"Guess what?"

"What?"

"Mommy's dead and that's not even the best part."

"Erika, shut up."

"Aw, don't cry, big brother. See, that's the best part. Daddy killed Mommy and now he's gonna kill you because you're on her side. "

"Leave me alone." - "So, you'll see Mommy again, don't be sad."

"No, if anything, he's gonna kill you. You're not even his legit daughter!"

"Daddy says I'm better so he's going to replace you with me."

"Erika, please, stop it."

"No, I'll never stop, not until you're with her. Not until you're dead."

ⒾⓁⓁⓊⓈⒾⓄⓃ

'Damon, please don't die.' Erika Felix thought for the trillionth time as she pressed her tiny, balled up body against the hard steel chair of the South Hampton Hospital. The facility smelled like salt, alcohol, cheap clothing, and death; a perfect combination to make up Erika's ultimate Hell. She used to think rock bottom was losing her father's favor, losing her status, and being locked up in the East Hampton Military Institute, but it was far worse than that.

Her rock bottom was sitting in the lobby of the ER, watching people half near dying being urgently wheeled into white-curtained rooms, waiting for someone to tell her she'd either gotten her life back or lost it.

That she'd either gotten another chance with her brother or lost him forever.

It was the first time Erika Felix - smart, cunning, and ruling with an iron, bedazzled Chanel fist Erika - couldn't even think straight. She couldn't think about her father. She couldn't think about her old regal life. All she could think about was Damon, the brother she used to hate with a passion, the brother she used to wish would drop dead just so she could have the smiles Matthew Felix shared with him.

A morbid thought crept into her chaotic mind. 'If he dies, he had a shitty life because of me.'

In over a week of torture, Erika had gone from hating him to realizing she was a fool and wishing she'd used all her time before to love him. As it turns out, Damon was all she had and instead of holding on to him for dear life, she'd actively tried to ruin his.

She couldn't even count how many times she'd sabotaged his existence; from snatching universities from his very hands to earnestly working to get him a jail sentence. She had been Damon Felix's personal devil, constantly turning all the smiles he could muster upside down and relishing in his frowns.

Yet through the entire kidnapping, Damon had been nothing but supportive and protective of her. Hell, he'd told her they were going to come home and set Matthew Felix straight!

He cared about her and as soon as she had come to her senses, he was shot.

Digging her ruined nails into the back of her chair, she bit her bottom lip so hard she drew blood, trying to mimic the way of threatening Shane had invented when they were in the gas station. As sick as it was, the first thing she did after getting the police off their interrogation antics was go to the bathroom, force the very little food she ate out of her body, and repeatedly stab at her open palm with a fork from the hospital kitchen - but eventually one of the nurses realized she was bleeding and cautiously bandaged her hand again.

Although Erika used to be calm, always calculating, always working meticulously on a plan, she didn't know how to cope. Not when she had nothing left. Not when she was completely and utterly alone.

She didn't even know this girl that sobbed quietly into her chair. Even the girl she'd been back at East Hampton Military Institute had been more recognizable than this.

This poor, weak, deserted girl was a stranger and she didn't know where the real Erika Felix was - unless this was the real Erika and she was finally getting to meet her.

If that was the case, the real Erika Felix was a pathetic bitch.

ⒾⓁⓁⓊⓈⒾⓄⓃ

"Hey, you know what I do when I'm scared, Erika?"

"..."

"Well, I like to find someone that makes me feel better."

"Like Damon?"

"Yes, like Damon. Or I pray if I'm alone."

"Pray?"

"Yeah, you can try it with me. Come on."

"Daddy says you're not allowed to pray anymore. If you pray, I'm gonna tell him and then you'll be in trouble." - "Erika, sweetie, don't be like that."

"So, are you sure you wanna pray, Glory?"

ⒾⓁⓁⓊⓈⒾⓄⓃ

Erika looked around the lobby. The ER was a depressive wreck straight out of Grey's Anatomy - minus the hot doctors and sexy hookups in the break room, or The Fray's 'How To Save A Life,' constantly playing every time someone's heart was pumped. The ER was full of people, people that couldn't even be categorized by how much money they had or what designer they were wearing because it really didn't matter. They were all going through the destruction of their worlds, cooped up in hard chairs waiting to see if whoever they were there for was going to live or die. Everyone wore ghoulish expressions or no expression at all, tears gushing from their eyes or eyes not even open to give their heartbreak a sight. Every now and then, another dying person would be rushed into one of the rooms, family and friends clinging to them until they reluctantly let go unless they wanted to be forced to. Meanwhile, angry parents and tearful drunk drivers would argue with doctors for hours on end, trying to get access to their loved one, trying to get some kind of comfort.

Unlike everyone else, Erika didn't have one, but she felt like a sham thinking about praying.

God wasn't exactly the first thing on anyone's minds in Beverly Hills. Rich kids had different Gods. They had money, which was their number one in the world and number one in their hearts and was always worshipped to no end. They had fast cars, gold champagne, and pretty people to please their aesthetic lifestyle. It was what luxury could give that was their Heavens - but the truth was, the Heaven of rich kids never felt eternal, nor even enough.

Matthew Felix always said they were far too rich to believe in God. His wife, Glory, on the other hand used to pray whenever Matthew was away for work and even sneak off to church services on Sundays. However, Erika put a stop to that by snitching the minute Matthew came home and had watched with satisfaction as she got what she deserved for going behind his back.

Though Erika had always suspected Glory never stopped praying, even until the end.

And now, realizing that she didn't have anyone to make her feel better, anyone to hold on to and cry until her nose was snotty and her eyes were blotchy and red, she thought about praying.

She, the antichrist herself, thought about wandering off to the hospital cathedral and praying. Not for herself but for Damon. She didn't deserve any mercy but Damon did. Damon was good. An asshole but much more purer than she was. He deserved to live. He deserved to live, at least.

Undoing herself, Erika slowly stood up, legs feeling sore from all the running she'd done to get Damon to his hospital bed, a faint heartbeat in her cut palm from either the lack of blood or the frenzy of it.

One of the police officers ordered to watch her quickly jumped up from her chair beside her and too broken to even speak, she made the prayer gesture with her hands and dragged herself away.

She didn't follow.

It wasn't hard to find the cathedral. There was a drove of people making a line down the white/blue hall leading to the light wooden double doors, both emblazoned with gold crosses. Just being in the cathedral felt foreign, like entering something you've never heard of or even seen on a map, like entering a place that wasn't on any map. The cathedral was broad and spacious, only wooden benches, an altar, and a large cross decorating the end of the rows filling the room. The walls were artwork of mosaic paintings of Jesus Christ and other tales from what Erika guessed was the bible bordering two, large windows shedding in what little light survived the forthwith rain that had come upon the Hamptons.

Erika breathed a sigh of relief when she figured out the drift. There weren't any priests and the large groups that loitered around the cathedral didn't seem to be the types to stick their nose anywhere.

She could have complete privacy to make a blubbering fool of herself in peace.

Uneasily sliding down into one of the benches at the very front, Erika awkwardly placed her clasped hands on her lap.

And then stood up and put her lips to her knuckles.

And then spun around, fell to her knees, and rested her hands on the bench.

She wasn't sure how to pray so she remembered how Glory looked, her mother-but-not-really-her-mother, and ended up with her butt on the bench again, hands in her lap.

'I pray for - ugh, no. Hi, Jesus, it's - that was disgusting. Dear, uh, God - I can't.'

Shaking her head vigorously, she tried again, trying to ward off the thoughts that told her she sounded like a complete and utter wannabe - and the even smaller voice that told her she was the last person that got to talk to anyone holy.

However, for once, the Queen was humbling herself.

'This is for Damon. Not me. I don't deserve anything,' She started, squeezing her eyes shut so hard she could feel tears burning as they tried to escape. ' But Damon deserves everything. Please, let him be okay. I promise I won't hurt him anymore. Just please don't take him from me. I'm sorry for everything. I confess, or whatever it is you're supposed to do. I'm sorry for being a bitch. I'm sorry for trying to sink the yacht. I'm sorry for being cruel to Paisely.

She swallowed hard, breath catching in her throat. ' I'm sorry for killing my mother. Please, just don't take it out on Damon. Don't let this be my punishment. Anything but this. You can kill me, you can put me in juvie, you can put me in Hell. Just don't kill Damon. That's not fair to him. Please.'

ⒾⓁⓁⓊⓈⒾⓄⓃ

"Hey, do you remember an Aunt Ruth?"

"There's not a Ruth in Daddy's family."

"No, I mean, Mom's family. I heard Mom saying we have an aunt and she really wants to see us but Dad won't let her."

"If Daddy doesn't want her to see us, its probably because she's a nasty gold digging peasant like Glory."

"Mom is not a gold digger."

ⒾⓁⓁⓊⓈⒾⓄⓃ

"Ms. Felix? Erika? Erika, wake up."

Erika woke up, expecting to be in her satin cashmere duvet that belonged to her king-sized bed that belonged to her beloved room that she hadn't seen in exactly a week - but unfortunately, she stirred on the hard, cold bench of the cathedral still bustling with anxious prayers. And it wasn't Damon or any of her friends shaking her harshly from her short-lived slumber.

It was a police officer, the officer who'd been forced to babysit her while she waited for the news of her brother's death. The woman was pretty in a tough-women-in-uniform kind of way with smooth, olive skin and a curvy figure that had even men in mourning ogling her. Gaunt, hollow circles adorned her brown eyes from the lack of sleep she was getting from such a demanding assignment. Her glistening name tag read, 'Officer Dickson.'

Erika looked out the windows of the cathedral to see it was nightfall, the light drizzle that had started when she arrived having turned into a pelt. How long had she been sleep? And how was she able to sleep on this hard ass bench anyway?

Shifting on her bruised side, Erika gazed up at the officer. "Yes?"

"Doctor Gilroy would like to speak to you. Follow me."

Disheveled, Erika numbly got up and followed Dickson out of the cathedral, keeping her eyes on the glossy, honey-colored floor so that she wouldn't have to see the tears pasted on the relentless faces of the prayerful.

'What is life anymore?'

When they made it back to the hospital lobby, the room was in uproar. A boy no younger than sixteen was on a stretcher, dark, almost black blood gushing from his head - no, gushing from everywhere. Doctors rushed around the room, trying to apparently revive him whilst desperately looking for a room to wheel him to all at once.

"Its' Spring Break so its been a bit rough with drunk driving as you can see," was all Dickson said as they passed, Erika noticing a bright gold Rolex watch on the dead boy's wrist.

He was like her.

Like Damon.

And he was dead.

Dr. Gilroy, who had barely even talked to Erika when Damon was first rushed in, stood near the front desk. He was an old man that had to at least be fifty, with balding salt-and-pepper hair and light, brown eyes that popped against his mahogany skin, always managing to look sheepish. Which only made Erika feel as if she were about to get bad news.

Erika bit her tattered bottom lip again.

"Erika Felix," He greeted firmly, outstretching a hand but quickly thinking against it and putting both behind his back. "How are you-"

"Is he okay?"

'Please, be alive. I prayed. I prayed to you for once in my evil life.'

"Do you have a parent with you? I called your brother's father and he says he won't be able to make it tonight but-"

"My brother's father? We have the same Dad." Erika snapped. She absolutely recoiled at the thought of her father but she still couldn't help the pint of jealousy that rose its ugly head. For seventeen years, her entire existence had been all about pleasing Matthew. She hated him now, or at least she was trying to. She was trying to get use to the idea that she didn't deserve to be ignored by her father all those years, that she didn't deserve to be thrown into a military school and left to rot.

Or abandoned when her life was on the line like a knockoff handbag no one wanted.

Dr. Gilroy cleared his throat, shuffling his feet. "Excuse me, let me rephrase that. Your brother's guardian has already been contacted. Your guardian, on the other hand, Ruth Lakemond, hasn't arrived and-"

"Lakemond? Lakemond is not my guardian!" Erika cried incredulously, the outrageous information sounding like something from the Twilight Zone. Lakemond had been one of her ruthless teachers at East Hampton Military Institute and although, Erika had her strange suspicions, Lakemond could not be her guardian.

She couldn't be.

Even if Erika had found her school documents that listed her as- "As far as who's responsible for you, that's who's listed."

"But that's not right," Erika protested, using the last ounce of energy she had left. "Matthew is my guardian. He's been taking care of me my whole life!"

"Well, from your records, there was a change in guardianship about two weeks ago." Dr. Gilroy explained, clearly tapping into Erika's dismay as he looked as if his guardianship had been changed right under his nose too.

Erika felt like the world was spinning beneath her feet. She felt as if the world had been turned on its axis, put into a blender and jumbled up until nothing made sense. Until nothing was fair. Until nothing was sane.

Dickson steadied her before she could fall, Erika not even aware that she had been on the verge of fainting.

"Maybe now isn't a good time." She said calmly over her head.

At that, Erika struggled out of her grip, one hand on the edge of the front desk to keep her upright. She wasn't sure why she felt so dizzy, so out of breath, so weak. But it didn't matter regardless. She just cared about Damon. All she cared about was Damon.

"Just tell me if my brother's okay." She managed, looking the doctor directly in the eye and trying to put on her signature glare, the one that demanded whatever she asked, the glare that made people fear her. However, whatever she did instead must have only made Gilroy pity her as he put a gentle hand on her shoulder that felt like a weight.

The doctors still working over the Rolex boy frantically hooked up an electric shocker, counting down to three before giving a go.

"Well, Damon is in critical condition. He's lost a lot of blood and needs a blood transfusion,  as well as a surgery. He's also suffering from head trauma from what appears to be numerous beatings which could result in many complications and that's even if he survives the gun shot wound. "

"So, basically, you're saying there's a chance he could die?" Erika asked, the sound of the rich kid from the car crash being electrically shocked from the middle of the lobby floor. She could only think of the boy as Damon, only Damon.

Dr. Gilroy shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "What I'm saying is, there's a fifty percent chance he'll die. So be prepared."

Erika felt what little strength still lingered inside wither away, just as the doctors stopped trying.

ⒾⓁⓁⓊⓈⒾⓄⓃ

"Don't worry about, Dad. I'll talk to him for you."

"No, don't do anything. Just go gloat in all your Damon-can-do-no-wrong glory."

"Look, I just want to help."

"You wanna help? How about you stop existing?"

"Fuck it, I'm done trying."

ⒾⓁⓁⓊⓈⒾⓄⓃ

"If you're calling, you already know who it is. Leave a message."

Sucking in a huge breath, Erika exhaled into the payphone outside the hospital, not caring that a line was forming behind her. "Damon, if you die, you're a disgrace. If you die, you're the scum on the bottom of my fucking Louis Vuitton. If you die, Jac is gonna find someone better than you and have you rolling in your pathetic grave.If you die, you're just as bad as our father. If you die, we're all gonna be left with Chris Edwards. If you die, I will hate you forever. If you die, I hope you see Glory and tell her I told her to go fuck herself in a puddle of shit. If you die, I'll die because you're the only one that matters. Even when I hated you, you're all that mattered. I'm bullying you right now. I'm bullying you into fucking living so live, Damon, or I'll make Daddy beat your corpse to a pulp."

She bit her lip until it bled, biting back the screams, biting back the insanity.

"Please, Damon, please live. I'm so sorry. If this is to get back at me for everything I've done, please forgive me. Please don't let your grudge against me take away your life. Don't be that dumb. I'm sorry, okay? Who do I have to say sorry to to make you live?"

Erika's call ended and she desperately looked for Dickson to get another set of quarters. She needed to call her former friends. Sure, they might not like her anymore but they cared about Damon. Everyone always cares about Damon.

However, she couldn't find Dickson and before she could call for her, the next girl in line had all but knocked her down, sobbing loudly as she dialed a number.

"Danny, I know you'll never answer this again but I love you..." she started.

Erika suddenly felt sick to her stomach and staggered up to her feet, running back into the hospital before she could become disgusted with how stupid she sounded.

ⒾⓁⓁⓊⓈⒾⓄⓃ

"I did it. Just like you asked, Daddy."

"You did what?"

" I thought you would be happy."

ⒾⓁⓁⓊⓈⒾⓄⓃ

Officer Dickson brought a mug of coffee to Erika when she sat back down, courtesy of the hospital cafeteria. However, as soon as the officer had went to the restroom, Erika dumped it in the trash. She couldn't afford to satisfy her body, not when her brother was about to be picked apart.

Instead she simply sat still, knees up to her chest, and focused her gaze on the girl she'd saw back at the payphone. She was awfully pretty, almost too pretty, with brown, chin-length curls and big cheeks that made her the spitting image of youth. Just from observing her, she had learned the girl wasn't from the Hamptons but visiting and had been the girlfriend of the boy that had died from the car crash; Danny.

She was alone too, coddling a mug of tea and rocking back and forth in her chair across from her.

It almost comforted Erika for a moment because the girl's situation was almost identical to hers. Danny had died and Damon was probably going to die too. And they were incredibly, tragically alone.

"Did you come from that penthouse party upstate?" The girl suddenly asked, startling Erika as she realized she was talking to her.

Erika could only shake her head.

The girl responded with a glum nod. "I lost my boyfriend to a car crash on the way there. And I'm probably going to lose my friends too. "

"Was he the driver?" Erika asked, finding herself speaking much softer than intended. There was something about the girl that reminded her of someone, someone with blonde hair and doe blue eyes.

The girl looked down at the floor. "I was the driver."

Erika felt a pang, a familiar pang. Perhaps they were in a much similar boat than she'd thought.

"If the rest of my friends die, I'm going to have three manslaughter charges in all," the girl continued somberly. "I'm gonna spend the rest of my life in prison and it still won't be enough."

'Well, I got away with it,' Erika wanted to say. 'And now I'm paying for it so it will be eventually.'

However, she didn't get to say anything else. A doctor had come out, calling the girl's name - 'Claire' - at that moment. When Claire walked over, a quiver in her step, she immediately burst into tears.

ⒾⓁⓁⓊⓈⒾⓄⓃ

"Do you miss Mom?"

"Yeah...all the time."

"Good."

ⒾⓁⓁⓊⓈⒾⓄⓃ

Erika didn't see Claire anymore . After her friends died, she was taken by the police to the station. Officer Dickson said she was probably going to be booked that very night. Erika felt numb again - and tired and hungry but she refused to help herself. Damon was in a hospital room being cut open and prodded and mutilated and she refused to help herself.

She deserved this.

She deserved the starving. She deserved the pain. She deserved even more. If Damon died, she'd not only killed his mother but she might as well have killed him too. She had ruined his life, in ways he had no idea. She was the villain of his story and tonight he was going to be the tragically fallen hero.

And what happened to the villain once they claimed their victory?

She didn't know but she hoped it hurt.

No, worse than hurt, she hoped it consumed her until there was nothing left but ashes and dust.

A long time ago, she would have reveled in the a day like this because this day would have marked a desire she had always longed for. To be the only child, to finally be Matthew's joy, his only joy. To finally be who made him proud. It was easier to have such a dream if Damon was out of the picture.

However, now he was on his way out and all she wanted was to follow him.

If he left, she'd be alone and rightfully so - but she still kept praying for another chance. In fact, she was praying so relentlessly in her mind that she felt tired of thinking, she was burning out like a sun coming to die. Glory had said if she wasn't praying, she was with someone who made it all better.

But there was no one in sight.

She used to be surrounded by people, people begging to love her. People like Damon, Paisely, and even the wannabes who all clambered at her feet, begging to be the one with the key to her cold heart. She used to hate it, only needing it to satisfy her ego whenever Matthew bruised it.

Now she wanted it, thirsted for it, begged, prayed.

'I miss Paisely. I miss Jac. I miss all those stupid bitches.'

"Well, you ran them off, Erika? What do you expect?"

She gasped, looking up to see none other than the deceased Glory herself sitting in the dark blue chair across from her. She was sitting in Claire's place as the girl once did, rocking back and forth, a mug of Green tea in her delicate hands. Glory still looked the same as she had the day Erika had tampered with her cocaine tablets; long, blonde hair flowing waves down her back, ocean blue eyes saturated with a gentle touch, and clad in a white, Calvin Klein slip dress, feet bare.

Erika didn't dare speak to her, however.

"Forgive yourself, Erika. You know I would forgive you if I were here." Glory said pointedly, voice so silky and lilting that it made Erika want to barf and cry all at once.

'You win. You get to have him back.' Erika thought bitterly.

Glory tilted her head to the side. "Why don't you want to speak? Scared someone will think you're crazy, scared I'll get my revenge? I'm already getting it right now. I'm getting my son back when you tried to take me away from him."

"I wasn't taking you away from him. I was taking you away from Daddy. You were getting in the way," Erika hissed back. "Besides, Dad asked me to do it."

"What goes around still comes back around."

"I hate you!"

"I love you, Erika, I always have."

"Liar!"

"Between us, there's only one deceiver."

"Well, you're the one dead."

"And you're the one who's about to lose your brother after it took you your whole damn life to realize he loves you. But that's okay, I'll get to have him back."

"You always steal people from me. You stole Dad and now you're stealing Damon!"

Glory got up then, almost dancing as she came towards her. Erika shrunk back into her seat, hands out, trying to stop her as she put her ghostly arms around her small frame. She struggled, kicked, thrashed but Glory's hold was tightly woven around her as she whispered softly in her ear, "You've gotten so small, Erika. You need to eat."

"Fuck you!"

"Shhh, Erika, it's Lakemond!"

"Get off of me, I hate you! I just wish you'd leave me alone! I'm sorry, okay?"

"Erika, it's Lakemond! Calm down!"

"Leave me alone! I said I was sorry!"

Erika kept thrashing, pounding into Glory's arms with all her might, trying to break free from her harsh grip - and suddenly, she finally let go, letting her fall to the slick lobby floor with a painful thud.

As soon as she was free, another pair of arms trapped her, suffocating her, taunting her. Erika started to scream.

"It's okay, Erika. I'm here." Paisely Mont Vernon said quietly, pulling her close until Erika was burying her head in her chest, sobs wreaking havoc on her weak body, threatening to tear her apart.

"It hurts, please make it stop!" She found herself begging, clawing at the sleeves of Paisely's floral duster. "Just please make it all go away, I can't do it anymore!"

"It's okay, Erika, I'm here. It's all better now." Paisely cooed, the two girls rocking back and forth in what had to be the most relieving of embraces Erika had ever experienced.

Paisely pulled apart slightly, only causing Erika to dig her nails into the fabric of her duster even more. However, she continued to pull away, cupping Erika's tear-stained face with her hands. She started to cry. "Erika, I'm sorry for getting you sent to that place. It's all my fault, I was just following Chris-"

"Just hold me," Erika managed, not caring that she had snot bubbles building up in her nose and she sounded like a mess.

And that was exactly what Paisely did, holding her until Erika couldn't cry anymore.

Until she couldn't see Glory.

Until she couldn't think of Damon.

Until she couldn't think of anything.

ⒾⓁⓁⓊⓈⒾⓄⓃ

"Wanna know a secret? You're gonna laugh."

"Are you actually offering to give me ammo this time?"

"Sometimes there are moments where I actually think, 'Fuck, I love my sister.' Crazy, right? Do what you want with that."

--------------------

A/N: Unedited because a girl is tired after staying up to 1:11 am to write this. BRB, GOTTA SLEEP!

x - Okay so I've gotta give God all the glory for this chapter because honestly, I don't really even know where this came from and its the first time I like my own writing which is ironic because I outright prayed for the strength to write another chapter on the same night I just posted the last and I cried while reading/editing because I was like "wtf, Chelsea this is nice?" So basically, God gave us all breath and then snatched us bald. God is the reason I updated twice in one night. God wrote this chapter. God is good, you guys.

*peaces out*

(this shit was so sad)