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Episode 2: Godly Grandparent

Charlie smiled wide as she stepped down the stairs, still so utterly proud of the new Hazbin Hotel they had built. And she was even more happy that the Exterminations were effectively canceled thanks to their efforts.

They even killed Adam! And he was an asshole!

Her smile only faded when she saw the shrine they made for Pentious. She went over to it, and sighed. "Morning, Pen..."

Then, a familiar voice called out. "Charlie...?"

It was Vaggie. Her newly sprouted wings fluttered as she walked over, with KeeKee, their cat and the literal key to the hotel, scurrying over and rubbing herself on Charlie's leg.

Charlie giggled a bit and pet KeeKee on the head and then looked at Vaggie. "Morning, mi amor...gosh, those wings are so pretty..."

Vaggie's face flushed and she laughed. "Still getting used to them. Too bad eyeballs can't grow back."

"Wouldn't surprise me if they could." Husk said as he walked out from his room, stretching a bit and already having a bottle in his hand.

Charlie smiled. "Morning, Husk!"

"Yup. Morning." Husk nodded before sitting down at the bar.

There was a big yawn as Angel walked out, chuckling as his pet pig, Fat Nuggets, ran around playfully at his heels, apparently having the 'zoomies.' "Mornin', guys."

"Guess I better get started on breakfast!" Charlie laughed as she began walking to the kitchen...until suddenly, the doorbell rang.

The Princess of Hell turned. "Huh? That's...odd. Who could- WAIT! THAT COULD BE SOMEONE WANTING TO STAY!!!"

Eager as ever, she rushed over to the door and opened it. "Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel! My name is Charlie and- Oh! Oh, you're tall!"

The voice at the door laughed. "I could be taller!"

Vaggie tilted her head curiously and approached...before she froze, her one remaining eye nearly bulging out of her skull as her jaw dropped.

"Wait...your glow looks familiar." Charlie said before her eyes widened and she backed up. "Are you from Heaven?"

The figure held up his hands. "Wait, wait, wait! Before you become frightened, I'm not here to hurt anyone. But yes, I am from Heaven...actually, I rule Heaven, ha! I came here to meet you!!!"

Charlie smiled before she blinked. "Wait...rule Heaven? You're...you're the ruler of Heaven?"

"Correct! May I come in?"

Charlie hummed. "Well! Okay!" She said as she stepped to the side.

Then, in Grandpa Morningstar stepped, even having to duck his head through the door. "Ohhh! So this is what the Hazbin Hotel looks like! I love it! Red and gold compliment each other very nicely."

Angel hummed, curious about the new stranger, but then noticed Vaggie frozen. "Vags?" He waved his hand in front of her face, confused. "Hell to Vagina! You in there, toots?"

No response.

"Char? I think your honey is broken."

Charlie gasped and rushed over. "Vaggie? Vaggie, baby?!"

"Oh my." GM said as he walked over. "I think I may have startled her."

Husk chuckled. "And who are you supposed to be...and why the hell are you so bright?"

"Oh! I apologize, Henrik!" GM said as he toned down the brightness of his body.

Husk's eyes bulged and he stood up. "How the fuck do you know my name?"

Then, Alastor, Nifty, and Cherri walked out from their rooms as well, with Cherri giving The Radio Demon the stink eye before seeing their new guest.

"...stab!" Nifty said, remembering Charlie's instructions about stabbing shiny people like the Exorcists.

Angel's eyes widened and he immediately took Nifty's knife. "No! No stabbing! Down, girl! Bad!"

Nifty pouted. "But he glows like the last one I stabbed! He glows so pretty!"

"Oh, you are referring to The Exorcists!" GM realized. "So, you're the famous Nifty that killed my First Man?"

Alastor's eyes widened before they narrowed, but he didn't say anything.

"Answer my damn question!" Husk said. "Who the fuck are you? How do you know my name? And what do you mean your First Man?"

GM then smiled. "Well, I suppose there's no better time than now for introductions! I am the Father of Heaven and Creation itself. I don't exactly have a name...but most mortals refer to me as God."

Charlie whipped her head around to the tall and very well dressed man. "Huh!?"

Vaggie made a strangled noise, suddenly hiding behind Charlie.

Then...Angel burst into laughter.

"Oh, please. Charlie's grandfather? Then I'm Moses. Char, don't listen to this guy. He's probably a guy who keeps a list of souls and that's how he knows Husk's name. He's probably a con artist."

Cherri nodded. "Yeah, listen to Angie! I mean, c'mon! This guy is God?"

Suddenly, GM then shapeshifted into a large bearded man wearing a white robe. "Were you expecting this?"

Angel rolled his eyes. "Obviously someone's done their homework. Look, I don't know whose rocks you're wanting to jack off, but trying to con the Princess of Hell? That's a dumbass move, even for an Angel. Get outta here, unless you want Nifty to steal your skin."

GM sighed, but his smile was still evident as he turned back to the form he was originally in. "Well, I was afraid you would all say this. But very reasonable! You would not believe the cruel things humans do and say it's what I wanted them to do. How can I prove it to you?"

Husk just growled a bit. "Flood something. Don't you do that?"

"Ohhh, that was not my proudest moment." GM grimaced before all four of his eyes lit up. "Actually! I may have just the thing to show you I am who I say I am!"

Charlie stepped closer. "And what's that?"

GM then merely tapped his foot and the entire hotel transformed into a large stage, with all of them even wearing golden versions of their original outfits.

Charlie's eyes widened and then she laughed as music began to fill the air.

GM then appeared beside his granddaughter, looking just as excited...and then? He began singing.

"~Well, let's see, I can conjure up 40 thieves! All of them with blades galore!~" GM said as he snapped his fingers and sure enough, what he said appeared and pointed their blades at Charlie.

Charlie backed up before being held up in the air and hoisted onto GM's shoulders.

"~But Charlie, you're in luck! Cause in your blood, you have a grandad who rarely fails!~" GM said as he turned all of the thieves into stardust and then threw it across the room. "~You have God's power in your corner now! Heaven's ammunition in your camp!~"

He then tossed Charlie into the air, only for her to land in a bouncy castle, which GM was suddenly bouncing on with her. "~You got some punch! Pizazz! And so much more, and all I gotta do is show a samp, so I'll say!~"

Then, a copy of him appeared in front of the others, but was giant. The guests at the hotel were as big as his foot.

"~Hello ma'am's and sirs! What would your pleasure be?~" The copy asked before shrinking and suddenly looking like a waiter, with his tophat being gone as well. "~Just let me take a prayer, I'll jot it down! You won't ever have a friend like me!~"

The copy then disappeared and teleported them all onto a dinner table. "~Life is a restaurant and now I'm your maitre'd! Come on, just tell me whatever it is you want cause you'll never have a friend like me!!!~"

That's when GM snapped his fingers and one by one, gourmet meals that would take hours to make appeared on the table one by one, with Charlie eagerly grabbing one as it suddenly exploded into miniature fireworks.

"~I pride myself on service!~" GM grinned before waving his cape and they were all suddenly below Charlie, who was sitting on a throne made entirely of jade and gold. "~I'm the boss! The king! The shah! Say what you wish, and it's yours, true dish! How about a little more baklava?~"

Then, Angel suddenly found himself sitting on a large pile of gold coins, with GM sitting beside him. "~Have some of column A!~"

Angel gawked at the coins, his eyes wide as he felt them, his mouth dropping as he realized that they were real. "Holy shit..."

Cherri was then on a pile of...bombs. She grinned wide before GM carried her off. "~Please don't try column B!~"

Then, once again, GM appeared beside Charlie with a wide grin. "~I'm in the mood to help you, Char! You ain't never had a friend like me!~"

GM then tipped his hat and a miniature version of him shot out of it, landing on the floor and doing a little dance routine with a cane and his feet tapping against the floor to add to the rhythm of the music. Then, the mini God tapped his foot a final time and lightning struck them all, but instead of killing them, it just teleported them to a large theater, with GM on stage.

"~Can your friends pull this!?~" GM said as he took off his own head, made duplicates of said head, and began juggling them.

Another GM appeared and started spinning lightning around like a lasso. "~Can any of you do that!?~"

A final GM appeared in the middle of his duplicates and took off his hat...and took out a galaxy, holding it in the palm of his hand. "~Can your friends pull this out of their little hat? Oh, and can your friends go-"

Then, all three Gods exploded into fireworks, with another appearing behind the cast. "I'm over here!"

Charlie was smiling the biggest grin she could muster, looking like she was having the time of her life.

GM then took her hands and spun her around as the two danced to the music before the Father of Heaven spun around. "~Can your friends go 'abracadabra' and then 'letter' rip?~" He said as he summoned a giant version of the letter G in his hand, clearly making a Dad joke.

Charlie laughed before GM snapped his fingers over and over again as they all went back to the stage from the beginning one by one.

"~And then make us suckers disappear?! So, don't sit there slack-jawed, buggy-eyed! I'm here to answer all your midnight prayers!~" GM said as he did a backflip and leapt into the ground as if it were a pool.

And to fit what he just did, they were all suddenly just relaxing at a pool, with the water being various colors such as gold, blue, and pink.

GM then floated by, holding up a contract that only had scribbles on it instead of actual words. "~You got me bona fide, certified! You have a God for your mortal affairs!~"

They were then in space, bouncing from planet to planet and shockingly being able to breathe in the void of the universe just fine. GM then leapt off a planet like a trampoline, dragging Charlie with him.

"~I have a powerful urge to help you out! So, what's my task? I really gotta know!~" GM grinned. "~I can do a list that's three miles long and all I gotta do is sing like sooo!~"

Finally, they were once again back on stage. GM spun around his cane. "~My dear granddaughter, yes, you have a dream! Or two! Or three! And I'm on the job because I'm God! So, I hope you'll have a friend, hope you'll have a friend! Hope you'll have a friend, hope you'll have a friend!~"

He then snapped his fingers again, summoning everything he had showed off earlier. "~Cause you'll never have a friend like meeeee!!!~"

Charlie laughed and danced around, even taking GM's cane and spinning it around.

"~The world can't have a God like me!~" GM finished before they were all back in the hotel as if nothing happened.

Angel's eyes were wide as he struggled to process, then he slowly turned to Vaggie. "S-s-so...th-that's actually...?"

Vaggie nodded rapidly.

Angel stared...then he sat down, grabbed a whiskey bottle, then downed half of it in just a minute, his eyes still wide.

Husk, on the other hand, smashed his beer bottle in his hand. "What the fuck was in that...?"

Alastor looked at himself before his eyes went static-y for just a moment. Only for a moment. He seemed to have already processed what had happened.

Nifty blinked. "Again! Again!"

"...HOW...WHAT...?" Cherri breathed.

Charlie then squealed. "GRANDPA!!!"

"CHARLIE!!!" GM smiled as he hugged his granddaughter, spinning her around. "Oh, it's so good to finally meet you!!! I'll give you 200 birthday gifts to make up for all the lost time!!!"

"Are you kidding?!" Charlie laughed. "I'm just glad to meet you!!! I heard so many stories!!!"

"And I've heard just as many stories!" GM grinned. "Like the fact that you did what no one could and rehabilitated a Sinner!!! Congratulations!!!"

Alastor snapped his head over. "...excuse me?"

Charlie was now finally like her friends, rendered absolutely flabbergasted.

"W-wait...what?" Vaggie whispered.

Angel's eyes widened and he dropped the whiskey bottle.

"W-wait...is...is it Pentious?" He asked quickly. "Sir Pentious is okay?!"

"Sir Pentious is doing fantastic actually!" GM chuckled. "He and his Egg Boizs are absolutely delightful. And I've only met them once."

Cherri's eye rolled to the back of her head and she actually fainted.

Husk rubbed his head. "...I NEED TO FUCKIN' SIT DOWN."

"The phony bad boy is alive?" Nifty asked.

GM laughed. "And in Heaven! According to Emily? He asks about you all everyday."

Charlie...then began to cry.

GM's eyes widened. "Oh, Charlie! No, no, please don't cry! It's okay! It's okay!"

"Vaggggieeeee!" Charlie sniffled. "Weeee diiiid ittttt!!!"

Then, finally Lucifer walked down the stairs. "What in the unholy Hell is going on in-?"

GM gasped. "Oh! Lucifer! Hello!"

"...NOPE!" Lucifer said as he immediately headed back to his room.



(Song Used: Friend Like Me sung by Robin Williams or Will Smith depending which version of Aladdin you watch! Obviously with some altered lyrics!

Yes, this is a musical too!)

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