What's wrong with me
I'm so fucking lonely
I pushed a certain person away
I warned them
I didn't want to hurt them
We use to talk everyday but now
Its maybe once a month
I told them I was scared
I was scared to push them away
I tried to warn them but I didn't do enough
They pulled me out of my loop of depression
I I had a relapse today
But I didn't cut
I grabbed a marker and drew on myself
It helped a lot
Instead of a blade in straight lines,
I used a marker and drew  a sun and moon on my right leg and a rose on my left leg and a weird thing on my hand

I'm just scared of loosing everyone
I loved them so much but
I pushed them away I just wish I could apologize in person and hug them
Today's rating 3/10
I ate a piece of pizza and ate a peach

I wish I could talk to them
They're my player 1
-kristyn 10:41 EDT