The next few lines are  words from my heart, to yours hopefully. Firstly, I missed you all. There is nothing I can say to justify myself. It's over a month since I updated but in the last month, so much changed and happened. I wrote this update on June 3, but I'm sorry I couldn't publish earlier, due to other commitments. I'm away from home and family and I miss them; I'm operating on a timezone completely different from India, so it's probably morning for most of you. Several things have kept me hanging around and logging into Wattpad was close to impossible. The only thing that's kept me going is the immense support for this story. In return, I believe I've put the most hard-work into this update, let me know what you guys think? I'm so grateful to you all <3 

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Nandini

My therapist told me to voice every little emotion I feel as loudly as it feels in my head, so here goes. The soles of my feet were aching, making me deliberately taking one gradual, painful step at a time. My feet were wrapped in strappy black stilettoes, which were susceptible to snapping any moment soon. Every little trouble I faced was magnified into the biggest proportions lately, as Manik mentioned last night. That was one of the main reason why I wanted to be away from Manik, the only person who could bring out so many emotions in me. It is ironic that way; it was only him and Naina too-goes without saying- that I wanted with me but for some reason, I was walking away, as usual.

My life was full of ironies.

Of course, Manik's salary had to be one of my biggest concerns though I had a plentiful it and it did me no good. Nobody could understand why I was so inclined to being like everyone else, and neither could I. People preach of uniqueness and embracing it, but how often do they really appreciate themselves for standing out? I've known more people who've hated themselves for being different than people who loved themselves. Learning to love yourself is an art form in itself. I think many spend ages learning that art.

I wouldn't deny, I was one among that majority. How pathetic was I? In order to just fit in, I was impressing temporary people when the people I had in my life were irreplaceable. Isn't that ironic? The list could go on and on...

Through the corner of my eyes, I noticed the same stranger who'd indulged in a romantic moment earlier. I created an excuse to snoop into a stranger's personal business just to divert myself of self-pity and self-loath. Who knew I'd be more miserable after the peeking? He was so familiar but I couldn't point a finger on where I'd seen him. I crept closer to the golden, mandala styled divider behind which the answer to my curiosity lied; and then like a lightning bolt, everything seemed to click. The vague image in my head became distinct and correlated.

I should've taken a step away. I had no right to intervene in an employee's personal life. What we shared at work was strictly professional and under a different environment, I could've questioned what he was doing, but outside of work he was another human, with another life just like me. I couldn't boss around or demand details but it was too late for me to back off.

"Richard?"

He turned back with a swift flip. His chocolate brown hair glistened to a richer shade under the dim yellow lights. His square-jawed face turned pale. The first time I'd seen him, I was madly drunk and I told Aryamann I'd kiss that guy if Aryamann gave me 25k. Hey, don't judge, that's how we played our gambles two years ago!

I recollected the information Manik once told me about him. He was a young Australian man who was called over to Mumbai for a client visit, but then apparently he decided to stay here and work from India instead. Well, not everyone cares so much about money after all! A mental alarm buzzed for the second time. I should've backed out, but I didn't. I heard two deep, dragged breaths, and then Richard licked his lips nervously.

***

Manik

When Nandini exited, I somehow sensed there was something wrong. I knew her long enough to know how she behaved when something put her off. What did she want, a kiss? She could just ask! Yeah, right!

"Mamma, noooo." That was when I realized Navya's toddler was bothering her. He was fussing about eating the complimentary salad they served us and Navya was trying to cajole him into eating it. She told me once that she always tried to be strict with him. She never hit her child but she also vouched to not give in to his demands. She gave me a lot of parenting tips, rest assured: if anyone was to be my baby's godmother, it was Navya.

"If you eat this acchese, Mama will give you candy! Haan, gummy bear chahiye na Aaru ko, main laa dungi!" (If you eat this properly, Mama will give you candy! Yes, Aaru wants gummy bears right? I'll get it for him!) His face tilted eagerly, as if he was demanding a promise. A second later, he negotiated for two gummies and politely agreed to finish all the veggies on his plate. My smile said a lot about how I was admiring those tantrums. I could only imagine Naina growing up into a naughtier kid, because I couldn't be a strict parent. Ah, Naina's going to be a spoilt kid!

Navya, after tending to her son, looked out for her goddaughter, I told you. "Do you want me to hold her? You haven't eaten anything, Manik."

"That's alright. You take care of Aarav!" We both shared a chuckle at our significant knowledge about our little ones. Navya's husband watched, then munched on a piece of lettuce, gulped and then spoke.

"You do so much for your daughter. Nandini must be very lucky. I don't remember the last time I held him!"

"Issliye bol rahi hoon! Arranged marriages main yahi hota hai!"

I sniggered at their remarks. It surprised me how other men didn't actively take part in parenting. I was raised by my father alone and to me, the mother figure never existed for as long as I could remember. She wasn't bound to look after her baby. Just because men worked didn't give them the edge to escape responsibility. In fact, why would they even, when they have the most beautiful creatures in the planet? Why were women bound to raise their kids? Personally, I couldn't accept that notion. It was foreign to me.

"Lucky ka toh pata nahi... but mothers have done their part already." (I don't know about the lucky part... but mothers have done their part already.) There was a feeling of repentance in him, I could sense that but he didn't admit to it. Navya smiled, regarding my attempt to defend her. Politeness pays.

The waiter came in with our food, and baby Naina gawked at the plates. By the look on his face, after noticing the empty seat beside me, I could tell he was glad Nandini wasn't at the table anymore! It was funny how no matter where she went, Nandini always carried trouble along!

Naina began yelling at the top of her voice a couple of seconds later, pissing the waiter off! Seriously, high-profile restaurants are not my thing! With Nandini and Naina around, it's almost impossible to create a decent impression. I carried my infant, placing her head against my neck, patting her gently and hoping for Nandini to return sooner to assist me in handling her.

Think about the devil and the devil appears! I got a message from her.

*Mr. Mehta called for you. Urgent!* ~Nandini

Shit! I jolted up instantly. I couldn't help but stare at the phone and worry about another possible escalation. "I'm so sorry, I have an important call to attend to. Mr. Mehta ne call kiya tha." The last sentence was directed at Navya who would better understand my situation.

"Okay, go, go jaldi!"

Pulling my daughter's blanket off her stroller, I put it over her head and wrapped it around her cozy little body. I tried to dial his number while walking out of the restaurant, trying not to disturb the other customers, if I hadn't already!

***

Nandini

I peeked out of the washroom, like a child hiding to avoid being found. I was looked upon by a lady with hideous makeup who gave me the weird stare while I was at that. If she could judge, so could I! Don't try too hard bitch, you ain't getting laid tonight!

It was like Manik and I were playing Hide and Seek. Right after encountering Richard, there was no way I could walk back to that table and sit next to Manik. I couldn't think of a better excuse to get him out of that table apart from Mr. Mehta. It was obvious that in that process, I was probably throwing him into a deeper problem but Manik knew better about Sonali now. I just hoped that things would work in my favor and I didn't make a blunder like I always did.

Manik wasn't at the table anymore. The coast was clear. Adjusting my skirt and pushing my hair away from my face, I walked confidently to my table. From a distance, I could see a treat, nicely seasoned and seated over my corner of the table.

"My potatoes!" I cheered louder than I intended to, and a few eyes darted at me. What's with all the judging, people? Mind your own freaking plates of heaven! Navya and her husband smiled, but I couldn't tell if they were happy I was back or just smiling for the sake of it. I sat down with an innocent gleam in my face.

We'd been quiet for long and perhaps Navya's husband thought of initiating a conversation. "So Navya tells me you both had a love marriage; how did you and Manik meet?"

I was almost deaf to his questions. My attention remained on the potatoes that I could have as soon as I finished my salad. There was no hard and fast rule, but I was trying to keep myself fit and healthy! "Oh, yeah... we just met at a bar and hit it off." Shrugging it off like it didn't matter was the first hint for him to stop peering. Unfortunately, my words sounded wrong. I flicked my chin up just to confirm my suspicion. The look I received wasn't that approving.

"I mean... not that 'hit'. Like we didn't sleep together that night; that happened two weeks later but..." Even before I could finish, two jaws grazed the floor. One was Vinod's. Even I couldn't believe what I was divulging in, especially the way I said it. My head shook uncontrollably. "No, we just kissed."

Vinod's brows arched upwards, which I noticed after embarrassing the hell out of myself. Navya was pressing her lips together. She already knew our story and was quite impressed-that was what Manik told-with it. "Wow!" He blinked twice, and then shut up. Perhaps he was judging me.

Talk about uncomfortable conversation. "Yeah..."

"And then you got married in?"

"Oh umm... that was on the 11th of August last year... Yeah, because a little before that was when I knew I was pregnant so..." I didn't realize I was talking out aloud. Nandini, shut your freaking face! I couldn't blame myself about it totally. How was I supposed to know not everybody thought it was okay to discuss such things with a friend's family?

Navya's teeth shone, but not in the good way. It looked like she was embarrassed herself, with the information I gave away. I wanted to bury a hole beneath me, jump into it and cover myself with heavy rocks over my stupid brain. There was an awkward long pause. I want to go home.

"Maybe, I should just... stop talking." Cutlery clanked against my plate, as I poked into the raw tomato disc. Meeting people and maintaining a healthy, cordial conversation shouldn't be so hard!

"Pothetho!" A tiny finger pointed in front of my plate.

Everyone has a breaking point. That was mine. I frowned at that little child who was having the time of his life, getting everything he wanted. I just wanted one plate of potatoes and cheese, couldn't I have it in peace? Of course not, peace? Mmhmm, for Nandini? Oh no, what is that?

I really wished Manik was around. Regret was all over the place. If only I hadn't sent them both away... I'm not good with kids. I wanted to say no and grab the plate to myself, but that would be very mean. Especially after creating an impressive image for myself.

"Aaru, no gummies for you then." Navya tried to retreat his fingers but failed. His little palms pressed against the tablecloth and then began banging really loudly.

"Noooo I WANTH gummay!" Oh My God, stop yelling, for God's sake!

"Okay okay, you can take it!" I shoved the plate in front of him to shut him up. I wanted those potatoes but not as badly as I wanted him to quiet the hell down. There were frown lines all over Navya's face. At least, she had some sympathy for me. That 2 foot tall child happily invaded my beautiful plate. My heavenly potatoes... I watched intensely as he poked through one plump well-cooked piece with his plastic fork, slowly dipped it in the white mozzarella cheese sauce and then bit the fork and slid it away, allowing the garnished globule to land in his mouth. Oh, Satan's child! Satan's child!

"Thanks Nandini, you can have anything you like..." What I like is gone. I didn't really want anything else. That dinner was screwed up in every possible way, starting from Manik not dressing Naina in the yellow tutu frock I wanted, the waiter glaring at me, Naina ignoring me, Manik not paying me any heed, encountering Richard, uncomfortable conversation, some judgment, and then the one tiny ray of hope-my stolen potatoes! Nothing works the way I want it to!

My palms pressed into the couch I was seated on and I used the support as an aid to my short height. I peeked through the gap between Navya's and her husband's heads. Richard wasn't there anymore. Manik, you can come out now.

As if I had enough of trouble, Manik appeared. I couldn't be more thankful to the powers above, but too late my knight in shining armor, my potatoes are being relished by someone else now! "I think I have to take off. Mr. Mehta has some issue with the program and an escalation is happening."

Yaay! I'm going home!

Navya and Vinod were quite unhappy. Did they all really want to bond over dinner? My God, I couldn't sit there a moment longer.

"Oh no, should I come along?"

"Nahi, it's in my department, Navya. I'm so sorry, I really wish I could stay longer..." Okay now, Manik. Enough drama. Let's go, fast.

"Hey, come on Manik... we can meet up some other time too!"

"Yeah, we should, okay? We better do!"

I also stood up, adding my two cents. "Yeah... Tch... So sorry..."

"Ek second... Tum kahan jaa rahi ho?" (One second... where are you off to?) My face flushed into a deep shade of red. My gaping jaw tried to utter a few words. Manik's eyebrows raised questionably. It would be a bad idea to abandon his friends and run away, but I had had enough for the day... and night.

Think Nandini, think! "Uh... umm... Arre, Naina kya karegi escalation hote waqt?" (What will Naina do when the escalation's happening?) My hands flapped in the air, to gesture the authenticity of my excuse. After I was convinced myself, I smiled awkwardly and inhaled sharply. "Haina?" (Right?)

His eyes scanned me suspiciously, and then he pursed his lips, hiding his smirk. "Fine. You wait downstairs, I'll be there." I shook my head happily, and then after realizing, I pretended to be very sorry.

"We have to arrange for another meet-up soon." To tell the truth, Navya could sense I wasn't comfortable. I didn't want her thinking that. It could be true, but she was Manik's good friend. Nothing should sabotage their friendship, especially not me. That would also cause more friction in our personal lives. Navya, please don't hate me.

Carrying Naina on one cradled arm, I used the other to gather the car keys off Manik's hand. My fingers felt his, and I felt the need to hold on to them. All I am asking for is some affection. How hard is it? If only I had the guts to say it out aloud. Our baby, who had fallen asleep during Daddy's important call, nestled closer to my stomach and made herself comfortable.

"Jao. I'll come." (Go. I'll come.)

***

Manik

After Nandini made an exit, like it always happens in middle-class families, there was a heated argument about who'd pay the bill. In fact, it went over a minute long, and both Vinod and I were creating a scene at the cash counter of an elite restaurant. It was more like a never-ending debate. And then we wonder why we always have an audience! Towards the end, my height gave me the advantage. I comfortably paid the entire bill with a swipe of my credit card.

Sweet! Now comes the real problem.

I bid formal goodbyes and attempted to compensate with apologies for all the chaos I was sure Miss Nandini would've created. By the way she ran, I was certain. Navya was by my side while her husband shook hands with me, but a little off-mood. "Oi... Kuch hua kya?" She drew some air in dismissal, creating the 'tsk' sound. There was something wrong.

"Maaf karna mujhe, Navya." She shook her head quietly, as if she was guilty. I felt really terrible. Navya did so much for me, and was the closest to me at work. It would break my heart to know she was hurt because of people concerning me. To save me some pain, she touched my hand that was on her shoulder and smiled.

Ten minutes later, I exited the restaurant, furious myself. I tugged at my sleeve cuffs. I didn't remember the last time I walked that fast for anything. Rushing into the parking lot, I spotted the blinker of my car. Nandini was sitting in the driver's seat, flipping random switches and buttons, and not to mention, honking loudly to express her irritation on God knows what. What have I married myself into? People around watched her like she was a lunatic. I couldn't be more embarrassed.

I scurried fast, reached into the car through the open driver's window, pulled the car keys out and clenched my fists very tightly. I could feel my nails piercing into my palm, while I glared at her. Naina was fastened in her car seat behind, enjoying the show with her classic entertainment source-her plastic red hoop. I could worry about Naina later.

Nandini glared back at me, piercing me like a pin with those dilated pupils; with crossed arms and a furiously heaving chest. Shouldn't I be the one angry here? I tried to be shrill, and sharp. "What the hell is this, Nandini?"

"What the hell is what?" She huffed back with almost the same intensity. I could never understand that woman, but I knew anger wouldn't help get information out of her. Aggression. Anger. Nandini. Nandini. Nandini. Navya. Taking a deep breath, I leaned onto the window pane, breathing over her. "Is this how a civilized woman behaves?" Her gorgeous eyes rolled around and her manicured hands swat the air around, exasperatedly.

"Right! I'm looking out for you but lecture mujhe sunna padh raha hai!" (Right! I'm looking out for you but I have to listen to your lectures!) Drama!

"What? Looking out? Excuse me, what do you think I am, a baby? Main kya Naina hoon?" (Am I Naina?) My baby's eyes gleamed in surprise. It was unfortunate that she was being pulled in a fight she wasn't supposed to be involved in. Her tongue peeked out of her wet baby lips and then was quickly tucked back in, as she frowned. She was such a cutie! I almost regretted mentioning her name.

Nandini couldn't stand me pointing fingers at Naina for anything. She stepped up to defend her baby. "Naina also knows how to take care of herself." Naina smiled victoriously, tapping her red hoop against her car seat and dropping it because of all the enthusiasm. The only entertainment left for her then was her parents' bickering-good for her because there was always a bounty there!

"What'll happen, I'll get kidnapped? While eating? Oh my, that's so scary!" My exaggerated demeanor was getting on Nandini's nerves. She refused to comment or even react to whatever I said. Pulling Naina into our arguments dissed her. In the midst of our egos and petty fights, we forgot about the main point. Then again, Nandini and I were always irrational.

"Nandini... Why did you lie to me? That wasn't nice at all."

"Really? Did I ruin the moment of buddies bonding over dinner? I'm highly apologetic about that!"

My anger level was already at 90. Cheers to the woman sitting in front of me, it hiked to 120 in one moment, with one sarcastic sentence. Forcefully, I grabbed the curve of the driver seat's headrest, which was exposed because of her 'tall' figure. The tension between my jaws, as I grit my teeth together, caused discomfort. "Problem kya hai tumhari, haan?" (What is your problem, huh?)

She took a second to register the closeness between us and validate it, after which a thesis was announced. "Do you even realize that Navya and I planned that dinner to hang out with each other, but we didn't get to say a word to each other?"

"Really, then why did you insist on leaving? Kar sakti thi na baat?" (You could talk, right?) As expected, she had nothing to say about that. Her tantrums were getting overboard. I wanted to put an end to it. "I'll tell you why... because I didn't do this!" Instinctively, I leaned closer into the car. I nudged the tip my nose into her plump cheek. As if I was drugged, my head tilted upwards as I placed my lips on her soft cheeks. She was wonderstruck. It was a totally unexpected moment for the two of us. Her hands left the wheel, and her eyes flew wide open.

God, I missed her.

Though I was thinking of withdrawing instantaneously, the scent of her peach cream enticed me. I was suddenly filled with affection for her. That was when I realized it was the lack of attention from me that got her raging. In that way, she wasn't anything less than a baby, constantly demanding my attention. My eyes shut closed while my parted lips curved adequately in hopelessness. I held onto the car door over the open windowpane for some grip, to stop myself from falling again: falling in love with her.

I used the curve over my lips to imprint a gentle kiss over her cheek. Somehow, both of us genuinely smiled after that. I thought it was much needed. There was a recent instance when Nandini kissed me on my cheek when I learned about her father. I was hurt then, now she was. I thought she deserved the same care. To me, we were equals in our relationship, even if everyone around us thought I was more involved.

It was such a brief moment we shared. The tip of my nose remained fastened to her cheekbone. On any usual occasion, I'd tell her those three words. It seemed so nostalgic to me, that even after all those rough months, I acquired the same solace from her that I did a year ago. Circumstances changed; my feelings didn't. But Nandini and I weren't together. 

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I'm hoping you enjoyed it? I tried to add a few new elements to the old version. Was the wait worth? :P [not taking you for granted :( ]

Which was your favourite part? I loved the part where Nandini tried to explain herself but embarrassed the shit out of Navya's husband! LOL, that was the funniest to write too!

Thanks for all the votes and comments! You are valued, you are cared for. Don't ever let anyone hurt you and make you feel horrible, especially when you make people like me happy :') If there is anything you'd like to share with me, personal or story-related--even if you're disappointed, feel free to. I'm sorry, I have no excuses.