I was back to Jim's by the end of the week, London's busy social noise turning to silence. Disturbed only intermittently by a kettles whistle or the low chatter on the telly. I missed new friends almost immediately, would they miss me? Time would tell.

Angie tried very hard to sort her work schedule, she was due to finish at the end of the year to start anew with Jim but her employer couldn't spare her currently, her replacement wasn't ready to take over, Angie and Ruth stayed in Liverpool, Christmas would bring them together again but that was months away.

I met Mike and his new wife, she was heavily pregnant with complications attached, so it was very difficult for them to visit. Mike was the dead set opposite to Paul, he was stocker and brash never minding p and q's. He wanted to make a career of singing but being Paul's brother was a both blessing and curse to his attempts. I would see Mike on a Wednesday so I enjoyed finding out all about the boys as lads and we would share jokes with Jim on his better days.

Bad days were quiet and solemn, Jim in his own caged pain. Not a sight you wanted to behold.

Angie was down every other Saturday, the travel and sheer exhaustion from the trip made it a hazard for her to stay later or get here earlier.

Where was Paul?

Everywhere and nowhere.

He was on every newspaper's front page as the Beatles started the tour of the United States for the second time; after they had been there that quick whistle stop in February when Ramone and Bill took up residence as the fab four.

He was nowhere near us.

Timing is everything and everything was wrong, Da was ill and Paul was in the midst of the biggest band in the world. Tours promised, contracted well before Da's setback caused Paul much heartache and many a time before he was due to leave did he sit dejected and forlorn, feelings of guilt raged within.

Thirty concerts, starting in San Francisco and ending in New York, twenty-three cities in all had them away for a month. Paul left on the 18th of August. Prior to this he was here every other day and some evenings, it was now the evening of the 25th, hardly a week but I missed all the boy's laughter and Paul's company especially.

All the time he was here with Jim and I we spoke nothing about the morning of the 'incident'. It had faded to a dull hazy memory which was covered with different ones.

I didn't regret or rebut or raze it from memory as between then and now Paul and I had become friends, companions. Nursing his dad or making dinner or watching the sun set in a firestorm watershed of pinks and greys mingling with deep orange too.

Talking, boy we could talk, about anything, chatting, wiling away the hours with Jim or on our own watching the telly of an evening. I wouldn't give those new memories away for all the tea in China.

The phone calls were back in place as if I was repeating the year. Although, this time, instead of Manuel, Bill, Geo and Ramone calling, I got calls from Paul, John, George and Ringo.

The telephone rang a lot later tonight. Usually it's straight after a concert but tonight is different, I have hovered by it so not to wake Jim, the clock on the mantle ticking away slowly, my eyes drooping but I hung on and was rewarded with a jangle of noisy rings, snatching the receiver quickly.

Me: 'ello Abigail Grant speaking with me voice

 George: Oh that's good I would hate have rung the wrong Abigail Grant who speaks with her but-

Me: George!!!!

George: Sorry luv couldn't resist.
Hey... Jayne Mansfield says HELLO

Me: Is she the ones with the big knockers?

George: Abigail Grant! I'm an innocent boy I have to hand the phone to John for this type of language.

Me: Bye Georgie

John: Abbs long way no see, knockers are they?  My child, you are growing up much too fast.

Me: I am grown up! I bought my first Stones Record just the other day.

John: Oh no, she's def turned on us. Say the word and I'll intro you to Jagger

Me: Word

John: Naughty girl, I'll set it up when I can keep an eye on you. Got to go here's the lad, be good luv

Me: Always.......

Me: Paul

Paul: Hello Ab, da ok?

Me: yes, had a good day today. Lots of progress. I think he is on the summit of great things, I can feel it.

Paul: Only from your hard work. I'm sorry I'm not helping. Me- helping that's a joke.

Me: You were great, make a lovely nurse you would; Cute uniform, little white hat.

 Paul: hurrumph, you have a weird sense of humour. Met Jayne Mansfield and Burt Lancaster today, was fun.

Me: Hooters and Horses all in one day, tiring I'm sure!

Paul: Luv your voice, I miss England

Me: You have only been gone a week

Paul: Feels like a year

Me: I gotta sleep Paulie I won't hear your da if he wakes

Paul: Our da

Me: Hmmmmm

Paul: Abbs stay strong, I need you. Our da needs you. I'll hang up, goodnight luv

Me: Night Paulie

Click, silence.

Silence is not golden it's hell. Especially when there isn't anyone to tell your thoughts too, no one to listen to your fears, or your joys.