Hey people! I'm back! As promised, hehe! Just before I get into it, a small note I wanted to share. Most of you know I've been here for over about two years, with a significant and long gap in between. Through this period, I've grown so much as a person and as a writer, visibly :P You guys have been so supportive of my school work and been a very patient audience during tough times. My heart goes out to you all. Secondly, those active participants on all my stories, this is a tribute to you all for being such wonderful souls here. I love each and every one of you. I dedicate this story to you all! :') This is the longest note you'll see here! XD

Now to the story segment: a lot of you were excited for it, which warms my heart so here it is, the first chapter. They all will be long, okay? Hopefully, that's a good thing :P This story is a stand-alone, not a sequel or prequel to any other book of mine. Shower your love and support if you like this part. The media box has a surprise for you all! You weren't expecting that, were you? Haha! There are tons of surprises in this piece of work. I hope it intrigues you. The purpose of the story is to impact you all with unspoken words, so watch out for content 'between the lines'. Buckle up!

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Manik

I looked at my design one more time as I stretched my arms out with a sigh and a little yawn. I turned over in my cabin chair to find my little one fast asleep in her stroller. Inadvertently, a smile spread across my face as my eyes captured that beautiful little face. I didn't feel tired any longer. Losing sleep for that angel was the least I could do. I placed a soft kiss over her forehead, without waking her up. If it weren't for her, I wouldn't have made it this far.

"So Mr. Malhotra, your angel's distracting you, ain't she?" Instantly, I knew who it was. She sat right beside my baby, running her thumb over my baby's head.

"Haha... you know how it is, right Navya?" We both shared a soft chuckle and got back to admiring my daughter.

"Listen, you must be tired, I'll get you some tea?" I shook my head, smitten by the soft little breaths emanating from the baby.

"I have made a few promises, and the first amongst them is feeding her before me." She sent me a soft, sympathetic smile.

"Isn't it hard, Manik? Why do you want to do this alone?"

"I can be a responsible father for my daughter, no matter what I'm going through." I sounded stern, probably even rude, but I had made up my mind and was entirely dedicated to doing my duty right. It was the only principle I'd held onto from the time of her birth. I walked over to the water station with a bottle, to fill some hot water. I mixed some formula, shook the bottle and then tested some on my wrist. I balanced the temperature with a little cold water and tapped her to wake her up. She welcomed me with a loud wail and my heart sunk as I held her close to me, trying to soothe her. Navya saw me struggling and jumped to my aid.

"I'll handle her." She held her arms out to me, flapping them for my daughter. "Trust me; I have a 4 year old son!" She chuckled and I smiled as I handed her over. Navya cradled her in her arms, making cute sounds. After a brief chirpy rhyme, my baby gawked at her with soggy eyes, fisting Navya's kurti in her little hands. Women really knew their ways with babies. I felt a clench in my heart, maybe I could never deal with my daughter and raise her alone and maybe she'd grow up to hate me, for raising her alone. "Manik, by the way, I totally forgot! I won't blame you though; this angel has the power to do just that..." She chattered and I just smiled.

Navya and I were poles apart. I hardly spoke outside of work and that woman came to work just to talk and engage in gossip with her colleagues, okay I'm kidding. "I came here to tell you that you have a new project in hand. Mr. Mehta wants you in his cabin as soon as possible." I was broken from my chain of worries with her statement. I was going to scold her for not pitching in earlier but then, that could be dealt with later. I nodded absent-mindedly and hurried, after ensuring my baby was alright.

I sped across the aisle, bumping into two other people on the way. Particularly, Mr. Mehta was a punctual man and he didn't like it when his sub-ordinates didn't value time. Maybe I was an exception, for he always admired me for my work. I barged into his cabin unintentionally and immediately regretted it. I threw in a few apologies blindly as my focus shifted elsewhere.

"You're just on time, Manik. I hope you remember Ms. Murthy, we worked on their project last year or the year before I believe... and they were quite impressed with our work. They've agreed to partner with us again and you will be her assistant in this project, if that's alright with you?" It came as a shock to me and I blinked at him. I didn't expect it, a client assistant? I was a college dropout, and a potential graphic designer at HyLyte Web Services. I wasn't even qualified enough to take it up. I wanted to decline but I felt a pair of eyes watch me closely.

Until then if I doubted myself, I dismissed it. I had to prove my point and make myself stand out from the rest of the crowd. If another ordinary worker was given that job, they might've withdrawn from it. Maybe this could be a challenge for you? I took a moment to gather myself together and inhaling deeply, I spoke in one breath.

"It means a lot to me that you've chosen me, Sir. I'll try my best to do my duties right." I said, directing a welcoming smile to my new counterpart. She forwarded her hand for a handshake, which I gave into, with slight ease. Professional. Her watch beeped and my mind quickly diverted to my daughter. I was away for quite some time already. I didn't want her to bother Navya.

"Thank you Mr. Mehta, it will be a pleasure to be associated with your staff." She gave him a formal handshake and I held out the cabin door for her, as she exited. Mr. Mehta asked me to wait and quickly appointed some duties for me to do, that I assured I'd get done with by the upcoming weekend. I rushed to the floor my cabin was on, to find Navya taking my baby on a slow stroll across the office campus. She was still sipping milk from her bottle, quietly and seemingly happily. I thanked Navya and she left, after kissing my baby. I held my baby close and talked to her as she gave me a warm, toothless smile. I felt my heart flutter at the feeling of receiving a warm response from her. Her doctor did tell she was old enough to start smiling but every time she did, my heart would skip a beat. I turned around excitedly, bumping into someone. 

"Ma... Mr. Malhotra, it's nice to see you again." Her attention quickly shifted to the baby in my arms. "So, this is your daughter!" She stroked my baby's cheek and her eyes flickered. Was she fond of babies? "She looks so much like you..." I smiled a small smile at her and then at my baby, who gaped at her. I learned that my baby did that to everyone she wasn't around much, all out of curiosity. "How old?"

"14 weeks." I noticed everybody's eyes on us. My daughter was distracting them all with that happy face of hers. Focus, young man! "Ma'am, I can show you around, if you insist." I scurried without her approval, with my baby in my arms, showing my new counterpart the headquarters. I showed her the meeting rooms she could be called into and the services she could avail while she was at our office.

"Honestly, I didn't expect you'd be here again." She said, cutting me off. I blatantly stared at her, not aware of what to say. She looked a lot different than the last time I'd seen her, not to mention so much changed since then. I helped my daughter burp and then swayed her while the boss looked around and then at me, confused.

"Madam, do you wish to be dropped back?"

"I don't want to trouble you but..." I shook my head, assuring it was okay. I called for the office cab. She was about to get in, when she turned around. She quickly brushed the baby's head after which she hopped into the cab. I headed back into the office, holding myself together as my baby wailed again to sleep. I was exhausted from all the running. I heaved a huge sigh and headed back up, patting her to sleep and singing for her softly.

It wasn't surprising for anyone that I was bringing my child to work but what did surprise them was how I managed to take care of someone, as small as she was, all by myself. Certainly, sometimes I missed her mother, a lot more than I said I did, but there wasn't anything I could do about it. Destiny had other plans.

I spotted Cabir, another friend of mine, carrying a few files and running around, momentarily distracting me from the grief. Coming to think of it, everyone was dealing with battles of their own. Even Mr. Mehta was a single parent. Behind heartbreaks and losses are lessons and charms of success hidden. Maybe the loss was for the better, and I had to get immune to it and focus on the life that stood before me. In the right mindset, my new project would be my dream project but at that moment, I needed a break. I needed to figure out how to delegate my incomplete tasks to my team or anyone responsible enough to take it up. Above all, I needed time to think and react properly, and not to mess things up. There was going to be so much at stake.

***

"Aashika, could you just hand this pen-drive over to Richard? Tell him this is the last stack to review. Thank you tons." I waved her a goodbye as I adjusted my bag strap over my shoulder. I carried my bundle of joy and placed a fleece baby blanket over her, to protect her from the cold. Sure, Mumbai was never really cold in any season but I couldn't take a chance.

For almost two entire weeks, my schedule remained the same. I'd bring my daughter to work with me, put her to sleep, work on my designs, feed her, eat if I could, put her to sleep again, and the cycle would just go on and on. Especially until she reached the 3 month check-point, she slept for most of the day, making my work slightly easier. Her cries did seem excruciating at one of those phases, but then I realized it was normal for such peaks. The routine was tedious certainly, but it was worse when I was working from home, given I had no help there. The rigorous routine made life a little systematic and paying the bills was taken care of, with sufficient left. Overall, I enjoyed taking care of her and the rewards I received were highly personal, nothing that I could compensate it with.

Sometimes, as a father, I'd look at other children rejoicing and wonder if my daughter gets enough too. In no way was it ever her fault that she didn't have a woman idol in her life and I never wanted her to feel that way, the way I did. I did consider quitting work even to spend more time with her, but circumstances made it too hard to do that. Somewhere down, I felt my daughter didn't get what she deserved and it was only because of me. Those worries found their ways into my head every time my daughter fell asleep, leaving me alone in a world so foreign.

"Manik, we're formally commencing our project today and I'd love if you can join the party tonight." Mr. Mehta approached me as I was leaving the building. It was about 6:30 in the evening and I had to make dinner before it was Naina's bedtime. I seemed confused at the request, and began rethinking.

"Sir, my daughter..."

"See, I totally understand but this is a formal party and your presence will be appreciated." He smiled at the end. I was persuaded. As such, he was very understanding and he never rejected any of my suggestions for the company. He gave me so much liberty, instead. It was the least I could do for all his favors. I complied promptly and I could say, he seemed pleased.

I headed home, bathed my child, fed her and dressed the two of us for the event that evening. Though the event would include alcohol and a surrounding not appropriate for babies, there was no way I could leave her alone and so I decided to take her along. People at work were as such considerate enough to help me out when I did need it so I didn't have to worry about that. I bathed her, massaged her and dressed her in a baby pink dress with some soft hair ties she loved to wear on her wrists. I brushed her baby hair away from her face and kissed my angel in admiration. She deserved all the love in the world. She gaped at her wrists in awe and then smiled at me, emanating a high-pitched squeal.

"My baby has been a good girl today. She didn't cry a lot and finished her milk and slept without troubling Daddy. Will you be a good girl in the party?" It seemed ridiculous that I was talking to my baby as if she understood everything but then again, she was the only one by her Daddy's side during his hard times and how could it be that Daddy won't complain to her? She put her little fist into her mouth, trying to grab her own dress with another hand. I scooped her in my arms, hugging my baby securely but gently and placing her in the car-seat.

The party was at a hotel, and at the party I was welcomed by Cabir who wanted to carry my baby. She certainly became the center of attraction real soon and Navya offered to help guard her while I met Mr. Mehta. She literally was my savior all the time. With her, I knew I could trust my baby's security. I attended to my bosses quickly and they all tried convincing me for a drink, which I had to reject.

"Manik!" I found Mukti behind me and she jumped, hugging me tight. She genuinely seemed really happy to see me back, maybe. I gave her a warm smile and held her hand tight. She was one of those important people I'd met at Premiera Technologies. She was more like a sister to me. Premiera was our partner company and we did an establishment project together the year before after which I gathered some experience from working there. She went on and on about how everyone in the company missed my dedication and how they cite my example to their new employees but how could my daughter allow me to deprive her of attention? I retreated to my crying daughter, who was overwhelmed by the excessive audience she was forced to entertain.

"Does he do everything by himself? Where is his wife?"

"He's a single father. I don't know the rest. Probably, she didn't make it through the delivery. That's why he doesn't discuss her." I carried my baby in my arms and tried to calm her down which she instantly gave into. She grabbed her own dress in her little hand and yanked it around slowly, trying to occupy herself. Overall, she did her best to trouble me less, maybe because she knew I always gave her all my attention or maybe she could empathize with her Daddy. I excused myself to put her to sleep and headed into a room on the other end, which seemed quiet and devoid of noise.

"Naina, you know you are a blessed baby, don't you? You deserve all the happiness in the world. I don't like to see you cry. My heart shatters when you do, but then again, that's the only way you can talk to Daddy, right baby?" I murmured irrelevant things but softly while cupping her head. She loved hearing my voice. Over the days, I figured that the only way I could get her to listen to me when she cries is to start cooing at a higher pitch than hers and then slowly mellow it down to silence. I'd pat her to sleep after filling her stomach with food and sometimes she'd cry until she was comfortable enough to sleep. She resembled her mother a lot, even for the troubles and sometimes, that made it harder for me to forget her.

I heard the door storm open and I quickly defended my baby, not wanting to wake her up. She stood at the door, her eyes fixed at my arms. She confined us in the room, closing the door behind her and pushing the lock. "Tum yahan ho..." (So you're here...) She slurred as she paced towards me. She was drunk. I was a bit worried. I stood close to her, just in case and she held onto my shoulder, placing her cheek on it.

"Dekho, maa beti dono ek-ek kandhe pe chipke hue hai." (Look, both mother and daughter are on either shoulder.) She let out a chuckle and I stood frozen. Wasn't she the same woman who left me a few months prior? I felt my walls collapse. She always did this to me, with her I was always vulnerable, no matter how strong I wanted to feel. "Maanik..." She breathed over my face and stumbled on her own feet. In reflex, I held onto her waist, gripping my baby too.

"You're drunk. Stand still. I'll be back." I directed her to the bed-post but she protested. I clutched her arm and made her stand there, while she clung after a nod. I laid my baby on the bed vigilantly, while looking at the mess in my life, who swayed back and forth with her eyes half-closed, grinning to herself. I wrapped my daughter in the blanket, binding her securely as I had to be away from her for a while. I surrounded her with a few of those cushions just in case and kissed her goodnight. I paced towards Nandini, who sensed my presence and immediately clung onto me again. Even in her subconscious sense, she could recognize me. "Tum yahan kyoon aayi ho?" (Why did you come here?)

"Main... Tumse milne..." (I... came to see you...) She flashed her teeth at me and I was losing it. I was becoming the Manik I was a few months back, the weaker, vulnerable Manik and I didn't want that. Time made me strong enough to handle her absence.

"Ho gaya? Ab jao, meri beti uth jaayegi." (Are you done? Now go, my daughter will wake up.) I spat at her and pointed to the door. She just clicked her lips in dismissal, like she usually did with me. Her arms rose in the air for no particular purpose, which she hit against my chest in irritation.

"Voh meri bhi beti hai." (She's my daughter too.) I pulled her in my arms, grasping her firmly. She clearly wasn't in her senses and I didn't want her to say something she didn't mean, only to leave us in the end. There was only so much of her presence that I could face bravely.

"Nandini..." She looked at my hands and then at me, blinking with wide-eyes. She knew well, how to use her features to her advantage, especially when it came to me. It had been months since I'd touched her or even said her name. I freaking missed her so much. If I gave in to what my heart said, I'd lose everything I'd built in these months. I closed my eyes, heaved a huge sigh and let go of her. "Don't create a scene. Koi aa jaayega. Go." (Don't create a scene. Somebody might come. Go.)

"Mujhe nahi jaana." (I don't want to go.) She leaned into my body and smiled with her eyes closed. She was wearing a navy blue tube dress that clung to her body while the back of her dress seemed to look like a netted cape, grazing the floor. Physically, she'd gained some weight and looked pale. After all, it was because of me that she'd been through that long, physically exhausting phase. I felt a little bad about it, and put my arm around her waist.

"History repeats itself. Yaad hai Manik, we met in a party like this?" (Do you remember Manik, we met in a party like this?) How could I possibly even forget? That one meeting brought me to her. "Maanik tumko pata hai, aaj na... today... you look so handsome, I'm not able to take my eyes off you." Her eyes brightened as she said that. I let go of her in a split-second. I looked at myself again, just to see what she was talking about. I wore a white linen shirt that was wet at the neck-bone with my baby's saliva, a formal black pant and a black blazer over it. Black and white were her favorite colors. A pang of pain struck me that I tried to hide away from her.

"Acchha. Issliye." (Oh. That's why.) I giggled sarcastically. Blame her for that, she made me do this to myself.

"Kya issliye? Maanik, tum jao... mujhe apni bacchhi ko dekhni hai." (What do you mean by that's why? Maanik, you go... I want to see my daughter.) She was pacing in her heels and I was scared she'd fall or hurt my baby subconsciously. Our, but again, she chose that. I dashed through to protect her but she'd already propped herself on the bed, beside my baby's head. Her fingers caressed my baby's cheek and Nandini smiled to herself.

"You know what, Manik? When I saw her today, my heart literally melted. How did I even think of leaving her?" She crawled next to the little one and kissed her on the forehead, exactly where she'd seen me kiss my daughter. If she'd continue doing things like those, I'd probably be hurt again. It took me so much effort to stop thinking about her. Her words hurt me though, and I didn't know how longer I could bear with them. She pained me so much, but in my life, I'd never look at another woman the way I did at Nandini.

"Nandini, you should go..." I bit my lip, trying to hold my feelings within. I hated that I was ruining the mother-baby moment, but I knew it wouldn't be a happy moment for long either.

"You take such good care of her. Mere toh..." (But mine...) She shot a smile at the baby, as she rested her head on the wall behind. I felt sympathetic again. She is who she is because of what she has been through. That sentence was what I kept telling myself over and over again, when I was seeing her. "You are going to raise a beautiful daughter, Manik; a daughter who knows a parent's love and a daughter who knows how to love." She said loud enough for me to hear, as she kissed Naina again. I closed my eyes as a painful tear escaped them.

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How was the beginning? I bet you guys already guessed who's baby it was! :P Nitara, Parth Samthaan's niece plays Naina, okay? Let me know in the comments box about what you think about this story. I thought it was a little different from the rest. Again, please don't judge too soon. Wait for their characters to unravel. I'm hoping to portray some bold and intensely developed characters through this story. It's going to be a challenge, but we'll do this together, yeah? Please your votes too, if you like it.

Question: Can you really hate someone you love or love someone you hate?

Please let me know your opinions below! Thanks! Have a happy week ahead. Oh and yeah, wait for Thursday! :P