─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
CHAPTER SIXTEEN:
you're not responsible for your fears, mei.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

       Once again, Mei found herself unable to sleep. She was sat in the same corner as the night before, her knees brought to her chest and her chin resting against them as she sat with her eyes shut. She figured it was almost like sleeping without actually allowing herself to. The darkness with her eyes closed wasn't nearly as terrifying as the darkness with her eyes opened—seeing the silhouettes of the players moving in their sleep or standing up to stretch was enough to startle her, so she kept them closed.

         She had made sure everyone had drifted off before she had gone to stoop. Gi-hun had insisted they should all move closer to each other for safety after the vote so all of their mattresses had been moved onto the door, except for the exception of Mei, Jun-her and Ha-rin's. The men had insisted that the women should get the bunks whilst they slept on the floor. Mei hasn't exactly complained, but she was concerned that Gi-hun was being a little paranoid—besides the likes of Do-yun, she didn't really think anyone else would have any reason to attack them. But Gi-hun had been adamant.

         When Mei had tried to sleep, dven with all of her team sleeping soundly beside her, she still couldn't bring herself to doze. When she'd tried, she'd just been reminded of the sound of gunshots and the blood that had stained the floor of the arenas they'd played in. Truthfully, her mind was in a constant turmoil and it only grew worse at night when she had nothing to keep herself busy with.

         "You seem to enjoy this corner," A voice said from above her, making Mei peak an eye open—though, she'd already known who it was. Ji-ho sat down beside her, crossing his legs. "You have a bed, you know—it's not exactly comfy but it's gotta be better than sitting here all night." He told her, looking at her in concern.

          The first time he'd seen Mei, she had looked completely fine—but it was only going on for day three and already dark circles had began to take shape under her eyes and the makeup she had previously been wearing was a little smudged, making her look even more tired. Ji-ho was concerned for his new friend, knowing that she needed to be well rested if she planned on competing in the games at her full potential.

           "I'll go to sleep soon," Mei assured him. "I'm just not ready for it yet." She told him, pulling her legs closer to her body to stop the chill that ran down her spine when she thought about sleeping.

          Ji-ho tilted his head, "You wanna just talk for a while then? I feel like we don't really know that much about each other yet," He suggested, making her grimace. He laughed a little. "What, don't like talking about yourself?" He playfully asked her, raising a brow in the dark.

          Mei shook her head, "I'm not that interesting."

          Ji-ho scoffed in disbelief, "I'm sure you are," He insisted. "Well, tell me, where do you work?" He asked, initiating the conversation anyway.

          Mei paused before letting out a sigh, "I've never really had a proper job which is why I guess I've never really made it out in the real world," She said with a scoff at her own expense. "Grew up rich. Became poor. I just did a bunch of jobs here and there, barely making enough money to get by between trying to pay for myself and my mother. I got involved in some gang shit for a while but I managed to get out clean—not owing them a penny."

         "Recently I've been working at a local convenience store. It's not great and the pay is shit but it's stable and it pays the bills," She went on before turning to face Ji-ho with a shrug. "See, not that interesting." She assured him, giving a small smile.

           Ji-ho shrugged, "Nah, I still think you're pretty interesting."

           Mei turned to face him, "What about you? What do you do?" She asked, wanting a little tit for tat.

           "I own a car company," He told her much to her surprise. "I'm not in a lot of debt—not anything crazy like the rest of the people in here, maybe just a couple thousand. But the business barely makes enough money to keep us afloat let alone pay for my son's treatment." He explained as she nodded along in understanding.

            "And your wife?" Mei inquired, scooting closer to him. "Is she pretty?" She asked with a smile, giving him a nudge.

          Ji-ho let out a laugh, a huge smile plastered on his face in the dark, "The prettiest," He said, nodding his head. "She dyes her hair a different colour just about every other month and yet, no matter the colour, she's always the most beautiful woman in the world to me. Right now it's pink." He said with a laugh, thinking fondly of his wife.

         He turned to her, "What about you? You got someone waiting for you outside of here?" He asked her.

         Mei pursed her lips together, "Nope," She chirped. "I've never really done the whole boyfriend thing—let alone ever get married. I watched my parents shit show of a marriage and I don't know, I guess it just put me off of the idea of love forever. I think it's real—for most people, like you and your wife. But it's just never been a priority in my life, you know?" She tried explaining how she felt. It wasn't that she didn't think she could find herself a husband—she imagined it wouldn't be that hard. But she'd never wanted one. She liked keeping herself to herself. The idea of sharing her life with someone else was enough to make her want to throw up.

           Ji-ho gave a small laugh, "Funnily enough, it's always when love is never a priority that you find it," He informed her. "I met my wife at a ramen joint—she'd knocked into me and spilled her entire bowl onto me. I think I fell in love with her in that exact moment." He said, smiling off into the distance, as if he could imagine the entire scene in front of him.

          Mei smiled to herself, "That's really nice, Ji-ho," She whispered before turning to face him. "We'll do everything we can to make sure you go back to your wife, alright? And your kid." She insisted, giving a determined nod of her head.

          "You know," Ji-ho drawled out. "I've been paying attention to you, Mei Wu. And you try to act like you're all cold and distant—but you're actually a massive softie, aren't you?" He hummed, looking at her with a shit-eating grin on his face.

        Mei puffed out air from her cheeks, "Whatever."

        Mei had insisted—and practically dragged Ji-ho back to his bed an hour later when he began yawning. He'd gone complaining, insisting that he wanted to stay awake with her for a little longer to make sure she would be okay—especially from those like Do-yun. But Mei had flashed him her knife, reminding him that she was more than protected and that if she needed anything from him she would wake him. After that, he finally retreated to his well needed sleep.

         Mei had returned to her corner, sitting with her legs in a basket as she finally took her ponytail down. She'd had it in all day and her head was throbbing, despite the fact that it had been loose to begin with. She ran her fingers through her knotted hair, pulling apart the tendrils, some of her hair shedding onto her trousers.

         She was massaging her scalp when she heard someone approach her. She smiled to herself, shaking her head, "Ji-ho, I already told you I was—" she stopped herself short as she looked up, realising that it wasn't Ji-ho that stood in front of her and instead, Young-il.

          His hair was slightly more messy, having previously been asleep and his eyes had a glazed sleepiness to them. He smiled down at her, reaching up to scratch at the back of his head, "You mind if I give you company? I can't get back to sleep." He asked her hopefully.

          Mei stared at him for a moment before nodding her head, scooting up against the wall a little more for him to sit down beside her which he did. He yawned as he got himself comfortable, "Can't sleep either, huh?" He asked her, tipping his head to the side to look at her as she continued to run her fingers through her long hair.

          "I haven't slept since the day we got here," She confessed, making his mouth fly open, prepared to protest. Mei held her hand up, stopping him. "It's alright, really. I don't sleep much back at home either. It's just..." She trailed off, not quite ready to admit that she was afraid of the dark or why.

          Young-il watched her, examining her face, "What scares you so bad you can't sleep? Is it this place?" He asked her, making her head snap towards him in surprise that he'd figured out she'd been too afraid to sleep.

           "I—" She paused before sighing, looking down as she fiddled with the ends of her hair. "It's not even really this place—I mean, part of it is. But I've been this way for as long as I can remember. I don't... I don't really like the dark, okay? And I know that's stupid and immature but—"

           "It's not stupid and immature," Young-il spoke over her, surprising her further. He looked at her, his eyes soft. "You know what the fear of the dark is? It's an irrational fear—you have no reason to fear it and yet you do. It's something completely out of your control like the weather or the time. You're not responsible for your fears, Mei." He spoke gently, staring at her with eyes she was sure could see straight through her.

         Mei snapped her head away, looking down at her thighs, "Except it is," She insisted. "If I'd never..." she trailed off, shaking her head and pushing her lips together. She'd only known Young-il for two days—she wasn't about to go confessing all of her deepest and darkest secrets to the man, no matter how much she felt like she could possibly trust him.

           "If you never what?" He prompted her.

          Mei sat up straighter, shaking her head, "It's nothing," She dismissed before turning to look at him. "Your life out there, is it worth going back to?" She suddenly asked him, trying to swiftly change the subject.

         Young-il's mouth flew open, a small laugh escaping his lips, "That's a change of topic." He breathed out.

         Mei tilted her head, "Well, is it?" She pushed.

          Young-il stared at her for the longest of moments before slowly nodding his head, "My life has a lot of... complications," He told her. "But getting out of here will be worth it if I get to see my child." He said, giving her a firm nod.

        "And your wife." Mei piped in.

        Young-il nodded slowly, watching her, "And my wife," He added, watching her. "And you? You got a husband to return home to?" He asked her curiously.

         Mei scoffed, "That's the second time I've been asked that tonight," She spoke her thoughts aloud before looking at the man. She shook her head. "No. I don't have a husband or a boyfriend—or a potential boyfriend for that matter."

         "That's surprising," Young-il said with a laugh. "How about friends then? Surely you have a lot of those waiting for you." He asked, wanting to make sure her life outside of that place wasn't a lonely one.

          "I don't really have many friends," She told him honestly. "I have a fat cat and I have Jun-ho." She chirped, drumming her hands onto her thighs.

         Young-il blinked, "Jun-ho?" He whispered.

         Mei looked at him, quirking a brow, "What, you know someone with that same name? Hey, maybe it's the same person. Does your Jun-ho happen to be a traffic cop?" She asked him playfully, knowing that the odds were very slim but still choosing to ask anyway.

          Young-il blinked slowly, "No..." He said, trailing off. "The Jun-ho that I knew is gone now." He said in a small voice.

         Mei turned to look at him, watching as his jaw flexed and his eyes shifted back and forth, slightly glazed over. She moved a little closer to him, putting her hand on his knee, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked." She apologised, her thumb tracing circles against his knee.

         Seeming to snap out of it at her touch, Young-il glanced downwards, staring at her hand on his knee. Mei froze, realising she had probably crossed a line—though, she hadn't meant to. It had just come naturally.

        She quickly pulled back, "Sorry, I—" her apology was cut short when Young-il grabbed ahold of her hand, freezing it in the air.

        "It's alright. You don't have to apologise," He assured her, still holding onto her hand. He slowly stood to his feet, giving her hand a tug. "Why don't we go to sleep now? You look exhausted. And you'll need your rest for the next game." He said, his gaze holding onto hers as he gripped onto her hand.

          Mei slowly nodded, allowing him to pull her to his feet. They walked back towards their bunks, Mei trailing behind him as he pulled her along, leading her across the dark room, his hand warm in hers. When they reached their bunks that were directly next to to each other, Young-il let go and offered her a smile.

          "Goodnight, Mei." He said, his eyes never once leaving hers.

          Mei stared at him, swallowing as her throat suddenly went dry, "Night." She quickly said, hurrying to get into her bed and throw her blanket over her head.

        She lay there, her eyes open as her cheeks burned. What the fuck, she thought to herself. She couldn't explain it—but when their hands had touched it was like a switch had turned on. Her skin suddenly felt sensitive and her nerves were tingling, her cheeks hot and stomach swirling. It was stupid—so very fucking stupid. But he'd touched her and she'd felt something.

         Mei lay there under her blanket until it got too warm, finally allowing herself to come out. She stuck her hand out, allowing it to hang over the bunk, trying to get some air to cool herself down as she squeezed her eyes shut, hoping and praying sleep would soon take over her so that she could be done with the stupid thoughts inside her head.

         Just as she was finally beginning to doze off, she felt it—a pinky finger curling around hers.

( authors note )

        more and more mei & in-ho content from bear on out guys! well done for lasting these many chapters without it🎀

        — taylor x