When your told to be quiet your hole life then your given something that gives you a way to speak and than they say to not use it because for once they want you to speak and you don't know how to because you've watched them your whole life and you know they won't like who you are, and you are to afraid to do something wrong because your mind creates the worse scenario, and all you want to do it not exists. For things to go back to the way they where. You have been Hoping for them to notice you your whole life and when they finally do you can't speak. And this whole time your mind and the not real things are the only ones you can talk to without breaking more than you are...these are the things that I do every day of my life