"Hey."

Jeongguk pointedly ignores Lalisa's eyes as he enters the living room. "Hey," he replies, setting down his bag at the kitchen counter. He's still pissed from yesterday's discoveries and wanted nothing more but to drown himself under true crime documentaries.

Lalisa lowers down the TV volume. "Are you okay?"

He shrugs while opening one of the cupboards. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know... I just, I figured out when you went out with Hobi today you might be feeling--"

"Uncomfortable?" He scoffs when he sees Lisa nodding slowly. "Lali, Hoseok and I broke up two years ago. We're way past that stage if you're wondering."

"I know, but--"

He takes out the box of Frosties from the fridge and opens it. "Plus, he's making me rethink my decision in joining the dance team. Jimin's proposal got me thinking."

She beams. "That's great! He's an amazing leader, but the thing is--"

"Is?"

Her smile drops and she's suddenly avoiding his gaze. "Are you guys... um..." she purses her lips, and then continues, "are you planning on getting back together?"

Holy fuck, he almost chokes on a fucking Frostie. "What?"

Lalisa's face morphs into panic. "I'm sorry for asking, but I just thought since--"

"No. We aren't." He coughs his lungs out, completely missing the look of relief in his roommate's face. "We're just friends, unlike you and Jimin."

"What? What does Jimin have to do with any of this?"

"Oh, I don't know, maybe the fact that you guys are really loud on Twitter as if I didn't just confess my feelings for you the other day." He tries to hide his anger, he really does, but just the mere thought of that adult baby sets something in him on fire. Fucking hell.

"Jeongguk," she says softly, as if she's calculating, "are you jealous?"

Damn you, Lisa. "Why wouldn't I be? I mean, I literally just saw you both on the library yesterday, when you were kissing him." He watches as her eyes widen like saucers. "All these things you're doing... I'm getting the impression that you're just leading me on."

"Gguk, I--"

"I've been wanting to spend time with you, you know, but you're always with him. The worst thing? You always tell me you're with a friend when in fact it's just Jimin you're with."

"Jeongguk, I swear, I'm not leading you on."

"Then why--"

She sighs. "Jimin is gay."

What the fuck? "What?"

Lisa leans back on the couch and rolls her eyes. "We've been doing all this shit show just to get his boyfriend jealous. It's petty, I know, but Jimin is a petty bitch so--"

Again, what the fuck? "Wait, what?"

"Oh, his boyfriend's Min Yoongi. Remember that last party? It was his--"

"Lalisa." Jeongguk paces back and forth in the kitchen like a mad man because what the fuck, "Jimin's gay?"

"Yeah, that's what I said. Are you deaf?" She waves him off and continues playing with the remote. "Anyway, Jimin wanted to--"

Everything makes so much sense now. "God, all this time I thought you and he were--"

"Together? No, Jesus, that would be disgusting," she says with a frown. "I did have a crush on him at first though, but when we had that dinner he told me the truth and--"

Realization dawns upon him. "So that's why you were so sad," he recalls, remembering the look on her face after they had their first dinner in the apartment. "He told you he wasn't interested."

"Yeah, I can't believe I used to thirst of that motherfucker." Jeongguk slowly walks over. "After it though, we were good. All my thirst tweets about it him were just purely out of entertainment; he hates it when I do that."

"I feel so stupid," he mutters, sitting next to her and she automatically curls up by his side by instinct.

"You are stupid, you fucking dumbo." She flicks his forehead, a small grunt leaving his lips. "Honestly, did you really look at Jimin and think, damn, this guy's straight as hell?"

"Well, not really. My gaydar is still as strong as ever, but I've always known he wasn't straight. I thought he was bi."

Lalisa cackles like a witch that he couldn't help but smile to himself. "Dude, that guy is as straight as a curve, don't even bother." She starts to play with the hem of his shirt. "He even said you were his type once."

He snorts. "Please tell him I'm off the market. My heart is currently taken."

Jeongguk quickly glances at Lalisa, who hides her face in her hands. "Oh my god, Gguk, you're so embarrassing. Is this how you're going to be for the rest of our relationship? Because if that's the case, I think I'd leave you asap."

"I'd like to see you try."

Lisa abruptly pinches one of his nipples so hard that he shrieks. "About that date," she reminds him as if she didn't just render his nipple useless, "do you want to have it right now?"

Jeongguk rubs the swollen nipple through his shirt, grimacing as his roommate was folding herself in half with laughter. "Yeah, I'd love to, but I have a dilemma right now, so--"

"Don't worry, I'll take care of everything. Just stay put," she tells him as she stands up. "I'm going to cook what I cook best: ramen."

Jesus Christ. "Okay but don't burn anything else, yeah? We're broke."

She waves him off. "I've got this covered. Chill."

Jeongguk still doesn't believe her though.

(Fast forward 10 minutes later: Lalisa is staring at the soggy ramen that fell on the kitchen floor and Jeongguk's still cradling his nipple.

Yep.)