Phoenix widened his eyes in shock, the extravagant chandelier's warmth gently caressing their soft skin, as he came to a halt. Despite the looming presence of the gleaming chandelier, the dwelling was rather modest: oak adorned each corner, not gold, and it was cosily sized - not large nor small. A burgundy bed solemnly guarded its home in the corner, appearing big enough for two yet disused. It carried with it the dense air of unfulfilment within the absent creases upon its pristine duvet. Untouched. In fact, the entire place felt sad and untouched: the leftovers of a lifetime had perhaps been abandoned here to die. Perhaps they now resided here as haunting reminders.
"Where are we?" Phoenix broke the expected silence whilst immediately feeling inherently wrong for doing so. The neat pile of uniformly stacked paper was now glaring at him angrily, causing the shorter man to shift uncomfortably.
"My private quarters." Leader Edgeworth, in accordance with his title, took the lead by lightly stepping further into said quarters. His expensive leather shoes seemed to lose their voice for once, respectfully, as he stiffly slid one of the many drawers of his rather barren desk open. Acquainted with the space, Phoenix's mouth ran away with itself on a rendezvous with impropriety before his brain could advise it to abstain:
"It's not what I expected." It was mindlessly uttered, blue eyes far away, causing the Leader to tense. Phoenix quickly caught on, fumbling with his words in a panicked manner.
"I like it."
"Oh? I'm relieved."
"It's cosy and tasteful and... Normal."
"I think we need to take a look at your lexicon." Leader Edgeworth chuckled - his shoulders relaxing, signifying the allowance of the formation of a discreet smile atop his lips - as his slender hand grappled for something within the drawer, eventually grasping it.
"Lexicon?" Phoenix also let out a rather hearty snicker:
"If you can understand me, who cares?"
"Perhaps I should reeducate you myself." Leader Edgeworth playfully smirked, his eyes lingering upon the other's features for a moment without complaint: almost fully-healed scabs prettily adorned skin, black spikes were tastefully mussed and everything about Phoenix's posture exuded modest confidence - steady yet rounded shoulders, discreet weight shifting from leg to leg and a broad chest accompanied by unmoving blue eyes. Out of every luxuriously gold-encrusted item within his palace, Phoenix Wright had had, inarguably, the most attention lavished upon him. Leader Edgeworth couldn't quite place his finger upon it, couldn't quite figure out how someone so insignificant could be superior to himself in every discernible aspect: in morale, in dialogue, in personality and every other asset he'd painstakingly honed over the years beneath Saviour Von Karma's intelligent teachings.

"Right, okay." Phoenix grinned quizzically with a quirked eyebrow:
"Before I sign up to your school of dumb words, why are you holding a bone? If that's what they serve at the canteen, then I'm good thanks."
"What, are you vegan?" Leader Edgeworth jeered at the shorter man by jerking the repulsive remnant at him, scrags of unmistakably limp flesh helplessly swaying amidst their incessant clinging to the bone. Like the limp flesh, the repugnant stench of rot was also unmistakable.
"I don't know if not wanting to eat raw meat constitutes as veganism,"
"Regardless, this isn't for you." Lifelessly, the bone retreated from Phoenix to remain loosely in Leader Edgeworth's hand.
"If you want to eat at my school, you're going to have to earn it. Delicacies like this aren't cheap, you know." A smirk. Phoenix frowned, bewildered as:
"Pess!"

Almost as though the entire conversation had been strenuously pre-meditated a small furry creature, at about the height of the bed's simplistic oak feet, emerged from some inconspicuous space, its minuscule paws skittering across the floor as it eagerly made a beeline for the individual who'd summoned it. Once it arrived at Leader Edgeworth's feet, scrabbling at his glossy shoes frantically, its equally glossy black eyes became apparent - gazing up at the pair of human beings in... Respect? Adoration? Confusion? Or perhaps it was just staring at the bone. Regardless, Phoenix was forced to admit that it was cute.
"A dog?"
"No. It's a cat." Leader Edgeworth smiled as he rolled his eyes, crouching - whilst ensuring that aforementioned tasty, rotting bone was out of the exuberant dog's reach - to thoroughly muss Pess's fluffy, golden locks until each hair was astray.
"Your dog?"
"She's called Pess and, yes, she is my dog." Phoenix nodded silently for a moment:
"I didn't see you as a chihuahua kind of guy," Once Pess had come to the realisation that that tantalising treat her owner was so cruelly denying her was, very much, being denied to her, the porcupine-like individual found two paws abusing his own clothing. Phoenix jumped as Pess did, nervously laughing and ruffling her fur as she began licking stripes up his prized (meaning only) pair of jeans. Leader Edgeworth sidled up to the other, a friendly elbow kindly colliding with Phoenix's rib, causing the latter to wobble slightly:
"She likes you."
"I like her, too," Phoenix allowed a small smile to form. It suited him, Leader Edgeworth remarked - inwardly, of course.
"Ah!" The Leader's harmonious thought was immediately intercepted by a cacophony of shock as Phoenix was toppled to the floor with an unceremonious thud, an overzealous chihuahua reigning triumphant atop his saliva-coated body; the only indication of such disturbance within that silvery head, however, was the final reluctant movement of grey eyes. Instead of helping Leader Edgeworth seemed to simply witness the spectacle, inducing a wider smile of his own. He eventually offered his own symbol of assistance: a hand.
"Need a hand?" Phoenix laughed, squirming, as he took the other up on his offer. Leader Edgeworth swiftly shushed his mischievous pet through the bribery of the bone, tossing it somewhere in the rather barren room. It provided a fascinating enough distraction for the animal, which doggedly chased after it, as a dishevelled Phoenix Wright shakily rose to his feet.
"You're quite ticklish, aren't you?"
"No- I mean- I wouldn't-" A hand defensively reached for the nape of his neck, scratching it lightly:
"I wouldn't test it." He quickly added as soon as the Leader's fingers began to twitch keenly.
"Alright, I'll spare you." Leader Edgeworth paused:
"For now."

"So, um, why are we here again?"
"I wanted you to meet Pess. And me." Phoenix paused, meeting the other's eyes halfway for a long time.
"Oh,"
"I'm Miles Edgeworth." Everything was deadly silent: all furniture was listening in, and even Pess seemed to stop adamantly savaging her provided entertainment in order to watch.
"Call me what you will, but I don't want you to call me Leader anymore."
"Oh," The shorter man began teasing the tender skin of his bottom lip with the edges of his teeth thoughtfully for a moment.
"So you want me to call you Miles? In front of others?"
"Call me what you will when you want. I'd like to think of us as friends."
"I'm sorry, but you can't just expect me to-"
"What would you like me to do in order to gain your forgiveness?" Again, nothing moved for a long time. Only Phoenix appeared to be present - everything revolved around Phoenix.
"I want you to stop persecuting homosexuals and I want you to set whoever remains in those cells free." The response was immediate. Leader Edgeworth glanced away in a forlorn manner.
"I can't. I'm sorry."
"But you said you're not homophobic!" Where tears had welled in the pits of Phoenix's empathetic eyes they glittered determinedly, almost allowing the Leader to blot the aching reality out entirely - to ignore the fact that the other's universe was currently wobbling behind that salty barrier.
"I'm not. I'm just restrained by... History."
"What?"
"Wright, I can't just change an entire-"
"Oh, I get it." Phoenix leant back ever so slightly, eyes perusing the stagnant room, which caused Pess to tilt her head with piqued curiosity.
"You don't call the shots."
"I do." Leader Edgeworth's sentence wavered amidst its adamance, his silvery brows furrowing as the other stepped towards him with a sly grin adorning his rounded face, hesitantly and extremely lightly placing a hand atop his crimson forearm:
"I know a lie when I hear one, Mr Leader Miles Edgeworth, sir," Despite the obvious dig at his titles, the Leader could only find himself transfixed by the almost imperceptible presence of that warm hand upon him, the various fabric barriers between it and his skin a mild irritation. He dazedly met Phoenix halfway with his eyes, blinking rapidly in hopes of saving his oxygen-starved brain. That hand. Oh, god, he'd become stupid: unable to comprehend more than one feature at once. Phoenix was dulling his sharpness. It had to stop.
"Do you?" He croaked weakly before clearing his throat. Phoenix frowned: had some of the ruby dye of the other man's blazer seeped into his cheeks?
"I'm quite perceptive."
"I'm sure you are."

Each man squinted at the other suspiciously, either due to the intense physical proximity, the hand or the predominant blushes they were both sporting. Phoenix stepped back after a moment, releasing the other's forearm from the clutches of his clammy palm.
"Wright, even though I can't fulfil your request, I will see to it that those in the cells are moved to somewhere more habitable." It was an armistice which Phoenix responded to in kind:
"Thank you," A pause.
"And you can call me Phoenix, if you want."
"Ok, Phoenix," Miles exercised his new rights immediately. Its syllables sounded soft and homely.
"I guess it's time for me to return to my enslavement, right?"
"You mean your job." Miles dryly retorted;
"I mean cleaning the royal lavatory is great and all, but it's hardly an occupation, Miles,"
"Really? From what I've heard, you seem to attend with great vigour."
"Shut up," Phoenix's features smarted with a glowing smile - bordering laughter - as he edged towards the agape wooden door with Miles in sluggish pursuit.
"You're lucky I'm fond of you, otherwise I'd have had you shot by now."
"Fond, huh? I'm sure that my dastardly antics will inexorably lead me to the ultimately unforeseen yet entirely premeditated stagnancy of my heart as you uncouthly pierce my reddening flesh with the very tip of one of a plethora of enchantingly gold-encrusted weapons." Miles smiled, he didn't smirk, with his ruffles fluttering as he graciously glided towards the slightly dull brass door-handle in order to coax the object wider as his friend advanced towards it.
"So you do know the basics." The handle rattled in protest to the statement in coordination with one Phoenix Wright, who rose an amused eyebrow as he began to exit.
"Phoenix," A hand stopped him.

Phoenix turned to face its owner once again:
"Can't bear to be without me?"
"Do you understand me more now?" Phoenix blinked with the accompaniment of a small nod, his eyes wandering towards the trotting Pess, who seemed to have taken offence over his decision to leave without a goodbye and was determinedly persevering towards him, that bone remaining captive in her jaws.
"Yeah." Pess yapped several times, but found herself blocked off from Phoenix by Miles's stern foot despite her best attempts to morph into smaller shapes in order to squeeze through the forgotten gaps.
"I don't usually let anyone see this."
"I gathered about as much."
"Have a fantastic time thoroughly cleansing the 'Royal Lavatory'." Phoenix visibly winced, the beginnings of a final leaving gesture brewing, before he faced the other once again.

"You know, for a homophobe, you're pretty gay."