I sighed as I changed the channel on the TV. Since when did I lose interest in so many shows? I turned the TV off. Josh never really let me watch the TV in the common room. If I was honest, I didn't know a lot about what movies were showing or were going to be coming out. It was mostly due to him, too.

Josh.

I said I hated him.

His eyes.

It was only last night that all of that happened, and I had known something like this was bound to happen one day. I thought I'd been more mentally prepared than this. I thought I'd be able to handle losing him.

Then there was what happened with the officer.

I covered my face with my hands. I practically crushed the poor guy. On top of that, I'm sure I got snot all over the shoulder of his uniform. When I calmed down enough to think about where I was, what I was doing, and who it was, I had released him and apologized profusely. I was so embarrassed.

Honestly, I didn't want to see him ever again.

I checked the time on my phone. About time for lunch. I sighed and sat my phone on the back of the sofa. I wasn't hungry, but I knew I should eat. It was one of the most basic things as far as self-care went.

As I got up, someone knocked on the door. Confused but wary, I padded over silently to look out the peephole. I sucked in a breath as I recognized Officer Williams. I smoothed down my hair and made sure the chain was connected. With a final deep breath, I opened the door. "Can I help you, officer?"

He smiled at me. "I'm just following up and checking to make sure you're okay."

I vaguely remembered him saying he'd stop by, but I didn't think he was serious. "Really?"

He nodded. "May I come in, ma'am?"

I undid the chain and let him step past me. "Are you on duty right now?"

He glanced down at his uniform. "Uh, yes." I could hear the lie in his voice and it put me on edge. He noticed and flashed me a reassuring smile. "I really do work today, don't worry."

I closed the door, but I left it unlocked. "Go ahead and have a seat. Can I get you some coffee or some water? I also have some snacks."

"Water is fine," he said as he sat at the table. "I saw in your police report that you've been going through a lot lately."

I fumbled with the empty glass in my hand, thankful it was made of plastic. "You could say that," I said, my voice shaking slightly. I felt his eyes on me, but when I turned around he was actually looking at his hat he'd sat on the table.

"Thank you," he said as he took the water from me. He sipped at it, glancing at me. "How are you doing? Last night was pretty hard on you."

I wished I had something to do with my hands. I was being put on the spot. "Officer Williams, let me be honest. I don't know why you're asking these questions or what you're hoping to find out."

He nodded. "That's fair. Well, I'm mainly checking up on your mental health. For most people, what went down would be a little traumatic. I'm making sure you're not going to be a threat to yourself or others."

I sighed. "I see where you're coming from, but surely 'therapist' isn't in your job description."

He raised an eyebrow and picked up his cap, pointing at it. "In this profession, ma'am, I wear many hats and this is just one." I couldn't help myself – I actually snorted. It wasn't quite a laugh, but it seemed to be enough to put us both at ease. Though, it was hard after that to not imagine a room full of various hats and him wearing them. "Besides, I've always been a good listener if you just need to vent."

I smiled at him. "Thank you for the offer, sir. Just so you know, I'm not all that talkative about this stuff. I more or less just keep it to myself instead of troubling people."

He sat back and looked intently at me. I shifted under his gaze. "Miss Chandler, I understand how you may think that's the easiest route, but I've seen too many cases – even in my own life – where that led only to hurting yourself even more in the long run. Sharing your pain helps you to ease the burden and hold they have on your heart. It helps to heal the wounds. Sometimes telling a stranger is easier than telling the people closest to you."

I stared down at the table. It was true that it was hard to tell Kolleen because I knew she would just feel sorry for me and probably tell me I should have done something sooner. She wasn't wrong in feeling that way or saying those things, but maybe there was some truth to his words. "Josh and I had been together since high school. We got together in our senior year, but we'd known each other for a long time before then. It was already an open secret that we liked each other, but we were actually wary of a relationship that close to graduation."

"Any reason besides college?"

I shook my head. "Not a one. We were pretty sure we'd stick it out in the end, so finally, a month or so into the school year, we threw caution to the wind and started dating. Our parents were totally on board and-" I stopped. Our parents. I groaned and banged my head on the table. I hadn't heard from mine or his, but I suddenly knew I would have to talk to my parents at some point.

"Whoa. Are you okay there?"

I lifted my head. "Yeah. I just remembered something I have to do. That's all. It's gonna be a pain." I shook my head and sighed. "Anyway, our parents were ecstatic and they made all sorts of plans about our wedding and stuff for us."

"Did you feel pressured to stay with him because of that?"

"A little, I suppose. I didn't want to disappoint them. At least, at the time. Later on, it had more to do with him personally."

Officer Williams nodded. "Okay." He glanced at his watch. "Oh! I'm so sorry, I have to go for now. I'll be back to talk some more another time if you'd like?" He looked at me expectantly.

I couldn't explain it or even pinpoint what it was, but there was something about him that made me feel both on edge and at ease at the same time. I wanted to see him again, but I wanted him to talk instead. I wasn't completely comfortable talking about Josh, but I probably never would. "I'd like." I smiled at him.

He returned it. "Well, I'll stop by another time. This Saturday okay?"

"Yeah." I nodded. "See you Saturday." We both stood and I showed him out.

Once the door was closed, I couldn't help the smile that lingered. It had been a while since I had the freedom to make any friends and not need to worry what Josh was going to do. I was so happy and even a little excited. It had been so long since I didn't need to be afraid of strangers.

When Kolleen got home, I was still smiling. "What happened to you?" she asked as she dropped her bag on the table.

"Remember that officer from last night?"

"Yeah."

"He was here earlier."

"Why?" She opened the fridge and rummaged around.

I turned to watch over the back of the sofa. "He was worried about me so he stopped by to check how I was."

"Isn't that a little bit outside his job description?" She leaned on the counter, opening a can of soda. "I mean, he's just a police officer that does patrols."

I shrugged. "Well, he's still really nice and a good listener." I smiled at her.

Her eyes widened. "You like him, don't you?"

I fake gagged. "No, not a chance. He's just a nice guy that might turn out to be a good friend."

"Yeah. Real good. Super good." She grinned at me.

I rolled my eyes. "Think about when Josh gets out of jail. What then? Having a police friend would be a big help."

Kolleen lost her smile and came over to the couch. "You're that scared of him, huh?" She sighed with a shake of her head. "Jes, everything will be fine. You shouldn't worry too much about it. After all, he's on his way to a few years behind bars. You'll be gone by the time he gets out."

"Still. Kol, you don't know him like I do. You weren't the one who's been with him for the last two years. I wish you didn't still see him as that middle school boy we met way back then."

She frowned at me. "Who said I still see him as a middle school kid? I see him as the college drop-out he is now."

I shook my head. "Forget I said anything about it. The point is," I said, raising my voice, cutting her off, "he won't let things be. He's not going to forget about me that easily. I wish he would, but he's not going to. He was obsessed."

She watched me closely for a long moment before sighing. "Wanna help me with my hair tonight?"

"Sure," I said, relieved she was letting it drop.

---

I jumped when I heard someone knock on the front door. "Coming," I said. I glanced at Kolleen and she just smiled at me, shaking her head. I opened the door and Officer Williams smiled at me. He wasn't in uniform, which felt weird. "Come on in," I said, stepping aside.

"Thanks," he said. He nodded at Kolleen. "Hello. I don't think we've met." He walked over. "I'm Devin Williams." He held out a hand and she shook it.

"I'm Kolleen Peters. Nice to meet you."

"Likewise." He looked at me.

"Sit anywhere you'd like, Officer Williams."

"Oh, I'm not on duty today. Just call me Devin. Or Dev. Whichever works for you."

"Devin is fine. Um, want anything to eat or drink?"

"Nah, I'm good. Thanks, though." He sat on the sofa, his back stiff. His leg kept bouncing as he glanced at Kolleen.

Slightly amused, I sat next to him. "So, how long have you been on the force?"

"Since I was 22, so just a little over a year now."

He was 23, then. About the right age for Kolleen. I nodded. "You like it?"

"Yep." He smiled at me. "I meet interesting people sometimes, and then I help a lot of people that need it. When I can help someone, that makes my entire job worth it."

It was admirable that he felt that way, honestly. "Nice." The only issue I took with it was that I wasn't sure how to respond to that. It had been so long since I talked to virtual strangers like this that I had mostly forgotten how. How do you get to know someone? How do you become friends with them? Do you hang out? Talk? What do you talk about? Where do you go? It had been so long since I had made friends and since Josh took me anywhere on a date that I wasn't sure what was a date spot and where you brought friends.

Kolleen didn't count because she was a girl and I lived with her. We went to the store to buy toilet paper and shampoo. I couldn't ask Devin to go buy those things with me.

"Um, Jes?" I whipped my gaze over to Kolleen. Her brows had drawn together. "Are you okay?"

"Huh?" I realized how hot my face felt and I sat up straighter. "Oh, yes, I'm fine. Would you like some water? I'm getting some water." I stood and hurried into the kitchen. Maybe going out somewhere was a bad idea. I only knew where I went sometimes with Kolleen. Where did you take a guy friend? Hardware store? Did he even like tools?

I jumped when I felt cold water running over my fingers. My glass was overflowing. I rushed to shut the water off and pour some out. I grabbed a paper towel to dry off the dripping glass. I was a mess. Why did we have to go anywhere? But what would the neighbors think of a guy being in the apartment with just the two of us girls? Was that even something they'd think about?

Wait. We were the only ones on this floor. The landlord had only just begun renting out the apartments below us. No one had moved in just yet, even. We were literally the only people in here today. I rubbed my forehead as I sipped the water.

Why was I such a wreck? I didn't remember being so socially inept. I used to be able to make friends easily. In fact, I made friends without really thinking about it. Or at least, I used to be friendly with the kids in my class. If something happened and my friends were busy, I was on good enough terms with all of my classmates that I always had weekend plans no matter what.

I couldn't admit that, though. I refused. This was something I could do. I just needed to organize my thoughts. That's all.

I could do this.

With one more sip of water, I walked back to the couch. "Anyone want to go catch a movie?" There. An option that was good for a group.

"I have too much homework," Kolleen said. "But you can go with her, Devin."

I blushed. I hadn't considered that she'd turn me down. "Oh," I said.

Devin shrugged and stood. "If you want to go, there was one I wanted to see. I actually wanted to ask if you wanted to go, but you beat me to it." He smiled at me.

Why did he put me at ease so well? I smiled back. "Sure."