to eah,

*****

Messenger
ERPS BALITA

Ryker:
kaya ka pala nanahimik ah
may babae ka pala e
@Iscaleon Altreano

Eastre:
Kailan ba yan naging maingay haha

Ryker:
gago ka. isa ka pa e.
pasulpot-sulpot ka rin.
ako lang talaga matino sa inyo.
AT WALANG BABAE.

Eastre:
Liar liar pants on fire 😝

Ryker:
dadaya nyooo.
parang di tayo nagsama-sama sa iisang school publication natin before.

Iscaleon:
Do you guys know
a place ba na magubat?

Ryker:
safari?

Eastre:
Zoo? Why

Iscaleon:
Aight.
Nagtanong lang
for research.

Ryker:
research nga ba o babae.

Eastre:
Research para sa babae haha

Iscaleon:
I'm nervous. 😔

Eastre:
Hala why

What's making you nervous?

Ryker:
date ba yan

Iscaleon:
Yes. 😢
What if I fuck this up?
Like the numerous times I fuck up when it comes to dating.

Eastre:
Have you even tried

Kasi I remember lang na never ka pa naman nag-date

There's always room for
errors and mistakes you know 🤷

Ryker:
azzzz someone na
sinukuan na ang dating

wag ka na pumasok dyan
HAHAHAHAHAHA

sakit sa ulo lang yan

Eastre:
Ang gago talaga mag-advise haha

Hmmm

Pero yeah, that's a bit of a mess haha

Iscaleon:
Kinakabahan tuloy ako ipakilala kayo sa kan'ya. 😰

I don't want to be generalized because of the saying
that show me your friends and
I'll know who you are.

Eastre:
What

Ryker:
ano raw HAHAHA

bakit naman

Iscaleon:
Mukha kasi kayong
ejaculate and evacuate eh.

Eastre:
Gago hahahaha

Saan mo na naman nadampot yan

Di naman kami blow your load and hit the road dude 🤒

Is that who we are to you

Is that what we stand for

Hurt naman ako

Mabait naman ako ah haha

Ryker:
TARANTADO KA HAHAHAH

ganyan ka na ba sa aming bffs mo!! 😨😨😨

Iscaleon!!! pagkatapos ka naming itago sa mga babaing ikakama ka lang ganito na kami sa tingin mo?! 😪😪😪

im so hurt broootheer

Iscaleon:
Please, magpanggap kayong matino kapag nand'yan siya, okay?

Ryker:
kaugali ba yan nung philo

type nyo kasi mga holy being eh

Eastre:
Amen 🙏

Iscaleon:
Mabait siya.
She's breathtakingly beautiful.

I would often stare at her because how could she be so beautifully made? 😔

As if the heavens took their time in creating someone like her?

And she likes me raw.

I doubt someone like her would be able to stand someone who's boring like me. 😭

*****

Chapter 15

I was afraid that what I was feeling about him was turning into something real—I didn't want myself falling for someone who's obviously just not into me. Baka nga mabait lang talaga si Iscaleon kaya natitiis ako. The feeling wouldn't just sink and let me rest in the paradise that I've built. It would always remind me that I may have my paradise but it is surrounded by waves of falsehood—na lahat ng ito ay di naman totoo.

Humarap ako sa vanity mirror sa aking kwarto. This was a newly bought one because I kept on asking Mama to get me one since we only have one mirror in our house; yung mirror pa na yun ay nasa banyo n'ya. It had some fairy lights that I bought during the double digit sale.

I noticed my features clearly. Nagpa-layer ako ng hairstyle, almost similar to the hime cut since I thought it would look good on me. Lalo lang yatang na-emphasize ang pagiging intimidating ng mukha ko. My upturned eyes partnered with my bow shaped lips screamed how I look like I shouldn't be approached without asking the right questions.
Ang sabi naman ni Diana at Micah ay maayos naman daw ako kausap sadyang mukha lang akong walang pakialam sa mundo.

Maganda naman ako.

Pero bakit walang nangliligaw sa akin?

Kahit naman paano, pumapasa ako sa mga exams at quizzes ko. Hindi rin naman ako pabaya sa pagaaral.

I also have my share of fun; pero kahit gano'n ay bakit walang interesado?

Gosh, I thought that if I had a fake boyfriend, these thoughts would eventually fade. However, they are only hiding whenever I'm with him but it's still there, waiting for me to wake up from my dream.

Pumasok na ako sa OJT. Honestly, kapag wala sa mood yung supervisor namin ay kung anu-ano ang pinapagawa sa amin. I'm just really lucky we don't do errands for them, connected pa rin naman sa accounting ang mga pinapagawa sa amin.

I was wearing a beige button up polo and some denim skinny jeans. Kanina ay halos pagusapan ako ng ilang mga empleyadong babae dahil daw type ako ng isa sa mga nasa Finance Department. Napapakinabangan ko rin pala ang pagiging tsismosa ko kung minsan eh. Kinabahan naman ako dahil hindi ba bawal yun? And we'll be able to meet each other since my training also involves the Finance dept.

When it was almost 6PM, nag-prepare na kami umuwi dahil wala na masyadong gawain. I already did the excel that our supervisor assigned to me. Nagunat-unat ako bago kinuha ang phone ko para tingnan kung ano ang ganap ng iba kong mga kaibigan.

Joke lang.

Sinilip ko lang talaga si Calbo Natix.

Leviticus Kile? Hindi ba sa Anagapesism yun? I mean, I used to be a fan but when they were already in the mainstream, I lost interest because I felt like they were already too big for me. Too mainstream for my taste. Siguro isa sa mga bad traits ko ay mahilig akong mang-gatekeep. Oo na, masama na lalo kung wala ng makain yung artist. Kaya ako na mismo ang umalis sa fandom nila. It's not because I didn't like their music anymore, it didn't just stick with me. But I still idolized Kile! Just as an admirer of his voice, of course. Username ko pa nga noon ay kilengmesoftlly eh.

Speaking of usernames; I miss my internet friends. Magmula kasi nang umalis ako sa stan ng Anagapesism, wala na akong balita sa kanila.

I used to be close with a big account in their fandom, si kilenation. She's someone that I could have fun conversations with. I remember that I ranted about something in my stan account and she was the first one to message me about it. Tinatanong n'ya kung okay lang ba ako, it made me think that she was one of the kindest fans that I have ever encounter. Partida, that time, di pa n'ya ako close no'n. Pareho lang naman kaming fan. Pero kung magalala siya sa akin ay para bang long lost childhood friend ko siya.

Kaya naman sa kanila na si Kile!

Kay Iscaleon lang magpapatanim! That's my new motto.

Pero imposible namang may connection si Cal kay Kile; he doesn't look like he likes socializing a lot. Mukha rin talagang out of our league si Kile dahil sa pagkakatanda ko ay anak yun ng politiko eh. Hindi ko rin nakikitang naguusap yung dalawa dahil wala talagang common denominator eh. Ang layo ng mundo nila sa isa't isa.

Cal 🐯:
Hello.
Online ka na.

Celest:
aiii wooow
naghihintay ka magonline ako?

Cal 🐯:
Yes po.
How was your day? 🤓

Celest:
pagod
pauwi pa lang ako

Cal 🐯:
Sunduin kita?

Celest:
oh
wala ka class?

Cal 🐯:

Celest:
bawal!?
presidents lister ka raw ah
bawal ka umabsent
kung ako lang dahilan

Cal 🐯:
Ok po.
I'll listen to you.
But, really, I don't
have any classes na.

OJT na lang din ang
inaasikaso ko lately.

And currently have tito
duties right now. 🤓

Ngumuso naman ako habang nagtitipa sa kan'ya ng isasagot. May tito side pala talaga ang isang ito eh. Lalo tuloy akong ginaganahan sa kan'ya!

Celest:
Tito?

Cal 🐯:
Kasama ko pamangkin ko sa mall

May ginagawa nga ako eh.

Celest:
oooh
wag ka magpagod ha
pwede mo na ako sunduin after
yung ginagawa mo

ano pala ginagawa mo

Cal 🐯:
Bahay natin.

Di ko pa tapos yung garden.

Natawa naman ako sa message n'ya. Wow? Ang futuristic naman nito. It makes me feel well loved because he includes me in whatever he is doing. It's an enchanting feeling when someone remembers you even in small things. Napangiti ako nang wala sa oras dahil doon. Iscaleon has the power over me when it comes to this. He can make me smile effortlessly and even without trying.

I replied back since I didn't want our conversation to end just yet.

Celest:
mahilig ka magtanim?

Cal 🐯:
Yes. 🤓🪴
Gardening is fun.

Celest:
goood
taniman mo nga ako 🌝

Cal 🐯:
Whaaat?
Ano? 🌚

Celest:
HAHAHA
anw, ingat sa byahe
see you later

Cal 🐯:
Okay.
Celest.
(❤️)
Walang d.

Celest:
ayan ka na naman
nagrereact ka na naman
sa sariling chat mo

ano bang meron sa celest
bakit mo hinaheart
tapos walang d HAHAHA

malamang wala akong d
nasayo kasi yung d na gusto ko 🤪
(HAHA)

Cal 🐯 laughed at "nasayo kasi yung d na gusto ko 🤪"

Hindi na nagreply si Iscaleon sa akin. Nag-haha lang si gago akala naman n'ya nagbibiro ako eh. Ayaw talaga ng manok sa palay na in-o-offer ko sa kan'ya. I pucker my lips as I wait for him inside the campus. Sa sobrang inip ko nga lang ay na-curious ako lalo sa text sa akin ni Iscaleon na heart na walang d. Kaya naman habang wala pa siya ay nag-try akong mag-reply sa sarili kong chat.

Cel:
wag mo ako pansinin
may tinatry lang ako
Celest.
(❤️)
Walang d.

Pota wala naman.
nu kayo yon 😒

Cal🐯:
Ano yan?
HAHAHAHAHA.
Ah.
Haha.

Ganito kasi.

Celest.
(❤️)

He tried it again and my mouth slowly agape as a new message appeared in our conversation. My heart thudded hard against my chest as the realization slowly appeared in front of me.

Cal 🐯 loved "Celest."

My breathing hitched as my heart raced more than usual. Natulala lang ako sa aking kinatatayuan. Lalo na nang may sumunod na mensahe pa akong nabasa sa kan'ya na tila ba pahabol.

Cal 🐯:
Walang d. :)