"Ready?" Arnav asked to which I nodded so he unlocked his car and headed inside while I joined him, he switched on the engine and started driving once I was buckled up.

Everything was so awkward I decided to turn on the radio, maybe the music would help me feel a little less awkward, as soon as I pressed the button to turn on the radio Arnav looked at me angrily.

"Don't touch anything in my car!" he warned as he looked back to the front.

"You know if you really hate me this much you shouldn't have volunteered to drop me home, I was fine taking a taxi, I dint ask you to drop me home so stop behaving like you're doing me a favor." I said angrily. Why wasn't it ever possible for the both of us to have just a normal conversation like normal people?

"You kicked my car when I parked it next to yours and you expect me to be silent when you're touching my car? Why are things supposed to be fair when you do it and when I do it, it becomes a big deal?" he looked at me, he was really pissed about something and he was getting it out on me, I mean this wasn't obviously the first time I was driving with him in his car, today he was just angrier than usual.

"Like I said, you volunteered to drop me, if you dint want me touching your car, you shouldn't have! I'll do whatever I wish to, I'll turn on the radio, I'll lower the window, stop me if you can." I said as I turned the radio on and turned the window down, he looked at me angrily, he opened his mouth to say something but no words came out, he looked ahead once again and drove silently while sat there looking outside the window.

"You know at times you make me really mad!" He said as he pulled over outside my house, he stepped down and headed to my side as he held the door open for me.

"Just get out of my car, I can't deal with you anymore." Damn, no wonder I couldn't ever have any normal conversation with this guy, we both hated each other so much.

"I dint ask you to deal with me, I did tell you to stay away from me if you don't remember well." I shouted, he was angry and now he was making me angry.

I turned around to get out of the car as my dress pulled up a bit revealing my thighs, I hated wearing it, it was so uncomfortable, as I stepped down, I turned to look at Arnav whose expressions had taken a one eighty degree turn, he was staring at my legs, and then he moved his gaze from them to my face finally gawking at me.

"Why are you wearing a dress today?" He asked as he scratched the back of his head, was he nervous or was he just scratching his head for no reason?

"What I wear is none of your business." I rolled my eyes at him and tried to walk away but he grabbed me by the arm and pushed me to the car, he placed both his hands on the side blocking me.

"You know you really drive me insane at times, why can't you just answer a simple question in a simple way, why do you have to become a feminist all over a sudden, I dint tell you not to wear a dress, I just asked you why you wore it today?" he looked at me like he wanted to kill me and kiss me at the same time, who was I kidding, why would he want to kiss me, and neither did I want to kiss him.

Jeez, put a hold on your thoughts Khushi!

"I don't know how to deal with you in a simple way Arnav, now let me go." I said as I tried to push him away but he wouldn't just let me go and I was trying my best not to start another fight with him, not in this dress at least.

"Why? Are you scared of the way I make you feel Khushi? Are you scared of the way you feel when I touch you like this?" he said as he grabbed my waist and pulled me closer as I crashed on his chest.

"Arnav." I said feeling like I had lost my voice, why did I always feel this way around him? Why was it that I felt like I hated him but when he touched me like this all that hatred seemed to fade away? Why was all this do damn confusing?

"Look at you, you can't even speak when I touch you." He laughed and that really did piss me off.

"Get off me." I said as I pushed him away angrily and tried to walk away but he got hold of my hand once again and pulled me back, he pushed me back to the car and looked into my eyes.

He cupped my face and leaned closer to me, I was so angry on him I wanted to punch him right away but the inner me wouldn't just agree, my mind was stuck on his hands that were holding my arms and the way it was making me feel, I dint want to feel this way.

"I've been wanting to do this since I saw you walk in the restaurant." He said as he smashed his lips against mine roughly, oh my God! It was so sudden and so surprising for a moment I was left stunned, but his lips against mine felt like magic. I felt like my heart just jumped out of my chest, I felt a sort of burn in my stomach, his mouth tasted of wine, his tongue was working it's magic on mine and I swear I felt all the things I had never felt before, it was like everything inside me was ignited, and I started yearning for more, I wanted to feel more of these feelings.

Without realizing, I grabbed him and pulled him as close as I could as if there was any space between us, I kissed him back even when I had never really kissed a guy so I dint know the right way to do it, but I did it anyway because it all felt so fine!

"Arnav." I whispered his name breaking apart from the kiss to take a breath.

As soon as I whispered his name, he wrapped his arm around my thigh lifting it up as he pressed himself onto me, he tilted my neck on the side and started kissing me all over it roughly before getting back to my mouth, I closed my eyes as a moan escaped my mouth.

I could feel him smirking as he kissed me again, this time working all the magic with his tongue inside my mouth, I could literally feel my heart beating out of my chest, he let go off my leg and put both his hands on my hips, everything stopped for a moment, I found my mind battling with my heart and just like before, it all started feeling wrong, I opened my eyes and looked at him shoving off all the blurry images that had just started coming up in my mind.

I used all my strength to push him off me as I stepped away from his car, everything inside me changed so suddenly and I went from feeling all heavenly to feeling in a way I couldn't even describe in words.

"Khushi!" Arnav called out my name but I ignored him, I turned around and ran as fast as I could, I didn't want to face him, every time he touched me he ended up making me feel this way, so good at first but then it changed and it felt as worse as it possibly could.I walked inside and shut the door as I leaned against it panting for breaths,

and then I heard mom's voice.

"Khushi!"

"Mom!" I rushed towards her and hugged her tight, I wasn't able to understand a thing, why I even allowed Arnav to kiss me at the first place, why it felt so heavenly and then felt terrible at the same time, I was overwhelmed with so much of emotions.

"What happened Khushi?" she asked me as she broke the hug and looked at me worriedly.

"Why mom? Why am I feeling this way? Why can't anything just be freaking right? Why does it have to be right and wrong?" I shouted angrily. Did I say how much I hated feeling this?

"I can't help you if you don't tell me what happened Khushi." She looked at me seriously breaking the hug.

"You know this are the things I'm supposed to tell my friends, like Katherine, or Caroline or Bonnie but I can't because of the way they make me feel so I have no one to tell apart from you and I shouldn't be telling you! Imagine how awkward it would be for any girl to tell their mother about their first kiss, awkward as hell!" I shouted as I turned away from her, I couldn't even look at her, how could I just tell her that I kissed Arnav, I was supposed to tell this to my friends.

"I won't be angry and I will try to listen to you as a friend, tell me what happened?" She asked, I looked at her hesitantly but I knew, if I needed answers, I had to tell her the truth for her to give me answers because maybe she was the only person who knew why I felt this way at the first place.

"Arnav came to drop me home and he... he kissed me. It was my first ever kiss mom, and although I don't know much what it should have felt like, I've grown up watching romantic movies and so I know how it should feel from watching the movies and this dint feel anything like that.

In the beginning it did but then those blurry images appeared in my mind again and everything changed, so tell me mom, what am I supposed to do when I feel this way about a guy kissing me? You promised me answers today and I did what you asked me to, now it's your turn, tell me why can't I feel like everyone else about my first kiss?"

She looked at me sadly as I told her about the kiss, once I was done, she grabbed my hand and pulled me along to the hall, we both sat down on the sofa as she looked at me calmly.

"I never thought I'd ever have to tell you about this Khushi, a part of me always prayed that I'd never have to tell you this. As I watched you grow up, I believed you were growing up with no memories whatsoever about it, but I guess I was wrong." She said sadly.

"Mom, what are you talking about?" I looked at her curiously not knowing what was coming up afterwards.

"It happened long back Khushi, you were just my little baby girl then, you were around four years old." She started speaking, her eyes were getting moist and I was getting worried, was I even ready to hear the truth?

"One day your grandma fell sick suddenly, we had to rush her to the hospital, I was pregnant with Ayush and I knew it would be exhausting if we took you along, so your father and I decided to leave you with the neighbor for a while.

There was a couple who used to live in our neighborhood at those times, we weren't as rich then, we used to live in a different part of the city and they were the only neighbors we had. So I asked the lady if she could look after you for an hour or so and she agreed so we rushed your grandma to the hospital but as soon as we arrived there, she was pronounced dead.

We had to leave her in the hospital for a while so your dad and I thought we'd come back and get you then head back to the hospital.

When we came back..." She was literally sobbing, she couldn't even speak anymore, somehow I already knew what she was going to say, I just hoped it wasn't that.

"The lady had left you with her husband and he was a stupid pervert, he did some horrible stuff... we arrived on the right time before he could do much to harm you but I can't say that he hadn't. We found you crying and he had you trapped inside the house, your father broke the door and got inside, he took you and we headed home straight. We headed straight to the police station once we had managed to make you stop crying, the man was arrested and sentenced for what he did to you.

It was all my fault Khushi, I am so sorry, if that day I had taken you along none of it could have happened, that man wouldn't have abused you in that way and today you wouldn't be feeling this way about Arnav's touch." She cried, I pulled her into a hug as tears rolled down my eyes too.

"I wasn't sure if you would remember it, I just prayed to God that every memory of it be erased from your mind, and I had started believing that you dint remember it because you were just a kid but then you had never allowed any guy as close as you have allowed Arnav and I guess the moments with him triggered those memories that's why you felt that way about his touch.

I am so sorry you have to feel that way about it Khushi and I really wish I could help you get over it, I am sorry for what happened."

"It wasn't your fault mom, please stop crying. I just need some time to get this thing in my mind, I'll talk to you tomorrow?" I said as I stood up and rushed to my room, the information was too much to process so I needed to be alone so I could really figure things out, I couldn't even believe I had faced something of such sort, it was shocking.