mild triggers for alcohol abuse

LUKE ISN'T SURE HOW THE BOTTLE ENDED UP IN HIS HAND.

Of course, he could lie to himself and say someone gave it to him, but everyone knows he's sat hunched over on the sofa, downing alcohol like his life depends on it of his own accord.

He hates himself, more than anything. He hates how Ashton is now sat next to him, looking terrified, because he doesn't know if Luke's going to go overboard and get alcohol poisoning or choke to death. He hates how Calum is stroking his hand gently as he cries and cries and cries.

It sounds like a tiny baby crying, someone so weak and messed up, and Luke hates that, as well. All the insecurities are piling up and pressing against the walls of his very being, and he can't breathe.

Noticing Luke's breathing intensify, Ashton immediately takes the bottle out of his hands and moves closer to him. Calum mirrors this, and it's comforting and all, but Michael is nowhere to be seen, and right now, Luke really, really just wants to play Pokémon with him or something. Something normal.

"What's wrong? Oh, god, is he responding?" Calum is panicking completely now, and Ashton has to say his name three times before he actually realises.

"Sorry. I'm OK. Sorry." He repeats the words over and over again, just like before - it seems as though the breakup has limited his vocabulary by a lot.

The breakup. Luke hasn't put it into those words before, but that's essentially what it is. It's over. He ruined it.

This revelation makes him cry even harder (if that was possible), and Ashton wraps his arms around Luke tightly. He's the single thing helping Luke through this right now, and he's so thankful for that.

"Mikey." He coughs all of a sudden, and Ashton just nods grimly. "I want Mikey, please. I want to talk to him."

Calum stands up and walks into the other room, and before long, Luke can hear faint snatches of a phone call regarding himself, eventually ending with what sounds like Michael running back to the hotel room.

Ashton is still holding Luke as he finally finishes crying with a few rasping breaths and a sharp inhalation, before just sitting still. All the drinking from earlier has caught up with him, and he feels as though there are strings bound around his limbs that anchor him to stay in that position.

It's completely silent. Luke only realises that now. Nobody is making any noise, because nobody knows what could set him off again. None of them dare to move, because none of them want to hurt Luke anymore.

Maybe they could just stay here forever, without the outside world, and eventually, the hole in Luke's heart might heal over.