Messenger
Lade Bunso 😎

Lade Bunso 😎:
hi kuya pogi 🥲

Kuya Cal 🤓:
impulsive thoughts ko:
may kailangan to

ako na ulit:
Yes?

Lade Bunso 😎:
potangina
bakit mo chinachat sa akin
yung impulsive thoughts mo
????

Kuya Cal 🤓:
Kaya nga impulsive
thoughts, 'di ba?

Lade Bunso 😎:
AYAW KO NA
SA PAMILYANG TO 🙂

nyways, pabukas gate.
mukhang ipaparepair na yan
simula kasi ng nabangga ka dyan
di na nagaautomatic eh

bakit ka kasi nakikipagkiss
sa gate kuya HAHAHAHA

may metal fetish ka ba

Kuya Cal 🤓:
Ah gano'n ba?

Lade Bunso 😎:
omsim.
kaya pa-open.
thank you pogi 😘

Kuya Cal 🤓:
Tinakwil na kami
ni Iscalade eh.

Ayaw na raw n'ya
sa pamilya n'ya.

Lade Bunso 😎:
haaaa???

kuya 🥹🥹🥹🥹
ako ito si iscalade
miss na kita agad

Kuya Cal 🤓:
Really?
Di ka si Iscalade kasi ma-pride yun
di yun aamin na miss na n'ya ako.

Lade Bunso 😎:
gago ka kuya
libreng lait ka rin eh.

paopen na gate pls 🥹🙏

Kuya Cal 🤓:
Bark ka muna.

Lade:
Ha

ANONG BARK

GAGO!?!?

Kuya Cal 🤓:
Bark bark bark ka lang.
Kapag narinig ko na, buksan ko na gate.

Lade Bunso 😎:
Kuya???
potangina???

seryoso ba???

Kuya Cal 🤓:
Sige ka, matutulog na ako.
Goodnight po. 🤓

Lade Bunso 😎:

POTA ETO NA

*****

Messenger
ALTREANO FAMILY

Istelle Altreano:

DID WE GET A NEW DOG???

😭🥹🫶🏻💕 LET ME SEE PLEASE.

I heard barking last night.

Iscalade:
MAAAAA 😭😭😭😭😭

Cayden:
Baka asong-ulol lang yun, my.

Iscaleon:
Baka nga po.

****

Chapter 16

I always fear asking if things are already real between someone and I. Ilang beses na kasi nangyari sa akin na akala ko ay mayroon ng 'kami' pero puro lang pala ako yun.

When I was in highschool, I had my fair share of crushes. One time, I decided to tell someone that I like them and they entertained me. No'ng pinagkalat ko na sa buong classroom na may namamagitan sa amin dahil alam naman n'yang crush ko siya at palagi n'ya akong binibigyan ng kung anu-ano at china-chat n'ya pa ako ng mga sweet messages—I was bullied because apparently the person I liked already has a girlfriend. Kumalat sa buong classroom namin na malandi ako. Laarnie was friends with his girlfriend that time so I thought I deserved all the verbal bullying I received during that year.

A dull headache formed just behind my brow. I couldn't think straight because of all the signals that Iscaleon is sending me. Does he like me already? Yung totoong gusto na? Kasi ako? Gustong-gusto ko na siya.

I wanted to have at least a confirmation that everything that he does right now is because he is fake dating me; not because he really likes me already. Gusto ko man bigyan ng malisya ang mga ginagawa at sinasabi n'ya sa akin, I don't have the heart to do it because I knew it would break if everything was just fake for him. It would be sent to ruins. I just know.

Gustong-gusto ko si Cal—pero ayoko naman na ako lang yung nakakaramdam ng ganito. If he only likes me because he feels like he is obligated due to my own selfishness; I would feel entirely bad.

Cal:
Papasundo ka?

Celest:
may girl's hangout ako.
ingat ka na lang, Cal. 💕

Cal:
Okay. 🤓
Ingat ka rin.

As much as I want him near me and as much as I want to feel him, to touch him, to make him mine—I know I couldn't afford to make him think that I was obsessed with him already. Kahit na pangalan pa lang n'ya, nag-huramentado na nga ang puso ko agad.

May girl's hangout ako ngayon kasama sina Diana at Micah. Bukod sa gusto naming bumawi sa isa't isa mula nang magkaroon kami ng away; miss na miss ko na rin talaga sila. The weeks without them withered me. Kaya alam ko sa sarili ko na kahit ilang away pa ang magkaroon kami, they were still my bestest friends.

I wore a simple gray spaghetti strap and black skirt. Sa bahay kami ni Diana magkikita eh, kaya naman kahit anong damit lang ang sinuot ko. Nagdala na lang ako ng green na jacket para kung malamig man doon, ready pa rin ako.

Nagpasundo ako kay Micah. She knows how to drive but she doesn't have a car yet, kaya yung kotse ni Tita yung gamit n'ya. Pareho kaming fatherless kaya naman we vibes. Si Diana lang yata yung may tatay sa amin tapos toxic pa, in conclusion may trauma bonding siguro kaming tatlo.

Kung may independent woman man talaga sa amin, I think and I could conclude that it was Micah. She drove to our subdivision and picked me up. Sinalubong n'ya ako na halos kalalabas lang ng bahay.

"Hello!" bati ko nang pumasok ako sa passenger seat. Nasanay na ako rito kaya naman dito na ako umuupo. Dati kasi ay kadalasan sa likod lang ako.

"Ang blooming mo," puna ni Micah. "May lalaki ka 'no?"

I nodded eagerly. "Road to dilig na ako, sis ko."

"Same boy that you've kissed?"

Muli akong tumango saka umiling namg may mapagtantuan. "Hala, pota, ayoko naman maging kiss and tell!"

Humalakhak si Micah. "That's okay. Nag-panic ka siguro nung first time ka na-kiss kaya ka nag-chat sa akin. Blessing in disguise kasi pinansin mo ulit ako dahil doon. I'm sorry again for what happened before. . ."

Napalunok siya. Rinig ko sa tinig n'ya na hanggang ngayon ay nagsisisi siya. This is why despite our fights, we still consider our bond the bestest friendship we could ever have. Hindi ito ang unang beses na may away kami. Minsan pa nga si Diana ang kaaway naming dalawa dahil ma-pride yung isa yun. It was always Micah who's the peacemaker and the one who's neutral.

"Okay na nga," I sighed, obviously not wanting to proceed the talk further. "Basta wag n'yo na lang ulitin, okay?"

"You know how Diana has the tendency to overthink things, kaya siguro akala n'ya kung di mo malalaman, di ka masasaktan," she said and maneuvered the car to Diana's house direction. "It was too late when she informed me that she didn't tell you. Akala ko pa nga ay busy ka no'n since nagyaya ka ng BGC. So, I thought you had your own errands na rin."

It was true that Diana was the type to think ahead. Kaya nga sa aming tatlo, siya rin ang overachiever. Dean's lister at Officer siya sa department nila. Hindi naman kami bobo ni Micah, di rin kami yung tipo na basta makapasa lang. I could say, aside from some of my accounting subjects, I excel well in my academics when I can learn from the subject.

"I know," I nodded. "Can we please stop talking about it already? Move on na tayo."

"Are you sure?" nagaalalang sabi ni Micah. "If we don't talk about this argument, it could lead to long term resentment. Ayaw ko na hindi ka pa pala okay pero for the sake of our friendship, di mo na lang sasabihin sa amin."

"Focus on driving, Micah." I said, putting a final thought on our conversation.

The thing is, when I feel like things are getting confrontational, I would run from it. I would pretend that it doesn't bother me because in the end I'll blame myself for even the minor inconvenience that happened to someone that I have caused. It isn't for me; kaya nga mas gugustuhin ko na lang huwag ipaalam ang nararamdaman kong bigat kaysa pag-usapan ito. It would eventually fade anyway. Emotions are fleeting and I'm hoping that the happenings caused by those emotions would not stick around me.

Yet for some reason, I could tell Iscaleon every hurt I felt during that time. He could see the wounds that I tried hard to conceal. He was the tranquility of  my night sky; he could see past the clouds how lonely my moon can be yet can still manage to stay with me through the dark.

He didn't make me feel that I needed to explain why it hurt me. He was just there.

"Sa tingin mo bakit nagyaya si Diana?" tanong ni Micah sa akin. "She's always busy with school, o kaya may bebe time siya kasama si Jericho. Kaya nagulat ako nang biglang magyaya eh."

That's my question as well. Hindi naman sa killjoy si Diana. She's just always busy with her own errands and the only time we have for each other is our lunch breaks in school. Kapag nagyaya yun, it's either she's fighting with Jericho or she terribly misses us. I'm hoping it was the latter.

Bumaba na ako ng sasakyan nang makarating kami sa bahay nila Diana. She lives in a humble home, sakto para sa pamilya nila. Sa pagkakaalam ko ay middle child si Diana pero parang mas panganay pa siya sa kuya n'yang walang ginawa kundi bigyan sila ng sakit sa ulo.

There was a nearby tree just behind their home. Maganda ang pagkakatayo ng mga bakod na gawa sa kahoy sa kanilang harapan. May alaga rin silang aso na si tonton. Agad kaming tinahulan ni tonton pero sinalubong lang siya ni Micah.

"Nasaan na yung kamukha mo?" Micah asked the dog. Kumahol lang ito lalo.

"Sino kamukha n'yan?"

"Si Diana," Micah said casually.

Napabungisngis naman ako. "Gaga ka talaga. Marinig ka no'n eh, ipalapa ka bigla kay tonton."

American bulldog  pa naman itong si tonton. Cute kaya n'ya! Even with its muscular frame. Kung mahilig lang din sana si Mama sa aso edi sana may alaga na rin ako na ganito. It kept on moving around. Hindi mapakali habang nandito pa kami sa harap n'ya. It was wiggling its slightly curved tail.

"Guys!" Lumabas na si Diana na naka-puting printed shirt lang at shorts na umaabot sa taas ng kan'yang tuhod.

Oh wow.

She looked like a mess.

"K-kanina pa ba kayo?" She panicked. Tonton almost jumped on her.

"Okay pa naman kami. Ikaw mukhang hindi na," I wryly said. "Bakit gan'yan itsura mo?"

Magulo ang kulot n'yang buhok, namumula ang gilid ng kan'yang mga mata na tila ba nilagyan ito ng chili power, at halos parang naubusan siya ng tubig sa katawan dahil nangangayayat siya. Mukha siyang tuyot! Magkaaway siguro sila ni Jer.

"You okay?" I asked as I went near her. Nagaalala sa kalagayan n'ya.

"Inom tayo?" anyaya ni Diana habang malawak ang ngiti.

*****

There's a reason why I don't drink. I easily get drunk. Kaya naman pinanood ko lang si Diana at Micah habang tumutungga sila ng Brandy. Halos maluha-luha na si Diana habang pabagsak na si Micah. I sipped on my orange juice as I looked over them.

Nasa sala kami ngayon. May center table silang ginagamit at halos nasa lapag lang kaming tatlo. Hindi ako uminom kaya naman ako ang naging audience nilang dalawa. They know what happens when I get drunk so they don't push it further. Hinayaan na lang nila ako.

"Ano bang nangyari sa 'yo?" I asked Diana who, for some reason, is still capable of drinking and thinking straight. "Bakit parang problemado ka?"

"Break na kami ni Jer," kaswal n'yang sinabi.

I almost dropped my glass when she said those words out. Nakapangalumbaba siya sa lamesa habang may ngiting humahalo ang pighati sa kan'yang labi.

"Oh," I can't help but say. Hindi ko ine-e-expect. They were already dating for almost four years. . .and for them to break up so suddenly. . .makes me feel scared.

How can you cease to remember the years of love for someone in just a blink of an eye? Paano nila nagagawang kalimutan yung haplos sa puso na nagawa ng isang tao? It wouldn't make sense especially to me.

"He broke up with me," she uttered slowly. "He realized that our love was probably just not for him. He even forgot about our anniversary."

"And you let him go?"

"I didn't even have the choice not to," she sobbed as she took another shot of her liquor. "Paano k-ko hindi papakawalan yung taong alam kong hindi ako kaya sukuan pero nalimutan na akong mahalin?"

"Diana," I hushed her.

"He was my first love. I gave him everything. My every firsts. I built an idea that since he was my first love, I would treat it as my last.  . ." litanya n'ya saka lumingon sa akin. "Maling-mali ako."

"Hindi kasalanan ang magmahal, Diana."

"Pero kasalanan ang ubusin ang sarili para isang tao, Cel," she chuckled, tumatakas pa rin ang mga luha sa mga mata. "Huwag na huwag mo ako gayahin. You're our baby girl. Make the most of it. Huwag ka gagaya sa akin. Never give anyone the power to destroy you. Never give your first love the chance to ruin the other loves you're about to experience."

Sa bahay nila Diana kami pinatulog ng mama n'ya dahil lasing na si Micah para mag-drive pa at halos madaling araw na sila natapos. Sa kwarto kami ni Diana at magkakatabi kaming tatlo. Both of them were obviously too drunk to stay awake at night unlike me who only had a pitcher of juice. Buti na lang hindi lang yun flavored juice kundi all natural orange juice!

Cal 🐯:

Cel:
GAGO hahaha
ano yan

Cal 🐯:
Are you okay?
Tahimik mo. 🙁

Cel:
babysitting my friends lang

Cal 🐯:
Oh!
Okay.
Enjoy.

Kahit huwag mo na pala
muna ako kausap. 🦖

Focus ka muna d'yan.

Cel:
why did you ask pala
if ok lang ako

is it because tahimik ako?

Cal 🐯:
Yes. 😔

Cel:
wooow

hahaha

ganap na ganap pagiging
fake boyfriend ah

Cal 🐯:
Ah.

Yes.

Hindi ko alam bakit parang pinagpipiraso ang puso ko dahil doon. You've got your confirmation, Celest Haiea. Tinutuka ka na nga, tanga. He's not serious with all his attention on you. He's simply obliged to do those things because you've asked him to be your fake boyfriend. My eyes sting as if it was being poked.

Cel:
You should have a day off.
As a fake boyfriend.
Di mo naman need always
maging sweet. You don't have
to treat me like how you
would treat your gf for real.

It will drain you. Ayoko naman magka-fake break or whaat haha

Masaya na ako sa kaunting
landian at KISSES. haha lol

Really. Huwag ka na mag-effort

Kasi mahal na yata kita | deleted

Nahuhulog na ako sayo | deleted

And I can't believe that one day
everything will end between
the both of us | deleted

You are my first love; you made all the first ones irrelevant | deleted

I want to preserve the good memories with your image | deleted

Please let me remember you as someone who didn't break my heart | deleted

Cal 🐯:
What?

Cel:
Wala.

Ano ba tayo, Cal?

Tanga. Tanga. Tanga! I almost pulled out every strand of my hair because of that message that I've sent. Hindi pa nakatulong na mabilis itong binasa ni Cal. Ayan! You'll definitely get your answer! So much for being frank and all!

Cal 🐯:
I'm your fake boyfriend.
Didn't you just say so?