I stepped down off the landing and descended the staircase treading slowly. Like a lamb facing the slaughter. My usual bolt downstairs was now something more akin to being as laid back as a beach recliner.

I came to a stop at the foot of the staircase and watched hurricane Paul.

He was looking in cabinets, the storage containers on the shelf over the stove, then turning, tapping his chin and opening doors all about. I had cleaned top to bottom in there so I guess my rearrangement may not be as good as I had hoped.

I made my legs move toward the destructive conditions in the kitchen, my breath held, my heart racing.

"Looking for something?" gathering up a pile of tea-towels I had folded the night before last, then forgotten about, during my escapades with John, the chicken I stepped around Paul, placing them in the correct drawer. He wasn't going to look at me anytime soon. As soon as I spoke, his eyes dropped and he crouched down to attack the lower cupboards along under the double sink.

"Ummm, tea bags?"

"Well they aren't with the cleaning products silly, try the pantry they are on eye level, on the right"

"Yours or mine?"

"Pardon?"

"Your eye level, or mine" Paul never looked at me and I raised my eyebrows, then did a slight eye roll behind his back- men.

The white t-shirt pulled taut as he shuffled tins around on the bottom shelf, his jeans fitting him nicely as he crouched.

"Oh, really Paul, I am like a half centimetre shorter than you, will it make that much of a difference to which shelf. Just step aside and I'll make the tea" I stepped into the opened pantry beside Paul. He hadn't moved so we stood shoulder to shoulder in the door space. In my perennial vision I could see Paul giving me the once over. I grabbed the tea bags in seconds.

I ran a nervous hand down the deep purple capris and plucked the material of the ruffled cream shirt as I waited impatiently for the kettle to boil, the silence was deafeningly loud.

Tea and toast we ate silently. Him fiddling with the butter, smearing it all over his plate as if painting a picture and me, watching him intently, waiting for the words.

As I refilled his cup I finally got a half smile. The one he keeps for when he's told a sly joke or pulling my leg. I grinned back, gawd, he could slay with that face.

"So"

He speaks!

Excellent... he isn't mute.

"Are you mad at me?" I blurt out. "Disappointed?"

"What, you? naooooo" He didn't sound that convincing, I tapped the spoon after I stirred his sugars in to the pale tea and was rewarded with an unguarded thank-you grin. "I spoke to Jane, ya know"

"Oh yeah, how is she?"

"Good, good.... grand" He rubbed his face and shot me a (still) disbelieving look "She's still over there. Won't be back for a bit, but it's ok I sup'ose. We spoke for about half hour you know, cleared up a bit of stuff"

"That's good isn't it" I patted his hand encouragingly when he pushed the butter back to the centre of the table. Paul turned my hand palm side up and drew circles and traced the lines, I wiggled my hand, he was tickling me and enjoyed antagonising me greatly so it seems.

"I thought you would be mad at me Abbs, not the other way round" Paul looked up and sincerity shone through but he was also very unsure of himself, and me, for that matter "We got a bit friendly that morning, I thought you thought.... Oh shit look at you! Picked yourself up and bonked John. How's that for not being upset"

"Thanks... I think"

"No Abigail, its turned out ok hasn't it though. I think I can regain Jane again and you are off with loverboy" He lifted his eyes to the bedrooms above.

"You're not jealous then" I smirked as I watched him from behind my eyelashes, head lowered and worry still etched on my brow. He was skirting round the edges like he was ok, but obviously he was a bit hung up on the whole matter.

"What pfft no. I. What? No. I wouldn't-"

"So, if you hadn't 'got back with Jane' you still would have been ok with finding us like that, this morning?" I did air quotes for the Jane bit.

"I might have been a bit put out"

"So I'm what? Supposed to wait and see if you're on or off with whoever. I'm supposed to be your sister Paul. We had too many drinks and yes, I know full bloody well, I'm not your sister! I was confused, I was stupid to believe that we.... Oh I don't know!! It's all such a mess" I started to tear up.

I stood up then sat back down gazing at my feet. My head muddled.

I don't know what to say to clear the air, get back to normal and at the moment I'm making a right pickle out of what I'm saying.

"We only kissed basically...." He touched me too, a tiny bit, just a glossing of warm fingers over my skin. My face heated up at the memory of his touch.

I felt his eyes burning into me but I was looking at the very interesting silver teaspoon now. I chanced a glance up thorough my lashes and he gave me a little grin just enough to lift his left side of his lip but it was enough to make me feel a tiny bit better.

"We haven't crossed any invisible lines, Abbs" Paul tugged my hand across the table and I had to sit up in the chair my body was touching the table tightly as I leaned. "I want us to be ok, not uptight or anything around each other"

"I want that too" I smiled and stood to give him a hug "I'm sorry. I sort of lead you on that morning"

"I didn't get led on Abigail, I was along for the ride. Maybe da' did all that on purpose, knew what we were up to and--"

"And what were you up to?" John strolled in and put himself in my vacant chair. My tea now his "Sounds interesting.... Should I be jealous.............."

He was eyeing Paul and I very carefully, we were still hugging which we stepped out of rather quickly, too quickly I think, by the look at Johns raised eyebrow.

"Better tell him luv" Paul muttered causing John to put the cup down with a clatter, upset etching his face.

"TELL ME WHAT!" He yelled, jumping up out of the seat and we both took a step back "Abby I thought you and I were more, you led me on. I. I am ....." John huffed and growled then sat again with head in hands ".... devastated. NO! I am destroyed. Yes! My heart is destroyed Abigail!"

I heard a snuffle.

Was he crying?!

Paul bit his lip as I looked at him silently questioning Johns slightly overly fanatical rant.

I moved around the table toward him carefully, fearing he would hate me forever. Then all of a sudden John jumped up again making me jump too, scaring me with his fast reaction "Nah its ok, I was just playing with ya, heard the lot, I sat on the stairs. More tea anyone?"

"John!!!!" Paul and I yelled in unified frustration.