A few days passed after Easter, no sign of Milo and no sign of Evan. It was agonizing waiting for him to turn up, and it was like Drew could no longer focus on one specific thing at a time. Losing Milo had been a seriously low blow, and I also had a feeling that this could've been purposeful on Evan's part.

It wasn't until the Friday after Easter when I got a call from Maria, "Bree, I think I found Milo..."

The tone of her voice shook me to the core, and I couldn't help but feel my heart clench in sadness. I responded, "Where?"

"He's um... On Fourth and Main. He got hit, Bree."

I closed my eyes, feeling my heart constrict in pain at the thought of telling Drew. I knew I would have to do it, and I knew she wasn't going to like it.

I shook my head, "Thanks Maria."

Telling Drew had been a nightmare. I could see the anger in her eyes laced with sadness, but she didn't cry. It worried me, but for all I knew she could've seen it coming.

The rest of the weekend passed slow, emotions running higher than ever. I could tell she was still hurting over losing Milo but her sadness had finally paired up with anger. There was a rage building inside of her that she had trouble controlling. The look she held was scary, and she held it quite often, like she couldn't shake the thoughts of her step-brother from her mind.

It had been Sunday night, a few days after I had delivered the bad news about Milo whenever she had apparently had enough.

I watched her from the kitchen as she emptied Milo's old water bowl, throwing it into the trash and then doing the same thing to his food bowl. Once again she refused to show any emotion, which in my opinion was quite frightening, but I kept quiet.

Until she noticed me watching her, causing a reaction, "What?"

I felt my heart drop at the sound, a scary expression in her face. I shook my head, "Nothing, I'm just worried-"

"Please," she cut me off, "Please don't say that again."

I just shook my head in confusion, "But I am worried about you..."

She nodded, "Yea I know, you've told me about a hundred times this week."

I knew she was right considering she hadn't tried to open up to me about how she was feeling since Easter. I was hoping if I told her enough she would open up but it seemed to be doing the complete opposite.

I tried to stay calm, "I just want you to talk to me..."

"I don't want to talk," she bowed her head as she closed the trash can, turning her back to me and heading to her staircase.

I took a deep breath, attempting to calm my nerves and tell myself that she was hurting and I needed to be patient.

I called out, "I'll leave... If you want to be alone...?"

She turned, her gaze not even falling on me as she stood at the foot of her staircase. She shrugged, "I think that would be good."

I waited for her to walk over to give me a hug, or a kiss, or just to say bye but she didn't. I didn't know if I was overreacting by being hurt over that, but when I stepped out of her apartment I felt tears form in my eyes. I didn't understand why she was being like this, and I knew it couldn't all be because of her losing Milo.

Was I doing something wrong? Was I smothering her? Should I just back off and give her the space she needed before she pushed me away for good?

If only she would talk to me...

But I left her place with a heavy heart that night, telling myself that maybe a bit of distance would be good. She would come around, she was just hurting.

I just hoped she didn't decide against reaching out to me whenever she was ready.

~ ~ ~ ~

So of course the beginning of April started horrible, the tension involving me and Drew's relationship seeming to strangle me every time I thought about it.

She was shutting down and becoming more and more distant, and when I would beg her to just talk to me the more she digressed. I didn't want to worry too much, simply because worrying did nothing but make everything ten times worse, but she wasn't making it easy on me.

But I had enough whenever two and a half weeks went by after Easter with her barely communicating with me. My patience was running extremely low, and I had decided she couldn't ignore me like this for much longer. At least I couldn't take it, obviously she wasn't phased.

It was the late Thursday evening after our first fallout that Sunday, Drew had claimed she would be staying late at the gym but I was tired of her distancing herself from me. It wasn't fair to either of us, so I was currently on my way to see her, completely uninvited.

I didn't know what I was going do or what I was about to walk into but I refused to be scared. I needed to get through to her no matter what because she would push me away if I let her, and if she did I had a feeling she would regret it. I know I would. Neither one of us deserved this, and Drew didn't deserve to sever another bond that meant something to her.

I knew this was her way of protecting herself, or a very sad attempt at protecting me. I wasn't really sure yet, but we were talking about it tonight. I couldn't take anymore waiting.

I walked in, seeing only a few people working out while Demarcus sat at the front counter. His tired eyes looked up and his mood instantly heightened when he noticed me, "Bree, hey..."

"Hey," I gave him a slight smile, "Where is she?"

He sighed, "Locked herself in the boxing room."

I rolled my eyes, finding my heart couldn't take much more of this distance. It wasn't fair, none of this was, but her pushing me away was the wrong thing to do. It wouldn't help her heart not hurt, it wouldn't bring Milo back, and it wouldn't get rid of Evan.

She needed me... right?

He slid me a pair of keys across the table, "It's the silver one."

I eyed him and then picked them up, but before I could turn away I heard him address me again.

"Bree?"

I answered tiredly, "Yea?"

"Has she been ignoring you too?"

I could see the worry in his eyes, a weird sense of relief coming over me knowing she was ignoring everyone and not just me. But that didn't mean it made me any less worried about her.

I nodded, "Yea... I just, I don't know what to do..."

His eyes fell onto the counter as he shrugged, "I don't know either, but I'm worried. Like a lot."

"That makes two of us," I confessed, wondering silently if she had said anything to him. I asked, "She hasn't said anything? Like about Evan or....?"

He just shook his head, "No, but I hope to God she's not going back to what she used to be like because of him. She's made so much progress..."

The thought of Drew turning darker than I had ever experienced scared me, but I knew it was a possibility. Demarcus had experienced that Drew firsthand, and I most certainly didn't want to allow her to go back to that place. He was right, she had made a lot of progress. The last thing I wanted was for her to slip back into that hole.

I sighed, "Well, wish me luck."

He just gave me a sad smile.

I found the back room and unlocked the door, letting myself in as I heard loud rock music blaring through the speakers. I saw her on the far side, her back turned to me as she punched swiftly into the heavy bag hanging from the wall. The smell of leather and sweat filled my nose as I softly closed the door behind me. I didn't understand why she was doing this to herself, but this was the only release she had now that she didn't fight anymore.

I walked up slowly, knowing that the last thing I wanted to do was scare her. Drew could pack a mean punch, and I most definitely didn't want to be on the receiving end.

I emerged in front of her then, those eyes snapping out of her daydream quickly when she realized she wasn't alone. She thought she had been safe locked away in here but I wasn't letting her hide from me anymore.

I punched the off button on the radio and started, "Hey..."

Her eyes refused to look at me, "Hi."

So she was still ignoring me, or everything and everyone at that. I pleaded, "Drew, please talk to me... It's been weeks..."

She leaned back on the edge of the boxing ring that took up most of the room, beginning to unwrap her hands. It took her awhile to answer, "I have nothing to say, really..."

I couldn't wrap my head around how she was refusing to let me in, like she wasn't able anymore. It broke my heart.

I tried to remain calm, "Drew..."

She just shook her head, continuing to shut me out, "I'm just tired okay."

"I'm tired too, but I'm here trying..."

She refused to talk, throwing the tape she had on her hand in a nearby trash can. I didn't understand what she was doing, and I couldn't comprehend the pain that was forming. But I had a feeling she was seconds away from ripping my heart right out of my chest.

"I didn't ask you to come here," she responded, my heart quivering in response.

All I could do was shake my head, "What am I supposed to do? Let you continue to ignore me?"

"I don't want to talk about this... Not here..." Her eyes held their gaze with the floor.

"Then let's go home..." I whispered, hoping she let me come over tonight. I couldn't spend another night away from her, and if this was her sick way of trying to let me go I couldn't stand it much longer.

She just turned away from me, beginning to walk towards the door to the main lobby.

I stepped in front of her then, my hands landing on her stomach in a desperate attempt to stop her from leaving.

"Please don't do this. Don't push me away..."

She stepped back, my arms falling to my sides as I searched her eyes that no longer had that glow I loved so much. She was so distant, as if she was completely detached from reality. I didn't understand, but there had to be more than what I was seeing. This was more than just her losing Milo.

"Let's be real here, just for a second," she demanded, her tone acidic.

I shook my head, caught off guard by how mean she sounded, "W-What...?"

"Are you happy?"

I just continued to shake, fear and pain overtaking me. I answered, "Y-Yes... Why-?"

She dropped her hands to her sides and spoke, "Bree,when you look at me I can see you're not happy. I can see the anger and pain in your face. I'm doing that to you. Me. And the saddest part is I can't do shit about it because it's in my head, something I can't control."

I could feel my heart shuddering and my hands trembling, wondering why this sounded so much like a break-up. It was like time was frozen in this moment between us, as if we weren't on the same planet anymore. She couldn't do this to me, not after all we've been through. Not after all we had given each other...

I heard my small voice plea, "We can work through this... You can work through this, Drew. I can help, I can be here-"

"God Bree, do you hear yourself? You talk to me like I'm a wounded animal, like I'm seconds away from breaking. You're right about me being not okay but I'm an adult... I'm just not stable. I'll never be. I'll never be good enough because Evan's always going to live inside my head, he's always gonna be there. You can't fix me, alright? You shouldn't have to, and you deserve better. But you already know that."

My heart was beating so hard in my chest I thought that I was going to pass out. I couldn't breathe, as if there was a giant weight on my chest. Quick images flashed in my head of how my life would be if Drew disappeared. I couldn't cope with that, not if I let her leave like this.

The adrenaline kicked in whenever she took another step to leave, my hand gripping her arm tight. This reminded me so much of the first time in the dance studio upstairs, and suddenly my brain was swarmed with a million memories.

"I'm not letting you do this to yourself, not whenever you're hurting like this..."

She pulled away, her gaze locking onto me, "You're not making decisions for me. If I think you deserve better then that's what I think. If I believe ending things now while you still have a chance to free yourself is the right choice, then I will."

"It's not the right decision!" My voice cracked, tears actually threatening to spill. I couldn't do this, I couldn't let her leave. If I did I was afraid she wouldn't come back.

I searched for some empathy, anything in those calloused eyes but she was putting up another wall. A thicker one this time, higher than before so no one could get through or peek over. She didn't know what she was doing. She couldn't...

She whispered, "I should've just stayed away from you, and I'm sorry I didn't... You don't deserve this..."

My hands were trembling, my eyes burning from the tears that were seconds from falling down my face. I was trying so hard not to break and beg her not to leave me. I didn't understand why she was doing this, but that was because she wouldn't fucking tell me.

I pleaded, "If I don't deserve this then please don't do it..."

Those eyes peered into mine but there was nothing there. No emotion, no light, nothing... her door was closed and she had locked me out.

Her voice was softer, "Bree just leave. It's okay. You don't have to feel obligated to stay because you feel bad. If you leave I would understand. You have a bright road ahead of you. I don't. Mine is dark and twisted, and I can't bring you down there with me."

My mouth was dry, as if all the moisture in my body was forming in my eyes. This had to be a nightmare, a dream I would eventually wake up from. I felt like my world was crumbling away, like the floor was giving out from under my feet. I was falling, and it didn't seem like Drew was going to catch me this time.

I tried my best on my last stand against her, "T-Tell me this..."

I had to stop talking to prevent tears from falling. Her eyes searched mine, her own hands shaking now. She couldn't want this for herself, but I would be damned if I didn't go down with a fight. I wasn't giving up until I had absolutely nothing left, and even then I would still attempt to make her stay.

She continued holding her impenetrable gaze, "What?"

"Tell me you don't love me," I demanded, my voice still quivering.

Her eyes narrowed, a look I didn't recognize crossing her features. She hesitated then, as if my response had come out of left field for her. I was saying anything that came to mind, hoping to just make her think and change her decision. I was desperate now.

"What does that-?"

"Tell me you don't love me," I ordered, more forceful this time. She just watched me, as if she had absolutely no idea what I was asking of her. I pressed, "I'll leave only if you tell me you don't love me."

I half expected her to actually say it, simply because she was stubborn and hard-headed. I wouldn't be able to handle hearing those words come out of her mouth, it would be like a punch right to the gut, knocking the wind out of me. It would make my world stop turning, even if it was for a split second. Everything I knew would change, and I would have to start over again. I would be alone, again...

But her voice trembled like mine, "Bree... I can't..."

I shook my head, "Do what I ask, it's only four words Drew. If you really want me to leave you'll say it."

My breathing hitched when I watched her move closer, as if she was going to move past me. She didn't, she stood right there in front of me and I forced my eyes to hers. She didn't look the same, she was thinner, her eyes pale and paired with dark bags from the lack of sleep. Her lips were parted but there were no words coming out, and I wasn't sure what was going on anymore.

She looked down, her hands joined as they held on tightly to each other, "It doesn't matter if I love you or not... You know I do, and that's not enough. It's not enough for you, and it's not enough to tell you because I don't think I'll ever be able to show you the way you deserve."

The pain I felt was unbearable, as if Drew was taking my ribcage and literally tearing it open. Breathing became even harder because I was still trying my hardest not to let tears fall, which was becoming more and more difficult. This just couldn't be happening, not after all this time, not after everything we had been through.

I bit my trembling lip, my eyes falling to the ground. I had never imagined this type of pain, and I had never experienced this type of agony before. It wasn't fair, and I didn't deserve it, did I? Drew and I were supposed to meet, we were supposed to fall in love... I believed that. Were we really supposed to end like this? As some type of lesson to be learned? Was I supposed to let her go? Were we just stepping stones to each other?

I couldn't seem to believe that no matter how hard I tried.

I forced myself to speak, "Why all of a sudden?"

I couldn't look at her, no matter how bad I wanted to because if I did I knew I would break. I was praying she gave me something, anything. I was trying so hard to fight for her but my strength was dwindling and draining right out of me. I needed her to explain because if she didn't it would completely ruin any chance of me recovering. I couldn't force her to want and be with me, but I needed to hear it come out of her mouth before I left.

Her voice was low, "Because you deserve someone that will be able to give you all of them. I can't do that. I tried. I tried so hard for you Bree but I just can't and I refuse to let this continue knowing that. It would hurt worse a month from now. Maybe we just met at the wrong time, I don't know, but I can't bring you down with me. Not anymore."

Her words ripped me in half, my heart feeling as if it was completely giving out. It was like invisible hands were squeezing as hard as they could against my lungs, my knees trembling and threatening to collapse out from under me.

I just backed away from her then, seeing all the times she had kissed me and held me flash before my eyes. I wanted to run away from her and the pain but I was terrified to leave because this could very well be the last time I would see her. I would be moving back to Philadelphia in a month, leaving New York for good and now Drew wouldn't be coming with me.

She had warned me about this happening, she had told me beforehand and I hadn't believed her. I had been too lost in the attraction, in the mystery and the pain behind her eyes. I had been selfish, wanting her because I couldn't stop thinking about her. I should've listened to my head, I should've stayed away from her. I shouldn't have ever let her in about Ashley or let her dance with me. I should've saved my heart whenever I had learned about her past, but it had only made me love her more.

Before I left I heard her whisper, "I'm so sorry Bree..."

That was before I slammed the door behind me, rushing through the lobby and out of the front doors of the gym. I couldn't breathe, my vision blurry from the tears settling on the rims of my eyes. I could feel my heart pounding in my head as air filled my empty lungs. My body was reacting in a way I hadn't felt before, but standing on the cold streets of New York seemed to help.

What had gone so wrong? What had I refused to see? Was she that good of an actress to have fooled me completely? How could I have been so stupid to think that someone like Drew could ever love me and push past all of the demons she had living inside of her?

What was I going to do now that the one thing that genuinely made me happy in a long time would no longer be a part of my life?