June 23 2011

suck-mydick-jin is currently Away

me: hi..
me: i'm back
me: yeah so
me: remember that time you almost killed yourself
me: and
me: and
me: and
me: it was because of me
me: fuck
me: i'm so sorry jin
me: i've said it before
me: BUT I WAS SUCH A DICKHEAD
me: i didn't treat you well
me: i took you for granted
me: jsjsshs
me: i can't believe i did that
me: i'm sorry jin
me: i'm so sorry
me: that night
me: we were arguing
me: probably over some pointless bullshit
me: and we were spitting out insults at each other
me: and then i said something i should not have said
me: (thank god for autocorrect bc my view is so cloudeD HAHahah)
me: (get it bc i'm really tired and can't see)
me: (HAHahah)
me: and
me: you told me how
me: actually what the fuck am i saying
me: YOYBDIDNT SAY JACK SHIT
me: IT WAS ALL MY FUCKKNG FUALT
me: fault*
me: i told you how i didn't need you
me: i had others to support me
me: i could support myself
me: you were annoying
me: intolerable
me: obnoxious
me: a waste of my time
me: worthless
me: FUCK
me: that wasn't even what hurt you
me: that wasn't even why you left
me: because we became best friends a month later
me: but it's been longer than a month this time jin
me: more than a month of sorrow
me: more than a month of loneliness
me: more than a month of isolation
me: more than a month without you.
me: and i don't know how i'm still alive.
me: because you're having the time of your life
me: with your new friends
me: with your new source of happiness
me: with new people sending you good morning texts
me: and with new people that you dream of every night.
me: you're calling different people beautiful
me: you're staying up at night saying "i love you" to different people
me: different people are exchanging memes with you
me: there are different people that spend their blessed minutes with you
me: once upon a time i was that person
me: i wish i was still that person.
me: but instead
me: i'm laying here on the 23rd of June
me: wondering where the fuck i went wrong
me: why the love of my life despises my existence
me: and questioning my motives
me: i'm laying here
me: begging you to come back
me: because i'm weak without you,
me: jin
me: i'm dying.
me: come back.