CHAPTER NINE
pink dog, blue bear

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WHEN NADINE WOKE up in the hospital, she'd been told that she should be dead. Gunshot wounds are no picnic, and even though the bullet had rocketed right through her, refusing to be stuck in her shell, the wound it had opened had nearly caused her to take her last breaths. The amount of blood that had poured out of her, a waterfall of glistening crimson, had pooled around her, imprinting her body into the ground. A chalk outline around a murder victim, though instead of the white, fine powder, it had been slippery liquid previously locked away in her vessel, pumping around her body and keeping her alive. There had been too much outside her body than in, and she certainly would've succumbed to the waiting arms of Death if not for a passerby who caught a glimpse of moonlight off red in an alleyway and immediately called an ambulance.

She'd gotten her shoulder pieced together, donated blood flowing through her system, and eventually emerged from the hospital's tides with only a scar to show for it, shouldering a trauma no eighteen-year-old should've ever had to face. But between the nightmares, the aches, and the constant condolences she was given was a question, one she found herself thinking about nearly every day. She thought about it most of the time she was awake, and sometimes it happened to weave itself into her dreams, dancing in front of her tantalizingly like a cat's toy. It was a question she'd never get an answer to.

Why did they do it?

Why did two gunmen decide to go after her? Nadine was just a girl, a month over seventeen, practically still a child. She wasn't some saint who tried to solve world hunger or some sadist who kicked puppies or spat in homeless people's faces; she was an ordinary woman who enjoyed going to aquariums and wearing pink. It made absolutely no sense.

The only theory she could ever come up with was the attempted murder had happened because of her abilities, but how would the gunmen even know about them? It wasn't like she broadcasted them for the world to see—in fact, the only people who knew about them were her parents. It was all too confusing, and Nadine eventually decided to let it go, knowing she'd drive herself mad looking for the answer to an unanswerable question.

How do you even answer an unanswerable question? It is a paradox in and of itself.

Now, standing here, in the Umbrella Academy, in front of Five Hargreeves, who somehow knew her last name, her old query ran through her mind again. She stared at Five, dumbfounded, as he gaped back at her with evident interest written on his face. Great. Now that he knew who she was, she'd suddenly gotten all fascinating.

"How do you know my full name?" she asked eventually. "And what do you mean, I posed a threat to the timeline? Like, do you mean la chronologie, or what?" she kneeled so she was at Five's level. "And no cryptid responses this time. I want you to tell me the truth."

Five rolled his eyes. "It's too complex for you to understand, but I'll give you the basics: basically, there is a group called the Commission that works on eliminating threats to the timeline, or la chronologie, as you refer to it. Meaning, they make sure what's supposed to happen, happens. So, if you are some sort of anomaly to what's supposed to happen, they send out assassins to take you out."

Nadine rubbed her eyes. Five saw the lack of understanding on her face and sighed. "I told you, it's complicated. But the thing is, and this is infinitely more important than me explaining the system, the two assassins that shot you before? They're back. I saw them tonight. Pink dog, blue bear. Hazel and Cha-Cha."

"Hazel and Cha-Cha?" Nadine repeated, the names unfamiliar on her lips. Her heart began to race. If what Five was saying was true, which she thought it was (how else would he have known about the pink dog and blue bear masks?) then these were the names of the people who'd tormented her for years. Who had compelled her to take self-defence classes and sleeping with a bat beside her bed and a knife under her pillow. Who had fucked up her shoulder, given her nightmares, and nearly caused the end of her life. Hazel and Cha-Cha.

"Yep. And they're very dangerous. They've been sent after me because I retired early, but if they find you, they will kill you." He pinched his nose, breathing out a deep sigh. "They might not recognize you, but you can't take that chance. From now on, you're going to have to stay at the Academy. It's safest here—it's filled to the brim with people trained in combat. If you do go out, you're not going to go out alone. You're always going to have one of us go with you at all times."

"Who are you to tell me what to do?" Nadine snapped. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm an adult. I can make my own decisions."

"I'm trying to keep you alive!" Five snarled. "If you go about making your own decisions, you're going to wind up dead in a ditch somewhere. I could've easily just said nothing, you know. You're not family. I don't owe anything to you. But I'm still trying to protect you nonetheless, because, for some reason, it seems that my sister likes you. So how about you just listen to me and stay here. It's a pretty sweet deal, anyway. There are forty-two bedrooms in this place. You can take your pick, and nobody will even bother you."

"What about my things?" Nadine asked after a moment. "They're all still in the motel."

"I'll get them for you. Just tell me what motel you're staying at and what room and I'll blink in tomorrow." Five wiped at his eyes again. He still looked utterly freaked-out, and Nadine began to question why she was trusting him. He was fifty-eight years of jackass in the body of a stunted thirteen-year-old boy wearing adorable little shorts, obviously at least a little bit traumatized from his venture into the future. But he knew things he shouldn't have, and the prospect of her assassins—Hazel and Cha-Cha—returning and finishing the job was enough to make Nadine pause. It was enough to make her as afraid as she'd been when she'd been cowering away from them the first time.

"Fine," she said eventually. "I'll stay here until I know they're gone. But what do you mean, they're after you, too? What did you do?"

Five shrugged, his eyes glittering with an unidentified emotion. A hint of manic alongside genuine distress, perhaps. "I'm trying to stop the end of the world," he said. "It's something that's frowned upon up at HQ. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get Delores settled in."

Before Nadine could question who this Delores was (was she in his duffel bag?) Five had disappeared. Nadine stared at the spot where he'd been standing, many unanswered questions still on her tongue, before turning and heading off in search of a potential room to stay in, her heart still pounding so loud she could hear it in her ears.

It was only twenty minutes later that she realized Five had never really answered her earlier question about the end of the world.

SLEEPING IN THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY was a foreign experience Nadine was having trouble getting used to. She'd picked a guest bedroom (one of many) on the second floor, with a window overlooking the busy street. Cars and people both bustled, going about their evening pleasantly, so routine that it all made Nadine shiver with jealousy. They didn't have to sleep in a stranger's house in their underwear (all of the Umbrella Academy pyjamas were too small for her, and all of her luggage was still at the motel) after being told that the two people who'd shot them were at large again. They didn't have to deal with hostility and arguments at every corner. They were so domestic, so ordinary that it made Nadine growl.

It was after midnight, and Nadine still couldn't drop off to sleep, even accounting for the jetlag. She kept remembering that night, those masks. As Five had said, both of her assassins (Hazel and Cha-Cha, apparently), had been wearing cartoonish animal masks when they'd cornered her in that alleyway. The larger one was wearing the face of a grinning blue bear, and the smaller one had a pink dog, the black ears flopping about as they stepped closer to their prey.

They were out there. They'd kill her, really kill her, if they found her. It would've made anyone uneasy. And it made Nadine sleepless.

She stared up at the ceiling, which was a jumble of black shapes in the darkness. She wanted to know what was happening. If the end of the world was near. Why this HQ was so adamant about hunting people trying to stop the Armageddon. Why she had such bad luck. Seriously, what were the odds of the same assassins who had shot her coming after Five?

She wriggled her fingers, conjuring the image of home. She spread out the image of Dijon, replicating the cityscape nearly perfectly. Of course, there were evident flaws, little defects in the design, but it was close enough. If she focused, she could almost smell the honey of Camille's hair and the lavender of her dresser drawers. It was a heavenly recreation, and she stared up at it, even as her head started to ache, and let her city relax her. She pretended she was at home, that she was safe, that she didn't have to deal with assassins or apocalypses. It was a world where she and Camille were still together...

Once, she and Camille had gone out on a boat at midnight. Stars glittered above them like jewels and crickets chirped in the background. There was the quiet rush of water below them, and Nadine had dipped her hands into it, enjoying the kiss of the moon's reflection on the tips of her fingers. It was full tonight, fat and round, looking so close Nadine thought she might be able to sit on it. She was a little tipsy—they'd brought bottles of wine with them—and perfectly content.

"Tu es belle," she told Camille. "Tu es comme un feu par une froide journée d'hiver. Je t'aime mon cher." You are beautiful. You are like a fire on a cold winter day. I love you, my dear.

"Si je suis un feu par une froide journée d'hiver, alors vous êtes comme un étang par une chaude nuit d'été," Camille replied, cupping Nadine's face with one hand. "Une bouffée d'air frais. Je t'aime, Nadine." If I am a fire on a cold winter day, then you are like a pond on a hot summer night. A breath of fresh air. I love you, Nadine.

Neither of them was very poetic—that much was obvious—but the words didn't matter as much as the emotion behind them. The two women were desperately, completely in love, and they'd thought nothing could ever pull them apart. That night, they slept under the stars, Camille's head buried under the crook of Nadine's arm, both of them knowing that as long as they were together, they would always be safe. That night, it felt like the universe would swallow them up, and they'd float among the glittering jewels forever, dancing their way among them. That night, they grew bigger than giants, gained more power than fairies; they became goddesses. The sun and the moon were in love. You just had to look close enough to see it.

So why, Camille? Nadine asked every day the sun rose its way into the sky in a breathtaking arrangement of colour. Why did you leave me? Did I not love you enough? Was I not enough?

In Nadine's mind, the sun spoke back. You were enough, it told her, its warmth kissing Nadine's cheeks. You're always enough, Nadine Vidal.

Nadine twirled her fingers, expanding the cityscape. Soon, the lake she and Camille had been on that night appeared, even though in reality, it was an hour out of town. With a humming head and a heartbeat fast as a rabbit, Nadine created the boat, and two women sitting in it. One of them was encased head-to-toe in gold, the other one in white, and as they leaned in to kiss each other, they froze, tableaus, their lips barely touching. They were locked in the moment forever, and Nadine never wanted to let them go.

Then... rising out of the crevices of Nadine's mind, another woman materialized. She wasn't the curly brown-haired Camille, with her lilting, honeyed voice that sang like an angel, it was a woman with a voice softer, the down of a kitten instead of a candy-coating. With fine hair like silk and a tendency to keep her mouth locked into a frown, so that when you came by one of her smiles, it was like you were being gifted something precious, a piece of gold, a sparkling diamond. Peeled out of Nadine Vidal's subconscious unintentionally was Vanya Hargreeves.

Nadine closed her eyes, and her illusion crumbled to naught but fragments of thought. There was no point in comparing Vanya to Camille—one was her ex-girlfriend, after all, and the other was just a woman she'd met two days ago. Still, the apparition of Vanya was interesting; her subconscious must've been trying to send her a message. Nadine just didn't know what.

She threw off her covers, crossing to the window. Don't think about Hazel and Cha-Cha, she told herself as she looked into the gloom of night time. There were no stars here, glimmering like jewels—there was too much light pollution for that. So Nadine had to settle for looking at the dark clumps of clouds overhead and breathe in the scent of her room—all mothballs and dust, just like at the motel.

And of course, this guest bedroom smelling like her motel room made her think about the fact that all her belongings were still there, and that in turn made the pink and blue of her attacker's masks come to mind.

Pink dog, blue bear. Under those masks could be anyone. Hazel and Cha-Cha sounded like code-names. What if she unwittingly passed them on the street? At a restaurant or library? Maybe Five was right to tell her to lay low. Whoever these people were, they obviously weren't amateurs, they'd just made a simple mistake. The Commission... Nadine still didn't understand that completely. She had a feeling she would, eventually.

She really hoped she wouldn't.

⋆*✧･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ:

HAVEN: this chapter was literally 90% filler and i'm not even sorry... i wanted an excuse to write about camille tbh LMFAOO

anyway... five is annoying af BUT he's apparently trying to protect nadine?? and keep her alive??? hmm, there definitely aren't any ulterior motives for that at all. because we all know that five is a loving, caring person 😁

this is probably going to be the last update of 2020, which is reallyyyyy weird to think about. i remember last year, updating acatalepsy as my last update of 2019, and wishing everyone an amazing 2020... how naive i was. i had no idea what was coming.

thanks for reading <3