Hello spammers, voters and silent readers! :P it's Monday and what does that mean? It's Illusions-update day! So yipee! The amount of support this story is getting is just... overwhelming <3 Thank you so much lovelies! Just because I have to say this... keep some tissues ready, and read carefully :') Also Illusions is on #109 on Fanfiction! YAAAY! Can we get it to the top 100? :P On that note, silent readers, say hi to your writer :P Umm... Here goes!

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Manik

It was a very quiet drive from HyLyte, just like the one a couple of days prior. The clouds were gloomy, making it the perfect weather for a drive outside. Nandini seemed to be happy, as her hums sounded.

I didn't know what we were but for a change, it didn't really bother me. I knew this phase was dangerous for me, and that at the end I'd be stuck there, in those tangled memories, while she'd be somewhere enjoying with a rich man, far away from my baby and I.

My thoughts agitated me and I found myself shifting the gear roughly and slamming the accelerator pedal. She wondered if something was wrong. She refused to speak though, worried about how to explain the incidents that occurred earlier-her clinging to me-and to top it off, confrontations were not really our thing. It was another Manik-Nandini thing.

We reached a little tea stall near my house. We got off the car and people stared, especially at Nandini, because looking at her, nobody would think she bought food and things off the street. She was sophisticatedly dressed, in my opinion but surely, not what one would wear to a tea stall. I covered her up protectively while her hands clung to my arm, yet again.

A little part in me wanted to be gentle and loving towards her. After all, she was the only one I loved like crazy. At the same time, I was reminded of all the pain I underwent because of her abandoning me. I loathed her with all my heart. She ruined me. Why did I have to be in deeper mess than she was?

"Bhaiyya, do adrak wali chai!" (Brother, two cups of ginger tea!) I smiled at her and we had some small talk. "He makes the best tea in the street! Yeah!" Nandini smiled at me. The middle-aged man behind the counter asked about the baby and that was when, for the first time I'd thought about her in a while. Nandini was a little more freaked out than I was.

"Manik, Naina kahan hai? Suno, let's..." (Manik, where's Naina? Listen, let's...) Was it just motherly instincts or more?

"Navya ke saath hai, I'll call her and check." (She's with Navya, I'll call her and check.) I tapped Navya's number from my recent call history. I was relieved when she picked after the first ring.

She told me the baby was fast asleep and that the baby didn't seem to trouble her much because she wanted Daddy and Mommy to spend alone time together. That sentence made me glance at Nandini awkwardly and distance myself from her, to prevent her from eavesdropping. She hung up and I faced Nandini, who seemed worried again. "She's asleep and with Navya." She heaved a sigh, boggling my mind further. Why was she that concerned?

The vendor made two glasses of ginger tea and dabbed on a bit of honey. That was the specialty of his tea, and I loved tea. She headed towards the car and leaned against the car hood. I followed her as she took a sip. "Hai na? Hai na amazing?" (Right?) She nodded with a little spark in her eyes. I smirked to myself and felt a few drizzle drops fall on me. The clouds began to sprinkle rain. Nandini scurried to the car, opened the car door and almost got inside. She paused when she saw I hadn't moved an inch.

"Manik, come inside!" She squealed but I turned a deaf ear to it. It was like finally, all the storms in my soul had found solace and now, heaven decided to make the moment enjoyable. The drizzle was serene, so calming.

"This is so beautiful." I said, looking at the sky that sprinkled some more drops, with ferocity. Many people stood under the stall shed, with their arms around their partners. Nandini stared at them, for no other reason but grief. She walked back to me slowly. "Just like that, all the amazing things in the world are easy to grab. We just got to look out for it." I stated, smiling at the rain above.

She looked at me in admiration. It was now that she was realizing how much she didn't know about me. She was awestruck by my approach to things that was way different from hers-way simpler. She perhaps realized she'd been wrong all along when she made judgmental comments about my character.

She stood beside me, feeling the shower too. We'd been through hell and we were still making through so why shouldn't we enjoy the happiness we'd been permitted to enjoy? "Maybe I've found it." She murmured, locking her eyes on my figure.

I was engrossed in my tea. I heard her say something but I couldn't quite catch it. "What?"

"My beautiful thing." She said, gazing at me. I felt a tingle down my spine. Ahh... don't. Don't do this to me, please. Nandini, why? For the sensitive person I was, at least with her, I couldn't take that for long. Those little things meant more to me than she would ever know.

I caught her looking at those couples again and for some reason, to defend myself, I convinced myself that she just was saying all this just so we could get back together. Maybe she thought I was easy to grab? Eureka, because the Nandini I knew was just as quick to judge as I was. I watched her little frame with some detest. Could she really sweep me off my feet like that? So easily?

I placed my tea glass on the interior-most part on the hood of my car, relaxing myself. I leaned on the cold metal, making myself comfortable. "Ahem, so... what got you to actually come with me? You hate me; you can't stand me, right?"

As I said those words out aloud with much indifference, a memory of her screaming that to me flashed through my subconscious mind. She looked broken at my interrogation. If anyone was broken, shattered, it had to be me and not just that one day, since the day she left. She gaped, like I was a strange creature who'd dropped from space and messed her life up.

"Manik..." Her voice cracked and I smiled behind my glass, maybe to hide my pain. I look one big sip of my tea, finishing it while she was half-done. I took it from her anyways, because I couldn't handle the situation longer. Also, she didn't like tea. I needed to be in a sane zone- a non-Nandini zone-because that girl made me the worst version of myself. I was so guarded and inhumane around her, and I hated myself for that.

I paid for the tea and we got inside the car. Of course, we both were soaked and there was no way she could go to work like that and so I headed to her villa.

As I parked, the eerie familiarity killed me. The house was such a beautiful place, housing beautiful memories and some unpleasant, traumatic ones too. My body shook. Her frilled formal maroon blouse clung to her body as she stepped out. I couldn't stop gawking at her figure. What a sight! Somehow, she sensed my attention and turned around. "Tum jao, you don't have to wait." (You go, you don't have to wait.)

"Yeah... I know. I'll go." I drove slowly as she left, with a sad sigh.

***

Nandini

I stepped into my boring house, unbuttoning the top buttons of my shirt. We had such a nice evening until God knew what ruined it. Happiness doesn't really stick with me anyways. Why was I surprised?

For the first time, I'd made advancements without him acknowledging them. Men, at least the old Manik could never keep his hands off me but times change, don't they? Too bad for me I didn't realize how perfect Manik was for me when I had him.

The helpers offered to do some chores for me, but I dismissed them. I wasn't feeling good. I urged to puke. I felt a little sick. I put my hand over my mouth and rushed to the bathroom, throwing up! I'd puked everything I'd eaten all day. I felt emotional. I broke down. Above all, I felt something was not right with me. I made a mental note to revisit the doctor.

Manik was angry with me, the past me maybe but still, Nandini. Yet again, I was one of the causes for my own downfall. It was getting harder for me to survive every day when the only reason to keep me going was emotionally detaching from me. He was emotionally abandoning me, and it served me right for everything I'd done to him. Yet, I wished otherwise because I was hurting, and hurting bad.

How long would this punishment last for? Would I really make it through the trial, the trial of pain and suffering? I felt like Alaska Young, facing the labyrinth of suffering. Only her case, she actually gave up.

I was a fool for broken stories. Now, welcome to mine.

As a young girl, in fact a toddler, I was abandoned by both my parents who claimed to love me. They both were in love, until I came into their lives. When I did, they focused their attention on themselves as individuals, and never on me. The cause was obviously difference of opinion but I didn't learn that until a few years ago.

Dad thought women couldn't take up big roles or set up their own businesses but Mom believed otherwise. They split, for their well-being but what about me?

Mom co-founded Premiera and signed a deal with her friend, Mr. Khurana that I'd get to be the MD of the company after I turned 21-a legal, yet fully responsible and an independent adult-while Khurana's son would be the CEO because 'men needed a higher position', but then MD was better than nothing anyways. At least my mother cared a tad about my life. I'm just not sure why, because I held their surname?

Sure, caretakers were hired and I was raised to live a regal life, but that wasn't what I wanted. They looked after me but were burdens to me. As a child, when I saw other kids with their parents at their beck and call, it pained me deeply. I could not see how I was never enough for my parents. What harm did I do to them to not receive their attention?

As I grew older, as a teenager, the neglection seeped in; I headed into self-isolation because that way, nobody could affect me enough to break me. I could live without love, if I could do what I wanted and had what I wanted, power.

Proving Dad wrong became my purpose of living as a young adult. I was financially supported by all means and I took it a step further, using it lavishly as a punishment to them. Yet, somewhere between cutting people out of my life and establishing the pathway to my survival, I craved love too. I'd never been loved before and seeing everyone around me, having some stable emotional support in their life made me hate myself.

That craving for love got me heavily influenced by alcohol in college. I had no boyfriend all my life. I'd go on a couple of dates, become needy and attention-seeking and then be dumped for progressing too soon in a relationship. At one point, I'd given up. It was like love just wasn't meant for people like me.

It's unimaginable to anyone who hasn't experienced deprivation, to feel the desperation for love. People judge me for craving attention, but not a lot of them understand why. Perhaps if they all did, I'd not be the person I am today.

Anyone who seeks attention does so only because they lack it by some means. It's not built in somebody that they need people around them all the time, or need to be assured they're loved just to fulfill their ego, no. Attention-seekers are those who are deprived of attention by the people they expect it from and hence, turn out to be dull in character for no fault of their own.

They don't know how it feels to be abandoned. They don't know that neglection isn't a feeling, it's a disease. They don't know how it breeds in you until it consumes you, and as you battle it, over and over again you become numb to everything else. They don't know that disease can kill you slowly.

Then, Manik came into my life, tearing through that tough shell I'd built around me. It was like attraction at first sight. Attraction happens at first sight, right? I knew the moment I saw him, that he was sorted, in contrast to me. For the first time, someone was interested in me. I felt what it would be like to put someone else before myself. I enjoyed that feeling I was deprived of for all my life. Just listening to his words of optimism, his assurance, made my days.

At a phase, his love felt almost surreal, for a messed up bitch like me. I feared it was too good to be real because I'd never felt it before. I didn't deserve it. He was too good for me. I feared he'd leave me, just like my parents did, too. Fear does so many things to you. It can either make you, if you're courageous or break you, if you're vulnerable. He failed me too and that little downfall was a warning enough.

If I still stuck onto it, to him, I'd be submitting myself, my principles for a man, which was exactly what my father wanted. I was only proving my father right. That hit me strongly. I pulled away. I withdrew myself so quickly and aggressively. I threw our relationship away.

I knew that was no reason to let go of him but I couldn't help. I feared every possibility of my fall and that Manik could be one of those traps too. My childhood had changed me in such horrible ways. I wish I never was the person I became, and everyone who entered my life including myself was a reason for it.

I wiped my tears and pulled the curtains apart. I looked out through the huge 'princess' windows of my room, wishing he was still there, waiting for me. Through my blurred vision, I saw a figure pacing towards my front porch-then turning back and retreating-shaking his head in dismissal. He didn't leave. My lips curved into a small smile. Manik! I gripped the wedges of the window and watched that beautiful piece of perfection. How I wish I could make things okay, the way they used to be.

Tears brimmed along my waterline again. I shifted from the window to change my damp clothes before I caught a cold. Work. Focus on your work. I made a mental note to myself and sprung up.

I picked a semi-formal slip-on top along with some formal pants. I blow-dried my damp wavy hair, twisted the sides and pinned it behind. I wore my heels and stepped out of the house. He was standing against the car boot, on his phone, wearing a different shirt. Did he live inside his car? He had a daughter to look after; he must have a few things in his car too.

"Tum abhi tak gaye nahi?" (You didn't leave yet?) He first stood blankly until his eyes met mine. I instantly avoided contact that got him peering further. He slipped his phone into his pocket and stepped closer to me. I turned my head to the side uncomfortably.

"You aren't okay." He made a stern comment and paused. "Mr. Mehta actually..." For how long would he fool me around with that useless man's name? Okay, not useless but... His boss didn't care about me as much as Manik pretended he did; Manik had to stop using his name all the time.

"Manik, seriously?" I crossed my arms. He sighed. He was done faking.

"You're right. I shouldn't have stayed. Mujhe jaana hi chahiye tha!" He scolded himself and stomped his foot. I gathered some courage in me to face our situation.

"Manik... you really think you can move on from me?" I feared the answer to that question. He maintained a steady gaze and then looked at his watch, diverting the topic.

"Tsk. We've got to go before Naina wakes up." He jumped in, buckled himself and then bonked the horn to bring me back to my senses. Why couldn't he just, for once, give me an answer?

***

Manik

Nandini was in our office, sitting on my system and running the code. I leaned over her chair, observing what magic could happen if Nandini tried executing it. It crashed a couple of times, and then she gave up trying. She was more impatient than I was. She lifted her head to look up at me.

"You do have last week's backup right?" Her breath hit my face very subtly. Our faces were inches apart from each other. We lost ourselves around each other. She was just so beautiful. The soft curls of her hair that hung along the sides of her face accentuated her beauty. In my sanest mind, I would've withdrawn but who said I was ever sane around her?

"Yes, Ma'am. It's on the cloud." Someone answered for me. Nandini looked at him, smiled and I took that moment too, to straighten my senses. What the hell? She stood up, distancing herself from me. I shut my eyes closed in regret. Where was the control button on my system? I should've just stayed away. I was just embarrassed in public yet again.

Nobody seemed to pay much heed to our moment except me and of course, her. I'd had enough of my ego crushed, and enough of losing myself around her.

I cut things short. "We don't need your help. We can do it on our own. You may leave... Madam." The last word came out as compulsion. We had enough problems in our lives. I didn't want another one emerging because I didn't give my client due respect. Plus, I didn't want the other employees to question me.

She was vexed at my proposal for her to leave. If I showed I had ego, she needed to prove hers. "I'm your boss. You-" Her fingers snapped before me. I faked a smile to boost my indifference. Fake it until you make it!

"That's exactly why I'm asking you politely, Madam." She made her way out after glaring. We both behaved in extremes at all times. Maybe that was what made us, us.

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What did you people think about Nandini's story? I almost cried typing that down :') Did any of you cry? I didn't want to make the part too emotional so I added an extra bit to the end! I also tried to incorporate some lines from the prologue, if you recollect, which was kinda tricky :P Which segment of this chapter was your favorite?

Question: Can you forgive someone who abandoned you for whatever reason?

Thank you for all the votes and comments! The previous chapter crossed 200 votes, which is a big achievement for me in a long while! Keep the support going <3 All this love goes a long way, really it makes me want to write more and more for you all. Thank you :') I'll see you on Thursday babies!