~"Almost every night, I cry myself to sleep
Everybody else is happy, but I'll just weep, weep, weep "~

*

A.N: This is indeed the last chapter.

It had been 3 months since he lost the love of his life.

Brian could hardly recall what had happened after he had found her with Bob and he was nearly thankful for it... If only he could forget the rest too, but Celeste's tear stained face was something he could never erase no matter what he took or how much he drunk. It always was there in the back of his mind and lurked over him like a dark cloud.

That he hadn't meant too, was hardly a comfort, when the regret was stronger than anything. He shouldn't have hit her. Hurting Celeste was the last thing Brian had ever wanted to do...

She had stepped in for Bob as Brian had jumped the folk musician and he had just been so angry, that he had slapped her. Hard.

He couldn't remember much after that... Bob left and with him, Celeste and David as well.

Brian couldn't leave the house for three weeks, he hardly had enough energy to get out of bed and on some days he didn't even manage that. He survived by the good will of his maid.

She couldn't get him to leave the house though, Brian nearly had to lose another thing that mattered to him before he found the energy to step outside again and face a world that had more than once screwed him over. In vain though as he later learned.

They had threatened to sack him before, but Brian could feel this time was different. He needed to act, though some part of him no longer cared. What was life worth if you're only going to lose everything you ever loved in the end?

Giving up sounded good, but despised everything Brian still wanted to hope... After all wasn't there always sunshine after rain?

He was sure someday everything was going to be alright again, and maybe he could even forgot Celeste. He had moved on from Anita as well, hadn't he? So why shouldn't he be able to do the same with Celeste?

And Brian hadn't needed to look long to find another pretty girl to warm his bed. Even if she reminded him of what he had lost, he actually liked to keep Anna close. Her English wasn't the best and Brian doubted she understood half the things he was talking off, for which he was very thankful. He often caught himself  telling her how much he missed Celeste or how much he regretted letting her go and Anna- she comforted him as good as she could. It was nice to speak to somebody that couldn't judge you or yell at you because you thought of another woman.

It helped, but in the end all Brian could do was sit at home, drink and hope someday the pain would go away, though he knew it never would... It would only grow.

He was damned and on some days he just wondered why he even bothered anymore...

*

Brian hadn't actually planned anything, but he was sick of hearing about the free Stones concert at Hyde park and people asking him about it, if he would go, if he was fine with it, if Mick Taylor was a good choice or whatever. He just wanted to be left alone and at the same time he didn't. The moment his house was empty he only realised how lonely it really was without Celeste and he called somebody to stay with him. It distracted him at least for a while. 

Partly why he had decided to renovate his house as well... As long as his mind was occupied, he couldn't regret anything and felt better.  Everything he did at the moment was basically a distraction.

However Brian should have known that he couldn't run away for forever. It had never worked out in the past, so why should it have worked now?

"Bastard!"

Slap.

He deserved worse and Brian probably would have let Marion hit him further, if the others didn't jump in and pulled her away as she kept on cursing him. 

Brian just observed the whole scene and didn't act at all at first. All he did was wonder what Marion was doing here and then... if she knew if Celeste was fine... Marion had to know judging by her reaction.

"Brian are you okay?"

Anna. 

She was pretty with her long blond hair, but she wasn't Celeste and never would be.

She too was only a distraction, one that didn't currently work. Marion might be the key though, even if he wasn't sure for what. Brian only knew that if he didn't chase after her, he would never forgive himself. He needed to at least know if Celeste was fine.

"Where is she?" He blurted out, unsure how much time actually had passed since Marion had slapped him. Since Celeste left him, Brian had lost his feeling of time completely.

"Out?"

Anna's tone was questioning, but Brian didn't care if she understood what he did or not. She wasn't what he wanted. Without a further word Brian got up and run outside, hoping Marion hadn't already left.

She hadn't.

She was smoking right out side his door and Brian never had been more relieved.

"How is she?"

Marion snorted. "Why do you care? You threw her out."

"She- she was cheating on me!"

Marion was silent for a moment until she shock her head sadly. "She never could say no to Bob."

Brian rolled his eyes. "Obviously."

"Celeste can be so stupid sometimes... Bob is coming around every 2 years and asks her to be with him, she says yes and in the end he drops her again..."

A punch to the stomach couldn't have felt worse than to think of Celeste in the arms of another man... Brian gulped hard.

"So she's with Dylan?"

Marion sighed and seemed unsure for a moment, giving Brian momentarily hope. "In a way maybe."

"What does that mean?"

Marion still seemed unsure and bid her lip. Was it really that complicated? Either Celeste was single or she was with Dylan. There was no in between...

"She wanted to turn him down, but the situation changed and Bob promised to be there for her. She had no other option..."

Brian paled, but then anger replaced his dread.

"She had one, before I caught them making out in my kitchen!"

Marion looked even more torn. "Celeste loves you, but Dylan and her have a past, both can't let go. She wouldn't have left you for him though., especially not in her current state."

"Oh so I should be fine with having Dylan fuck my girlfriend whenever he feels like it?"

"Do you think that low of Celeste?" Marion exclaimed, now agitated as well. "She never would have gone through with it and you know that. So what if she made out with Dylan once, when you probably fucked half London behind her back?"

"I didn't cheat on her once! I wanted to ask her to fucking marry me!" Brian yelled out and only realised what he had admitted when he saw Marion's surprised face. She caught herself soon and she went back to her neutral slightly annoyed expression.

"Then tell her that before it is too late. I'll even give you her new address."

Brian was tempted, but he couldn't. He wouldn't survive Celeste telling him that she preferred Dylan over him. For his case it was best if he left everything behind him.

"I don't need it. I have a new girlfriend and we're engaged. She doesn't have any mess with some wannabee rock star."

"Yeah that's why you run after me, even though I slapped you," Marion retorted sarcastically. One could practically hear her eye roll. "Admit it, you're still in love with my sister."

"That doesn't concern you!"

Brian expected Marion to yell at him, but she suddenly looked very tired and sighed.

"I wish you were right, but for some reason my stupid sister loves you and I don't want her to leave to America again only to get her heart broken... If I get to choose between you and Dylan, I'll pick you. You might be a narcissistic ass hole, who-"

"She's leaving to America?" Brian interrupted Marion. Momentarily not caring about her calling him an asshole.

"Well why should you care?" She huffed and to Brian's dread she was right. He had slapped her and even worse he had let her go and had tried nothing to get her back... he had no right to care. Celeste might indeed be better off with Dylan.

"I-I I need to go back in," he mumbled and for a short moment he thought he spotted a flicker of sympathy in Marion's eyes.

"Well take this anyway, maybe you'll change your mind," She said and held out a note.

Celeste's new address written down in a neat handwriting.

Trembling Brian took the note from Marion, before he run back inside to his guests- distractions and drowned the nagging voices with alcohol and pills. He had lost count, but he just wanted to forget-forget about Celeste, Marion and the note that weighed so heavy in his pocket.

The party was still in full swing, but Brian just wanted to be alone or be with the only person that could take the pain away.

"I think I'm going for a midnight swim..." he said as he patted the note inside his pockets one last time.

*Lyrics by Elmore James.

Thank you for reading, voting and commenting. ❤❤❤

P.s.: maybe I should mention that there might be an epilogue.