First of all, thank you so much for bearing with me! The support has been ah-mey-zeeng! (That's how the natives here speak, yo!) This has been one of my best birthdays and my close friends know exactly why! :P Anyways, I'm back with an update filled with emotions of gratitude and pure love, from my heart I mean! I hope the previous one was HILARIOUS AS because dayum, I had fun writing that ;) 

Please shower some love and support to yourself for being a constant in my life. Cheers and... don't forget to drop down some spams! I'm reading them but I currently can't reply to everything because I wanna write during that time :P Two more to go, and then I'll get back to everyone I promise! Until then, can you continue spreading your love? It's contagious :3 Thanks again! Vote our comment karna mat bhoolna :P 

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Manik

If I gave in to what I wanted, and settled there, it would have given her the wrong idea. She was the one who rejected me, she was the one who didn't want me, she broke my heart and my self-respect wouldn't allow me to let that pass. I jerked my face back, opening my eyes.

I knew something happened at the restaurant when I wasn't in the picture. Navya gave away a hint, I just needed Nandini to come out with it. Another secret couldn't be tolerated. Why couldn't she be more vocal? Either she wanted me, or she didn't. There was no in between in this. Why was I always stuck in between?

The best way I could describe the pain of not being wanted, or never being enough, is by comparing it to betrayal. Cheating. When a person feels cheated on, for no reason he/she can put a finger on, the numbness they feel is this numbing pain. Giving so much of yourself to only be tossed out is destructive. Sometimes, even forgiving that person doesn't redeem them. Sometimes, we reject only to protect ourselves; sometimes, we protect only to be rejected. She was the former and I, the latter. Nandini was a mess; God had sent me to heal her, but who could heal me? Naina.

Naina was intensely watching the two of us, without making any noise. Maybe she didn't want to disturb her parents who were sharing a private moment together after so long. We were so dazed in the moment to realize what was happening around us. Surprisingly, Nandini looked no different.

Her eyes shot up at mine, which looked everywhere else but hers. There were a few logical queries about us running through my mind. Words once said couldn't be redeemed. So they rung through, over and over and over again. Charming face. Scarred for life. My lungs hurt in a way that made it hard for me to breathe. With my fidgety hands, I tugged on the silver car door handle beside my thigh, invading her.

If we were equals in our relationship, why did she expect me to give her a glimpse of my life when she had so many secrets I never knew about?

***

Nandini

Manik kissed me.

After so long, it felt good to feel his soft lips on me. He made me feel safe and secure, as always. Nothing could bother me with him around, except him. I'd waited so long for that gesture of his. His kisses were addicting. Any woman, one who desired an emotional bond too-obviously his body is to die for-could be smitten with one drugging kiss from him. That spontaneous one wasn't enough. I needed more.

Was it all meant to be? What if I didn't walk away? I wish I didn't walk away, not this time, not then either.

Manik was quiet for a long while. Was he regretting it? It's not like we had sex though, and he wasn't an orthodox woman-to worry about losing his virginity! Or did I make him so mad that he couldn't even speak? Maybe Vinod told him about my blunders. Well, if that bothered Manik, I can't help it. It wasn't my fault, he forced it out of me. I didn't intend to mention anything. Manik noticed the weird expressions that formed on my face while I was trying to fathom the possibilities. He let out an exasperated sigh, shifted a gear and rolled his eyes. I moved my lips to utter something, anything.

"Um..." He did what he thought would be best, turn on the radio. It was such a discreet gesture to say 'shut the hell up'. I huffed like a dying seal before throwing the hint that I was offended from earlier into the atmosphere. "Fine! Waise bhi you think you drive better than me, so just focus on that!" Resting my elbow on the base of the car window, I held my forehead by wrapping my fingers around it. What was I thinking when I married him? Actually, what was I thinking before that?

He derisively scoffed. "I don't think, it's a fact."

"Oh please, even Naina knows who can drive better between the two of us!" Our baby once again became the jury in our petty fights. Manik took it up as a substantial challenge upon himself. Men are like that, with their egos. Naina was predominantly looked after by him, and so he thought she'd take his side but I knew she wouldn't ditch her Mommy. He changed another gear and then halted the car at a signal, before he turned over his shoulder. I imitated Manik, which only raised his temper. Good going, Nandini!

"Naina, tum hi batao ab!" (Naina, you tell us now!) We looked at our child, and I hoped she'd support her Mommy. Come on baby, say Mommy's a better driver! Poor Naina was under tremendous pressure. To top it off, an infant too. Both her parents were at each other's necks and though she was supposed to be the mediator, things didn't work in her favor. Her next meal lied in the decision she made. Bewilderment hit her. She didn't even have her red hoop to distract her-it fell on one of the car mats. Her little tongue clicked against the upper curve of her mouth, and she hiccupped once as her whole body trembled once under the effect of the air conditioner. Aww...

I forgot about the argument with Manik. No, it was minor then. Everything was trivial when the baby was around. I was pummeled by her mere existence. Our daughter deserved everything in the world. I wanted to hold her, but I was too far away and circumstances didn't allow that. What the hell was I thinking when I agreed to sit in the passenger seat instead of the backseat with my baby daughter?

A little part of my heart tingled with joy. I was genuinely happy, by just looking at her. I touched the gearbox, where I felt Manik's knuckles, like old times.

His eyeballs sprung at our hands. He didn't expect an advance like that, especially after the increased number of arguments we'd been having on a regular basis lately. Even he knew our separation took a toll on both our characters. I became clingier and he became short-tempered and more easily triggered. Day after day, the misery only heightened with intensity. Yet, with matters regarding our baby, we relied on each other the most. My fingertips made their way underneath the curve between his index finger and thumb.

"Manik, we have a beautiful daughter."

He was deeply enraptured. Manik never failed to notice the side of me that lacked all sanity, the side of me that boundlessly showered love for her expecting nothing in return. Maybe that was what real love felt like-freedom. Just our baby's smile could make me let go of all grief engulfing me. I missed them both so much, no matter how much I denied it. Manik was the one who gave me a life, both literally and metaphorically-an adorable baby girl.

Another hand of mine raised to touch my heart. Feeling my heartbeat race, I tightened my hold on Manik's hand, still fixating my admiration for our baby. I felt like I was going to cry out of happiness, and I did. Manik took a deep breath, dreading what was to come. Imagine, I was an emotionally unstable woman, crying because she couldn't hold her baby who meant so much to her. It was that emotionally driven side of me that only he had access to and sometimes, made him blink twice just to make sure it was actually me.

Perhaps I was just made for him. He hated it when Naina or I cried in front of him but look at the irony-the two of us gave him every reason to worry with our wails. He gulped, still gazing at my beaming face, which was all dolled up to impress him. Yeah, I dress to impress; at least I stick to my man! Only now, it leaked off my face along with my teardrops. He probably wanted to provide me some emotional support, but he feared the consequences and the downfall of his self-esteem.

"Yeah, we... do."

***

Manik

"Oh! That's wonderful news!"

-

"Aryamann is impressed, that's an achievement!"

-

"Definitely! I'll be here."

I cut the call with a smile, shaking my baby in my arms in excitement. "Yaaay! Daddy's getting a reward!" The bubbling joy cheered her up too, and both of us let out high-pitched sounds. I was informed that as a token of appreciation, Premiera was going to surprise me with something. I ensured Naina had her belly filled, enough to enjoy the event with me. Anyone who knew Naina knew food and I were essentials in her life and for some reason, she prioritized food over me!

I was considering calling Navya too to share the news, but then she'd probably be busy on client calls. I also couldn't be disturbing her all the time during work hours! Instead, I typed out a text to her, expressing my excitement about the same. Should I tell Nandini too? She never tells me anything, why should I? In fact, after that night when I recklessly kissed her, I made a few pacts with myself to stay away. I cannot let her consume me. I want to be free, I want to let go. Making my decision, I put my baby girl in her stroller, which acted as a protective enclosure for her while I could attend to other things.

I started off by cleaning some of the mess on my desk. Loose sheets that belonged to the same stack were pinned together, extra scattered stationary was stocked in the pen stand and my program code files were arranged in their respective sections. I didn't have a lot of paperwork to do, but hardcopy evidences alleviated client meetings, especially when the client lacked prior knowledge. Also, it was an extra bit of justice I could do to my job. I gathered all the baby products from my desk and stashed them in Naina's cartoon animal printed baby bag.

All said and done, it was a dark blue shoulder bag with cartoons on it. It came along in Naina's baby shower and Nandini was hell bent on using that bag only. I made a mental note to save the bag until Naina was old enough to understand how girly that bag looked! She'd thank her Daddy then, for looking like a fool carrying that humongous bag.

About five minutes later, a group gathered at my cabin. Most of them were my peers, but some of them were my subordinates. I didn't think it was going to be such a big party. Naina was thrilled, and couldn't remain quiet in her stroller anymore so I had to lift her. Then entered the person I dreaded to see, Mr. Mehta. He walked in confidently, stood beside me and threw me an appreciative smile. I was beginning to rethink the reason for the celebration: what were his real intentions? He waited for the crowd that was growing by the second to settle down, which they did in a matter of seconds. Maybe Mr. Mehta was quite a controlling man.

"Mr. Malhotra has brought so much recognition to our company, I'd like you all to put your hands together..." Even before he completed his sentence, claps echoed in my tiny cabin. Naina, who sat in my arms comfortably, was all smiles seeing her Daddy deserve the pride and love he deserved. She did all she could on her part to compensate for Navya's absence at that moment by kicking and screeching. The introvert in me really didn't think I needed so much of an audience. For heaven's sake, I didn't know why I was the only one being appreciated when an entire team worked along with me day and night to accomplish what we'd accomplished.

"Thank you! Thanks!"

"I don't think we can thank you enough, Manik!" I just smiled at the compliments. Mr. Mehta signaled some men who brought something behind them. It was a tiny bulletin board, carried by two men, and four people from my team stood before it, covering the surprise. The applauses didn't stop. I was starting to feel uncomfortable. A few more people hurried behind the existing crowd.

"This is for you. On this board, I want everyone to drop in appreciative comments, anonymously if you wish. I want this board pinned right here, behind your desk where you can see it every day even when you feel low." If he wasn't Nandini's father, I'd actually be overwhelmed by the gesture and do a few more favors from my part to repay the kindness. However, after learning the truth, I realized there was more to him than I was aware of. Maybe what I was seeing was just one shade of him?

I studied his face curiously. How did I not have the slightest clue about the sins he committed? I was so delved in fighting my feelings for a broken relationship, that I didn't look beyond to see how many people were heartlessly harming other people. I knew how it felt to be shattered, and to be felt like a worthless person. He could sense me staring at him, resulting in unsteady shuffling of his legs. Was that appreciation just a way for him to apologize to me? Did he already know about Nandini and I?

"Here... Manik." The hushed tones gave away his infidelity. At least he was guilty! It brought me some peace to know he somewhat got what he deserved. It wasn't right of me to wish bad things for others, but I had my reasons. I still accepted the board with a fake smile, after handing my baby over to whoever was closest to me. Then, I stood posing at the cameras that flashed at the two of us. At that moment, in that flash of light and in that frame, I saw how similar our lives were.

Maybe if Naina wasn't in the picture, Nandini and I would've still been together, just like how he thought if Nandini wasn't in the picture, Nandini's parents would've been together. WOW!

He abandoned Nandini because he wanted revenge. To him, Nandini was his enemy. He wanted to hurt her. To me, Naina is my strength. I cannot abandon her. She couldn't be blamed for everything that went wrong between Nandini and me. After all, we chose to have her, how was it her fault that she came into existence? I will protect my little girl at all costs. Regardless of whether Nandini comes back to me or not, Naina will be a constant in my life.

I made a few more promises to myself, challenging myself to outshine that man. The board was then taken away to have the sticky notes pinned on it.

I was offered to cut a little red velvet cake iced with vanilla frosting that was arranged on such short notice. Assessing the particulars, my favorite kind of cake, there was something fishy. As I cut into it slowly, I couldn't disregard my assumptions. If he could hurt his own daughter, nobody could be safe around him. I wanted to protect everyone from the real him. I halted the knife midway through the cake.

"Thanks everyone! This is such a wonderful gesture... but I'm not sure if I should cut this cake..." I stretched the last word, shooting a conspicuous glance at him. His face tensed, and sweat beads formed along the contours of his forehead. I wasn't trying to threaten him, but that was how he felt. "...without you, Sir! You deserve full credit." I said, with a warm smile. He sighed and giggled in a strenuous manner. I was thumped on my back for messing with him. If only he knew it was completely intended.

We cut the cake together, as the audience clapped. Some wanted to click pictures with me to cherish the moment and opportunity-receiving free cake, and with all the photoshoots, Naina was not cautiously watched. Before I could realize, she was gone.

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Now the story is getting exciting! I think you guys are having a few weird ideas, drop them down below! I want to see what you think has happened! And and, this isn't Ekta Kapoor drama so don't get that wild :P 

Question of the chapter: Actually, let me know what you think! I wanna see aap log kya soch rahe ho! :P What do you think happened? Enter your reasons/justifications too ;)

There's so much more to reveal and a lot more to happen! I genuinely hope you enjoyed the budding tension and romance. If you've ever been in one-sided love, or are still in love with someone who isn't yours, you can relate to both of them, right? :') 

I am intentionally slowing the pace down because I want you all to feel the essence of the story, the lines along which I've built the storyline. How many of you agree that Manik's questions were valid and needed to be answered? I love how beautifully smitten he is, and she doesn't even know about it :') 

Stay tuned! I'll update soon, but please keep the support going? :3 It means so much. Every one of you means so much :')