What do you wear to a casual date at home? I want to look cute but comfortable, sexy, but not trying too hard. I hate this part about dating and how uneasy it feels. I twirl around in my blue sundress and glance at the green floral one discarded on the bed behind me.

The green dress is slightly shorter, revealing more of my upper thighs while the blue dress has a deeper curve, revealing more cleavage. Both of the dresses frame my figure and highlight my waistline.

I send a picture to the group chat for feedback, and it only takes a second before my phone is pinging with replies from the girls.

'I love the dress! Very cute, casual, and a little sexy. What's the underwear situation like? You better not be wearing granny panties to a date with a hot man.' - Talia.

'Girl, be prepared. You don't want to be caught in granny panties.' - Jordan.

'Learn from my pain, Ellie, it's horrific.' - Talia.

'I pack a spare pair in my bag. You never know when you'll need them.' - Jordan.

'Oh, that's a good idea.' - Talia.

Jordan's right about that, but we have two very different reasons for carrying spare underwear. I flip the dress up and eye the nude high wasted underwear. It's silky and soft, but not very sexy. I haven't been on a date in a while and certainly haven't had any action in an even longer time. Can you forget how to have sex?

"Shit," I grumble.

I wander into the kitchen and pour myself a glass of wine and take a big gulp before heading back to the bedroom. I dig through my drawer until I find a pair of black lacy underwear. I haven't worn cute underwear since before Noah was born; I hope they fit.

I quickly change my underwear and clear up the mess in the bedroom. Perhaps things will lead to us having sex, perhaps they won't. I haven't decided if I want to do it this soon, but I guess one should always be prepared for the unexpected.

The doorbell rings, and I chug the remainder of the glass and walk to the door. Butterflies and excitement erupt in my stomach, which makes my heart race. I take a deep breath before swinging the door open, like ripping a band-aid off.

"Hi." I smile.

"Hey, beautiful."

We hug and he softly kisses my cheek. He's wearing that nice, musky aftershave from the first night we met, and it's just as intoxicating as the last time.

"I bought this for you as well." He holds up a bottle of white wine. "I wasn't sure what you drink, so I tried to find something that's not too sweet or bitter."

"You didn't have to, but thank you."

"I wanted to contribute something. Very hard when you don't know what you're doing."

"Welp, that's about to change now you're here." I wink.

"I'm excited to learn what we're doing."

"We're building Lego flowers! I have wine, beer, and a grazing board. We can order food as well, but there are heaps of cheeses and meats. I wasn't sure what you liked, so I bought a bit of everything."

"Mm, I'm excited."

"You know, it's hard to find the botanical collection. I searched five shops until I found this. Noah complained the entire time, so I bought him some more Lego just to make him happy."

"Oh, I could have told you that." He laughs.

"Would you like a drink now?"

"Sure, can I have a beer?"

"Of course, follow me."

The kitchen is a few steps down the hallway and it opens to the lounge room. I put the wine in the fridge and pass Daniel a beer. I pour myself another glass of wine and take the grazing platter out.

I place it on the coffee table and take a seat on the floor. He sits next to me and takes a sip from his drink. I open the box and dump the bags of Legos onto the table and look at the instruction manual.

Please let this be easier than it looks, so I don't look stupid in front of him. I flip the manual open and smile at the descriptions of each of the flowers.

"Now this is cute. I love it."

"Just wait until you build the flowers. They look better than the image. Plus, the petals move so you can style them."

My phone buzzes, but I ignore it.

"I think we should do half each?"

"Sounds like a plan."

Daniel cringes as I rip the manual in half and hand it over. I innocently bite my lower lip and slide his portion of the Lego bags across. Once these flowers are built, I'm chucking the box in the bin. I'm not the kind of person that's going to store the box in a safe place.

It buzzes again and Daniel looks at me, but I just smile in an attempt to just ignore it.

"You can check your phone in case it's about Noah."

"I'm sorry. I don't like to be on my phone while I'm with people."

"If there's something wrong, I would prefer you're able to be reached."

I retrieve my phone from the kitchen and glance at the screen.

There's notifications from the girls sending gifs and messages about me finally getting some action tonight. I mute the group chat and return to Daniel.

"Is everything okay?"

"Just a group chat I'm in going off about our date tonight."

"How am I doing so far?" He grins.

"Jordan and Talia are very impressed with you, but it's my mother and Noah you have to impress. I thought she was wrong about Craig, but look where it got me." I roll my eyes. "Now I follow whatever she tells me."

"I have faith I can do that." He grins.

"Building Lego isn't hard, hey?"

"It's just fiddly and time-consuming, but worth it in the end."

"I already know where I'm putting the flowers." I smile.

We open the plastic bags and pour the Lego out. I push the pieces into one big pile while Daniel organises the pieces into groups. I frown at my pile and turn to him.

"Are you supposed to organise the Lego like that?" I frown.

"You can build and organise it however you want."

"Hm, okay."

Sipping wine and building Lego is easy enough until it comes to the lavender flower. The tiny flowers are fiddly and hard to put on. I drop a couple of pieces on the floor before growling under my breath.

Daniel leans over and his fingers brush against mine, sending sparks bursting. I hold one part of the Lego and he places the small flowers on it.

"Thanks."

I glance at him and he's so close, his breath fans across my lips. His blue eyes search mine while I stare at his lips. They're so close, I could kiss them.

He cups my cheek and strokes it with his thumb.

"You're cute when you blush."

My cheeks go a darker shade of pink.

I etch closer until he takes control and kisses me. His grip tightens and his lips move against mine. His tongue traces my lower lip before meeting mine. My heart flutters and I want more. Daniel pulls back and meekly smiles.

"I would love to continue, but we should finish these flowers."

"Oh, okay." I sigh.

We continue in silence until the last flower is built. I rummage through the kitchen until I find a crystal glass vase. Daniel places the flowers in the vase and I adjust the petals so they're styled perfectly.

"Where are you going to put them?"

"I was thinking on the shelf near the television." I point to the cluster of black floating shelves beside us. There's an assortment of picture frames, books, and a couple of plants. I take some of the plants to the kitchen window ceil, and when I return, Daniel is looking at the pictures.

There's a picture of Noah's birthday last year with Craig and his parents.

"I hate that photo, but Noah wanted to frame it and I couldn't say no.

"He has no idea what his father is like, and I don't want to shape his perspective for him. He doesn't realise it isn't normal for his father to live with us and just show up when he wants. I knew parenting would be hard, but nobody teaches you how to deal with this."

"It's a tricky situation. It's nice that you let Noah pick photos he likes."

"Another wonderful perk about dating a single mother."

He bumps his shoulder into mine and smiles.

"Just as long as you're over him."

"If I never have to see him again, it would be too soon." I sigh. "I'm sorry if I mention him too much. I want to be open about how things really are and what you're getting into with me."

"I like that you do what's best for your son. It says more about your character."

"I love Noah and I would do anything for him."

"I can't wait to meet Noah. I hope he likes me."

"I hope everything works out." I smile up at him.

I take his hand and lead him to the couch. He passes me the wine glass and I take another sip. It's now the wine buzz gets to me.

"We've talked about my ex enough now. What about you? Anyone I should be worried about?"

"I've only had one serious girlfriend who I thought I'd marry, but we had indifferent opinions and it eventually broke our relationship."

"Oh." I frown. "What happened?"

Daniel frowns and stares at his fingers. I lace my fingers through his and squeeze tightly.

"If you don't want to talk about it, then that's okay."

"I want a relationship where we can talk about anything and work as a team. That's very important to me."

"We all deal with our pain differently. I used to keep my cards close to my chest, but now I lay everything out because I'm tired of people leaving because they don't understand me or my situation. I promise that when you're ready to talk about it, I'll listen and try to understand."

Daniel's shoulders slump and he sighs.

"She fell pregnant and decided to have an abortion. It almost killed me. I wish we could have spoken about it and decided together. It's her body, but it was my baby as well."

"I'm so sorry." I gasp.

"I don't know if I would have been a good father, but sometimes I think about if the baby would have been a boy or a girl, my eyes or hers."

My chest expands and swirls with pain, thinking about if I was in his shoes and Noah was ripped from me.

"I can't begin to imagine what you're going through."

"After that, it got me thinking about where my life is going and what I want."

"And what do you want?"

"A family. I started building my dream home, which I hope to start a family in, eventually."

"You really don't mind that I already have a child?"

"I really don't mind, Ellie."

"Thank you for sharing this with me."

"You're right about putting it all out there. I'm not getting any younger, and I really like you."

I can't stop the bright smile creeping onto my lips.

"How many kids do you want?"

"Just whatever feels right. Could be two, five, or ten." He shrugs.

"I like that."

"I like you." He grins.

"I like you as well."

We lean in for a kiss and he places his hand on my thigh. As our kiss deepens, he squeezes my thigh, then his hand travels up to my waist. He tugs on my waist, and I move to straddle his waist. I cup his face and wind my fingers into his curly hair.

His fingers inch under my dress and his thumb strokes patterns near my inner thigh. Heat radiates to my center and I coil back. He instantly removes his hands and places them on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry. It's been a while since I've been lucky like that."

"We can take things slower." He kisses my forehead and strokes my hair.

I trace the outline of his face with my thumb and smile.

"Talia and Jordan told me I should prepare and I think it's psyched me out."

"Prepare?" He raises his eyebrow and chuckles. But the glint in his eyes proves he's very intrigued by this conversation.

"They told me not to wear my granny undies. Turns out it's basically all the underwear I own." I bite my lip. "Luckily, I managed to find one pair of sexy undies at the very bottom of the drawer. I almost lost hope looking. I'm not sure if they're even that sexy. Just some black lace bikini cut design."

"I don't care what you wear because you wouldn't be wearing it for long." He winks.

I glance at his lips before meeting his gaze.

"Have you been with somebody who's had a baby?" I tilt my head to the side and purse my lips.

"Oh, Ellie, I'm beginning to believe you don't realise how beautiful you are."

The way he looks at me feels like he's looking straight through to my soul.

"Sometimes this feels too good to be true. Are you hiding a secret family? Are you going to kill me? Perhaps I've been hurt so much that I doubt good things can happen to me."

"I don't have anything to hide. The one thing I was worried about, I've already told you and you haven't kicked me out."

"Why were you worried about telling me?"

"Because I'm afraid to tell people about the abortion and how I didn't want her to have it. How much it's actually affected me. I'm waiting for someone to tell me I was wrong and I can't handle that."

"It's a complicated situation and your feelings are valid."

He softly kisses my forehead, and I move to sit beside him. I rest my forehead against his shoulder and stifle a yawn.

"You look tired."

"So do you." I poke his side.

"I should head home before I'm too tired to drive."

He stands up and pulls me to my feet. We walk to the front door and stare at each other. He hugs me and holds me close. I rest my head against his chest and listen to his heartbeat.

"Goodbye," he murmurs.

He pulls back and kisses me. A long kiss. Sweet and tender, the kind that makes my toes curl.

"I really mean goodbye this time." He chuckles.

I open the door and he holds my hand. His fingers slide through mine and I wave goodbye. I close the front door and lean against it. I slide down and touch my lips, remembering how his lips felt against mine.

It's funny how love makes you feel so young and reckless. 

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