(Dedicated to janep_writes )

Listen to— I'm Not Her

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Her gaze lingers on the bold letters written on the cigarette packet for a few seconds before she rolls her eyes to herself and grabs another stick. Placing it between her teeth, Marinette lifts the red lighter and flicks it a couple times, until the tip of the cigarette lights up.

Taking one deep drag, she takes the cigarette in her fingers, and looks around as she blew out the heavy smoke.

Where is Adrien?

The park grounds are empty, deserted, as every single person stayed inside in such a weather, no one taking a risk to get drenched in the light drizzle from time to time. She would have preferred it too, if he hadn't texted her to wait in the park after dinner. He had to say something about that.

Hearing footsteps on the crunch of autumn leaves, Marinette spins around, impatience colouring her face. “Where were you? I've been waiting for ten minutes!”

He reaches her quickly. “I'm sorry. So sorry. I got held up by Audrey and she—”

Clouds rumble overhead, making both of their eyes to shift up to the sky. The different shades of grey clash with each other, the darker clouds fighting for dominance with the lighter ones. Bright streaks of lightening occasionally shoots through the blackness, illuminating the sky for only a second or two.

Feeling a little pacified, Marinette wave him off impatiently, “It's okay. What was the thing you wanted to tell me?”

Adrien steps closer. “When I talked with you that last night,” he's talking about his birthday five years ago, “I knew that something was wrong. I could tell that you were hurt, when I thought I was the one who was supposed to be hurt. But I was so upset about you not coming to the party that it took me weeks to put the pieces together.”

She draws back. Why should he be the hurt one? He’d excluded her.

There’s an excruciating pause as his fingers tense and flex. “Nathalie lied. I didn’t know about the party until I got home and a crowd of people jumped out and yelled ‘surprise.’ Nathalie told me that she’d invited you, and that you’d turned her down. I believed her. It wasn’t until later that I realized you were hurt because she hadn’t.”

Anger swells inside of Marinette, and she stomps on the cigarette with as much vigour as she could muster. “Why would she do that?”

He looks ashamed, and they walk. “She dodged the question.”

A silence, as they both relive the same past.

Blowing into her palms, Marinette says slowly, “You know, when I-I went there, Lila told me that you would never invite a low-life like me to your party. And I—”

“I'm sorry.”

“No! Don't be.” She laughs at herself, “I knew that Lila was just saying that to make me feel bad, anyways. But the point is I, being the gullible person I was, cried myself to sleep that night. You got your girlfriend, you got all your high-end buddies, but me, I mean, I was replaceable.”

“Or so I thought,” she adds, rolling her eyes at the sky.

Adrien stares at his hands. “Mari, you were the only person I wanted there that night. I was crazy about you, but I didn’t know what to do. It was paralyzing. There were so many times when I wanted to take your hand, but . . . I couldn’t. That one small move felt impossible. Because that would mean, I was betraying. . . her. ”

Kagami's name hangs heavily in the air.

Now she's staring at her hands, too. “I would have let you take it.”

“I know.” His voice cracks.

“I had a present for you and everything.”

“I’m sure I would have loved it. Whatever it was.” He sounds heartbroken, and the sound breaks hers. “I had something for you, too.”

“On your birthday?” That’s so like him. There’s another sharp pain in her chest.

“I made this mechanism that could run between our windows, when we lived together and I thought we could use it to send each other letters or gifts. Or whatever. It sounds stupid now, I know. Something a little kid would think up.”

‘No. It doesn’t sound stupid,’  Marinette thinks.

“It was supposed to be ready on your birthday, but I wanted it to be perfect. At least, that’s what I kept telling myself. But I was stalling. I blew it. I messed up everything.”

Marinette kicks a stone chip. “Nathalie messed up everything.”

“No. She never would have been a problem if I’d told you how I felt. But I didn’t. I couldn’t tell you.” His body twists in misery. “I thought you’d give up on me. And I kept hoping that you like me.”

He waits for Marinette to look at him. Somehow, she does. She's overwhelmed by sadness and confusion.

“I’ll only say this once more. Clearly, so there’s no chance of misinterpretation.” His eyes darken into herd. “I like you. I’ve always liked you. It would be wrong for me to come back into your life and act otherwise.”

She's crying now. “Adrien. . . You have a girlfriend.”

“I know.”

It surprises her, and Marinette give a choked laugh. He produces a napkin from god-know-where and hands it to her. “I’m sorry,” he says. “Was it wrong for me to say that?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

“No.”

They're able to laugh as she wipes away her mascaraed tears. The distance between them feels too close, too far, too close.

Her mind throbs. I’ve always liked you. What would her life have been like had she known this unquestionably?

He still would have a girlfriend.

I’ve always liked you, I’ve always liked you, I’ve always liked you.

But maybe he would have broken up with Kagami if he knew that she liked him too. Maybe they'd even be together now. Or maybe she would have lost interest. Is she only fixated on Adrien because of their traumatic history? Because he was her first crush? Or does something about him transcend that?

Despite this complication—knowing he liked her then, and knowing he never purposefully hurt her—as they walk through the park, the smoky haze between them lifts. The air is tender but clear.

“We’re okay,” Marinette whispers. “Aren’t we?”

“It’s all I want,” he says.

Her heart races. Does that mean he wants to be friends again? Or is she what he wants? What's all that wanting connotes?

“So. . . When are you leaving?”

She blinks. “Huh?”

“You're returning to LA, right? For your brand?”

“Yeah. I'm moving back on the 29th.”

His green eyes glint. “So soon? I thought maybe you'd—”

“What?” When he doesn’t reply, Marinette glances up from the cobblestone. His gaze is frozen on a figure that has been standing at the exit of the park.

Kagami.

She’s looking around the park with a slight frown, but then she turns and notices Adrien. Her entire being lights up.

Kagami breaks into a run and launches herself into his arms. They kiss, and she laces her fingers through his hair. His beautiful, perfect hair.

Marinette's stomach drops, and she turns from the spectacle.

They break apart, and she starts talking. Her speech is surprisingly rapid, which had definitely changed since Marinette had last saw her.

“I know we weren’t gonna see each other tonight, but I was in the neighborhood and thought you might want to go to that club I was telling you about. You know, the one Matthieu recommended? But you weren’t there, so I found and I’ve been talking to her for the last hour, and where were you? I called your cell three times but it went straight to voice mail.”

Adrien looks disoriented. “Er. Kagami. Marinette's here with me. Thought fresh air would be good—”

To her amazement, Kagami breaks into an ear-to-ear smile. “Marinette! Didn't see you for what? Four. . . Five years? How was the dinner?”

Adrien describes their evening while Marinette contemplates this strange development. Kagami had definitely changed. She doesn’t seem alarmed that the bluenette spent the last three hours in the company of her very attractive boyfriend. Alone.

Must be nice to have that kind of confidence. Well, she was always confident, but she's grown a lot too. She goes to clubs! That's one of the places the old Kagami would have never gone to.

“Okay, babe.” She cuts him off. “You can tell me the rest later. You ready to go?”

Did he say he’d go with her? Marinette doen’t remember, but he nods his head. “Yeah. Yeah, let me grab my, er—” He glances at his classmate, and then towards his feet.

“What? You’re already dressed to go out. You look great. C’mon.” She tugs his arm, linking it to hers. “It was nice to meet you here, Marinette. Let's catch up someday, yeah?”

The said girl finds her voice. “Yeah. Nice to meet you, too. Bye!” She turns to Adrien, but he won’t look at her properly. Fine. Whatever.

He doesn’t react. Okay, time to go. Marinette bolts away. But, she can’t help but glance back. Adrien and Kagami are striding into the darkness, arms stil linked, her mouth stil chattering.

As she pauses there, Adrien's head turns back to her. Just for a moment.

*

     Well, that happened. Double updates today. So, what do you think about the story so far? Do you like the new Kagami? Or The Birthday Incident? Don't worry, there's more Unresolved Issues and Relationship Drama. XD

Please vote and comment. I would love to know if you guys like this.
- Upama ♥