Happy New Year! This is posted at midnight where I'm at. It's officially my half-birthday! I really wanted to do this part so here it is! Except this isn't called 'The Time Traveler's Pig', this is 'Tammie's Time Twist'... Yes? No? Maybe so? I don't know, it sounded better in my head...

~After Irrational Treasure~
I woke up feeling groggy. Today we were having a fair so I was up by 7:30. Mabel and Dipper were already up and gone from the room. I got some breakfast and as I grew more sober from sleep, I gained a headache. After breakfast I went into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror.

I had bags under my eyes and my face was all red. I felt my forhead and it was burning. I took a thermometer and took my temperature. When it was done it read 102.3°. Me: "Aw, not on fair day. Oh well. Maybe I'll get better before it's over."

I went outside and found Stan talking to Dipper and Mabel. Stan: "...I printed up a bunch of fake Safety Inspection Certificates. Go slap one on nything that looks like a law suit." Mabel: "Grunckle Stan, is that legal?" Stan: "When there's no cops around, anything's legal!" Me: "Those are some words to live by. Or at least words he lives by."

Stan: "Hey, Tammie! Why are you in you pajamas?" Me: "I have a hundred and two fever so I'm gonna sleep a while longer. I am in no condition to be running around outside in the heat all day." Stan: "Alright Tammie. Soos! How's that dunk tank coming along?"

He walked off to go talk to Soos. Mabel: "You have a fever? Nurse Mabel to the rescue!" Me: "It's alright Mabel, I can take care of myself. All I'm gonna do is sleep till the fever goes away, so Nurse Mabel isn't needed today."

She looked a little sad that I didn't need her help. Me: "You know what, do you know if we have any soup? I might want some before I go back to sleep." She instantly perked up at this. Mabel: "I remember seeing a can of soup in the kitchen somewhere. I could heat it up for you!"

I smiled at her excitement. Me: "That would be great, but only half the can. I ate breakfast not too long ago and I'm not exactly hungry right now." She nodded and practically dragged me back into the house.

She made me half of a can of chicken noodle soup and after I finished it, I went back to the attic and laid in Mabel's bed, and, with my insistence, Mabel went back outside to hang with Dipper while I slept. But I couldn't sleep. I was toasty warm underneath the blankets and was tired enough to go to sleep, but sleep wouldn't come.

Me: 'Stupid sleep. Fine, if my body wants to be this way then maybe I should go and enjoy the fair. But Mabel would never let me out of the bed if she saw me out and about. Then my body won't leave the bed.'

I consentrated and I entered the mindscape. I looked down and saw my body lieing unconsious in the bed. Me: "Perfect. Now I can enjoy the fair as well. Although I probably shouldn't leave my body for to long... I should be better in 4 or 5 hours."

I floated around outside to see all of the attractions up and running. Then I heard Stan on the speaker system. Stan: "It's 12 o'clock. The dunk tank is now open! Step right up and dunk me folks! I'm talking to you cut-offs." After a while of just floating around and looking at stuff I found Dipper and Wendy hanging out together.

Wendy: "Woah! Check it out." She pointed at a stand where you had to knock the bottles down, and on top where some weird looking platypus-like stuffed animals. Wendy: "I don't know if it's a duck or a bear but I want one.

They walked up to the booth and I followed them. Dipper: "My uncle taught me the secret to these games. You aim for the carney's head and take the prize when he's unconsious." Wendy: "Hehe, nice." Dipper took a ticket out of his pocket and handed it to the person behind the booth.

Dipper: "One ball please." Booth guy: "You only get one chance." Dipper looked at Wendy and then threw the ball. It bounced off of the bottom of the platform containing the bottles and hit Wendy in the eye. Wendy: "Ahh! My eye!" Me: "Now that has got to hurt." Dipper: "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh! Wendy, are you okay?" Me: "I remember getting hit in the face with a football once in school. It only hit me in the cheek, but it still hurt. (This actually happened to me in 4th grade) " Wendy: "Does it look swollen?" Her eye was already purple, but otherwise it wasn't too bad. Me: "Probably nothing major, but it should take a day or so for it to heal."

Dipper looked scared when he was shown her eye. Dipper: "Everything's going to be fine. Don't worry, I'll go get some ice." Then he ran off to get some ice from the cooler by the shack. Me: "Well... I'm just gonna move along now..." They couldn't see or hear me so I felt akward just floating there and watching the scene play out.

I floated away from Wendy and soon found Mabel looking in a pig pen. Mabel: "Sir, I must have that pig." She pointed at a cute little pig with a couple of dark patches on his skin.

Sprott: "Ah, old fifteen-poundy. So, how much you guessin' he weighs?" I facepalmed. Mabel: "Um, 15 pounds?" Sprott: "Are you some kind of witch? Well, here's your pig." He handed Mabel the pig and she took it with a squeal. Sprott: "And you'll be needing these." He held out to her a fork and knife. She glared at him. Sprott: "No? Suit yourself."

She hugged her new pig. Mabel: "Everything is different now." I looked at the position of the sun and assumed that it had been long enough for my body to have rested. I quickly floated back to the attic and back into my body.

I woke up with a start and took a huge gulp of air. I felt my forhead and it was actually a little cooler than normal. Me: "Nothing a little summer sun won't fix." I got out of Mabel's bed and got dressed. Once I had on my clothes I rushed outside and felt the sun instantly warming me up. Me: 'Time to have some fun!' (Pun intended)

I saw Stan in the dunk tank sitting on the seat dry as a raisin. I walked over to the booth and bought myself a ball. Me: "Hey Stan. I feel all better now, so prepare to be dunked!" Stan: "Tammie! Good to see you're all better. Good luck trying to dunk me though! Hahahaha!"

I stepped up to the line and held the baseball in my right hand. Me: "You see, the trick to this game is not only accuracy, but also intelligence." Then I threw it with all of my force and accuracy. It flew and hit the bullseye dead center. Then I used my powers and made the seat collapse. Stan: "Woah, woah!" He fell into the water and everyone cheered.

Me: "Ha! First try! Try and top that people!" I walked away having just made more people swarm around the dunk tank trying to dunk Stan, but to no one's avail. I walked around the fair for a while playing a game here and there. Then I found Dipper and Mabel by the Sloppy Toss game.

Dipper: "Mabel, do you ever wish you could go back and undo just one mistake?" Mabel: "Nope. I do everything right all the time!" Me: "I can think of a few things that I would change. For instance that one year of school where I did nothing but memorize the first 25 digits of Pi. My grades suffered an average of 12% in all of my classes, except for math where it basically just stayed the same. I almost didn't pass history (how ironic). I really should have done that over the summer."

Mabel: "Tammie! How are you feeling? I got a pig! His name's Waddles." Dipper: "Hey Tammie." Me: "Woah Dips, why you actin' so grump 'a grump?" Mabel: "Wendy's dating Robbie." Me: "Oh..." Dipper: "I mean Wendy is only dating Robbie because he was there with the ice, and she only needed ice because of the baseball, and I would have had the ice if it wasn't for, huh! That guy!" He pointed at a bald guy in a grey jumpsuit over by the ferris wheel.

Dipper: "Hey you, toolbelt! You ruined my life!" Dipper, who was obviously angry, walked over to the guy. ???: "Heh?" Dipper: "Don't 'heh' me, I've seen you before. What's your deal? Are you following us around?" Mabel: "And why are you bald? What's that all about?" Me: "Mabel, don't be rude."

The guy was all nervous and he started sweating. ???: "Uh... uh... my position has been compromised. Assuming stealth mode." He had a noticable stutter in his voice. He started fiddling with his watch and his grey suit changed colors to look like one of those emergency broadcasting system things. ???: "Color match, initiating color match." His suit changed to look like different parts around town.

???: "Come on, dangit!" His suit turned back to grey and he took out a red philips screwdriver and started screwing something in his watch. Mabel: "That's amazing. Huh, are you from the future of something?" I circled around the guy once. Me: "Judging from the advanced technology at his disposal, he either is an extremely smart inventor, or yes he must be from the future."

???: "Uh, no! W-who told you that? Memory wipe!" He threw a cloth at Mabel's face and she took it off and looked at it. Mabel: "This is a baby wipe." Me: "At least it's not used." I laughed a bit and Mabel and Dipper each gave a small snicker. ???: "Huh... alright, you've cornered me. I'm... a time traveler." Dipper: "So wait a minute. If you're from the future, do you have a time machine or something?" ???: "That's kinda how it works."

Wendy and Robbie appeared in a seat together on the farris wheel behind the guy in grey and Dipper got that look on his face. Dipper: "Can I barrow it?" ???: "No!" Dipper: "Come on. Can't I use your time machine just once?" He pulled out a black and yellow device that had a blue hourglass on it. ???: "Out of the question. You know this is sensitive, extremely complicated, time equiptment." Dipper: "It looks like a tape measurer."

???: "You shut your time mouth!" Dipper leaned over to us. Dipper: "This makin' sence to you?" Mabel: "Maybe he's just crazy?" Me: "I would love to closely examine that so-called time machine of his." ???: "Oh, you don't believe me?" He pulled the tape measurer out and let it snap back. Then he disapeared. Soon he reapeared wearing a poofy brown costume probably fom the early 1800's. ???: "Guess where I was." Mabel and Dipper: "Woah!" Me: "You mean when you were. Huh, huh?" ???: "That's right. 15 years ago there was a costume store right here. One second."

He pulled the tape measurer again and disappeared again. Then he returned in his normal grey suit with little fires on his shoulder and head. ???: "Aw heck. P-p-pat. P-pat Down." Me: "That outfit was actually a really good look on you. Ever think about changing your attire?" Mabel: "Tammie, you are completely right. Who are you again?" ???: "Blendin Blandon, Time Anomaly Removal Crew year twenty-sneventy-twelve (207(^~)012). My mission is to stop a series of time anomilies that are supposed to happen at this very location. Bu-but I don't see any anomilies. I don't know if it's some kind of paradox, or if I'm just really tired." Me: "How can you not know if you're tired? Anyway if you're talking about natural anomilies, the forest is full of them. But you said time anomilies. Can't help you there dude."

Dipper: "You know, you sound like you could use a break." Mabel took two tickets out of her pocket. Mabel: "Definately definitely. Might we recoment one of the various attractions at the Mystery Fair?" Blendin: "You know what? What the heck, I'm worth it! But I'm watching you." He took the tickets and walked off towards the Turning Barrels ride. Me: "Alright, what are you up to?"

Dipper: "I've got a plan so that Wendy doesn't go out with Robbie." Me: "I'm pretty sure messing with time is dangerous... But I love dangerous junk. Let's do this!" As soon as Blendin got on the ride, we stole his toolbelt that he left with Soos.

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We met up in the dining room in the Mystery Shack. The time machine laying on the table before us. Dipper: "Here it is guys. Our ticket to any moment in history." Mabel: "Let's go get two dodos and force them to make out!" Me and Dipper: "No!" Dipper: "We gotta be smart about this. All that paradox talk kinda freaked me out. All I'm gonna do is go back and fix my one mistake. If I don't miss that baseball throw, I won't hit Wendy in the eye, and Robbie won't comfort her, and they won't start going out."

Mabel: "I coming too. I want to relive the greatest moment of my life, winning Waddles." She kissed the pig on his cheek. Me: "I'm coming for the adventure! Plus I was in bed all day. I'm gonna have some fun!" Dipper picked up the time travel device and stretched it out for it to read 6 hours.

Dipper looked at Waddles. Dipper: "See you later." Mabel: "See you earlier!" Me: "Oh!" We did a three way hight five and we went back in time. Dipper put the machine down and put out the small flame on his hat. I quickly picked it up and put it in my pocket. We all ran to the door and opened it to see the sun still high in the sky.

Stan: "It's 12 o'clock. The dunk tank is now open! Step right up and dunk me folks! I'm talking to you cut-offs." Dipper: "Do over?" Me and Mabel: "Do over!" Dipper ran off to find Wendy and Mabel ran off to get Waddles.

Me: 'What to do, what to do? I put my hands in my pockets and felt the time machine. Then an idea formed in my head. After making sure no one was looking, I went back to the shack. I walked into the copying room and took the tape measurer out of my pocket.

I placed it on the machine and turned it on. Then I made a single copy. It came out and I laid it on the floor. The time machine took shape and I picked it up. It was a visually perfect replica. I pulled out the tape measurer just to make sure that that was the same as well when it slipped out of my fingers and snapped back. My eyes went wide as I was sent back in time.

I arrived in the new time and looked around. The place was more cluttered with papers than before. Me: 'Maybe I went forwards in time?' I catiously opened the door to the hallway and looked around. I could hear voices coming from downstairs. One of them was clearly Stan's except less croaky, but the other voice I couldn't quite pinpoint.

I pocketed the 2 time machines and quietly teleported downstairs and into the basement. There I saw what I had been dreaming about for the last few days. Stan and Ford's fight... The fight that caused the portal accident.

Stanley: "You left me behind you jerk! It was supposed to be us forever! You ruined my life!" Stanford: "You ruined your own life!" Stanford pulled on the book and kicked Stanley back into the desk where he was branded in his right shoulder. Stanley screamed out in agony as the hot metal burnt his skin.

Stanford: Stanley! Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. Are you al-" Stanley hit him in the face causing Stanford to drop the jounal and stumble back and over the lever. Stanley picked up the jounal and held on tight to his burnt sholder.

Stanley: "Some brother you turned out to be..." I couldn't think strait and ran towards the twins. I couldn't stop myself. Stanley: "You care more about your dumb mysteries than your family?..." Me: "Nooooo!" I left hooked Stanley in the side of the head and the unexpected blow caused him to fall down onto the ground.

I stood there breathing heavily and waited, both Stan's staring at me with confusion on their faces. Then I realized what I just did. Me: "Oh-oh no! What did I do!? This isn't supposed- I didn't mean for this- Oh god..." I took a step back as the full realization of what I did came crashing down on me. Then I did the only thing I could think of. I ran.

I ran strait into the elevator and pressed the button to take me up. But as the slow ride up began, I walked back and went against the wall. Then I slid down and sat there in the corner of the elevator. All of what just happened replayed in my mind and I just sat there stunned. The elevator dinged signaling I had reached my designated floor, but I didn't care. The doors opened and I just sat there. (Why does the rhyming keep happening!?)

Me: "I just punched Stanley... in the past... I just changed the future..." The doors closed and the elevator went back down. Me: "I just changed, the future." Now normally I wouldn't be like this, but I had been dreaming about doing what I just did for countless nights. And now that it's actually happened, I've just gone into pure shock. I was unresponsive to the world.

The elevator dinged again and the doors opened. The portal was shut down and the Stan twins were waiting for the elevator. Stanford looked a little shocked when he saw that I was still on the elevator, but Stanley looked like he wanted to punch me back. I didn't really notice. I just sat there in the corner in shock, just staring off into nothingness.

3rd Person for writing purposes
Stanford could tell something was wrong with the girl but Stanley wasn't so observant. Stanford catiously walked over to the girl and shook her a little. Stanford: "Miss? Miss, can you hear me? Miss?" He took out his pocket light and shined it in her eyes. Stanford moved over a bit when his brother came over and squated next to the girl.

Stanley: "You know this girl?" Stanford: "Never seen her before, but she looks familiar somehow." Stanley then pulled his fist back at punched her shoulder... hard. The girl recoiled at impact and her head hit the wall, knocking her out. Stanford: "What was that Stan!? She could have needed our help!"

Stanley: "Then why did she hit me!?" Stanford: "I don't know, but she seemed like she hadn't really realized what she was doing until afterwords. I have my suspicions, but I want to ask her some questions first." Stanford pushed the button on the elevator and it took them to the highest floor. Then when it stopped and the doors opened, he picked up the girl and took her to his room.

Stanley followed them and watched his brother and this new girl with curiosity as his anger faded away. Stanford laid the girl on the couch and covered her with a blanket. Then the two Stan twins went out of the room and closed the door.