to ThankUAuthor,

*****
iMessage
🥸🤓😎

Iscaleon:
How can you tell that
you're already in love?

Cayden:

kapag puso na mga mata mo

Iscalade:
LOL
IDK
Kapag siguro hindi mo siya
matiis na hindi makausap?
na iniisip mo agad siya
bago matapos yung gabi?
At siya yung first thought mo
sa umaga?

Cayden:
Ganyan na ganyan ako sa mama nyo

Kaya nagkakaboner ako sa umaga

Iscalade:
KAILAN KA BA DI MAGIGING BASTOS

ANW i do think you dont need any confirmation at all; feelings will reveal itself when its time 🫶🏻

Cayden:
Kaya pala two years kang bff eh

Ahmmm cal, sa totoo lang

Sabihin mo na mahal mo siya

Sabihin mo kung ano ba
talaga gusto mo sa kanya

May mga tao kasi na kahit sinabihan mo na ng i love you o pinapakitaan mo na ng motibo, hindi pa rin nila gets kung ano meron

Most of them were deprived of love and attention from the start; kaya kapag binibigyan sila nito, they tend to think that it must be something else. So we must be more vocal and expressive but never too pushy. Respeto pa rin sa boundaries na meron sila.

Iscalade:
Dapat tinag mo na lang
si philo hahaha 😎

Cayden:
Dapat tinag ko na lang
mama mo hahaha 🥸

Iscaleon:
Nahihiya ako.

Paano kung ayaw n'ya pala?
Na masaya na siya sa ganito lang?

Cayden:
Tinanong mo na ba?

Kasi hindi pwedeng palagi tayong pinapangunahan ng takot sa pagmamahal, Cal.

Hindi ko yan malalaman kasi
di naman ako si celest eh

gusto mo ba magpanggap ako na si celest?

Cayden:
Ako na ito si celest

Iscaleon:
Pa, naman. . .

Iscalade:
BAYAN

at bakit ka ba kasi color blue dyan

Cayden:
Kasi tatay mo blue.
😭2

Diba! Narinig ko yan sabi ni Iscaleon sayo dati eh. Ayaw ko naman isipin mo na ampon ka lade kaya nagpablue ako.

Para tatay mo blue.

Iscalade:
Duda talaga ako sa taste ni
mama minsan eh

Cayden:
Duda talaga ako sa taste ni
Philo minsan eh

*****

Chapter 26

I knew Iscaleon Altreano as the delivery boy of Philomena's cookies. Pero dala ng pinagsamang kuryusidad at paninimbang kung tama bang pagkatiwalaan ko siya ay nagawa ko siyang i-stalk sa iba't ibang social media na mayroon siya. I even found his old Facebook account, apparently he likes to play Tetris before and he tends to send requests to his friends. Simula bata pa lang siya ay marami na siyang nakuhang mga medalya at papuri mula sa iba't ibang tao.

I bit my lower lip. Now is not the right time to feel insecure over your own boyfriend. Kahit naman paano ay hindi naman siya lugi sa akin. . .sa isang babagsaking walang pangalan na walang kayang ipagmalaki na girlfriend.

Grabe.

My confidence evaporated into thin air as I scrolled more into his profile. Nakita ko roon ang ilan sa mga kaibigan ni Cal dahil kadalasan naman sa mga pictures n'ya ay mula sa mga kaibigan n'ya. Halos mga tagged pictures ang mga nakikita ko kaya naman lalong nangliit ang tingin ko sa aking sarili.

His friends were from known universities, some were even from overseas, and most were from known families. Isa rito ang mga Adeva na kanina ko pa nakikita sa mga tagged pictures. Mula pagkabata pala ay magkakilala na sila ni Audrey. There was even a picture of them hugging each other since it was Christmas. Both of them were wearing sweaters, in red and green. Kung titingnan, bata pa sila nito at mukhang kaka-graduate lang ng elementary dahil sa height nila.

Napabuntonghininga na lang ako habang patuloy sa pagiisip kung tama pa ba ang landas ko kay Cal. I know that it was only my insecurities talking. . .but what can I offer him? When he has all these amazing people around him? Pakiramdam ko ay nag-first move lang naman ako kaya pinagbigyan n'ya ako eh.

I fumbled on my phone and searched for Micah's contact so I could ask her if what I feel is valid. Tama ba talaga na makaramdam ako ng inggit kay Iscaleon mismo?

Celest:
Micaaah :(((

Micah:
Hello hello!!!
Ano meron?
Okay lang ba ang
babygirl namin?

Celest:
Wala wala
okay na pala
miss you!!

Micah:
You sureee?
Miss you moree

Bigla akong nilubog sa hiya nang mapagtantuan na baka maliit na problema lang ang mayroon ako. I shook my head as the thoughts consumed me. Paano ba ako magiging 'good enough' para kay Iscaleon Altreano? Maybe I should be more modest and nice? Like Tita Istelle. . .or maybe more polite and conservative like Philo? Among all the girls in their family; I look like the black sheep.

Hindi pa nga ako tapos sa mga iniisip ko nang mag-text sa akin si Iscaleon.

Cal:
Busy ka?
May dinner party kasi kami.
I need a date. Are you free tonight?

Okay lang naman kung hindi
. . .sorry kung biglaan.
Maiintindihan ko kung busy ka.

Napangiti naman ako dahil kay Cal. He was thoughtful and kind. Hindi ko talaga alam kung bakit siya pumayag maging fake boyfriend ko. Hindi ko rin alam kung ano ang makukuha n'ya sa pag-date sa akin. I was mentally counting the months to go and realized there were only a few more months before we bid farewell to this relationship.

He said 'I love you' but for how long? Hanggang graduation lang din ba? Is everything just an act for him? Is he really just good at making me feel so loved? Yet he wouldn't think twice when it comes to tossing me aside as soon as my graduation is done?

Celest:
Di ako busy!
Prep lang ako kaya need ko sana ang attire code kung sakali.

Cal:
Any formal dress.
If you don't have one, samahan kita bumili.

Celest:
I have!
No need to buy one!

Habang tinitipa ko yun ay napaisip ako kung anong klaseng mga dress ba ang nasa damitan ko ngayon. I have a lot of dresses but most of them are a bit revealing. Some had slits, showing my thigh in the process of wearing it. Ang ilan ay kita naman ang cleavage ko. I normally dress to show some skin but now I fear that Iscaleon would be judged for bringing a date who dresses like she's going there to flaunt her body.

Magdadala na lang siguro ako ng cardigan o balabal. A white one would be a safe option. Napailing na lang ako habang iniisip kung paano ang magiging itsura ko roon. I'm hoping that it will be just a small gathering. Sana lang dahil kung kasama roon ang mga kaibigan n'ya na nakita ko kanina, hindi ko alam paano makikisalamuha sa kanila.

I picked a beige satin dress that flowed down to the floor. I partnered the look with silver stilettos. I put my hair in a bun, only leaving my bangs and a few strands of hair to sculpt my face. I applied makeup on my own. Gumamit lang ako ng eyeshadow na medyo gold at glittery ang datingan. My lipstick was even close to rose gold color just so it wouldn't look too daring or flashy. This isn't my usual look. I look completely tame.

Nagpasundo na ako kay Iscaleon. I was about to contact him when someone else had to fetch me. Napatingin pa ako sa ibaba ng bahay namin dahil may sasakyan malapit sa may gate. Sakto namang nakatanggap ako ng text mula kay Cal.

Cal:
I can't fetch up right now. 😢
I booked a Grab and the driver is already there.
Bayad na siya. Ingat papunta.

I'm so sorry again. It's okay if you won't come. Just tell the driver in case.

Celest:
Okay lang!?!
See you na lang later.
Don't worry about me.

Cal:
You sure?

Celest:
Yep.
Love you!! 💗😍

Cal:
I love you more, Celest.
See you later, love. 🥰💗

*****

Hinatid ako ng driver papunta sa mismong venue. No one told me it was going to be in a grand hotel around Manila. Nagulat na lang ako sa pa-red carpet pagkarating ko pa lang. Pagkababa ko pa lang ng sasakyan ay gusto ko na agad bumalik at tumambay na lang siguro sa isang mall na malapit. Wala pa akong kilala rito maliban kay Iscaleon!

The lights were blinding. Halos mga naka-dress at naka-suit din ang mga nakakasalubong ko kanina. They have been eyeing me since I was new. Napalunok ako nang wala sa oras. Kinuha ko ang phone ko saka agad na nagtipa ng message kay Iscaleon.

My heart raced upon seeing the signal bar. . .naghihingalong one bar lang ang signal ko rito sa loob ng hotel nila.

"Shit," I muttered to myself. Di ko alam kung makukuha ba ni Iscaleon yung message ko sa kan'ya.

Pumasok na lang ako at nagbaka-sakaling p'wedeng malaman yung WiFi ng hotel. The reception area was near the entrance so it wasn't hard to find it. Tumikhim ako nang makitang busy yung receptionist.

"Yes?" She smiled at me kindly.

"P'wede malaman WiFi n'yo?" kaswal na tanong ko.

Her eyes almost popped as if she wasn't my frank question. Tumango naman siya at nagsulat sa isang papel.

"May I ask lang po kung kasama po ba kayo sa dinner party ni Sir Ryker Adeva?"

"Sino yun?" Kumunot ang noo ko sa tanong n'ya sa akin. Aba malay ko kung sino si Ryker—oh, that famous university basketball player. Yung type ni Micah.

I vividly remember his features. Matangkad. Matipuno. His skin matching his masculinity. Isa sa mga artistahin sa unibersidad nila. Sa pagkakaalam ko ay med student siya kaya lalong nakuha ang atensyon ni Micah eh. Pero bukod doon? Hindi ko siya personal na kilala.

This was his party? For someone who looked like he fucks around, a dinner party was least of my expectations. Napailing na lang ako at muling binalik ang atensyon sa babaing kausap ko.

"Name na lang po," the receptionist added. Si Ate ko naman, nanghihingi lang ako ng WiFi password eh. Bakit naman mukha akong gate crasher?

"Celest Haeia Ybanez," sagot ko.

"Kasama po ba kayo sa invited?"

"Plus one. . ." I said.

Tumango siya saka muling may tinawagan. Their conversations were blurred to my ears. Hindi gaano coherent dahil malayo n'ya itong kinausap. Nakita ko lang ang bahagyang pagtango n'ya.

"Sunduin po kayo ni Sir Ryker," sabi nito at ngumiti muli.

I nodded and waited for someone to come to my direction. Ilang minuto lang ay may papalapit sa akin na lalaki. Napaawang ang labi ko. Oh god, he was tall! Sa malayo ko lang siya noon nakita kaya hindi ko inakalang sobrang tangkad n'ya. Ganito rin naman si Iscaleon pero nakakapanibago kapag ibang tao na pala.

"Celest!" Ryker grinned upon seeing me. "Sakto, nanghihina na roon si Iscaleon. Tara na ba?"

"Wait, kunin ko lang password ng WiFi nila," I said to him as if we were long lost friends. Eh kung feeling close siya, sino ako para mahiya sa kan'ya?

Binigay naman ng receptionist yung WiFi password nila. I texted Iscaleon immediately that I was with Ryker. Naglakad na si Ryker, dahil mahaba ang mga biyas n'ya ay halos habulin ko siya upang makasunod.

He noticed that I wasn't doing well with my steps so he halted from walking and waited for me. Sinabayan na n'ya ako nang makahabol ako sa kan'ya. This time, he was walking with the thought that I was wearing heels. Mas mabagal na ang bawat hakbang n'ya.

"Saan kayo nagkakilala ni Cal?" tanong ni Ryker sa akin. Hindi nakatakas sa pang-amoy ko yung pabango n'ya. His scent lingered on my nostrils. Masyadong panglalaki. Matapang ang pagpasok nito sa ilong. Unlike how my Iscaleon usually smells.

"Sa school saka sa ano common friend," I said to him vaguely. "Schoolmates kami. Saka ano, type ko siya eh. Kaya kinausap ko at ayun. . ."

Ngayon ko lang napagtantuan na ang hirap pala ng sitwasyon naming dalawa ni Iscaleon. Hindi naman kasi p'wedeng i-kwento namin ang arrangements namin sa iba. It's weird and honestly not something you hear daily. Masyado yata kaming kinain ni Cal ng mga libro at telenobela kaya naisip namin ang arrangement na ganito.

Tumango si Ryker, and his lips pulled a quick smirk. "You don't have to lie to me, you know?"

Oh.

Fuck.

Sinabi ba ni Iscaleon sa kanila? Paano ang pagkakasabi n'ya? At kung gano'n, paano ako pinakilala sa kanila ni Cal? All the questions circulated through my head like blood pulsing to my veins.

Napalingon ako kay Ryker. "What do you know?"

"What do I have to know?" Masungit na balik sa akin ni Ryker.

My lips parted at that. Oo, gwapo nga talaga siya. Pero hindi ko magawang kiligin sa kan'ya. The old Celest would probably do her best to flirt with this man, but right now I'm the Celest who's immune to other men because Cal has already invaded my system.

"Well, you tell me," sabi ko sa kan'ya

But the player knows his games. Ngumisi lang siya sa akin. He half-shrugged off then looked at me.

"Are you sure that Cal abides by your rules?" bahagyang bulong n'ya sa akin kaya naman natigilan ako.

What? The? Heck!

"What rules?"

He shrugged once again. This guy! He knows how to get your curiosity burning! Lalo ko tuloy siyang kinulit. Wala naman kaming rules ni Iscaleon sa isa't isa. Our contract onlt stated that our relationship would last until graduation. That's the only term we had and we both agreed on it. So what rules?

"I'm going to make you think of something. . ." he enunciated slowly. "Sa tingin mo? Bakit pumayag si Iscaleon sa arrangement n'yo?"

"What?" My heart raced as the thought lingered on my mind. "Bakit pumayag si Iscaleon?"

"Usually, arrangements like those are beneficial to both," he said, which makes sense. Napaisip tuloy ako bigla. "So, sa tingin mo, bakit siya pumayag?"

"Kasi. . ."

Bakit nga ba?

Ngumisi si Ryker sa akin. Alam rin talaga ni gago na gwapo siya eh. He looked ahead as he spoke.

"C'Mon, Celest. The answer is obvious, you're just being too cautious to answer."

"I don't know," I told him, my lips quivering. "Wala naman siyang sinabi sa akin."

Pero tama naman si Ryker. I'm the one who benefits from this relationship. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang nakukuha ni Cal mula rito. Unless. . .he only wants to be with me?