CHAPTER SIX
the 'fun' in 'funeral'

⋆*✧･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ:

RAIN WAS MEANT for funerals, Nadine thought, listening to the thunder rumbling in the distance as she made her way back into the courtyard where, not even an hour earlier, Number Five had appeared. Opening her fish umbrella (everyone else's umbrellas—except Klaus's—were black, fitting the somber mood, but it wasn't like Nadine had known she was going to be attending a funeral when she got here) and holding it over her head, Nadine looked around the courtyard, this time taking in all of the details she'd been too preoccupied to notice the first time. There was a statue of Ben Hargreeves, glazed with rainwater that dripped off his sculpted face like tears. Branches wove up the side of the house, and there was a garden of green bushes that she ran her hands over as she walked to the center of the courtyard.

She hadn't wanted to stay for the funeral at first, but after everything that had happened with Five, Nadine thought it was best to stick close. The boy, even though he was an asshole, was intriguing, and his tendency to give cryptic responses to genuine questions only fueled her curiosity. He was now wearing his Umbrella Academy uniform, presumably the only clothes his size he'd found at the house, and he strode out here like he'd been home this entire time. Nadine's eyes followed him as he did so, her mind still reeling. What were the odds that he'd come back on the day she arrived?

Luther clutched the urn that held the remains of Reginald Hargreeves in both hands. After learning that the man wasn't the person Nadine had always believed he was, she eyed it with newfound knowledge, wondering if she should be glad he'd passed away or not (which was a horrible thing to think about during a funeral. But she couldn't help it).

Everyone gathered here, including Pogo, and even Grace, the Hargreeves' robot mother that Nadine hadn't met yet. A pearl necklace sat on her throat and her hair was tucked into a bun. She stared around cluelessly, an ever-present smile on her face. "Did something happen?"

"Dad died," said Allison, her eyes narrowing in confusion. "Remember?"

Grace's smile faded. "Oh. Yes, of course."

"Is Mom okay?" Allison questioned the others.

Diego, who was currently being soaked by the rain (he hadn't brought an umbrella—probably to seem more 'masculine' or something. Nadine didn't see how holding something over your head made you a woman, but what did she know?), nodded. "Yeah, yeah, she's fine. She just needs to rest. You know, recharge." As he spoke, Klaus discreetly slipped a cigarette into his mouth.

Pogo limped over, using a cane to walk. "Whenever you're ready, dear boy," he told Luther, who took a moment to stare at the urn in his hand, his breath misting out in front of him, before stepping forward and lifting off the lid. He then proceeded to dump the contents unceremoniously onto the ground, where they landed in a pathetic little gray heap. Nadine stared down at them. The great Reginald Hargreeves, reduced to an ash pile on the ground.

Everyone stared at the lump of ashes for a moment before Luther admitted, "Probably would've been better with some wind."

"Does anyone wish to speak?" Pogo asked. Nadine kept quiet, knowing this wasn't her place (she was lucky to be at this funeral at all), instead looking around at the others. They all kept their lips sealed, making Pogo let out a sigh. "Very well. In all regards, Sir Reginald Hargreeves made me what I am today. For that alone, I shall forever be in his debt. He was my master... and my friend, and I shall miss him very much."

Pogo stared at the ground, looking like he was about to cry (did chimpanzees even cry?). Nadine resumed looking at the wet pile that Reginald Hargreeves had become, wondering if that was what she would turn into when she died. She took a step closer to Vanya almost instinctively, swallowing heavily before Pogo continued.

"He leaves behind a complicated legacy—"

Before Pogo could finish his speech, Diego interrupted him. "He was a monster." Klaus let out a laugh at that, blowing smoke into the air, and Diego continued, "He was a bad person and a worse father. The world's better off without him."

"Diego—" Allison tried.

"My name is Number Two. You know why? Because our father couldn't be bothered to give us actual names. He had Mom do it."

Nadine sucked in a breath. Apparently, Klaus wasn't the only one to dislike Reginald Hargreeves.

Grace tried to defuse the tension in the air, which was becoming thicker and thicker by the minute. "Would anyone like something to eat?"

"No, it's okay, Mom," Vanya replied softly.

"Oh, okay."

Diego stepped forward, his hair dripping with rain. Nadine noticed, for the first time, that there was a scar cutting across his temple, pale white and raking out to his ear. "Look, you wanna pay your respects? Go ahead. But at least be honest about the kind of man he was."

"You should stop talking now," said Luther in a low voice. If looks could kill, Diego Hargreeves would've been dead by the withering glare Luther was shooting at his brother. Diego met the stare and forced it back on his brother, cool and unnerved. Then he spoke.

"You know, you of all people should be on my side here, Number One."

"I am warning you," Luther growled. Diego didn't back down.

"After everything he did to you? He had to ship you a million miles away."

"Diego, stop talking."

"That's how much he couldn't stand the sight of you!" Diego jabbed a finger into Luther's chest, teeth bared, a feral animal. Fangs dripping with drool, eyes narrowed, preparing for the attack. He was a wolf, but Luther Hargreeves wasn't some defenceless deer, and Nadine knew this was about to get messy.

With a practiced agility that could only come from years of training, Luther knocked Diego's hand off of his chest and swung at him, his fist hitting nothing but air as Diego ducked under the blow. Luther swung again, and Diego leaned back this time, easily evading the strikes of his brother. Luther was a good fighter, but he fought more erratically, while Diego was more practiced. The two of them traded blows, dodging and parring, their strained grunts filling the air. In a matter of seconds, this funeral had turned into a brawl.

Nadine stepped forward, prepared to get in between these two boys, rolling her muscled shoulders forward, but Vanya quickly grabbed her arm, pulling her back to the group. "Don't bother," she said softly, although her eyes were wide. "There's no going in between them when they're like this."

Which left Nadine to simply watch the fight. Pogo attempted once to stop their catfight ("Boys, stop this at once!") but Diego and Luther either didn't hear him or didn't care, continuing to pound at each other, anger and malice glittering in their eyes. Nadine spotted Klaus attempting to shield Five from the combat, but the boy stared at him weirdly and swatted his protective arm away.

Luther got a blow in on Diego, sending the smaller man twisting towards the ground, and he let out a pained shout. After a moment of hunching over, attempting to regain his bearings, Diego stood back up, clenching his fists. "C'mon, big boy!" he taunted, as Luther swung another fist at him. He ducked easily, leaping over to the giant's back and slamming his hand down on it. As Luther doubled over and Diego pounded on his back, Nadine started seriously considering making an illusion to break the two up. But her head was still pounding, and as she raised the bandage covering her hand, she could see fresh blood leaking through.

"Stop it!" Vanya yelled, but it did no good. The two men continued to swap blows.

Klaus, cigarette dangling from his lips, pumped his fist. "Hit him! Hit him!"

Diego crouched again, eluding Luther's flailing arms, and hit him across the shoulder, pounding across his flesh. Nadine clenched her fists, uncomfortably reminded of the time she'd gotten shot, even though then hadn't involved so many ducks and blows—it was more screaming and running. She heaved in a deep breath and called out for them to stand down, but neither of them listened to her.

Pogo shook his head, disappointed in the brothers, and instead of trying to break up their fight, merely sighed and began to head back inside. Luther seized Diego by the collar and threw him to the ground, where he rolled expertly and clambered to his feet. Luther swung again, Diego ducked and kicked him in the leg; Luther recovered, and Diego tried to go for punching again.

This time, though, Luther caught the punch and grabbed Diego by the coat, holding him at arm's length. "Get off me!" Diego shouted, struggling to free himself from his brother's tight grip. He flailed about, trying to get another blow in, but Luther caught him again and hit him with a punch to the side of the head.

The two of them were panting now, and there was an exhilarated grin on Diego's face as he staggered away from Luther. Five, meanwhile, shook his head. "We don't have time for this," he said, before following in Pogo's footsteps and turning back towards the house, leaving Allison, Klaus, Vanya and Nadine still watching the fight with open mouths.

"Come here, big boy!" Diego teased, squaring his fists in front of Ben's statue. Luther let out a war cry, sprinting towards Diego, who leaped out of the way just in time. His wayward fist, instead of colliding with Diego's face, crashed right into the statue of Ben, knocking it from its pedestal. Almost in slow motion, Nadine watched the statue collapse, falling to the ground with a sort of twisted grace. When it hit the ground, Ben's head broke off, tumbling away from its body and leaving a headless statue.

"Oh..." Klaus winced.

"And there goes Ben's statue," Allison said, disappointment clear in her eyes. She turned, beginning to walk away, and it was so that only Vanya and Nadine noticed when Diego slipped one of his throwing knives out, preparing to throw it at his brother.

"Diego, no!" Vanya pleaded, at the same time Nadine shouted, "Don't!"

They were both too late. Diego threw the knife with expertise, and it spun through the air, slicing through Luther's coat and at least a centimetre of the skin on his arm. Luther gasped, clutching at the wound with oddly discoloured fingernails, breathing hard. After a moment, he stomped by the group and followed his siblings inside, evidently finished with all of the fighting.

Nadine winced. "Jésus. Quel couple d'idiots." Jesus. What a couple of idiots.

Vanya walked up to Diego, anger prevalent in her face. "You never know when to stop, do you?" she snapped.

Diego didn't apologize, or own up to his actions, or do anything a responsible human would do. Instead, he just leaned in, a strange smile on his face. "You got enough material for your sequel yet?"

Vanya didn't rise to the bait. "He was my father, too."

Nadine began to follow her inside, taking a moment to glare at Diego. "Boys," she hissed.

Diego's eyes followed her. "Had enough of this family yet, French Girl?"

Her response was to stick her middle finger up at him. And, because the buzzing in her forehead was starting again, her obscene gesture was accompanied by another set of spiders, which sat on her non-bleeding hand. Diego flinched at that, and Nadine called, "Guess you've still got that arachnophobia, Number Two."

Then she was following Vanya inside, a strange sort of anger broiling at the pit of her stomach.

THE ANGER BUBBLING in Nadine's abdomen now was akin to the fury she'd felt when Camille broke up with her. That day, her anger had burnt in her eyelids as tears threatening to let loose, and her hands had curled into taut fists and hung by her sides. She'd never been one to cry—her sadness more often than not manifested itself into anger—which was why when Camille sat her down in that café three months ago, confessing that she'd lost feelings, the indignation had been accompanied by embarrassment.

Camille was Iranian, and she was gorgeous. She'd met Nadine online, and they'd texted nearly every day for a month before deciding to meet in person. They were the sun and the moon; perfectly matched, and Nadine found that waking up every day was easier when she knew that Camille would insert herself in it. Because Camille Lambert simply radiated. She was the bright light illuminating Nadine's dark days, a raft in the middle of a churning sea, a branch that kept Nadine from tumbling off a cliff. Nadine had had other girlfriends before—there was Colette at age thirteen, swapping cherry kisses in her backyard, Manon at seventeen, who took Nadine on park picnics and smelled like vanilla, and Mirabelle at twenty-two, who danced with her under the stars—but never ones she felt such a deep adoration for. She'd thought they might end up getting married.

Then Camille had broken up with her, and it was like Nadine's world had come crashing down around her. They had been together for three years, had gone to aquariums and old-fashioned diners and museums and even to the Eiffel Tower on one memorable occasion. They were two planets orbiting around each other, a magnet and a metal, and now they were torn apart.

It had been three months, and Nadine still didn't understand what she'd done wrong, why Camille had decided to end things. But it had happened, and now Nadine Vidal was lost in the dark. Drowning in the ocean. Tumbling off the edge of a cliff.

She found herself wandering the Umbrella Academy almost on autopilot, clenching and un-clenching her fists. She knew she'd been wrong to come bursting in here during preparations for a funeral, but Diego's rejection still stung her like a slap. This was her idol she was talking about, and even though it had been years since she'd obsessively tracked every interview and magazine article about the Umbrella Academy, she knew that the thirteen-year-old girl that still lived in her chest was wilting like an overwatered flower.

She passed bedroom after bedroom, walls plastered with self-defence tips, and a giant, spiral staircase with the walls lined with paintings. Her head started buzzing again as her mind inadvertently wandered to an image of a wilting rose, but, remembering Vanya's advice, instead of immediately letting it loose, peeling it from her mind like it was a sticker, Nadine swallowed and took deep breaths, trying to coax the image back into her. Even though her skull felt like it was full of a swarm of bees, and her eyes were still burning with that unnatural anger, after a couple of seconds, Nadine could feel the rose fade away.

She opened her eyes, relief coursing through her like water through a stream. She'd done it. It really had been as easy as taking breaths. Which made her feel a little stupid, but she shoved that feeling down, so that it sank right beside her rose. Then she took another step forward just as Vanya came out of another room, and nearly crashed right into her.

She halted in her tracks. "Ah! Sorry." Then, after realizing her mistake, corrected herself. "I mean... hello, Vanya. What's... up?"

Vanya let out a sigh, adjusting the collar of her jacket. "I'm leaving. I just called a cab."

"What? Why?"

"Because I'm not welcome here. Diego doesn't think so, and I know the others don't, as well. So I'm going to head home." She looked Nadine over. "You should go, too."

"I know," said Nadine, unconsciously winding her hands through her heap of blonde hair. "I was just about to. I really fucked up, thinking I could come here during this whole... situation."

"Hey." Vanya rested a hand on Nadine's shoulder. "It's okay. You're fine. Super cool, even. And I think Klaus likes you, at least. And... I like you."

Nadine smiled at that, then said, "You know, your... what's the word? Your advises worked."

"Advice," Vanya corrected. "And really?"

"Yes. It did. You really helped me, Vanya. So thank you for that. I'm sure I'll still mess up sometimes, but at least I know what to do now. But..." Nadine bit her lip so hard she almost drew blood and took a moment to contemplate this hasty decision. Then she just went for it. "If I do end up messing again, will I at least have someone to call? I know I might not be in America by that time, but it'd be really nice to know I have a friend."

"You want my number?"

"Yes! For... business purposes."

Vanya laughed. "Sure, okay. I'll give it to you. Give me your phone."

Nadine did, and Vanya added her number into her contacts. Nadine watched her do so, her breathing strangely uneven, before adding her own to Vanya's phone. Then Vanya slipped her phone back into her pocket for her and headed up to the front door. "Text me if you need anything," she said, and then Pogo came out to talk to her, and Nadine slipped away to call for her own cab.

But then she just ended up looking at Vanya's number in her phone. Tracing her fingers over the numbers. Changing the contact name to Vanya Hargreeves.

For business purposes her ass.

⋆*✧･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ:

#HAVEN: nadine really decided to shoot her shot with vanya... as she should 😌

(i know they didn't have cellphones in the show, but i added them in this fic because it made sense, and also provided vanya and nadine with a way to communicate lmfaoo)

i know this chapter was kind of boring, but i promise you, the next one won't be!! nadine is going to meddle in the hargreeves' business once again, and insert herself into a fight she definitely shouldn't!! 

just a warning, nadine gets into a LOT of fights in this book, and she's wrong like 90% of the time. don't think i'm condoning how much of an asshole she is, because i'm honestly not. 

also, i can't believe i have to say this, but don't plagiarize my work, please :) while i obviously only post fanfiction on here, it does NOT give you the right to copy my work lmfaoo (this is referring to my stranger things fic, not this one, but i just wanted to make a note).

thanks for reading!