to aria and ceia,

*****

Messenger
ERPS BALITA

Iscaleon:
😔😔😔😔

Ryker:
ano yan

nabuntis mo ba

grats erps daddy ka na 🎉👏🏻

Eastre:
Wala ka talagang
kwenta ryker

Ryker:
just askinggg 🤷🏻‍♂️

Iscaleon:
No.

I just don't think we're
in good terms.

She keeps on emphasizing that
I'm just a fake boyfriend.

Iiyak na ako. 😭😭😭😭

Hanggang fake lang ba ako? ☹️

Ryker:
wdym buddy

Eastre:
What

Iscaleon:
Maybe she's too comfortable
already with our arrangement.
And she thinks I'm just playing.

Bakit ba kasi dinadaga ako
kapag siya na yung usapan. 😔

I should have told her I should have courted her first! Ngayon tuloy hanggang fake boyfriend lang ako.

Me and my awkward
way of things. 😔

Eastre:
What (ulit)

Ryker:
ano raw?

Iscaleon:
How could I tell her I want it to be real when I was the one who told her I didn't want a relationship. 🕴️FML.

I DIDN'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP YET. But I want to be with her. 😥

Because I don't think I'm good at handling relationships. 🙍🏻

I'm awkward as fuck. 🧎

Ryker changed the group name to ERPS DIARY

Eastre:
Bwisit ka talaga @Ryker Adeva

Ryker:
WHY ME
ayan si @Iscaleon Altreano
ginawa tayong diary 🏃
i dont even know what hes trying to say 🫠

Eastre:
Why did I have to be so friendly; I get to have friends like you guys 💀

*****

Chapter 17

There's a reason why the truth hurts. It is something that we cannot bend. We can lie, deceive, or even fabricate the truth—but in the end we all know that we are fools for even trying to disregard the truth that is being shoved in our faces and down to our throats.

Ayan, na-deep truth kang gaga ka.

I decided not to reply to Iscaleon. After all, if I did say something to him, I know it would only hurt me more because he didn't intend to hurt me—he simply said his truth. Wala nga talaga sa intenyons pero nasa aksyon kadalasan ang sakit.

It's been a week since I messaged Iscaleon about it. I've noticed that Iscaleon has the tendency to become shy when it comes to messaging someone first. Kadalasan pa nga ay dinadaan n'ya sa memes ang unang mensahe n'ya sa akin. And now that I'm not replying to him, he probably thinks I'm just busy.

I couldn't tell my friends about my situation. Siguro dahil nahihiya rin ako kapag ibang tao na ang nakakaalam ng mga kalokohan ko. A pang of guilt and shame hit my chest as I realized that I've been too vocal about wanting to be with Iscaleon. I didn't even get to make him court me—and it's not like he wanted to anyway. For sure, he was just cornered by me so he agreed with my arrangements.

I want to void it.

I want to terminate what was supposed to be our agreement.

Hindi ko kayang walang strings ang ma-a-attached sa aming dalawa. Lalo na kung sobra n'ya akong pinapasaya.

I was hoping for a vulture to eat all the dead feelings I have ever had for people who wasted the opportunity to love me; not knowing that the vulture that I was waiting for would also eat my heart away, taking what was left of me.

It was complicated to begin with.

Sakto pang Linggo kaya walang klase. Lalo tuloy akong nangulila kay Iscaleon dahil kapag ganito ang araw ay lumalabas kaming dalawa o di kaya siya yung kausap ko. And now that we're on a silent war, I don't know how to approach him without thinking of my feelings slowly fostering.

Paano titigil kung ayaw mong tigilan, Celest? Pinagalitan ko ang sarili ko. I scoffed at the thought that I miss him already.

Wala rin ako mapagsabihan ngayon. I never had a dump account; kung magkakaroon man ako, pakiramdam ko ay sina Diana at Micah lang din ang alam no'n. So I opened my old stan account and decided to use it for ranting. It's not like Micah and Diana were there, Iscaleon didn't also exist in my vocabulary when I was still a fan so I doubt he knows about my stan phase.

les @kilengmesoftlly
salot talaga mga lalaki (except sa anagapesism members).
Replying to @kilengmesoftlly
KN @KileNation
oi shet nabuhay yung patay 🪦
MISS YOU LES how r uuu

Oh. She's still active, huh? Pero parang bago yung account n'ya? I decided to talk to her since she was one of my closest friends sa stan before. Hindi lang talaga kami nag-share ng social media outside stan dahil siguro ayaw rin naming nadadawit ang mga totoong ganap sa buhay namin.

Les:
Miss you!
kamusta kaaaa 🤕

KN:
LEEEES
hellooo 😸
oky lang me

heto buntis ulit kay kile🤰
babantay lng din sa
mga anak namin sa bahay

Les:
OLOOOL!
baka nga minor ka pa
anong buntis buntis k dyan
last last year ka pa buntis

tae lang yang laman
ng tyan mo 🤪

KN:
QaQITA KAAAH
me not minor!!! 😹

pero seryoso, hope ure okiii
ingat ka always 🫶🏻😼

Les:
buti di nagagalit bf mo noh
kasi love na love mo si kile

i mean, obvs na may bf ka
ganda ganda mo eh

Kilenation was pretty as heck. Kaya nga no'ng naging moots kami ay pinaprint ko pa yung screenshot na fina-follow n'ya ako. And although her pictures are mostly blurred or her entire face isn't shown; halos lahat yata ng nasa anagapesism stan ay nagagandahan sa kan'ya. They say it was because of her confidence and her personality. Mabait kasi yun kahit maingay sa accounts n'ya. She really just has the IT girl vibes.

KN:
bat naman magagalit si kile
sa sarili nya sis 😹😹😹

siya lang bf ko ui

Les:
Gagi ka talaga ayaw mo
tantanan si kile

KN:
hanggang tinitigasan
pa siya, di ko yun susukuan 😼

Les:
QAQITA KA RIN TALAGA 😭😭😭

ako susuko sayo babaita HAHAHA

may tips ka ba if gusto mo magpapansin pero ayaw mo na halata

Miss ko na kasi yung salot (lalaki) ko 🤕🤕🤕 PERO AYAW KO NA HALATA

KN:
thirst trap is the key 🫶🏻
ulol-lin mo MWHAHAHA

Les:
hays ikaw talaga ang birhen ng mga kalokohan, kn 🥺🙏

KN:
i'm always here for yew 😁

Agad akong pumunta sa closet ko. I rummaged through the set of clothes that I had. Saan ba rito yung maglalaway yung nerd na yun para naman luminaw ang mata n'ya at makita n'ya kung ano ang mawawala sa kan'ya sakaling di n'ya pa ako gawing official girlfriend na talaga?

I know this is all fake for him; pero siguro naman, kung kumagat siya sa kamandag ko, baka magbago pa ang isip n'ya. I nibbled on my lower lip as I saw a black spaghetti strap. That's it! Tingnan ko kung di ka pumalag sa akin ngayon!

Nagligo muna ako para naman fresh ako kung mangaakit. I even wore a freaking push-up bra just so the valley of my breasts would show. Tangina mo talaga, Cal! Kapag di ka pa nag-chat sa akin ngayong gabi, sana di ka makatulog kakaisip na di mo ito mahahawakan kung dededmahin mo lang ako!

Celest Ybanez
Miss mo na ako?

I posted a semi-revealing picture of me. It was just a picture of myself wearing a black spaghetti strap and showing a bit of my cleavage. Natatawa na lang ako kasi first time ko ito! I mean, I may have a loud mouth and naughty thoughts all over my face but I wouldn't dare do this if I wasn't just pissed off because of Iscaleon.

Umulan ng mga papuri mula sa mga kaibigan ko ang post na iyon. Naka-hide sa mga kamag-anak ko naman ang picture dahil mamaya ay batuhan ako ng mga kung anu-anong pangaral dahil sa revealing picture na pi-nost ko. I would die of shame if that happens. Matapang lang ako dahil sa personal Facebook ko talaga nilagay ang picture na iyon.

Felix Tan: L0ng time n0 chAt ! IbA k na ata ngaun @Celest Ybanez

Mirabella Coraline Hernandez: that's my wife right there?! Miss na kita, dito ka na sa tabi ko tulog ulit 😘

Diana Morales: ULOL @Mirabella Coraline Hernandez wag mo na kami guluhin may pamilya na kami nyan ni Celest! Miss ka na ng anak natin 😚

Raul Cruz: pinapatanong daw ni @Geronimo Hilario kung single ka raw ba  @Celest Ybanez

Geronimo Hilario: HOY GAGO HAHAHAHAHA INGAY

Raul Cruz: Kaysa naman nauulol ka sa groupchat natin, tinag ko na para sayo hahahaha ayan na @Celest Ybanez

Geronimo Hilario: hoooy hahaha hi po @Celest Ybanez 😇 good vibes lang ! may baby ka na ba? baka pwede ako hahaha

Napanguso naman ako. Wala man lang react si Iscaleon! Tiningnan ko ang profile n'ya at kitang-kita ko ang maliit na green na bilog sa gilid ng kan'yang profile picture. He won't even acknowledge this one, huh? Oh? Edi okay.

Nakakainis talaga!

My heart almost dropped upon seeing a familiar name and my eyes widened a fraction. Nanginginig pa akong pinindot yung notification na lumabas mula sa phone screen ko.

Iscaleon Altreano: @Geronimo Hilario ????

*****

Messenger
ERPS DIARY

Iscaleon:
😭😭😭😭😢😢😢😢😢🥹🥹🥹🥹😭😭😭😭😢😢😢😢🥹🥹🥹😭😭😢🥹🥹😭😢😭😢😭😢😢🕴️🕴️🕴️🕴️🕴️🕴️🕴️

Ryker:
ano yan

ano na namang engkanto
pumasok sayo dude 👹

Eastre:
May nakita yan hahaha

Iscaleon:
Search Geronimo Hilario.

Sino mas pogi sa amin?

Ryker:
ha
HA
GAG
ANO

Eastre:
The fuck HAHAHAHA

Syempre ikaw;
kaibigan ka namin eh.
❤️

Iscaleon:
🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 thank you.
🤣2

Ryker:
mas lamang ka ng 100x ligo!!!!

ISCALEON >>> GERONIMO DUDE

tangina ka HAHAHAHA GWAPO GWAPO MO EH  isang ganito mo lang 🤓 laglag na mga undies nyan

BUNTISIN MO AKO PAPI ISCALEON

Eastre:
What about Euan Soteiro?

Ryker:
huh
ano meron dun

Eastre:
Sino mas pogi sa amin

Ryker:
mas maganda si euan
syempre HAHAHAHAHAHA

naneto soteiro yun

wala bang babaeng soteiro tho 😋
damn me if meron, imagine
getting rich and laid by dating one

pero sabagay nepobaby ka
ng mga zaguirre 💸💸💸

yakang-yaka mo yun

Eastre:
Fake friend 👿
Why don't I get
the same treatment? 🤕

Ryker:
di hamak naman walang
palag yang geronimo sa
ating 🦁

welcome to our jealousy class 🙌🏻

Iscaleon:
I don't know what to do. 😭🥹

I miss her terribly but
I don't know what to say.
😢2

I miss my Celest.
😢2

Why would she
post a thirst trap?

P'wede naman i-dm
na lang sa akin yun eh.
🍆2

Now I don't know how to
talk to her without
looking like a horndog.
🌭2

Ryker:
sus dali lang nyan eh

mag-thirst trap ka rin