CHAPTER TEN
Shouting And Screaming
April 23rd, 1978

Daphne had never been happier to go back to school, though she had to admit those holidays weren't so bad. The Dark Lord had left their house in the middle of the night, telling her father Aurors were on his track—so after that, it was pretty much peaceful. Evan and Daphne had spent time with their parents. They had played chess, played Quidditch in the garden with her father joining a few times and learning how to brew their mother's latest potion. It had been good, but parts of her couldn't help but feel the need to see James again. Letters weren't enough. Kissing her parents on the cheek one last time, she waved and stepped on the train.

Finally.

Two hands sneaked from behind and hid her eyes, "Barty, oi!" She exclaimed, recognising the strong cologne which she was now very familiar with. "How are you, you tosser?" She added, turning on her heels to hug him.

He let out a puff of air at the contact, but hugged her back, "Someone missed me, eh?" He teased as she rolled her eyes. "You can say it, I won't blame you. I'm quite amazing myself, so—"

"Shut up, Crouch," Rebecca's voice echoed through the corridor, pushing him aside as she smiled widely at Daphne. "Oh, I've missed you," she let out a long sigh, wrapping her arms around her.

Barty chuckled, shaking his head before continuing his way to find a free compartment. Daphne liked Barty, he was nice and funny. She liked nice and funny blokes. Besides, him and Evan had almost grown up together—now that she thought of it, he was at home quite a lot before. Rebecca, too.

"Ladies," Barty said, opening the door for them to step in. As soon as they were sit down, he sighed heavily. "Where's Evan, Daph?"

"Around. Probably with Regulus," she told him. "I need to use the loo and I might fetch Pandora on the way back, alright?" Daphne added, rising on her feet as they both hummed.

Exiting the compartment, she pushed a few people aside as she made her way to the loo. As she walked, she smiled and greeted a few housemates, and acquaintances she had made throughout her years at Hogwarts. Weirdly, she hadn't seen any of James' friends or him at all, which was odd. Locking the door behind her, she let out a long and exhausted sigh—daring to look at herself in the mirror, she winced. Rough, was one word to describe herself. Her fingers first traced the bags under her eyes, and noticed that they had darkened over the weeks. Even her eyes seemed to have lost their colours.

After a few minutes, she left and made her way back to the compartment, hoping she would find Pandora on her way back, "Pandy!" She called as she noticed the Ravenclaw coming her way. "Hey," she breathed out, hugging her.

Pandora pulled away rapidly, "I have to warn you, Daphne," she started, cupping her face. "You are going to have a conversation with James and others, please listen to him."

"Why are you warning me about this?"

Pandora sighed, "Because if you say the wrong things, I fear you will regret it forever," she said, a little bit more dramatic than she intended to. "This could change your whole future. Listen to him and what he has to say," she pressed, staring at Daphne, which made her nervous. "Promise me."

"Alright, I promise," she whispered back. "You are scaring me," she added, frowning at the girl in front of her.

Pandora shook her head, "I didn't mean to scare you, I just wanted to warn you. I, too am scared about what the future holds for you, Daphne," she confessed with a grimace. "It is quite unsure, but whenever you are with James, everything makes so much sense and I can see you."

Daphne never quite believed Pandora's gifts until they really became friends. Words traveled around the castle quite fast, and everyone kept telling how mad she was. Daphne, sadly, believed it until last year when Pandora predicted her the death of her family owl. Ever since, Daphne had promised to herself that she would always believe Pandora. So, seeing her so frantic about this upcoming conversation, Daphne felt instantly frightened by it. She swallowed hard, and thanked Pandora before telling her Barty and Rebecca were waiting for her in a compartment near here.

"Ah, there you are!" Evan cheered, swinging an arm around his sister's shoulders. "Regulus and I were heading towards the back, Barty told you he would try to find a compartment."

"He did," she forced a smile, glancing at Regulus. "Just follow Pandy, she's going their way. I have to go do something else," she then added as they both nodded. "See you later."

Evan hummed, putting his hands back into his pockets, "Reg, you coming?"

"Yes," Regulus' soft voice echoed through her ears. "Daphne, are you okay?" He queried, noticing her sudden anxious expression.

Daphne nodded her head, "I'm alright. I will be back in a few," she promised, turning on her heels and starting to look around so she could find James.

The familiar laughs echoed through the train, and she knew they weren't far anymore. James. She needed to see James, talk with him and see what Pandora was ranting about. Reaching his compartment, she glanced at it as her heart sunk a little—Marlene Mckinnon, Mary Macdonald, Peter Pettigrew, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, James Potter and Lily Evans were laughing so loud that tears were streaming down their cheeks. Lily was almost leaning her head on James' shoulder and Daphne wondered when. When did she get close to him? Not that she didn't trust Lily with him, but she loathed him. Truly loathed him. Their long conversations could testify that. Sadness consumed her as she watched them, if only she could have that. Laugh with James and his friends so loud that she had to clunch at her stomach.

Lily was the first to notice her as she straightened, and rose on her feet, "Daph, hey!" She greeted, sliding the compartment's door.

One of the many things Daphne admired—Lily Evans certainly didn't care of who she was seen with, and somewhat it made her heart warmer.

"Hey, Lils," she articulated, smiling at her. "How are you?"

"I'm good! Perfect, even," she replied rapidly. "I have something to give you later, remind me?"

"Of course," she answered, nodding her head. "Hey guys," she looked over Lily's shoulder, greeting the whole group.

That was when she noticed; Remus, Sirius and Peter were staring at her differently and she gulped feeling intimidated by their stares. Mckinnon and James replied with a small wave and a smile.

"I will see you later then," she added after a few seconds, looking at Lily.

But before she could leave, Sirius had risen up on his feet and grabbed her wrist, "Not so fast, Daphne," he smirked. "Care to join us? It will only take minutes," he added.

"Alright," she whispered, following him into the compartment. "What is going on?" She asked as she watched her cousin ask the girls to leave. Lily gave her friend one last reluctant glance before following Mary and Marlene.

Sirius plopped down again, scooting close to Remus, "You can sit, you know," he noticed her as he pointed at the empty seat next to James. "Daphne, sit. Really," he then pressed.

"Bloody hell," she muttered under her breath, sitting down next to James as he avoided her eyes. "What the fu—"

"We know," was all Sirius said to make her go silent. "We interfered and read your letter on accident, well to be honest—Remus did," he commented.

"I did not!" Remus argued rapidly, gasping. "Shite liar. We asked about her and you grabbed the bloody letter, Sirius. Do not blame it on me."

"I did guess she was a snake," Peter Pettigrew chirped.

Daphne glanced at him, "A snake? How lovely," she snorted. "Is that all then?"

James frowned, "What do you mean, is that all?"

"Well, I don't want to discuss our relationship with an idiot like Sirius," she muttered. "Besides, it was a secret James and—"

"Hey! I did my best at keeping that secret, like Moony said he grabbed the bloody letter out of my hands! What was I supposed to do? Beg him on my knees?" He shouted, noticing Remus had thrown a silence charm around them, and was quietly closing the blinds. "What was I supposed to do, eh?"

"You should have begged on your knees, then!" She exclaimed. "Now that the secret—"

"Our, Daph. Our secret," he argued.

Sirius leaned closer to Remus, "I never thought I would see my cousin and my best mate arguing like Effy and Monty," he whispered and Remus grunted, nudging him away.

"We won't tell anyone," Remus said quietly as the voices in the compartment faded down, and all they could hear were the heavy pants. "Besides, I think Sirius is getting used to it now. He didn't talk to James for days, and I had to bunk in with James because he wouldn't hear me out about you," he ranted and she eyed him suspiciously.

"How can I be sure?" She said.

Remus shrugged, "I promise you. Isn't that enough?"

"I-I don't know," she confessed, looking down at her feet. "No one could know because it's getting to risky after that," she told them. "Sirius should know better than anyone else."

Sirius snorted, "I don't know. I haven't seen Walburga in years," he muttered.

"Not everyone has a choice," she spat back, then looked back at James. "I need to leave."

James sighed heavily, "N-no, wait! Please, Daph. Let's just talk," he pleaded. "We can talk and I will say sorry about ev—"

"James," she cut him off softly. "I need time, okay? Will you...give me time?"

Daphne's voice was softer, softer than what Sirius had heard before and he felt his heart tightened at the sight of his best mate on the verge of crying. He had done that. What was wrong with him? Why did he always hurt the people he loved the most?

He hummed, "Yeah, I can give you time," he replied, clearing his throat. "I love you," he added, not sure if he would get back an answer. But, Sirius feared that he would collapse if he didn't get any.

Daphne seemed hesitant as if the walls had ears and could hear them, she then glanced at every boy in the compartment and gave him a smile, "I love you too."

As soon as Daphne left their compartment, she released a breathe she didn't know she was holding. She hadn't listened to James like Pandora had asked, she had run away from the problem—something she tended to do a lot more these days. But, what if they talked and it was the last time they would ever have a civilised conversation? What if Sirius had told him lies and lies during the holidays and James didn't love her like he claimed to? What if she couldn't trust Remus so easily and he would tell everyone?

Making her way back her dorm with Rebecca behind, she sighed heavily. The feast had been good mostly, until she locked eyes with James. He hadn't stopped looking at her ever since they had sit down in the Great Hall, and she feared he would get on his feet and come to her but he didn't. Sometimes she wondered how easy it would be to kiss him in the middle of the hallways instead of cupboards, to hold his hand as they walked to Hogsmade instead of holding his hand timidly under his invisibility cloak. Daphne wanted it to be easy, she desperately wanted their relationship to be. Perhaps, if she hadn't gotten the mark, they could...been easy. She would have declared her love for James Potter in the middle of the quidditch pitch, or the Great Hall, in Potion class if she had to—she would have done it.

"Hey Daph, are you okay? You seem quite out of it," Rebecca snapped her out of her thoughts as she watched her best friend. "Did something happen earlier?"

"No, don't worry. Just knackered," Daphne forced a smile as Rebecca nodded. "I will just take a shower and...then go to bed, alright?"

Rebecca hummed, "Yeah, sure," she answered. "Just don't take too much time, you know how cold the water gets after a while," she chuckled.

"You know," she started as she gathered her pyjamas. "I've always thought the cold water was coming from the lake. It would make sense, wouldn't it?"

Becca grimaced, making Daphne chuckle, "That is disgusting, Daph! You better hurry or I swear on Salazar I will hex your arse if you make me shower with cold water," she warned loudly as Daphne closed the door behind her.

...

Sirius didn't think he had seen Prongs being so dull before, not even when Lily used to refuse him every once in a while—well, every day. Had he eaten correctly earlier? He hadn't watched. Though, he had noticed how his eyes would linger on Daphne...he had to admit, he wasn't being very subtle about it.

"Prongs, are you okay?" Sirius asked, once they were alone. "I'm sorry I ruined everything," he whispered again, seeing he wasn't getting any answer.

"You didn't," James answered, then winced. "Well, you kind of did. But it's not your fault she asked for time," he added.

"Can I bunk in?" He asked timidly and James nodded, too exhausted to even argue with it. He moved the cover so Sirius could get under it and laid back on his pillow, looking at him. They hadn't shared a bed since what? Fourth year? "I'm sorry," he whispered, once they were comfortable.

He frowned, "For?"

"For ruining everything," he added. "Macdonald told me I had a destructive aura," he snorted, telling James. "I didn't believe her at first, but I think I might have one. Do you know what's an aura, Prongs?"

"Bloody hell, no," he chuckled.

Sirius cleared his throat, "They...the girls told me it was energy around the body. It apparently shows an essential part of the individual," he explained what he had understood from his conversation. "She then told me I had this kind of destructive aura around me, she might be right."

James hated it. He hated hearing Sirius say he had a destructive aura, because if anyone was qualified enough to know it wasn't true, it would definitely be James. Perhaps, Moony too. Point was, Sirius was not destructive. He was everything but destructive. James thought Sirius was lovely, he was lovely person. No one knew how much he had been through, how scattered he looked when he appeared in James' living room in the middle of the night, how he hadn't talked for days after that and would jump at every little noise he would hear thinking it was Walburga. They didn't know that.

"I don't think you're destructive," James then said. "I-I think you have too much rage in you and sometimes you don't think things through," he explained softly. "But, you're not destructive, Pads."

"Thanks," he muttered weakly. "I am really fucked up, aren't I?" he said, laying on his back to stare at the ceiling.

"Yeah."

Sirius knew he was meant to be this perfect man that his mother had been trying so hard to make him become, but he didn't think he could ever be perfect. No one was perfect. Effie—Mum, hald told him this and he wanted to believe it. James wasn't perfect either. Sirius often thought he was a narcissist, he chewed with his mouth open and he trusted people too easily; but Sirius loved him that way. Though, he wondered if Moony loved him with the good and bad parts? Sirius knew himself a little too much, he had done mistakes and had probably almost done them again, he had hurt people and had continued to do it. But, if he was there then it meant something, didn't it?

"But, I love you the way you are Pads," he added, almost as though he was reading Sirius' darkest thoughts. "Look at us. Two grown blokes sharing a bed. Reckon Moony has competition?" He teased.

Sirius snorted loudly, "Moony will never have competition," he murmured lovingly. "Alright, night."

"Night," he whispered back.

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authors note, daphne and james fighting is never good, trust me it hurts also sirius thinking he's destructive 😣😣😣 i love them so much, i can't handle it