I think in a way, I wanted Alpha Natalya to be mine because she felt the same that I felt when I lost my mate. I used the feelings we both were faced with, my feelings for her, and the tragedy of never seeing our destined mate as an excuse to fill the empty space in my soul. Now, I can see it was foolish of me. She was one of the lucky ones who have discovered that her mate didn't die. That her mate was still alive.

How great will it be to find out that mine was too?

Will I be where I am now or will I have pups running around the house already?

The thought brought stabbing pain in my chest and I inhaled sharply to ease the pressure. It was useless to think about it, at least, I try not to think about it. I knew if I didn't stop myself from hurdling in that directions I will soon get lost again.

I can hear Misha humming a tune next to me. Her face turned towards her side window. Her fiery red hair now tied up into a loose bun at the top of her head. A few rebellious strands softly around the back of her neck.

She was different.

The Misha I remembered was more reserved. When I looked into her eyes that night when she was drunk, all I saw was sadness and heartache. She was in a different kind of pain. I don't like getting close to women. In fact, I haven't touched one in the longest time but with her I couldn't say no. I held her to sleep that night and I couldn't find it in myself to let her go. I wanted to protect this broken Misha, of that, I knew for a fact.

On the other hand, the woman next to me humming a tune was a happier version of her. She was brighter and entirely clueless. She was sassy and her eyes held so much innocence. Again, I felt another protective instinct take over. I knew that I wanted to protect this Misha. This Misha was not hurt. She wasn't in any pain.

She was happy.

"Laurel," I will never get use to that name.

She stopped humming and turned to me. Her eyebrows shooting up in silent curiosity. I wanted to know what happened to her after she left Alpha Natalya's territory.

"Do you remember what happened to you? How did you find yourself in our town?" I asked.

Her smile slipped a little. I kept my eyes focused on the road but I could feel the uncertainty rolling around in the air. I couldn't tell if she wasn't sure if she should tell me or if she wasn't sure what happened.

"I don't remember everything. I tried so hard for the first few months that was all I did. I pushed myself to remember something but I can't remember anything." Her wavering and frustrated voice told me she was telling the truth.

"What can you remember?" I asked.

"Waking up alone in the middle of nowhere. It was night time and rain was starting to fall heavily. I think it was part of the reason I woke up. I felt like the air in my lungs were taken away forcefully and no matter how much I tried to breath I couldn't. It felt like someone set my lungs on fire. I remember feeling frightened and unsafe." She looked straight ahead with me at the open road. Her eyes glazed over as she remembered the night.

"I felt something in my guts telling me I needed to run. I couldn't stay there. It wasn't safe."

"Do you feel another presence within you?" I asked.

She pouted as she mulled over my question, "What do you mean?"

"It's like a conscience—a second voice or something." I didn't know how to explain it to her without telling it to her that she was a werewolf.

"Doesn't everyone have a conscience?"

"Yes, but more spiritual." I persisted.

She hummed, "I guess I feel it sometimes."

"Did you felt it that night when you woke up?"

She was quiet for the longest time. I took the longer way home. We were passing through some quiet country roads.

"I think I did." She replied unsure.

Do you remember any kind of smell or notice anything different about your surroundings?" I questioned further. I needed to know more.

"No, I was too afraid." She responded and I sighed in disappointment. "I remember running for a long time until I made it into town. When I got here, some men greeted me at the border. They must have noticed how dirty and shabby I looked because they took me in."

"Dirty and shabby?" I probed further.

She sighed and wrapped her arms closely to her body as if shielding herself from an invisible chill.

"I woke up with my clothes all torn up. My chest was wrapped with dirty bandages." She whispered in a monotonous voice. "I have scars on my body. It wasn't self-inflicted, if you are wondering. The doctor that treated me that night told me that it looked like I was tortured."

I slammed down on my breaks hard in the middle of the street. She screamed and put her hands out in front of her. When the vehicle came to a stop and she found no threat, she turned to face me angrily.

"You have scars on your body?" I growled.

Her eyes widened almost frightenedly and for a second I thought she was going to freak out from my animalistic growl. Instead, she shrugged it off and glared.

"What the hell was that?" She asked.

"Answer my question." I ordered, holding back the rage that was threatening to escape.

She looked at me strangely like I must have sprouted a second head in under two seconds.

"дерьмо́! (Shit!)" I cursed when she didn't answer me. The woman didn't realize that I didn't like the fact that she was hurt. At the same time, a part of me was telling me that it wasn't her fault that she couldn't remember. It still didn't satisfy the blood thirst inside of me.

"How come no one told me you had scars on your body? And you don't even remember who hurt you? What if this person isn't dead?"

I won't be able to protect you if I can't see the threat.

"They are just scars but the doctor's words did make me think about that. I wondered who was cruel enough to inflict so much scars on my body. I remember staying inside the mansion for two weeks. People had to bribe me to leave." She finally spoke.

"Laurel," I felt a little powerless right now. I couldn't save her before those scars and it was what made me insane.

"Hell." I muttered.

My hands tightened on the steering wheel and I increased pressure on the brakes. I wanted to find that person and tear him or her apart. Misha's hand appeared in my blurred vision. She placed it on my arm and squeezed.

"I'm okay. I'm safe." She said softly.

I blinked and looked at her. She gave me a small reassuring smile. I knew it was what she told herself repeatedly but I nodded to confirm it for her. She is safe. As long as she is on my territory, I won't let anyone touch her.

"We should get going." I said as I release my foot off the brakes and continued driving.

Ten minutes later, we arrived back at the mansion. I pulled the car up to the front of the home before turning off the ignition and getting out of the car. I popped the trunk and watched as Misha hurried out of my car.

I pointed to the trunk once she met my eyes, "Carry the stuff."

She looked like she wanted to say something and I almost wished she did but the sight of her carrying the many bags in her arms stopped me. She looked silly with the bags piled and slung all over her arms. I walked to the trunk to make sure she got everything.

I saw that she left the bag with my boxers. Picking it up, I placed it on top of her pile of bags.

"Michael, a little help?" She squeaked from behind the bags. I fought back a smile and turned my back.

"Hurry and follow me upstairs, Laurel." I ordered and started walking.

After a few seconds, I heard her little feet following me. I was surprised that she made it through the foyer, up the stairs, down the hall to my bedroom. She was doing so well until she tripped over the threshold of my doorway.

I turned just in time to see the bags of clothes flying out of her hands. The look of horror on her face was comical as she scrambled to keep herself steady. Her arms wrapped around me waist as her face landed in my chest. I had to steady both of us by holding her arms.

She peeled away from chest with an apologetic facial expression, "Well, at least your clothes made it to the bedroom."

I rolled by eyes and set her straight before bending down to pick up the rest of my scatter new clothes. She quickly followed suit in picking up everything. We were almost done picking up the clothes when she let out a squeal and my boxers flew out of her hand and towards me. It landed on my chest and onto the ground.

"Oh my god! I am so sorry! I did not mean to touch your boxers."

"Why are you surprised? Don't you fold my boxers when you do my laundry?"

She opened her mouth to say something but then closed it.

"I actually have Sebastian fold them."

It was my turn to be shocked, "You let a man touch my boxers?"

"Well, did you want me to touch it?" She looked at me flabbergasted at my indication.

Rolling my eyes, I picked up the boxer and walked over to my bed where I threw the pile of clothes. When I turned around she was right behind me. I knocked her almost off her feet. I didn't hear her.

My arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her close. She was now trapped between my arms. Her eyes widened even more as her lips parted slightly.

I couldn't tear my gaze away even if I wanted to. It has been forever since she has been this close to me. My mind flashed with the memory of our last kiss. The one before she disappeared. It was so quick yet it had me yearning for more.

Before I knew it, my head was lowering and my lips were inches away from hers. My eyes were focused on those lips and just when I was about to get a sweet taste of them. She covered my lips with one of her hand that was trapped between my chest.

She pushed me back with a look of determination. I let her go with a great amount of reluctance. I really wanted that kiss.

She straightened her shirt and threw the rest of the clothes onto the bed.

"If this will be all, I have to go now." She said. She looked very much affected in the enclosed space that we had just a moment ago. I wanted to see what she will do if I really did kiss her. I took a step towards her but she spun on her feet and ran out the door.

When she was gone, I fell onto the bed and covered my face with my hands.

What was I thinking?

I shouldn't be kissing Misha but goddess there was a part of me that needed to.