Mick
If it wasn't obvious already, he would most definitely star in the movie. He'd be the porn star. I mean come on guys. It's Mick we're talking about .

Keith
Would be another actor in the movie. He'd star along side his partner in crime.

Brian
The director. He likes to watch.

Charlie
The assistant director. Brian dragged him into this.

Bill
The producer, who had know idea what he was producing. (Yes he did)