Back to Your Normal Programming

Richie went to hospital last week to get his tonsils out, he was all over the news, I mean I like to know how people are but on tv national news- blah. John wants to call up about his toileting habits and have that on the news too but it's really not appropriate, Brian has his hands full with the media and boys that's for sure.

Pattie and George are off to Nassau, which is in the Bahamas, tomorrow. They are gone for a week and a half, sun, sand and swimming so lucky to be away from chilly England.

"It's totally not fair" I took the kettle off the stove and sorted Pattie and my drinks, cocoa today, the wind was frightful and Pattie's nose was bright red from the cold.

"January isn't far away, Abby, then all the divorce and cloak and dagger will be long forgotten. It must be so hard to watch them trot off out the door without you, though" Pat's wiped her nose and I wished her well, taking a cold on holiday was the worst, I would think.

"John's off to Sardinia in January with Mo and Richard so it's even further along than New Year's Day"

"You need to focus on Christmas at least then you're half way to getting to the end of this boredom"

I hated the waiting, the ticking of the clock but if I wanted all this to work out next year I had to bide my time now. John wasn't helping much, the four-headed monster was a given most every day, where one went they all did but Paul oft would arrive home alone and mumble about song-writing or visits to tailors or ignore my questioning glance and take two stairs at a time to get away from my frown.

I took to writing in my journal which came to contain all my thoughts and hopes, worries, dreams. I also got back to drawing, sketching which was great.

If Freda called I was out to Saville Row to sort the post and answer fan mail, many hundreds of letters contained presents, questions, underwear.... Ugh. But there's a problem with that isn't there John turns up and I'm off down the street and he then starts banging on to Paul about my disappearing act.

Sometimes I want a body double- one that sits waiting by the door and the other to be off doing something with all the hours.

"I suppose so, Paul has told me to decorate the house up and that will be fun, I want to cook puddings and things so I will lose a few days busy there"

"Jane back?"

"Yes, they are on again, don't say anything, but she's flying off just before Christmas, I saw her plane ticket" I whispered, Paul wasn't home but I felt like this needed to be hush hush. "Paul hasn't said anything, so I don't even think he knows" Pats and I both frowned at that.

"Oh, she flits around alright, at least I can stay mainly in London for my jobs or I'm home by the evening, much easier to keep George happy that way" Pattie stood and looked out into the garden then washed her cup up. "Abigail, do you mind John going to the club when George and I go?"

"Well I went that first time with Georgie, you and John, without the press" but with Mick Jagger, I grimaced then turned off that vision "but since then, they nosed around if John even stood beside me. Paul has to come and if he's off with Jane, it's useless. I guess I gave up bothering to organise when everyone was free"

"Hmmmm, well I want to go out when we get home so you tee it up with loverboy and Paulie and we'll have fun, ok!?"

"Loverboy, he has to be around for that"

"Arrr come on huny, he has to stay at his house a few nights a week you know that"

"Oh I know that, but a phone call or something to say which night might be nice, he just decides and I'm sitting here like a shag on a rock, without the shag!"

Pattie giggled at the last bit and we walked into the living room, where George and Richie were watching telly.

"Hullo. it's the model and the egg baker" Richie teased.

"Will I ever live that down?!"

"No, probably not luv but you were ever so funny, wasn't she George?"

"Oh, yea was quite a lot of Abigail we got to see that day" George smirked and I banged an elbow in his side. "Where are Paul and John they should have been here an hour ago?"

I ignored the question, how do I know, they don't tell me "I like how Patties the model and I'm the bloody baker, really can't I get another part of the day characterised, Richie?"

"Well I'll 'ave a think and see what I can do, what colour was your lingerie that day?" Crimson flooded my cheeks making Richie grin wickedly.

"I know" George had a moment of clarification, an idea but he shifted away from my elbow so I was cringing in the doorway without his innocent side to elbow hard "LavLeaves, Milkyjoints, ohh ohh NymphLeaves"

George ran around the coffee table to get away from the beating I was about to inflict on him, we hurtled out into the front hall and banged into John at speed sending him crashing into Paul which sent Paul on a path to connect with the edge of the front door.

"Owwww, watch it"

"Oh, look out now Abb you've made Paul get a bruise on his pretty face"

"Fuck off George" Paul groaned holding his cheek and eye area.

"I was just stating the facts"

"Paul, come on, let me sort a cold cloth, you don't like it when someone says put a lump of steak on it do you?"

"No, owww, stop poking it John!"

"That's going to swell bigger than your-"

"John" I cautioned, he grinned as I led Paul through to the kitchen "...Fetch the camera"

"Really, you are turning into his evil twin, Abigail." Paul sooked.

"That can't be right, that would-be incest" John laughed then went to fetch the instant camera from the bedroom- don't ask.

"Come on let me look, take your hand away" I kissed the nasty red spot on his cheek softly, trying to soften the blow of my teasing.

"It hurts there too" I kissed his other cheek he pointed to "and there" his forehead "and-"

"Paul" I warned and got to covering his eye with the tea-towel soaked in water from the refrigerator "Give you an inch and you take a mile"

"I'll give you an inch or 8" John wandered back in "What do you say Abbs bit of slap and tickle, feel up my pickle"

"Such children"

John picked me up and sat me on the sideboard.

"He's finally admitted it's a pickle and not a zucchini then" Richard pushed past George then sat at the table trying to poke Paul in the eye "I'll never think you a liar again Abigail!"

"Richard! I didn't say anything of the sort take that back! ..... Sure, a slim cucumber but zucchini no" I was attacked and Pattie had to change the subject to save me.

"OK you lot pipe down. Now, after our amazing holiday, I would like us ALL to have a nice night out, perhaps at a club" Pattie stood hands on hips, she was so diminutive but her voice not so, it was strong and all the boys stood at attention "Including Abigail- John, Paul, she needs a night out"

'Geez it sounds like I never take her out. Why only yesterday I journeyed out to the garbage can with her, isn't that so luv?" He looked at me, smiling cheekily with those lovely milky brown orbs, I smiled wanly back.

"That was three days ago. You haven't been here since then"

"I haven't?!" John held my hips thinking over his days "I'm sure I was here -"

"No"

"Really? well it's been busy, Abs, sorry" John shifted gears back to his maniac self "Well then everyone excuse us while Abigail and I go upstairs to get reacquainted" He lifted me up to carry me away.

"No" I muttered, he was mid stride out the room when I hit him with a word he doesn't usually hear. All the others got very interested in the conversation at that point.

"No?.... don't be daff"

"N.O spells No, John Lennon" I spelt it so that he wasn't confused.

"But you just said-"He stood in the doorway and everyone else squeezed around us to scatter off, Pattie waving from the front door dragging George with her home.

"I know what I said but that doesn't mean the minute you set foot in this house you have the right to shag me"

"Abby-"

"Don't Abby me, I love you heaps but I'm not the spare wheel here for when you need it" I bit my lip and wondered if he would get really mad.

"I've been busy-" He tried to save himself, he set me down then clung to my shoulders, squeezing them.

"Yes ok, but how is it that none of the others have been overly busy, just you. Fair enough you go back to your flat some nights so not to stir the newspaper men but I don't hear boo from you in days. It's not right"

John led me into the music room and shut the door, it was very quiet and I couldn't hear anything but our breathing. As he sat on the stool by the piano, I lingered by the drum set.

The room was a little tidier as I had shifted bits and pieces around much to Paul's delight, Mal helped me set the drum kit up properly but Paul didn't know that, he just thought I was a genius.

Even with the room clean the minute dust particles in the air glittered in the afternoon sun that flooded the room.

"Abby its hard you know, what with us not being able to go out. I'm a social animal and need to have a night out.... occasionally" That full face of guilt looked at me, there was more than he said out loud staring at me.

"I knew it" I was stood in front of him now, he looked up and I gulped at that face, the lipstick collars that I washed and scrubbed by hand in the past stared back at stupid idiotic me.

It was like a freight train the pain, the heart ripping but it was also an affirmation of something I already knew. "You cheat when I'm not near. I've always known in my heart of hearts, but don't use me the days you don't feel like going out with others"

'You're the only one I love"

"When it's convenient!" I spat and turned towards the door trying to pull it open to leave.

"No Abigail I try really, I promise I will get better. I.... I knew on that day you smoked the joints that I needed to sort myself. Before I lose you" As I held the handle John hugged me from behind turning me into his chest "You love me for me and I will be better. Let me prove it"

His kiss was soft and heartfelt and full of promise, I hardly felt his lips brush over mine as I grabbed his shirt, thinking I need him to know what I feel, that I'm someone that needs to be as loved as I love him.

"I do love you Abby" muttering against my lips kissing me as he spoke softly "Let's go out, just you and me" kisses spread over my skin, my eyes and cheeks and neck and back to my lips. My, he was a fine kisser, he was ..... but I realised problems as his lips floated a trail of promises along my cheek.

"And the press and the moral rights groups and the fans. We can't go out alone in the day time" I pushed back a bit to look at his face, watch his expression.

"We could go at night, middle of the night" John was working up his excitement at creeping out late. "Even a stroll round the downtown shops, that would-be gear, right? All the decorated up for Christmas shop window displays, maybe the late billing at the movie theatre" He was really trying and I wanted to make it work, for us.

"Along the Thames?"

"Yea a nice stroll along the Thames"

"It will be awfully cold"

"Well aren't you lucky cause I have two arms that long to hold you!" We were in a big bear hug now and made it out of the music room to the couch, John pulling me onto his lap.

"Isn't that a song?" Smiling as my fingers began stroking along the back of his neck, turning into a loose relaxed hug.

Yes.... but it works! A Beatle lyric a day to be inserted into the English vocabulary" His grin was infectious just like his love, curling around me taking me into his sphere. I don't care about the others they aren't here, I am. If I can cope with the transgressions I can hold him to me for a little longer. Right or wrong I get to have more with him, time, love, fun.

"Like when I say wash the dishes John then pause and go Please Please Me"

"Yep, exactly"

"Wash the dishes John! Please, please me!"

"Can I skip the dishes and just please you"

"Nope"

"Well I'll wash then please you .... twice ok?"

"Alright, I do... got lips that long to kiss you and keep you satisfied"

He had me dropped quickly on the couch as he rushed off like a lunatic toward the kitchen, shoving an unsuspecting Paul out of the way making him hit the wall and yell obscenities.