"Don't leave campus."

That was what Josh told me.

"Why not?" I asked him.

"Just don't."

That was it.

That was all the reason he gave me.

"How long can I not leave?"

"Until I say."

"What if I need to get something?"

"Kolleen can get it for you."

"But-"

"No buts. You're not leaving campus. End of discussion."

It felt like history was repeating itself.

"Only go to your home, campus, and the store up the road," Devin told me.

I didn't ask why.

I didn't ask for how long.

I didn't want to hear him tell me it's because he says so.

My heart wouldn't be able to take it.

I wanted to believe he was different. I wanted to believe he was a good person. He'd never given me a reason to doubt he really was who I thought until that night.

I was so wrong about Josh. I thought he was a good person. Could I really trust myself this time? Would I make a good decision this time around? Could I really believe that?

Kolleen had waited up for me and tried to ask how the date went since I was two hours late. I couldn't even answer her. I just trudged to my room in silence. The couch squeaked and the floor creaked at she came over to me. I just ignored her as I opened my door.

"Kolleen," I said, turning to her once I was inside. "Only go here, school, and the store up the road."

Her brow furrowed. "Why?"

"Devin said so." I closed and locked my door. Kolleen knocked on my door and demanded more of an explanation, but I just flopped face-first on my bed and buried my face in my pillow.

---

Slowly, a week passed. I was at a loss by the end. Devin had texted me every morning and I gave him generic answers. We didn't meet up at all. Neither of us made a move. I wasn't sure I wanted to be with him in person. What if things went further than this? I couldn't handle that.

As a second week began, he asked me to meet him at our usual place but earlier in the evening. I sent a reply saying I would.

How would it go this time? Would I get more restrictions? I knew there was only one way I was going to find out.

I dressed up like I had last time, and got to the place on time. I sat at our usual table. At the time he said he'd be there, he showed up.

He wasn't wearing his uniform, which I thought was odd. Our eyes met as he walked over to my table. "I want to apologize," he said as he sat. Apologize? That didn't mean much to me anymore. Whenever I was told that, the person kept right on doing whatever they said they were sorry for. They were empty words. "I wish I could tell you why I said what I did last time, but I can't right now."

"That's fine." I forced what I was sure looked like a real smile. After all, I'd had a lot of practice. "Don't worry about it."

He studied me for a long moment before nodding once. I could tell from the small gesture that he was unsure if I was telling the truth, but I was grateful he was letting it go. Other than that, our date went well. We fell back into our old routine and things felt normal. At the end I was beginning to wonder if maybe he did have a legit reason for confining me. I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.

We got up together and walked to the door. Since it wasn't very late, I began to walk away, thinking I was going to walk back to my apartment. "Where are you going?" he asked.

I stopped and looked at him. "I was just going back."

He gestured at his car which, surprisingly, wasn't the police cruiser. "I'll give you a lift." His eyes went to a spot over my shoulder.

"That's okay. I mean, it's not-" He grabbed my forearm and I froze. His eyes widened and he released me immediately. "I'm walking." I turned away and started heading home.

"Wait, Jes!" I heard him following me so I walked a little faster. "Jes, I want to explain everything to you but I need time."

I shook my head. "I'm giving you time. I'm giving you all the time in the world."

"If you really are, stop and look at me."

I stopped and slowly faced him. "Happy?" I crossed my arms and turned to leave.

He grabbed my shoulder and forced me to face him. "Please let me give you a ride home. It's dangerous for you to walk home at night alone."

"I'm not incompetent."

"I never said you were. Please, Jessie, let me give you a ride."

I frowned. "Fine." I headed towards his car. "Give me a ride if you're that worried."

It took a moment, but I heard him follow me. We both got in and began our silent journey. I couldn't deny he was trying to control me and Kolleen, but his worry seemed genuine. I was at a loss. If he was worried about me, why would he tell me that? He knew my past. He knew I'd been through this kind of thing before.

"Give me two weeks," he said as he stopped in front of my building.

"For?"

"I'll explain in two weeks."

I looked at him. He was staring straight ahead, jaw clenched. "Tell me in two weeks." I opened my door. "I'll be waiting for you." I got out and made my way inside. He was acting strange. Since when did he not even look at me?

Kolleen was waiting impatiently for me when I got upstairs. Instead of going to my room, I plopped down next to her on the couch. "Well?" she asked.

Strangely, it felt like my heart was slowly breaking. It physically hurt. "He said to give him two weeks and he'll explain it to me."

Kolleen put an arm around me and I felt tears well up. "Maybe it has something to do with his job. Like an undercover thing."

I shook my head. "I have no idea." I turned to her. "Am I making a mistake again? Is this going to end up being like Josh all over again?" By the time I'd asked the second question, I was holding in sobs. Tears had soaked my face. "I don't want to go through anything else. I want to be happy." I couldn't hold them anymore – my shoulders began to shake as the sobs released themselves. Kolleen hugged me and I cried into her shoulder.

Was being happy too much to ask for? I'd finally stopped feeling sorry for myself and felt like I could move on with my life. I was finally Jessie instead of "the girl who was beaten" or "the girl with a jailbird for a boyfriend". It had happened slowly and I had only just noticed it. Rumors were slowly dying down and I was becoming normal again.

I was blending back in with the shadows.

Maybe that was a bad thing. In high school, I was the center of attention. Compared to that, I'd fallen pretty far. Still, I would take it. I'd rather be the invisible girl no one remembers in ten years than be the center of attention for something humiliating.

Kolleen hugged me and rubbed my back until the sobs died down. "Do you love him, Jessie?"

That was the million-dollar question for me. I had been fighting it and ignoring it. Yet, this feeling left me with only one answer: "Yes."

She sighed. "I don't think he'd do the same as Josh. He has to have a reason he asked this of the both of us. I don't know what it is, but I'm sure there has to be. It's not like him to do this."

Was it not? He'd never gave me a reason to think it would, yet there was no denying that I didn't really know him. I pulled away and wiped my face. "Do you think I'm stupid?" I asked in a small voice.

Kolleen's eyebrows shot up. "Of course not, Jes. I think you're smart and brave and a bunch of other stuff - but not stupid. You can be blinded sometimes, but that only means you want to see the best in people and situations."

"But I feel stupid," I said quietly.

"Oh, Jes," Kolleen said with a sigh as she gave me a quick hug. "I'm sure it's not what you're thinking. It's probably something related to his job."

I nodded, but I doubted. I couldn't let go of my suspicions. It made me feel a little guilty, but still. Kolleen made a valid point and I knew it. She was looking at things with a much more level head than I was.

Two weeks. Just two more weeks and I would get answers.

---

I hadn't really fallen in love that felt like this before. Now that I'd acknowledged how I felt, I realized this feeling had much more to it than any time before. Some may say I was too attached to it. Some may even go so far as to say that I was setting my heart on an uncertain thing.

They were probably right.

For those two weeks, it felt very uncertain. I was doing my very best to keep my thoughts and feelings at bay. After everything he'd done for me, Devin deserved the benefit of the doubt. I wanted to believe that as much as Kolleen did.

After the time was up, I came home first to find Devin standing outside the apartment door. I was so surprised that I stopped at the top of the stairs. He looked up when I did and gave me a small smile and wave. I hurried over to him. "What are you doing here?" I asked, immediately regretting the tone that was bordering on hostile.

He fiddled with his fingers. "I figured we could have that talk right about now."

I opened the door and gestured for him to go in first. Once we were comfortably seated at the table, he gave me a smile. "I got an early promotion to detective," he said proudly. "I was supposed to take the test in six months but they had an opening and I passed with flying colors."

"Congratulations," I said. I really was happy for him, but, at the same time, I was confused as to how this had anything to do with what was going on.

He hung his head. "I've been working my first assignment. It was an undercover thing and I was getting a little on-the-job training these last few weeks or so. That's why I'd asked you to not really go anywhere. I couldn't tell you why at the time. I was so scared of messing up my first case that I got a little carried away with myself. I probably shouldn't have asked that of you. I didn't think you'd react that strongly to my request."

A job? He put me through that for a job? I narrowed my eyes as I felt the anger rise up. "Devin. You were at the trial. You heard everything that Josh put me through. Why would you do that to me?"

"I really didn't think it would be too much. I mean, me and that guy are different, and so was what we did. I asked you to do something that gave you much more freedom than what he demanded of you. I don't even see how you could compare us."

"Easy. I don't really know you that well. How could I know your motives behind it? The only thing I've ever known is Josh! He was my first and only boyfriend! I haven't had any male friends since we first started dating, so I have a hard time figuring out what you're thinking. Besides that, you're not like any guy I've ever known! You keep telling me about someone you know who's been abused. What about her? What if some guy showed up and began to treat her in a similar way but with different intentions? Would she be able to know the difference?"

"Jessie, I told you. I'll tell you anything you want to know about me if you just ask."

"How do I know what to ask? Just tell me. I want to know you, Devin. I want you to tell me everything without me needing to ask."

"I don't know where to even begin without you asking! What would you like to know about first? My childhood? My teens? My college days? What I had for breakfast?"

My bottom lip was beginning to tremble. The tears I'd been holding back wouldn't stay there for much longer. "We're getting sidetracked from the main issue here! You did something controlling and my traumatized mind can't tell the difference between that and Josh!"

"But we're nothing alike! He was controlling! I wasn't!"

"The gun against my head may not be loaded but I don't know that, you idiot!" I all but screamed.

He froze, shocked, and then sagged in his chair. The silence that followed was tense. I regretted saying the last part, and I regretted shouting like that. How did this turn into a heated argument? That wasn't my intention from the very beginning.

"You're right," he said in a small, sad voice.