I wiggled and jiffled and tried to escape what was tied around me.

At first I thought I was dreaming and a villan had tied me to railway tracks, ransomed, requesting gold; but the 'villan' beside me had all the gold he needed already. 

I groaned quietly having just looked down and seen the hands of Paul still bound with mine.

I had not woken as I had planned...

Had not stirred at daybreak to leave before it dawned on him.

I was still here.

As I became more alert I realised his body was flush tight against mine, I could feel everything....

"Mornnning"

Lazy lips touched my shoulder burning through the night shirt, stinging me with heat.

He was still holding me although he was awake....

Why hasn't he let go yet.

I turned over quickly and he grumbled at the movement.

I couldn't stop. All night I had; all night I fought myself, and now.....

And now I succumbed; weak.

I took what I wanted.

I stole a kiss to see what his reaction would be.

The eyes widened slightly but the hands held firm, not moving from the binds he had made around me, although thumbs now were somehow caressing my hips.

I looked for heavens help, gazing at the ceiling.

The only help I got must have been from the devil, a joke, instead;

What came instead?

His lips on mine.... tasting.

Just a flutter of a kiss to test the reception, the eyes unwavering and wide on the both of us. I pulled away, just enough to break apart, our lips millimetres from touching.

"Morning"

And Paul replied "And what a beautiful looking morning it is" He hadn't even pulled the blinds up, how on earth did he know it was a -

"O" I replied as it slowly dawned on me, crashing leaves of flirtation falling all over me, reddening my cheeks.

I was rewarded with a heavier kiss, then more and more til I needed air, and my stolen tongue, back.

"Abigail" It was a question and a call for me in one word. His eyes holding my own and the lust that was not there yesterday crept in, just for me, today. Biting my lip gently at his craving, he suddenly decided to take the opportunity to fulfil his wants and needs.... and more wants.

My lips were ruby red, I swear, by the time he stopped the attack and I touched them as his hands wandered over my body, finding their way to my every hill and valley.

Paul moved and suddenly the innocence of 'just a kiss' was left behind as he positioned over me, the pillows framing my face, his lips dipping to taste, fingers tracing lines of lava down my neck. The sheets tangled as his legs moved and mine were settled around him.

"I- "My eyes saucers, wide and worried, the world was off kilter. Was I really here? Am I dreaming? Is this even happ-.... "I. Pau- "

The shrill ring of the telephone on the hall table downstairs called us out of a trance and clouds danced over his face. He held aloof, pausing for the intrusion to abate away to silence again, but it never came, the shrill ring cut through with unquenched answer over and over.

Someone wanted Paul's attention urgently, by the sound of the repetative ring.

"ArrrrRR" Paul groaned, rolled and jumped up in one quick movement, taking the stairs in a thump of angry stumbles and bangs.

I followed, slower than Paul's annoyed rush, but I was up and to the top of the bannister in seconds, then as I heard his voice rising in a disturbing and worrisome manner, I was beside him, my arm around his waist.

As I listened, I realised it was Angie and she was so loud I could her snippets as she got her message through.

The call ended and he was pacing, dazed and ever so lost.

"Paul, has something happened to Jim?" I questioned as he banged a wall and turned to walk the hall again. "Paul!"

"Shush! I can't think. What was happening today?" Paul hushed me sharply, he was not handling the call, his eyes were darting around and he couldn't get a control of his senses. I stopped him only after the umbrella stand was upended and the telephone book thrown across the room landing with a thump against the back of the sofa.

I steeled and grabbed Paul holding him, shaking him, in front of me as if he was a child being silenced, so I could talk to him straight into his eyes. "Stop!!!... please stop"

"Da....Da is back in hospital, had another turn, whatever the fuck that means" Paul hammered out the words as if they were bullets, hard and fast.

"Ok, can you drive?" I watched his movements, he didn't answer. I decided the answer was no "I will, ok. Now get dressed. Let's get dressed"

"Brian... studio- somethings on-" Paul said as we rushed the stairs, stopping to think half way up, I tugged him to continue to move higher.

"Who-ever's ready first rings Brian, ok" I mothered him to his closet and shoved clothes into his arms.

I went across the hall and quickly threw on bra, shirt and capris, grabbed my hairbrush and handbag. Back down the stairs i galloped, I had beaten Paul.

"You alright, Paul?" I was at the bottom step, I paused for the answer and he thumped a shoe on the floor above me. I glanced down, I was void of footwear too, a pair that had been caked in a little dried mud, left at the door would suffice.

Everything was a daze, an outer body experience I was now, somehow, on the phone, calling Brian, explaining the situation. He was understanding, a tad upset about a scheduled interview but more than encouraged me to get Paul to Da's bedside safely.

Grabbing the Aston Martins key's I didn't pause. This car was his baby, it was a very powerful baby too, but he would end up crashing so I took control and was in the driver's seat backing out by the time he neared. Tumbling into the passenger seat he pressing the new gate opener button; we were on our way in under 10 minutes.

It would take 45 to get to the hospital.

"Sorry" He whispered as I picked up the pace, he glanced at the speedo and looked at me. At first worriedly, then nodding as he watched me handle the car surely. The streets flashed by, I was sure to get a ticket but sod it. "Thank-you... For pushing me around"

I laughed, his words would be a little light relief as we drove "OH, I can push you round whenever you want, Paul" I shot a glance at him, his bottom lip looked like it needed saving from rupture so I made a grab for his hand squeezing it tightly, I was rewarded with a sad smile back.

Fate or real-life called that day, his dad was hurting, and we responded. 

Time passed deadly slow as I sat in the drab pale tan waiting room. As I reflected on the night and morning kisses, I clutched my stomach in a double dose of nerves for Jim and for Paul and my close call of intimacy.

A possible hangover inspired massive mistake had been averted.

It really is too soon for us to be anything together, him because of Jane and me because I think I may just want to be loved by someone, anyone, someone to show me their heart.

First John, now Paul, the smallest bit of attention I'm given..... Any attention at all seems to shoot me to the stars and moon before my brain is barely in gear.

The chair slid back an inch or two as he fell into the cold plastic seat, two hands wiping away at his face til I stopped him from ripping off his cute nose, he then fell into me upset and worried, scared. It all came through his arms as I hugged him tightly.

I don't know how long we were like that but he sniffled quietly as I held him and in this moment.....I knew, I know, I wasn't Jim's 'daughter' but I was a trusted loved person in their family.
I was the housekeeper that kept house yet still the sister that babied her brother.
And also too... The girl that liked the boy.

I wasn't blood, not kin to this family.

Of course, I loved them, Jim was the next best thing to a Dad, as close to me having me da as one could be and Paul was......

I

don't know...

Maybe I'll figure it out before it's too late.