24th December 1964

Sleigh Bells, tinsel, Christmas tree and me.

Cosy and warm sipping hot cocoa by the fire, recalling the past year.. finding a brother, a lover, a host of new friends plus a new Dad, Jim. I was embraced, loved and felt adored.

Da was so much better. Since August Ange and Ruthie had been a constant in the house and now, they readied for their first Christmas together.

John was going to visit his Aunt Mimi and Paul and I would drive up to Dad's soon, hopefully on the 27th, as the band were playing right over the Christmas period from the 24th of December to New Year's Eve all at one spot, the Hammersmith Odeon in London.

Yep even Christmas Day.

The boys weren't too far away but still far enough for the bulk of the evenings to be lonely and the afternoons to be quiet.

Ten mile between overwhelming noise and stone cold silence, well maybe some Bing Crosby and his merry band of crooners on the radio.

A snowstorm had hit earlier in the week and the power went out twice, tonight another storm was looming according to the radio which I had tuned to the BBC.

I stoked the fire with another log and replenished the stack beside the hearth, the pile near the shed was now wet and low, if we had another storm there would be no fire or accompanying warmth that she gave.

The power cut first then I heard a a loud creak like a branch was bent to its limits .... Most probably the branch overhanging the patio.

It had been low with the heavy weight of snow when I checked the woodpile on twilight. Perhaps, by morning, it would have bowed to the snow and snapped altogether.

Gathering the candles and matchbox, placing them on the dining table in anticipation of another power outage I quizzed the lack of jiggling in the matchbox as it fell to the tabletop from the top of the candles.

Damn Paul and his smoking, three matches left! I had a new box here only three days ago. Oh well nothing much I can do, I'll just have to be thrifty with my strikes.

I settled back down by the fireside. Glowing embers of orange and red. Just me and the crackle and snap of the fire. A glance of the clock told me that the concert had just started and the boys would be bayed at by thousands yet again. The pages of my romance novel turned as my quiet evening rolled along slowly. 

It all started with a bit of smoke.

Just a wiff I had smelt as I woke hours later on the sofa. The fire was settled nicely and had red-hot embers glowing like the devil.

I was assailed by more smoke hitting my nose and the fire died just that little bit more as I sat blinking tiredly. Rubbing my eyes, I stood and walked closer to the hearth.

Strange.

Smoke swirled strangely as I stared.

I decided to open the window a crack and hoped the smoke would abate. All I achieved in return was a blizzard of snowflakes attacking my eyes and face; I shut the window fast.

A creak was all it took for the snow to fall inside instead of out.

A big blob of dirty slurry mess.

Coloured from off white grey to black sooty watery snow and upon the top, like icing, a sprinkle of fresh white- my own mini wonderland lay melting at my feet along with a few halves of chimney bricks tumbled too. The chimney now, seemed to be sealed shut; hopefully no more snow could descend.

The fire was out.

I cranked the front door open, snow had piled a foot or two against it, but I could manage to stomp through to the garage knowing the snow shovel was beside the door, cold ice slapped at me from all sides and made its way down the back of my heavy jacket.  wind whipped at my hair, my beanie was useless in the conditions.

The garage door was stuck solid with a good foot or two of snow drift deposited by the entrance. I couldn't reach the shovel to clear the path to get the car to travel to warmth. The street itself was as dark as the house, not a light on in sight. I shouldn't walk in this either.

I returned inside shivering and shaking slamming the door shut against the push of snow, discarding the wet jacket, wrapping a blanket around my shoulders instead.

Coughing from the fires leftover smoke, I made a silly decision to open the windows in the lounge room. Hopefully it would clear the smoke that was throughout the house but decidedly worst in that room. 

Just for half an hour open. Just to clear the smoke.

That branch I had heard heaving previously, snapped and woomph! Snow plus the tree branch crashed down, some pouring and poking in through the window and into the room.

I couldn't shut the window now.

I guess it would have broken anyhow why with the branch so close but I still felt stupid for my folly of opening the window in the first place.

Picking up the telephone from the cradle I thought who to ring...The fire department? The police?

There isn't a fire, or a burglary in progress, perhaps a death soon as I freeze but I can't call that in to the station-yet.

I scrolled the rolodex and found Patties number then held the phone to my ear for the dial tone. Nothing, nada, ni. No dial tone, the line was dead.

Great....

Snow.

Cold.

Stranded.

I repeat Cold. Because it's bloody freezing!

Returning to the living room in my thickest jacket I climb on the armchair sat beside the smashed, damaged, branch decorated, window. Careful to step around shards of glass that litter the hardwood floor as I go. With a spare blanket in hand I try and attach it to the curtain rail to stop some of the wind and ice from lashing the room.

Shoving all the furniture toward the driest part of the room, temporary repairs completed, I then walked in the kitchen and decided to gas myself with the oven instead. 

Well I didn't mean to.

I didn't know the outlet was bung  from the icy cold snap and that the gas would take a rest with me. 

I fell asleep.

*************************

A door slammed and a voice yelled, then hollered twice more then screamed my name.

I couldn't move I was so damn comfortable; Half asleep, hugging the kitchen table, two blankets slung over my shoulder's.

At first, I wasn't sure where I was, the candle was snuffed out and my throat felt thick and I tasted gas on my tongue and smelt it when I breathed. I tried to roll and lift from the table but a pillow caught my face, I sat up immediately regretting the decision to do so.

How did I get in bed?

Piled high with blankets I laid back down, the warmth was better than the freezing icy air of the room.

"You're awake" Pauls voice sounded relieved as he stood in the doorway in his thick hairy furry brown bear coat. I don't think it was a real bear but it's scary nonetheless. "...Finally"

My head hurt and I sat up slower this time reaching for the icy water beside the bed, sipping it and sloshing a bit about my mouth to see if the horrid taste had left my tongue, it had a little bit. "I was in the kitchen; the fire went out"

"You damn well nearly carked it Abby, the gas was bloody thick through the house. I thought you might be dead when I saw you" Paul walked across the room and took the glass gently from my slow fingers, placing it with a loud bang on the side table, sitting it beside his rude cuff links that he got in America when he was a knife salesman alongside sat the usual half empty pack of Marlboro cigarettes that were strewn around the house.

"We're stuck the night anyway. I've tried to dig for the car, the phone's dead, nothing works, shift over" Walking quickly around the bed Paul took off his large hairy bear coat and laid it over the bed. He hopped in and I got out just as fast, then fell on my bum with a thud.

"Geeezus it's freezing!" I jumped up and down looking about the room, Paul's room my sleepy brain finally realised, then back to Paul lost somewhere under the mass of blankets and coat  he had flung on top.

"No shit" Paul barked then sat up "Get in here now"

"What!?!?! No!" I picked up the bear and hugged it to my front.

"Ab put the coat down and get in here, you'll freeze, this is the best option. The only option"

Paul survivalist. Saviour of cold gassed women, had a point, but that was beside the point.

"But can't we drive or walk to –"

"No Abigail, come on I know it's inconvenient but you'll just have to put up with it, ok. Come on I'm tired, it's fucking freezing and I wanna sleep" Paul was right it was f' ing freezing, I bolted back into the bed and snuggled ever lower under the blankets that surrounded us.

"Get your feet off me"

"But I'm cold" I whined.

"You got out of the bed, now get your feet off my leg"

"But ya so toasty warm, Paulie" I whinged hoping I would garner some sympathy. My backflip from not wanting to be in the bed at all, turning full circle. I now wanted to lie overly close or on top of him to drain his toasty warm skin of heat to light my own.

"Ouch! What was that for Abigail?"

"My knees are cold I thought-"

"you can't put your knees in my back Abigail"

"Not in, on" I giggled and snuggled closer and laid my purple hands on his warm chest.

"Fuck off!" Paul groaned and did a grumpy dance in the bed.

"NO, this was your solution, I will now be warm" I huffed and put my hands back on his approximately three layers of shirts that covered his chest.

"Abigail, I swear... please rub your feet up and down the bed before you put the bloody icicles back near me!" Paul groaned sullenly, I slid my feet away rubbing one on the sheets and poking the other out the bed behind me.

.
..
...

"Motherfucker!"

I was tossed on my back and my arms were pinned down, I screamed. My foot wasn't that cold.

"It wasn't that cold!!"

"You did that on purpose, stuck it out of the bed and froze it solid then shoved it on my leg" Paul was like the darkness, a shadow crouching low as he pinned me still with his hands.

I threaded my foot back around his calf and waited and waited.

"That's it!" He yelped.

I wasn't pinned by arms or legs or nails or bricks or locomotives or walls or piles of Christmas presents.

I was pinned under McCartney, all 150 pounds of toasty warm Paul.

"Paul"

"Hmmmm"

"Your pretty heavy, you know"

"Yep"

"Like really heavy"

"And your rude point is"

"Nothing, just making conversation"

"Go to sleep"

"You're staying. There...... On me. On top of me"

"Yep, quite comfortable actually"

"Are you snuggling into my neck"

"I may.. be"

"O...K...."

"Ok" he laughed, a muffled murmur against my neck.

I was warm. Actually, I was warmer than warm, I was way more like super incredibly melted molten lava... Steaming sauna temperatures.

Deju vu hit me hard as we snuggled- I attempted to switch off my boy girl senses and tried replacing them with survival duties- for warmth... but I was so warm and toasty and my senses rocked. He was all body pressed to mine. He smelt so good too, my nose wasnt assailed by gas anymore.

No, now my nose was assailed by his lovely aftershave, mints plus a little smokey smoke smell from the downstairs disaster zone. A tiny quiver starting in my pinky finger flowing through to my middle digits then my thumb and as they quivered they moved between us. Warm, so warm. We held hands between our bodies, he lifted his head and his lips pressed gently on my cheek.

I was toasty and warm all night long..