─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
CHAPTER FIFTEEN:
i don't blame you.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The masked guards had come by not too long after the group were getting to know each other. Everyone had stood in their presence, waiting for what they had to say. When they announced that only 110 players had died and that the total cash money had rounded up to 20.1 billion won—meaning that between them, each player would receive over 78 million won, the players began kicking up.

Those that had previously chosen 'O' with the intent of playing one more game before leaving had been arguing with the guards—insisting there had to be more money than that after 110 players had died. Mei had watched them all in disgust. They were disappointed that more players hadn't died—players like her who had already voted to leave. While earlier that day, they had all been encouraging each other duding the games. But it seemed the moment they returned to the dormitory, they began hoping for the other players downfalls.

Their disappointment put Mei on edge. Most of them had been hoping to walk out with at least 100 million won—but now that they knew they would be leaving with under, she began to question their motives. She assumed most of them would still want to stay since their prize money hadn't been as much as they'd hoped—and it already left her feeling defeated and sickened.

Mei stood on her side, her breathing ragged as she stared up at the screen counting the number of 'X's and 'O's that had voted so far. She was fiddling with the rings on her fingers, growing more and more anxious as time went on. Already, the 'O's were beating them 36 to 33.

"Player 126." The guard called for the next player, but before they could walk up to the podium, Gi-hun was suddenly pushing his way by Mei and towards the front of the crowd.

"Everyone!" He called out, making it out of the crowd, fully prepared to yell at those who were choosing 'O'.

"Have you lost your minds?" Young-il suddenly called out as she stepped out from the X's side. He had stuck to his word much to Mei's relief, changing his vote as he had promised. Ha-rin had also changed her vote, switching to the 'X's.

Mei lifted her head, watching as Young-il began walking down the aisle, Gi-hun staring at him in surprise, "You stood by and watched them kill all those people and you still want to go on?" He demanded desperately. "You think you won't be the next one to die?" He questioned them, looking around and waiting for someone to respond.

When no one did, he began pacing back and forth, "If you keep going we're all gonna die," He exclaimed. "Use your heads for once. Take that and get out. You need to survive—then you can think about the future." He tried convincing them as Mei slowly nodded her head along to his words.

"Oh, yeah?" A voice retorted. Mei's teeth clenched when she watched player 100 walk out from the crowd. "What does 70 million do for us, huh? I don't know how much debt you're in, my good man, but for all these folks, that prize isn't nearly enough money. It won't cover a tenth of what I owe!" He argued, coming face to face with Young-il.

Enraged, Mei pushed herself out of the crowd without thinking twice, "And that's our faults?" She demanded. Young-il turned, his gaze landing on her as he watched her slowly walk out from the crowd, eyes locked onto the older man fiercely. "We should all just die so that you can pay your debts? Are you fucking serious?" She asked in disgust, her eyes narrowed, jaw tense.

The older man stared her down, "We can't afford to worry about what's next!" He yelled at her, throwing up his hand as she tutted at him, shaking her head in refusal. "That chump change won't do a damn thing!" He yelled, pointing up towards the millions of won inside of the piggy bank.

"That's fucking right!" Player 043 called out in agreement from beside the man. "If I just took that, I know I wouldn't be able to last long!"

"Game one was 25 mil. Game two was 78 mil," Player 100 went on. "That means after each round, the total more than tripled after the count. So then, if we play one more, that will bring our total to at least 240 million!" He yelled, throwing his hands up.

Mei stared him down, "You fucking idiot." She seethed, her words coming out as a growl.

"I can't do this anymore. I wanna go," Someone was suddenly crying. When Mei turned to look, she realised it was one of the girls that had been on the team that had made it before anyone else. "Please, don't do this. I wanna go home. Just let us out of here. I just... I just wanna leave and go home—more than anything. I don't wanna die in here." She sobbed hysterically, tears streaming down her face as she held her head in her hands.

Mei watched her, feeling sympathy for the girl as she pleaded to go home. No one spoke a word for a few seconds—contemplating their guilt and actions, "Miss," A voice spoke up. Upon looking, Mei realised it was 043 again. "You're still a very young woman. You could start again someday. I don't have that choice—"

"I wanna go, please. I can't stay here." She cried over him, her hands enclosed and brought to her chin, as if she were praying.

"My family and I have no future," 043 went on. "I owed more than 500 million when I lost my business. For us to have a chance, I need to make it out with at least half of that. I want my family to have a shot at a fresh start." The man began to cry, trying to explain his reasoning—but Mei felt no sympathy for him.

She took a few steps closer, "You think your family can start fresh if you die in here?" She demanded, making him look at her with tears dripping down his chin. "And what about all of the other people who have families? The people who want to go home? Do you think it's fair you force them to compete in yet another game where they might die and never see their family again? How can you be so fucking selfish?" She said all in one breath, storming towards him, her cheeks flushed.

She threw her hand up, "These people in here don't owe you shit!" She exclaimed. "Why should they die just so you can start fresh, huh? What makes you think you're entitled to that?" She whispered, glaring into his entire soul.

"Your family won't even see your body," Young-il spoke up, his voice gentler. "You think they'd really want that? If they lose you, that's it! It's over. You're dead! And they get nothing!" He cried, his eyes brimming with tears.

"Oh fuck that! Don't let them scare you!" Player 226 yelled out from the crowd, "Ddakji. Red light, green light. Spinning Top! These are kids games! None of this is actually hard!" He exclaimed before pointing upwards. "Plus, look! There's still 225 of us and that means over half the players got this far! We've come all this way aleady, right? So let's just play one more game!" He encouraged, yelling his words into the crowd.

"Well said, young man," 100 praised as he walked towards him, making Mei narrow her eyes. "There's no point in voting to stop. You all heard him. You know these kids games inside out—it's why you're all still alive! Right? So let's keep playing until we all get what we came for! Just one more game—no more, no less!"

"Yeah. One more game, we can do it!" Player 226 cheered, throwing his fists up into the air.

To Mei's horror, half of the room began chanting 'one more game' over and over again. Mei slowly turned, feeling a heated gaze on her. Looking, her gaze caught Young-il's as he stood behind her, his jaw tight, lips pressed into a fine line and his eyes on hers.

Mei felt a nervous laugh blow out through her mouth, "We're all fucked."

The voting ended in 139 'O's and 116 'X's. When it was all said and done, Mei's entire group had voted to leave with the exception of Jung-bae who had surprised everyone by voting to stay. When the lights had come back on, they were all handed their dinner for the evening—a bread roll and some milk. Mei had scoffed in the guards faces, denying the food before walking off to be alone.

She sat in a corner of the room where no one else was, sitting directly underneath one of the security cameras. She felt defeated—completely and utterly defeated. After the second game, she had truly believed that they could get out of that place and return home. But it seemed that even more people had decided to stay, making her come to the conclusion that unless those people died in the next game, there was no getting home. And even then, Jung-bae had proven that people could change their mind, even those that had previously voted to leave.

Mei sat there, staring into space. Half of her ponytail had fallen out during the second game but she hadn't even attempted to fix it. Her white shoes had a little blood on the toes that she was fixated on, staring at the blotches with a hard gaze. Blood was something she was beginning to get used to in that place—it was a colour that would be engrained into her very soul.

Mei's stare on the blood spot was shifted when a hand came into her line of view. She looked up, her tired eyes focusing on the bread roll Young-il was offering her, "You didn't take yours so this was just left sitting there," He began saying. "Didn't feel right letting it go to waste. Plus, you should eat. You haven't ate since when? Before you even got here? You have to be exhausted." His face held concern, his brows pulled downwards as he watched her carefully.

"I don't want it." Mei refused, her tone neutral.

Young-il stared at her for a second before sighing and crouching down in front of her, "Mei, you have to eat—if you don't, you're not going to have any strength for the next game and—"

"Maybe that's a good thing," She interrupted him, her gaze settling back onto her bloodied shoes. "Maybe then I can die of starvation instead of a bullet to the head." She said humorously, a scoff leaving her lips.

"You're not going to die, Mei." Young-il reassured her.

Mei tore her gaze from the blood splatters, "Oh, I'm not?" She asked him. She tilted her head, eyes boring into his. "What makes you think that, huh?" She demanded.

Young-il watched her, thinking over what he was going to say, "Because you're strong," He told her, making her lips part. "I knew it from the moment I saw you. You have fire, Mei—a lot of it. You're not going to die in a place like this and if you do, then I'll have no fucking hope left, alright?" He told her passionately, never once releasing his gaze from hers.

Mei watched him, her eyes scanning his features, "You know, I should blame you," She pointed out. Young-il's lips parted. "Had you not voted to stay after the first game, we'd all already be home. All of those other people wouldn't have died. If you'd just voted to leave, there would never been another vote. We could have left already." She told him, venom dripping from her tongue.

Young-il inhaled sharply, his features softening, "You're right. And I'll live with that guilt," He agreed before standing to his feet. He gesture with his hands. "Come on then. If you blame me then get all of that anger out—take it out on me. I can take a punch." He suggested, tapping his cheek.

Mei screwed up her face, "What're you doing?" She asked him, not understanding why he would want her to hit him.

"You said it yourself—this is my fault. I deserve to be punished," He told her before rubbing his hands together. "Now come on. I know you can fight. Hit me one." He urged, tempting her to let her anger out.

Mei stared at him for the longest of moments before standing to her feet. She rolled her head on her shoulders, staring him down.

She inhaled. And then she swung.

Her fist collided with his jaw, knocking him back several paces but it didn't make him fall. He stood there, his head hanging low as he took the punch, flexing his jaw.

Mei walked up to him, "I don't blame you," She told him, making him slowly bring his head up to face her, eyes watering ever so slightly—something Mei knew to be a reaction of taking a punch. She tilted her head. "But thank you for giving me something to punch." She said, a small smile beginning to form on her lips.

Young-il stared at her for the longest of moments before a laugh escaped his mouth, "You're welcome," He said, giving a nod. He extended his hand, offering her the bread roll once more. "Now will you please eat for me? I feel like it's the least you can do after punching me in the face." He pleaded, a teasing tone to his voice, holding no grudge towards her.

She eyed the bread roll in his hands before sighing. She reached out, taking it, "Fine." She finally agreed, allowing him to put his hand on the small of her back to guide her back towards their group, not wanting her to sit alone.

"Oh, and Young-il?" She spoke up before she reached the group, stopping to look back at him. She held his gaze, eyes flickering between his. "Thank you."

He stared at her, lips parted before he worked up a smile, "Any time."

( authors note)

       in-ho's so touch starved he wanted punched by mei so badly 🎀

        — taylor x