Saturday morning came quickly, and soon Drew and I were getting dressed for the day to head out to the cemetery. I was anxious about it but I figured Drew was strong enough for this, I mean it had been years since her mom had passed. But I knew if she got emotional I would be there for her, just like I was every other time she had needed me to support and understand her.

We had stopped at a flower shop too, picking up a bouquet of carnations because they were her mother's favorite. The drive there was only about fifteen minutes, and we had decided to go early to get a jumpstart on the day. I was excited, and as we drove up to the cemetery I felt my pulse quicken.

Stepping out I felt the morning dew surround us, the sunlight cutting through the trees giving the place a heavenly feel. It was peaceful here, and as I walked alongside Drew I couldn't help but take in how beautiful the place actually was.

This is how cemeteries should be, I thought, taking in the landscaping and the pond on the far side of the acre. I followed Drew down the path, leading us up to a few tombstones and I immediately caught sight of her mom's.

Drew knelt down, placing the vase of flowers on the little holder meant for them. I stood off to the side, not wanting to smother her in this moment. I felt like she could use some privacy, so I whispered, "I'm gonna walk over here, take your time."

She smiled, letting me know she appreciated it as I walked away from her and out of hearing range. I figured she would want to say something to her, whether it be a prayer or something a little more intimate, but I wouldn't hang over her shoulder.

I was here for her if she needed me, but I would give her privacy too.

Walking closer to the pond I saw a family of ducks swimming even whenever the weather was getting chillier. The temperature had to be around the mid-fifties but it was a comfortable chill considering I had dressed in jeans, boots, and a layered jacket. This was probably my favorite time of year, whenever it wasn't too cold but wasn't too hot.

I glanced back at Drew, who was still kneeling down on her mom's grave. She seemed to be talking, lost in conversation with herself. I didn't find it weird at all, and I wondered silently how she had overcome this type of loss. Thinking about losing my mother now frightened me to death, and I could only imagine how that would have affected me if I had been only eighteen.

Drew was a different type of strong, someone who had overcome a lot in her childhood. I didn't know much of her story, but I was getting glimpses here and there. I knew more than most, and that had to mean something. But God it frightened me how damaged she really could be and I would have no idea. She was good at covering her feelings, and I was so worried she did it more often than I realized.

The last thing I wanted was to misinterpret Drew again, because I had done it once before.

As I watched her from afar I noticed she was standing now, but she was still facing her mom's grave. I figured she had gotten out a lot in the past ten minutes so I started walking towards her again.

As I made it a little closer I heard her mumble, "She's amazing, and I wish you were here to meet her."

I froze a little inside, but hearing it only made me smile. I hesitated a little longer, not wanting to intrude anymore but she turned around. I smiled, attempting to act like I hadn't heard what she had said because I figured it was meant to be private.

I walked up to her, lacing my hand through hers, "Do you feel better?"

She nodded, "I do. Thank you, for agreeing to come with me and all... it means a lot, Bree."

I smiled widely, glad she felt so comfortable with me. I gripped her hand a little tighter, "I'm glad I came too."

She glanced back at her mom's tombstone, and I followed her gaze. She sighed, "You would've loved her. She was so carefree and loving... even after everything with the divorce and the cancer she still tried to keep a smile on her face. I didn't know if she was doing it for me or for herself, or for both, but she was the most optimistic person I had ever met."

I squeezed her hand, correcting her, "She is a good and genuine person, not was. She's still here you know, with you."

I watched Drew's eyes soften, "She would've loved you, Bree."

Her words hit me like a freight train, sadness and joy overtaking me because she sounded so pained but so happy at the same time. I knew this was hard for her, even after five years, because something like this didn't ever really get easier. You just got stronger, and Drew talking about her really showed me Drew had an emotional side.

She noticed my absence and continued, "Before she passed she told me that I was going to hate the world, and I knew she was right. She prepared me as best as she could, telling me that I would shut everyone out but needed to find it in myself not to. She told me I would find someone like you, who was caring and compassionate, and that I would have a hard time opening up to you. She told me I would find someone who would love me for me, nothing less and nothing more."

I was so shocked Drew was talking like this but I decided to just shut up and listen, not wanting to miss a single word that came out of her mouth. I could tell she was in a different world right now, probably reliving the memories her and her mother had shared. Who was I to interrupt that?

She nodded, "She was right all along, because here you are, five years later standing next to me at her grave."

Suddenly I felt my eyes burning, as if I had no control over my own emotions at this point. I tried my best not to let them fall, afraid I was going to scare Drew if I did. Her eyes snapped back into reality as she looked at me, smiling sadly, "Don't cry, because then I'll cry and we'll both look like shit."

I laughed then, feeling the need to cry disappear. She was so strong I just couldn't comprehend how someone could go through all of this and still be as sympathetic and caring like Drew. She was special, I knew that much, and I was so grateful I could share this moment with her.

I smiled, "Okay, I won't cry."

She cupped my face then, causing the oxygen to leave my lungs immediately. It didn't take her long before her lips were pressed against mine, stunning me further. It was soft and gentle, and I knew she was silently thanking me. I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her into me as she prolonged it just a few more seconds before pulling away.

She smiled, "Ready to eat? I'm so hungry."

I couldn't help but get lost in her eyes, nodding, "Yea."

We fell into stride together, my heart beating profusely inside my chest. Just that tiny kiss had ignited my inner turmoil so I decided to stay silent until I caught my breath. We walked slowly, slower than when we had originally gotten here, and I figured it was because Drew didn't really want to leave. I couldn't blame her, and I would've stayed as long as she would've liked, but she also seemed ready to do something fun.

 "Do you believe in Heaven?"

I looked at her, wondering where this had come from but decided it didn't matter. I nodded, "Yea, I think so... I believe there is a type a Heaven, if that makes sense."

"Not really," she smirked.

I smiled as I looked up at her, "Well, I believe there is a higher place, something or someone greater than all of us. I believe in a God but don't really believe in Hell. I like to think it's rather something bigger than that. It's weird to explain."

She was eyeing me, and I could tell she was interested, "You can try if you want?"

"Okay," I agreed, searching for a way to make this easy to follow. I had thought about this a lot in the past four years, college made you rethink a lot of things, so I had a lot to say. I wasn't going to go on a rant bashing churches and stuff though, because that's not the question she had requested.

I continued, "I believe when we die our souls go somewhere, somewhere beyond this place... beyond the world we know as humans."

She studied me, "Like... another dimension or something?"

I nodded, "That's one way to put it, but I still believe we're connected to the physical world though. I mean how would you explain ghosts and things like that if we weren't? I think when our bodies die, they're dead, but our souls eternal. We just gain access to a different place because we no longer belong here on Earth."

She nodded, "I never thought about it that way."

I smiled, "I don't know, I may be wrong but... who knows."

"I can feel her," she spoke, playing with my thumb that was in her hand, "Mostly when I feel really bad or depressed, I can feel her next to me. I feel weird saying it but it's like when you're laying out under the sun and the clouds cover it, and you lose the sunshine for a split second. When I'm sad that's how I feel, and then when the sun comes back out from behind the clouds that's whenever I feel her. That's what it's like for me."

I questioned, "When's the last time you felt that?"

She shook her head, "Before I met you."

Hearing this wowed me and freaked me out at the same time, but I knew I shouldn't make a big deal out of it. She felt comfortable enough to talk about this with me, and I wasn't going to make her regret that.

I smiled, "Maybe that's because your mom feels okay to move on now."

She just looked at me with an expression I couldn't read, but I could tell something was clicking inside her head. I hadn't meant to say what I did, but I didn't regret it because it sounded very sensible. Drew just faced forward, keeping her hand interlaced with mine as we continued walking back towards the car.

I felt good, and I could tell she did too, and I realized my goal for this trip had been accomplished.

~ ~ ~ ~

The morning had passed quickly. We had gone to the little café she had mentioned and they really did have the best coffee I had ever tasted. I had even taken one to go simply because it was that good and I wanted energy for later. The breakfast had been phenomenal as well, and once we had eaten and gotten our coffees to go we started our little tour.

She had taken me to the Common Park first, where we talked about her mom and all of the good memories they had shared together. They had a relationship I could only wish for with my own mom, but I was glad she was reminiscing.

We had thrown pennies into the fountain, wishing for pointless things and had listened to a group of people playing music in the central square. Drew had even danced with me to one of the slower songs they had played, and after the song ended we tipped them and left. The weather was beautiful but I found myself more fixated by Drew, which wasn't odd because I always seemed to be dumbfounded by how adorable she was.

For lunch we decided to keep it light, grabbing salads and soup at another nearby café. The wind wasn't blowing at all so it made eating outside a delight. The day was honestly going so well, and I found myself not wanting to go back to the city. Although Boston was a significantly bigger town, it wasn't New York, and that's what I loved so much about it.

We were currently walking to a bakery Drew knew about, which apparently was right around the corner. I was holding her hand like usual, which had become natural since we had been doing it for a while now. I loved contact with her, and I knew the more we did it the easier it would become for her.

Soon she was opening the door for me and the smell of sweets overtook my senses. Since we had eaten light for lunch we had a little room for dessert. She led me to the counter, "This place has the best red velvet cupcakes I've ever eaten."

She ended up paying for two and we took a seat, allowing us to relax for a bit. I realized the longer we stayed here the more I wanted to move back home. I was tired of the city, all the fast paced thinking and the never being able to slow down. It was easier to breathe here where there weren't a million cement buildings towering over you.

Drew's voice pulled me out of my thoughts, "You okay?"

I nodded, "Yea, being here just makes me hate the city even more."

She smiled, "Yea I know what you mean, it gets old really quick, but you only have about six months left."

I sighed heavily, finishing my dessert, "Yea, you're right."

"Of course I am."

I looked at her, "Do you miss living here?"

Something shifted behind her eyes, something she was suppressing. She shrugged, "I do and I don't. I think I just miss my mom, because this place reminds me so much of her, but I kind of like living in New York too. I don't know."

"Would you ever move again?" I found myself asking, not sure why the hell I was in the first place. For a split second I had thought about her moving back to Philadelphia with me, but that was stupid, especially at this point in our relationship. I mean I had only known her a little over a month.

"Maybe," she answered, never letting her gaze leave me. I had a feeling she knew exactly why I had asked that, which I found slightly embarrassing but knew I couldn't take it back now.

Drew and I still needed to learn a lot about each other, I mean we weren't even officially anything. There was no label to us, and I was okay with that for now. I knew I liked her a lot though, and thinking about losing her kind of terrified me, and that had to mean something.

She meant something to me, and I could only pray she shared those same feelings.

"What's your middle name?" I looked up at Drew, her question catching me completely off guard. I hadn't expected it, and it was quite random, but she was gazing at me with curiosity lacing her pretty features.

I smiled, "Claire."

She mouthed, "Breanna Claire Kelly..."

I narrowed my eyes at her weirdness, "What about yours?"

"Drew Alyson Wilder, I was named after my mom and grandma."

It was trivial, knowing each other's middle names, but it was actually some of the basic things people tended to forget about.

I countered, "Birthday?"

She smirked slightly, "September fifth. You?"

"April twenty-third."

"I'll be sure to get you a card," she joked, and I couldn't help but laugh.

I loved learning the little things about Drew just as much as I liked learning the important things. I was just sad that I had barely missed her birthday by a few weeks because I had met her at the end of September.

It didn't take us long before we were done eating and Drew was pulling me back out onto the street. It was around 1:30 already, and I realized that this day was passing extremely fast and I didn't like it. I wanted it to last, and even though we had a great time so far I just didn't want it to end.

I questioned, "Where too next?"

"The Public Library."

She led me down the street hand in hand, explaining that the branch she wanted to bring me too wasn't far. I was excited because she was excited, and I should've figured Drew would bring me here of all places, I mean it was the library.

It didn't take us long to arrive at the front steps, walking in and hearing the very low chatter of a few other tourist. Considering it was early November there weren't many of them but they mostly consisted of the older generation. Drew continued pulling me eagerly through the people and I willingly followed.

I couldn't help but admire the amazing architecture, which was absolutely stunning because it was so intricate. I felt my eyes studying every little detail, along with the old paintings and the staircase Drew was leading me up.

I didn't know where I was going but I figured she did, so I just followed, hoping she didn't get us into trouble.

Leading us through another hallway where there was hardly anyone, she pulled me between two bookshelves. I heard her whisper, "I used to come up here all the time and read until I would practically fall asleep."

I smiled at her remembering all the good times she had in Boston rather than the bad. I wished this side of Drew would come out more often, and maybe it would with time, but for now I was enjoying it while I could.

I teased, "Ever brought someone special here?"

She squeezed my hand, blushing, "No, and get your mind out the gutter."

All I could do was suppress a laugh.

We were basically secluded by now, knowing there weren't many people around up here specifically. Apparently this was a spot only locals knew about by coming here often, and tourists wouldn't find it without roaming.

But all I was focused on was Drew and the way her excitement really lit up her amazing features. She was so happy, and the smile she had on was so contagious even I was grinning like an idiot. Her lips were pink and her eyes were glowing, not to mention how hot she looked in that leather jacket and her boots.

We were finally alone to where I could admire her without any shame, which I did regardless but it was different seeing her like this. So free spirited and eager to show me all of her favorite spots in the library.

But eventually she stopped between two shelves which seemed to be almost a dead end as she turned back towards me. I felt my pulse quicken at the way she looked at me, feeling both of her hands lace through in my own now. It had caught me off guard but the electric feeling that surrounded us did not. I was familiar with the way she made me feel now, even whenever it felt as if I was going to have a heart attack any second now.

She whispered, "But I consider you someone special, and now you know my old secret reading spot."

My skin was hot, and I wet my lips instinctively as I noticed how close we were to each other. I was eyeing her lips as she pulled me closer, letting me know she was teasing me. She enjoyed driving me up the wall but I secretly liked it because it just made me want her even more than I already did, as if that was possible.

I grinned, "So you trust me?"

"Of course I trust you."

I couldn't help but blush harder at her response, wishing I could close the gap already but I wanted her to take initiative. I wanted her to show me how much she wanted me because I knew she did, but I wanted her to grab me and pull me in for a kiss. I wanted to know that she craved me just as much as I craved her.

I felt her run one of her hands up my arm and neck, cupping my cheek and then moving it into my wavy brown hair. The room was on fire but I didn't care, it was like the world could be ending around us and all I would see was Drew. The way her eyes burned into mine just made me tingle all over, and when her thumb stroked my cheek I felt my lips part in a smile.

She mumbled, "Remember when you told me you thought I had the most beautiful eyes you've ever seen?"

All I could muster was a nod.

Smiling, she continued, "I always thought I had a type, you know, that I looked for in a girl. I always liked light eyes too, blue, green, whatever... but then I met you." She stepped closer but my back hit against the bookshelf. I was mostly leaning against it for support because Drew's words were literally making my legs weak.

"I've noticed my favorite color changed, because now I love hazel more than anything."

I was still shocked Drew had this in her, the ability to be completely and utterly amazing. I mean I hadn't heard her talk like this, much less about me specifically. I was dumbfounded and in awe all at the same time, and I absolutely loved it.

 At this time I was studying her eyes as well, which looked to be more silver than anything right now. The way the sunlight broke through the window and hit her irises made them glow, and this moment felt otherworldly.

I whispered, "My eyes are like an ugly brown..."

She shook her head, "No. You can't see how the green and brown contrast, how they light up when sunlight reflects off of them. It reminds me of walking in Central Park when the sun's shining through the tree leaves... it's beautiful."

I was shaking my head, not because I didn't believe her or because I had no idea what to say, but because I was just that amazed at how romantic that was.

She noticed and questioned, "You don't believe me?"

"No," I countered, "I mean, yea I believe you but... I didn't know you could be so..."

"Amazing?" she finished, joking with me as she moved a little closer.

I let my hands travel up to the edges of her jacket, taking them in my hand as I smirked, "You are amazing."

She still had the upper hand in our situation but I wanted her to know I was dying to kiss her. I knew she was too, and it wouldn't be long till I couldn't take the distance anymore. I was still eyeing her lips that looked absolutely amazing right now, and she licked them quickly, nearly sending me over the edge.

Finally Drew leaned in closer to capture my lips with her own, setting my entire body on fire. I felt her warmth surround me while I held onto her jacket, not wanting her to pull away too soon. I hated that these moments weren't frequent but it made me appreciate them whenever they did happen, but stopping myself was the hard part.

I attempted to catch my breath as Drew's body pressed against me; my eyes were squeezed shut while my heart hammered against my rib cage. The feelings I got while kissing Drew were things I hadn't experienced before, not with Ashley or anyone else for that matter. It was new territory, unfamiliar emotions and attempting to understand why wasn't even worth the trouble.

Why try to understand things that we were just meant to feel?

Then we both heard a clearing of a throat, which unfortunately led to Drew and me flying apart and straightening our clothes. The young man quickly moved to grab the book he needed and fled the scene, causing both of us to laugh in embarrassment.

I grabbed her hand, wishing our moment hadn't ended so soon, "I think they'll have to kick us out if we stay up here."

She shook her head, "Your head's in the gutter again."

I shrugged, "You can't blame me."

Then she led me out of the bookshelves and continued giving me a tour of the library while I continued replaying our kiss over and over in my head.