5 | But You Can Run

THE WORDS THAT Iris had heard were sharp and cutting - not really in the way that they were said, but rather in the weight that was hidden behind them. At first as she listened it was as if she couldn't understand what they meant, as if her mind didn't want to grasp what was being said. And as she listened more and the realisation dawned, it was as if her chest was being pierced with each further word that was spoken. She was confused mostly - confused about the fact that someone was taking about her with such damning callous. Cecelia was saying those words with such heavy malice, with such little consideration for tact or grace.

"She's ugly to be honest. I don't know what Joey sees in her."

"I'm sure it's a passing thing. He just pities her. I mean I do, so I don't blame him."

"Her dye job is so bad, she looks like a new toilet brush at best."

And when she had finished spilling her poison to her friends about Iris, she left the hallway. But Iris remained and remained in shock. Iris did not feel she deserved the foul words used to describe her, especially as she had never directly communicated with Cecelia in any way. She tried to forget what had been said with worthless benefits but an irritation grew in her, like a rash who had made her presence very well known, a rash she knew she wasn't allowed to scratch. Hate was an emotion that she felt rarely and couldn't handle well. So she tried and she tried but was unsuccessful. Almost blindly she fell into her subconscious. She could see Cecelia when she closed her eyes and she was surrounded in blue flames. Other familiar faces floated around her field of vision, most notably Joey. However Iris was surprised to see more than just Cecelia's boyfriend in her mind. The blue flames warmed to a fiery crimson with flicks of gold and brown and The Boy From The Nurse's Office came to view. He had yet to have a real name in her world. She was afraid that if he had one he would become closer to her, he would be able to influence her life like Joey had done.

She opened her eyes as wide as possible, reality stepping and pulling like a waltz around her. Anger whipped at the calm in her mind in small waves, pressure building in her psyche. The world was too blurry for her to distinguish so she crouched against the lockers nearby and shut her eyes tightly again. Her pants were very audible now so she tried to draw them back within her, her hand flying to her chest.

She had seen them together. Cecelia and the Boy From the Nurses Office. They were together in a way that Iris wish she hadn't seen, or could even imagine. All she could feel was guilt. How could she keep this information from Joey? How could she tell him? There seemed to be no way out of this conversation. Every time she closed her eyes she would see Cecelia in his arms, her eyelids lay gently closed and her lips parted slightly. She couldn't see his face but she knew it was him - his aura was unmistakable. Lowly mumbles left Cecelia's mouth, until a name was discernable.

"Vaughn."

Vaughn was his name. Iris tried to psychically shake the vision from her mind. She shook her head until it hurt before she stopped and gripped her skull between her fingers. A slow tear drop slid into her lap.

As she sat crying softly in the hallway, Vaughn watched on from the corner. He leaned in slightly and watched as she shook her head. He thought that she would stop soon but she looked like she was seriously hurting herself. With each painful turn of her face her tightly shut eyes loosened and her jaw slackened. She stopped abruptly and he felt himself lose tension. Although he'd been told to stay away from her, he couldn't let her knock herself out in the hallway. She regained her composure slowly and sat there until her breathing returned. But she didn't feel normal in any way. She wiped her eyes and stood up when she heard a distant set of sneakers tapping around the  opposite corner.

The stranger walked passed and Iris nodded a small polite smile as they passed. And after the stranger had left she too exited in the opposite direction. Vaughn had made himself scarce before Iris had turned the corner. She could feel him in the vicinity, the flames still flicked at the base of her vision, the heat falling to her chest.

The days following had blurred into each other and as if it were divine intervention, Iris didn't speak to Joey at school that day. She had been on a mission to tell him what she had discovered, without knowing how she would explain her discovery or produce a plan of further action. She didn't really know what would have occurred with the sudden hurricane of confidence that she had. Whether it would morph into the anger that she felt before or it would be doused as soon as she came close to him. Either way she had made it through the day without so much as a viewing of him, and this assuaged her temperament for a while.

However, when she arrived at the cafe and began her shift a bad feeling settled in her stomach. As she left the kitchen to start her round, she noticed Joey sitting at the same booth in which they had first met. He had no food in front of him and she could help but try to convince herself that he wasn't waiting for her. Iris' mind went straight to her ordeal at school a couple of days prior and automatically froze. He had not caught her gaze yet so she took a moment to compose herself before she began to approach him. As she moved closer she knew she had to tell him what she knew, but her resolve crumbled with each proceeding step. Her steps felt lighter and lighter until she was floating beside him and gripping onto his soft gaze.

"Iris."

"How did you know I was working today?"

Joey face faltered slightly but he regained just as quick. She hadn't meant to be so biting, and she nipped at her tongue in reprimand. The days she had spent away from had been irritating her, to point where she didn't know how to process their eventual meeting.

"I didn't. I just wanted another banana milkshake. I guess this is a coincidence." He smiled softly. A quick break in their eye contact allowed her to breath in deeply before she continued.

"How are you?" Iris whispered softly before cursing herself for being so weird around him. She had never been in a situation where everything she had said had mattered - but here she felt like it did. She had to fix up before her tongue fell off.

"I'm alright actually," he replied almost as softly as her. He watched her as she stood before him. She was swaying slightly, as if not firm on her feet and she looked generally uncomfortable. "Is your ankle still hurting? I know I haven't checked up on you in a while."

She looked down quickly to her feet and back up at him, confused for a moment before realisation filled her eyes. "No - it's better, thanks."

"Oh. Well I guess I don't have an excuse to ask you to sit with me anymore then."

Iris wanted to break her jaw smiling at this moment but in an effort to save face she kept her mouth closed and pressed her lips together softly. She slid into the opposite booth slowly, resting her arms on the table in front of her. Joey's smile matched her minds own though. His pearly teeth fit perfectly in his lifted smile, like it was constructed with the most infinite detail and planning. The way that Iris stared was surely embarrassing but she couldn't help herself.

As she stared she thought of how anybody would choose to hurt him - to crush the softness in his eyes. She thought of how lucky Cecelia was, how stupid she was and as the image of her resurfaced something else in Iris died a little. She couldn't possibly hurt him. He was too nice. She couldn't be the one to do it and steal the softness.

"I read Jane Eyre," Joey's eyes grew smaller as he studied her reaction. He know that he would read the book as soon as Iris had mentioned it, purely for the look that he saw on her face at that moment. Something in her widened eyes struck a chord with him that confirmed the necessity of those late nights. Objectively, he hadn't enjoyed the book: the historical romance genre in his opinion was littered with cliche and unrealistic drama. But he had wanted to tell her that he had done it, that he was interested in what she was. And the grin that seeped onto her face proved his efforts a success, until her eyes narrowed and her lips pressed together.

"Never."

"Seriously," he defended.

"What did you think?" She asked.

"I can tell why it's a classic," he answered vaguely.

Iris let out a breathy laugh, amused by the confusion on his face. "Really? I hated it."

"You did?" Joey felt lightly deceived, although he knew it was wrong of him to have assumed anything from the little information Iris gave him.

"I never said I enjoyed it."

"Well I know something you will enjoy. It's movie night at my place tonight. A couple of my friends are coming but I'm sure they won't mind if you join too." Joey insisted. He was already trying to convince her as he could see the slight twist in her face as soon as he had mentioned it.

"I don't know, Joey..." she began. A strong part of her wanted to accept his invitation but a stronger part had realised the proximity that was growing between herself and Joey. She like with Marston Springs was becoming way too comfortable with him. And while he wanted to push and push further he also knew that too much persistence would scare Iris away. So he let it go and they lapsed back into their usual small talk until another customer entered and Iris bid her adieu.

Iris was distracted while serving the young family that entered, so much so that when her glance returned to the front booth, all that was left was an empty sundae glass and a crisp bank note. She had felt bad that the last wave of conversation had he rejection looming broadly over it. She knew that despite their attempt they both couldn't forget what she had done. She was sure that he too peered at the growing impasse in the horizon of their relationship. And while they were trying to slo down they were running full speed towards it.

Iris left the café that evening in a vacillant mood. She walked home in internal silence, the layers of her mind spacing out and computing what to even think. She may have lost the closeness to her second closest Marston Springs friend and she did not know at that moment what to do about it. She was conflicted about an endeavour to rectify the situation - it would extend the comfort that she had enjoyed in town had before the incident. But maybe this had happened for a reason, she told herself. Maybe she and Joey were never meant to be friends. And with no resolution she entered the apartment building holding a tension in her stomach.

She had got closer to her door when she heard the rustling behind it. The sound was quick and messy, and a subtle fear shook in Iris' spine.

Her palm placed on the door handle she twisted it slowly and at the echo of the click the rustling stopped. Before she lost her chance she whipped the front door open and saw half a fave before the rest disappeared.

"Wait!" Iris screamed. The wind froze, there was silence and stasis until Iris broke it with her footstep into the room. The air shifted but she could tell he was still there.

"You're an illusion too?" Iris' voice was thin and fragile; she had hoped that she wouldn't scare him away, no matter how afraid she had been. She could sense his movements, his breathing was fairly quick but still so soft that anyone else would hardly have noticed.

"Are you alone?"

"Yes." The boy answered. Slowly the tips of his fingers came into view. They were pale but dirty and covered in crumbs. His full body began to reappear and it was then that Iris got a glance at the once half face. He was young, not even in high school, and he was thin and wiry. He didn't look healthy in any way shape or form and immediately Iris knew that he would not be leaving.

"What's your name?" she asked, her back restoring as she stood up straight and approached him slowly like a scared and wounded animal.

He didn't answer instantly and she felt the tension in the room spike before he rapidly dashed to his bag.

"No!"

Before she knew it he was invisible again.

"No!"

A hurricane of dust whipped around the room, wrappers, napkins, small objects and dust sending Iris into a confused state until it suddenly stopped.

She blinked and rubbed the dust from her face as it settled and she observed around her. She couldn't tell if he was still here, but it seemed she had a mission: to find the young boy.