I don't exactly know when it really started
but I can exactly tell when it started to feel normal.
Every day when I woke up and begged that today would be different.
It dragged me down when it happened again.
I was in a cave.
A dark, scary cave and nobody could help me out.
I was never really alone but it felt like I was.
Every day I thought to get back my life.
Every day I was jealous of my friends.
I was jealous of everyone.
After a few months I started accepting.
Because nobody could help me
And I felt useless anyways.
It was normal for me.
Nobody could really feel like I felt for a whole year.
The hardest year.
Yet a normal year.
I hate how normal it is now.
It became part of who I am.
It made me grow and the person I am now.
Someday I'll look back at this hard, yet normal year and think:
Yes that's what I needed to get my life together.
That's what brought me here where I am now.
I will say:
Thank you but it sucks!