You said "I won't leave you."

I trusted your word.

I should have remembered

The things I have heard

From you are not true,

They're just shadows of lies

That try to look honest

Before the light dies.

You said that "I love you"

Meant "In you I trust."

But is trust a real thing

If it becomes "must"?

I wanted to trust you,

But when I was scared

You lashed out in anger

And asked how I dared.

You said, "I did not try

To hurt you." But friend,

Try or not try,

It still hurt in the end.

You claim to be honest

But wear many masks,

And think this is normal.

"Is it?" my heart asks.

You said I could trust you.

But what does that mean

When trust is a picture

I've never clearly seen?

"Trust! You must trust me!"

You scream through my thoughts,

"I don't know! And I'm scared!"

I sob, tied in knots.

You said "Friends forever!"

And made me your own;

Broke into my chambers

And set up your throne.

You conquered my stories

And dug up my bones,

'Till in the end, I wished

I'd just stayed alone.

You said "I will trust you."

Then opened your soul

And burned me with lava

And flaming black coal.

In melting hands I held

The dramas you made,

'Til I was infected,

'Til I was afraid.

I said, "I can't take this."

And shut all the doors.

I cleaned out the closets

And emptied the drawers.

I gave back your dramas

And all the cruel trust

A cyclone of daggers

That slashed me to dust.

I whispered, "I'm sorry."

And said you could choose

To stay or to go -

To keep or to lose.

Whatever you wanted, I said

Only stay

Outside of the Mansion...

But don't go away.

You said "I won't choose."

Yes, that's what you said,

But whatever we had

Now lies cold and dead.

I nearly am what I have been,

But you are gone, and all this din

Of the things that you said

But did not mean,

Of the double-meanings

And shadows I've seen:

All the lies, all the lies

All the cursed, haunting lies;

You're gone, but the promise

You broke never dies.

It breaks, and keeps breaking.

I took so long to see

You were friends with my trust,

You were not friends with Me.