I always ruin everything and I can never let myself be happy

This has been a problem for years

The happier it makes me, the quicker it ends

Nothing ever lasts

I don't know why I let myself believe this was different

It was never "I want to die"

It was always "I wish I never existed in the first place"

Living isn't really worth the pain and suffering

I'm back to not caring whether I'm alive or dead

Is it bad to not care?

Is it bad to not want to try?

I'm just so exhausted

I'm too tired to try

I'm fucked

I know I won't be able to stop thinking about you

I know I'll continue to love you

Why do I always do this to myself?

Why can't I let myself be happy?

Why did I have to wreck this too?

I still love you

I'll always love you

Try to find happiness, okay?

You deserve it

You deserve so fucking much

I adore you

I'll miss you

I hope to see you again in the future

Goodbye, my love