the remnants of air left in my poor lungs.

My poor lungs that don't seem to hold enough air nowadays.

I can hear his drugged voice entering my disarrayed system..

"I wrote you those letters. It was me. It was always me."

And no matter how hard I try to respond back, I feel like I'm grounded and unable to move because I can't believe he's in front of me, his light hair gracing his forehead as candle light draws beautiful patterns across his way too perfect features.

Features I've memorised..but never touched.

Holding my breath in anticipation, I raise my fragile finger to caress his jaw line but the moment I touch it, it ripples, as if he is a shadow in a silent peaceful lake. Slowly, and very slowly, he fades away into thin air and takes away my silver along.

Panic builds in my chest as the flames around me mould into a great red flame that seems to get brighter and brighter. I bite my lip for his absence brings a gush of agony to my heart. I try to find solace in the melodies but just when I pay attention, they break down. From symphonies to little notes until they convert to a strange...

Beep. Beep. Beep.-

My head hurts. Groaning in pain, I open my eyes. Grey. The colour of confusions. Closing my eyes in agony, I let out a cry for help. In no time, hands are over me and I hear a lot of people fussing over my body that feels like it's no more. Strange voices fill my head as I drown into the abyss of unconsciousness.

A large lapse of wait gets over as I try to open my eyes once again. White. The colour of clarity.

White which is accompanied by a face. A face that I can recognise in a large crowd of people on a New York street.

The way too pale face of my mom.

"Hazel, my child...," I hear her broken voice as tears stream down her face. "You're okay." She whispers.

Faintly, a memory of crashing cars crosses my mind and I remember his voice resonating my name over and over...

"Roxen..," My voice comes out raspy and hollow. It doesn't sound like me at all.

Fall. A soft touch of winter plays in the light breeze of Fall. If we crane our neck and look up at the withering leaves with fading colours clinging on to the dry twigs for their lives, we notice this one dry leaf that's crumpled like an old paper lying in a dusbin, waiting to be wasted away..

Waiting to die.

We enclose it in our sight until it gives up on the struggle and being carried by the raspy breeze, sways down it's way to the ground before landing lightly on a wet pavement. Faded and forgotten.

In her tired eyes, I see Roxen Dale who resembles this dry leaf in the Fall. Faded...yet not forgotten.

"Where's he?" I insist but my voice rubs against my vocals and comes out raw and hoarse. It hurts my throat.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

A strange tone fills the silence and rings in my ears as I wait for her answer. Plastic tubes draw fascinating streets all over my body but I can hardly feel my limbs.

"He's here." She nods and bites her lower lip in attempt to hold back broken sobs and stubborn tears.

"Where?" I feel like a panic cord strangles me slowly to an uneasy breathlessness. My heartbeat starts picking up pace and I feel a strange sensation tingling all over my body.

"At the hospital." She holds my hand and rubs it softly in a failed attempt to soothe me.

"I want to see him." I try to get up but a strong rush of weakness washes all over my body and a tear escapes my right eye.

"Hold on. Don't get up. He'll be here soon." She backs me away by placing a hand on my shoulder and runs her fingers through my messed up hair.

"Mom." I hold my breath as I feel a strong feeling of emptiness get hold of my heart. "Now..," Another tear leaves the territory of my eyes, "...please." as I beg her.

"You need to rest, Haze. Soon, my child, soon." She nods her head weakly and I know I have a drowning sensation in the pits of my stomach as a bitter taste fills my mouth.

"Please..." I whisper as my pleading voice turns to shattered sobs.

"Okay..okay. Hush. Don't cry." She wipes off the astray tears painting my cheeks.

We're interrupted by someone's entry into the almost white room. I turn my head and spot a very handsome gentleman in his forties walking towards us. His features strikingly remind me of the boy I had given my heart to and I instantly realise, it's his dad. He looks drained and I wonder why.

Amidst this haze, it suddenly strikes me.

"Is he okay????" I jolt up from the bed as my eyes travel between the two drenched souls. The tubes covering my body fall down and I notice that they're no longer attached to my frame.

"Hazel, calm down." Mom frustrates beside me as the man runs a hand across his face with worry.

"Tell me please!! Where is he??" I feel like I'm shrieking for my voice echoes back to me.

"It won't hurt her to meet him. She looks..hyped." The man looks at my mom and speaks as if I'm not present between them.

"Hazel...," my mom turns to me.

"No. Call him. Now." I return her pleading gaze with an obstinate one. I feel bad inside but I can't help getting worried for Roxen.

"Honey, come with us." His dad holds out a hand to me and I frown slightly before taking it and stepping out of the bed. I feel dizzy and my head spins madly but I keep up a straight face because I need to see him.

He supports my weight and we step out into the sunlit corridor of the hospital that smells of narcotics. My mom follows behind us and I can hear her crying quietly. My weak frame worries her and I feel bad for passing her through this trial and not even apologising for it.

Dragging myself towards an unknown future, I wonder what he'll say when he'll see me. I know he's stubborn enough to stay outside but he'll see how stubborn I am today. Deep inside, I have a feeling that he is probably drowning in a guilt that he's the reason of my accident so he won't face me but I'll help him to evade all the guilt once I meet him. Shuffling further in the corridors, my mind keeps on weaving reasons for his avoidance and I barely notice the activities around me.

At the end of one of the corridors, we come across a guy in his twenties who sits on a wooden bench in front of the ICU and sings slowly. I stop midway as I listen to his sorrowful voice...

Turn away
If you could get me a drink
Of water 'cause my lips are chapped and faded
Call my aunt Marie
Help her gather all my things
And bury me in all my favorite colors
My sisters and my brothers
Still...

A lump of unshed tears forms in my throat which I find hard to swallow. My lips tremble as I imagine there'll be someone in this building for whom he's singing. I try to nudge Roxen's dad to move forward but he looks down at me and shakes his head. I hear my mom's heart breaking sobs which strengthen slowly and for unknown reasons, my heart drops into the pits of my stomach.

I will not kiss you
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you

I look up to meet his father's gaze and it's the first time in my life, I see a man cry. The guys's voice tainted with a hint of ancient sadness ripples the air around us as tears stream down his face too. My hands tremble and I nudge his dad once again but he pulls me back and points toward a glass window that looks inside the ICU.

Now turn away
'Cause I'm awful just to see
'Cause all my hair's abandoned all my body
Oh, my agony

Slowly, he lets go of me as I drag myself to the clear glass in confusion. Placing my hands against the transparent barrier, I peek inside and see...

Know that I will never marry
Baby, I'm just soggy from the chemo
But counting down the days to go
It just ain't living
And I just hope you know

He lies in a bed, all covered in tubes and white sheets. My breath refuses to aid my lungs as I see the beeping machines beside his head. A painful cry escapes my lips as I see his beautiful features, expressionless and still. He looks as if he's asleep. I cry because I see him with my eyes in this state but my mind still refuses to accept it because it was me who had the accident. Logic says I should be the one to be hurt but it seems like logic isn't working well anymore because apparently, our roles have been reversed.

That if you say (if you say)
Goodbye today (goodbye today)
I'd ask you to be true (cause I'd ask you to be true)

My legs tremble way too much and I fear I'll fall down. I'll fall down into a painful oblivision that'll make me register the reality..of us.

"Why?" I rest my forehead against the glass and cry out.

I feel strong trembling hands on my shoulders until the most dreadful words enter my ears.

"He suffers from atypical meningioma."

The guy keeps on singing painfully as I feel my vision blur too much.

'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you

.
.
.

Roxen Dale, the love of my life, was dying.

Author's Note

Atypical meningioma is a type of brain tumor. Yes. Roxen was suffering from brain tumor all that time. His grey eyes did hold a cruel secret. :'(

I won't say anything. It hurts. :'( I'm sorry. :(

Much Love xX
Hazel :(