Life is a joke right now. Not a very funny one let me tell you.

Sometimes I wonder if someone is watching and this chaos unfold and laughing at how ridiculous it all is because that's all I want to do sometimes. ★

I wanna just step back and watch it all happen I don't want to be in it!! Ugh this is awful this is the worst. No I'm not crying while writing this and that is most certainly NOT. Tear stain.

★ It's the blood of my enemies ★

Which right now is everyone I grew up with and raised me to be the person I am today so....

If you're reading back and you can't remember what on Earth I'm talking about, then fix your brain please. KOUSUKE is a FILTHY LIAR. ★

Why did this happen?

~~~

I'm not overthinking it, right?

There could be plenty of people in the world with the same tattoo of the drawing I've been so mindlessly doodling for years. Maybe that person so happened to break into my house for, money or something, and I coincidentally saw the tattoo and diving into major concussions right now.

For years, for as long as I can remember actually, I've been doodling little black stars. Sometimes alone, and sometimes in pairs, where two stars are sharing a point. And, coincidentally, someone with that same drawing more or less showed up at my house.

I sighed.

No way it's a coincidence, right?

In a way, I had to be thankful this all happened. While I always did tell myself I wanted to remember everything about who I was and where I came from, I never made an active effort to try and pursue that. One of the reason was that, well, I'm just a girl trying to get used to school. Even before that, I had no power to go out and actively look.

Because I thought all the 'adults' with power could.

So, in a way, I was thankful this happened. It was some kind of messed up wake up call to try and tell me that I should everything I can to take matters into my own hands. I don't know what I'll be looking for, and I don't know how, but there's no use moping around. I just have to get over it.

Everyone I trusted, everyone I trusted all my life, they were keeping things from me.

See? Not so hard.

Would it be bad to wish for another... fit? Would it be bad to wish my brain would fizz out again just to give me another clue? The last time it happened was when I spoke to Todoroki for the first time.

Oh my God.

I jumped out of bed and practically hopped into the seat of my desk, wiping off everything with my arm onto the floor. I grabbed my notebook and began to furiously flick through, trying to find the page I wrote down everything I remembered about my dream.

Damn it, Ryuu, I thought I was getting better at remembering things. I can't believe I forgot all about that. But thankfully, I did write it down.

I sighed in relief when I found the page I was looking for. It was a right mess. You could see where I struggled to write anything because there were splotches of black ink.

You know when you hold your pen to your paper for too long, trying to remember or think of something to write? The ink then goes on to flow down into a dark puddle and you're thinking to yourself 'just move your hand and write something down'. I chuckled a bit, suddenly having the urge to cry.

There were spots of crinkled up paper, where tears had managed to fall and then dry up. It kind of looked nice, though that sounds weird to say.

There was a name I had written down in big, block letters, and then encased in a box.

I was scared of even saying the name, worried that I don't know, maybe it'll trigger an explosion or maybe another headache?

I whispered under my breath, "Kana."

Nothing happened.

Placing a hand on my beating heart, I felt a little ridiculous thinking that something might happen just because of a name.

But Kana... that's a girl's name, right?

There's a place to start.

Where do I start?

~~~

Oh gosh, it's been a while, hehe. ★

By I while I mean not that long but I've calmed down a little and I feel more clear headed, so I'm back so soon.

So a lot happened. Someone broke into our house and there was a tattoo on their neckish kinda area, and it was the same doodle I've been doodling for years. ★★

And Kousuke tried to hide it.

If Kousuke knows, everyone knows. That means Akki has been lying to me for who knows how long.

Eh, welp.

I've decided that I've been relying on them for a little too long and that I need to do something about this all myself but, like, how?

They all work as bounty hunters and stuff like that so they have major connections. I'm just a girl with barely three friends :(

And I don't know if I can even trust. If I can't trust them, can I trust anyone??

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

★★★★★

~~~

"As you all know, your trip to the Unforeseen Simulation Joint, or USJ if you wish, is coming up soon, and I want you all to be ready, physically and emotionally."

Aizawa.

He definitely knows. I should've seen this.

Ever since I came to school, he's been acting weird, even when he comes over to visit, he avoids any long conversations with me. He also sometimes just looks at me and sighs, then pats my head as if there's some kind of feeling of guilt or pity. Sometimes, Akki and Aizawa work together because they interlink, so yes, if there's something about me everyone knows about then Aizawa is included in that because why wouldn't he be?

Okay, maybe I'm getting a little ahead of myself, but I can't help. Everything seems like a clue to me now, and I can't say that the mystery side of me isn't kind of enjoying this.

But still, this was frustrating.

"-which is an essential part of becoming a hero. You must be emotionally prepared-"

Still, just looking at his face made me really, really annoyed.

I still haven't decided if I want to be angry and petty, or pretend that everything is okay and normal. It makes more sense for me to pretend everything is okay, right? But, gosh, it just made me so mad and annoyed and upset every time I thought about it.

"Then there's the Conflagration Zone where it's always burning to simulate a fire hazard so you can-"

It makes the most sense to pretend like everything is okay, right? That makes the most logical sense.

Let's do it.

After we were dismissed from homeroom, I quickly headed out to our first lesson, science, because I didn't want to look at Aizawa anymore.

"Hey, Sakata!"

I turned to see Kirishima smiling at me, with Bakugou begrudgingly following him, hands in his pocket.

Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap, oh crap!

I've been slowly getting used to Kirishima, Sero and Mina, but I never know how to talk to Bakugou!! What was I supposed to say?! God, I wish Denki was here, he always manages to keep the mood up and he manages to calm me down somehow.

I gulped as I stopped walking, waiting for them to catch up.

I can do this, I can do this, I can do this, I can do this.

Kirishima gave me his shining smile, of course, I expected nothing from the angel himself. He walked with a bounce in his step, excited about who knows what, "I'm so excited for the USJ training!! It's like we're all finally one step closer to becoming heroes!"

Ah, when he says it like that, I guess he has a point.

I didn't even think of that.

Bakugou clicked his tongue, "Some getting so excited about it, you moron. It's all going to be a simulation anyway!"

Even though he says that he looks just as excited as Kirishima, even a little more if anything. He was resisting the urge to smirk because his lips were twitching and his eyebrows were bouncing.

I forgot how much fun Bakugou was.

Summoning all my courage, I opened my mouth to speak. "You look pretty excited for someone who knows it's just a simulation."

"BWAHA!" Denki suddenly laughed, and we all turned, not even realising he was there. He didn't stop, he just pointed at Bakugou and laughed some more, "NYAWWWWW is our little bebe Kacchan excited about being a hero??"

"WHA-?!"

Bakugou was so shocked and I couldn't help but chuckle a bit. Then he whipped his head around to glare at me, and that made me go off.

I laughed as loud as I wanted.

It was the loudest and hardest I've ever laughed at my time in UA.

Denki laughed harder and Kirishima joined it. It wasn't that Denki was that funny because he really wasn't, it was just the symphony of laughs and occasional snorts were so addicting that you wanted to keep on going, even Bakugou had a hard time fighting off a smile.

Even so, he tried to regain some control. "SH-SHADDUP! SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE I KILL YOU ALL!"

"Hehe," I giggled. "I'd like to see you try."

Immediately, I wished I didn't say that. I didn't want to start another fight...

Instead, he grinned, "Okay then, USJ. That's where the real battle begins!"

I smirked, "You're so on."

I really forgot how fun Bakugou was.

~~~

The rest of the day went by without much issue, but every time I would see Aizawa, I would avoid him like the plague. I wouldn't make it too obvious or anything, but I don't know.

I just don't know.

He didn't seem to notice I guess, but you know, just in case I still avoided him.

I didn't have to worry about avoiding him any longer because we have the weekend, then USJ. I was a little excited, I wasn't going to lie, it would be a lot of fun trying to use my quirk in different conditions and climate. Competing with Bakugou was just an added bonus.

Bakugou...

All of a sudden, I had a great idea.

Wait, no, the more I thought about it, the dumber it sounded. In addition to that, if I worded it wrong, I could really hurt his feelings and I don't want something like that to happen.

However, the more I thought about it, the dumber it sounded, and I didn't even know if he would understand or if I'm just overthinking a comment he made.

There's no harm in trying... right?

I just need to think about my wording. Okay, phew, I got this.

The lessons seemed to whizz by, and by the time I realised, it was lunch. I guess it was being I was in my head the entire time, and couldn't really focus on anything else.

This is bad. I need to stop doing that because the last thing I want to do is fall behind everyone else and have to catch up, on top of this whole thing as well.

Before I lost my determination, I set out to find him, and there he was sat with Denki and Kirishima. Thank God.

"Ba-"

I couldn't do it.

Oh, crap, what am I supposed to do?

One, two, three.

"Bakugou!"

He turned around and blinked a couple times before his eyes landed on me. Surprise was evident on his face and to be honest, I couldn't blame him. We don't exactly talk a lot. He sighed, "What the heck do you... want?"

He sounded a little unsure towards the end, maybe it's because he felt bad because I looked like I was close to sprinting out the exit because I was. I gulped, "Can I talk to you? Alone? Please."

Bakugou looked a little embarrassed, but he nodded anyway and started to get up. Denki glanced between the two of us, quite a few times as he started to get more and more frantic, "Woah, woah, woah , what's going on here?!"

"Kaminari..." Kirishima sighed and shook his head.

"You're not about to, like, confesses your love or anything?!"

"DUNCE DACE, I swear to fucking god, shut your trap before I make you!"

I started heading towards the exit, hoping Bakugou would just follow me because I didn't have the energy to make excuses. Thankfully, he did, we headed outside and as soon as the cold air hit my face, I felt a little calmer.

It's okay, it's okay, it's okay, I can do this.

~~~

Skip this if you don't play Genshin

This authors note if just me being a fucking nerd so yes hahah I'm so sorry download genshin

GUYS YOU DONT UNDERSTAND I LOST THE 50\50 ON VENTI AND GOT DILUC AND WOSHED ON CHILDE AND ZHONGLIE DIDNT GET EITHER OF THEM

AND I GOT THIS BEAUTIFUL BOY

IMMA BEF HIM UP SOMETHING GOOD GAVE HIM SOME SPICY ASS ARTEFACTS THAT IVE BEEN FARMING FOREVER

AMDJSJSHSJA I need those blue thingys from the archipelago 💀💀

BUT HES SO PRETTY AHHHH 🥰🥰🥰