Shawn and I went to his backyard, both smiling until we saw the scenery. Tamara was in one side of the yard, Shawn's mom on the other side with Caitlyn and their dad was nowhere to be seen. Same with his brother. I thought my awkward silences were bad.

Then Shawn's dad appeared out of nowhere and his face went red. I don't think he was expecting for things to be this bad.

Then Steven came out of the kitchen and his eyes went wide to the sight of my best friend. His dad patted him on the back and said, "Relax son, she's your sister." He sighed loudly and I could hear a slight laugh from Tamara.

Then Shawn spoke. "Oh and I invited Emma, if that's okay?" His mom's face softened. "That's okay honey. The more the merrier." She smiled at me and then her face went back to her bored look. I'm pretty sure I wasn't the only one who noticed that she wasn't very pleased with her step-daughter who'd she'd never met being at her house.

Once Shawn's dad started cooking meat for the barbecue the silence ended. He talked about how nice it was to have all of his children in one house (to which Shawn's mother scoffed), about how thankful he was to have Tamara and I with them, and how happy he was that he had such a big family.

It was all very nice until we started eating and DAMN Shawn's dad was a good cook. Yes, it was a simple barbecue but not even my dad can get into that level of deliciousness.

"Tamara, how is your mom doing?" Shawn's mom asked, not even bothering to look up. Tami swallowed her food and sipped a little from her drink. "She's doing great actually now that..." Her face went blank. I knew what she was going to say. Ever since her dad started helping them, but I don't think she was ready to call him that. "Now that you are helping her she's gotten a lot better. She was really thankful that you invited me over tonight." Her voice was shaky and everyone could tell she was trying hard not to cry because of the nerves.

But Shawn's mom didn't get it.

"And has she had another incident with the drugs?" Shawn's dad stood up and practically yelled, "Felicia!" Her mom stood her ground. "I was just asking her. If her mom still has the problem she could always come here." Their father sat back down though I could tell he was still really mad and Tami looked like she was close to tears. But we were all stunned that Mrs. Becker actually wanted to do something good for her stepdaughter.

Tami took another sip from her drink and her step mother said, "I'm sorry if I sounded rude. It just makes me sad that my children had a good life while you've had to grow up practically with a single mother." Tami nodded. She was speechless like the rest of us.

Soon after we were all laughing and getting along. The Beckers and Tamara actually looked like a family and I started noticing the ways they were all similar. Like how they had the same nose as their father and how Tami's mouth curved in the same way as her dad's did when they laughed. How could I have not noticed sooner? They were all so alike.

At eleven Mr. and Mrs. Becker started cleaning everything up. They were moving the table away and cleaning the yard. Tamara and I seemed to be the only ones who didn't know what was happing. Then they brought blankets from inside the house and I understood.

They put blankets and pillows on the grass and they sat down. Then Tami whispered something to me. "It reminds me of the only December 31st my mom and I spent with my dad. We lay blankets on the floor and looked up into the sky. Then we waited for the fireworks to begin." She had tears in her eyes and I held her in my arms. Then we both did as everyone else.

Felicia and Mark (Tamara's and the Becker's dad) were in each others' arms looking up. I had my head on Shawn's chest and Tami's head on my stomach. Caitlyn was lying down with her head on her sister's legs, Steven just lay there away from everyone and the babies were inside in their room where hopefully they wouldn't be woken up by the fireworks.

At twelve thirty I got a text message from Logan saying, We had our first kiss tonight! We were going to stay at the apartment but didn't have keys so we'll be at dad's house, don't come! I laughed at his message but saddened when I remembered that if he wasn't home I was alone.

"Are you staying at your house?" Tami shook her head. "I'm staying here tonight. Why? Wasn't Logan in The Town?" I gave her a weak smile. "He's at my dad's with his girlfriend and doesn't want me to go there. Stupid boys." We both laughed. "Wait, but isn't your dad in Georgia? How will he get in?" I nodded. "He is but I guess he left Logan a key." She nodded.

We were sitting on one of the couches in the living room when Steven came out of nowhere and sat between us. "How are my sister and my sister in law doing this new year?" Tami and I looked at him and said in unison, "What?" His face went red. "What?"

Shawn and Caitlyn came in and sat on the other two couches. "Where are you staying tonight?" Shawn asked. I leaned my head on Steven's shoulder and yawned. "I don't know. Probably go to a hotel or something." Then Caitlyn interfered. "Well if Tami's staying tonight, maybe you can too?" I could hear the hope in her voice. I could also see the hope in Shawn's eyes and I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't nervous when I saw it.

"I'll go ask my parents." And with that Caitlyn walked to her parents room and left us teenagers in the room.

We sat in silence until Caitlyn came back. From time to time Shawn's eyes would look at mine as if trying to tell me something I couldn't understand. "Hey Emma, can-" He was interrupted by his sister who was overly excited by the fact that I would be staying over.

Steven, Caitlyn, Tamara, Shawn and I talked for hours until we fell asleep on the couch. I never knew what Shawn wanted to tell me but I thought it was best to keep silent.

In the morning I had a text from Logan saying that I could finally come home. When Shawn saw me smiling at my phone he said, "Why are you smiling at your phone? You know I'm right here right?" I rolled my eyes and laughed. "I'm talking with my brother dummy. I'll be leaving soon and spend the day with him, by the way." He nodded and started walking to his to room when he turned around.

"Hey so can we talk about-" "Breakfast!" His dad yelled from the kitchen. "We'll talk later, okay?"

We were greeted by his parents who were serving the food. "So how's 2018 treating you all?" said Mrs. Becker with a huge smile on her face. Steven entered the kitchen and put his arm around his mom's shoulder. "Well, dear mother, 2018 has been so far very good. Oh those waffles smell delicious! I haven't eaten anything since last year!" I tried to contain my laugh. It was a dumb old joke but it will forever be funny.

Then Mr. Becker said, "Dang is Caitlyn still sleeping? Someone wake her up, she's slept way to long. She's been sleeping since last year!" We all laughed. Seriously, those jokes never get old.

We ate until we were sure we wouldn't eat for a month. I ate probably eight waffles. Don't judge me, I hadn't eaten since the year before. Haha, I'm sorry for my mediocre jokes.

An hour later I announced that I was leaving and thankfully my dad's house was just crossing the road because I wasn't about to go a long way in boy's clothes (because no, I hadn't changed since Shawn gave me clothes to change from my wet ones).

I opened the door of the house and saw my brother making out with his girlfriend on the couch. Just to annoy them I said, "Ew. Didn't you like have your first kiss last night?" They pulled away and I saw Logan roll his eyes and stand up. "What? Are you jealous that Shawnie hasn't kissed you like that?" He was about to hug me when I responded. "He did actually. He kissed me last night too." His eyes were so wide I was scared he might be left like that forever. "This is the part when you say "I'm just kidding"" I hugged my brother tight and said, "Well saying that would be a lie so no. But enough about me. Tell me about your night." They looked at each other and then at me. "Well how about you tell us about your night little sis?" I rolled my eyes and sat on the couch.

For the next hour or so we just talked about what had happened in our lives lately. They told me how they met and about their date and I told them everything that happened since Logan left. It was nice being with them, I hadn't laughed so much since the year before. Okay, I'm done with the lame jokes, I promise.

*

The day before school started was the most stressful day in my life. Normally I don't mind. I usually just ask my friends what outfit I should wear and stuff like that but there was a small issue with that. I had lost my friends on New Year's Eve.

Well, I had Shawn and Tamara but they had their own groups of friends and I wasn't about to be like "Hey give me attention! I have no friends!" Because no. I may not have friends but I do have some dignity.

The first day of school was going great. My mom drove me to school and Shawn and I walked together to class. It was so perfect that someone had to come and ruin it. That someone being Ashley Adams.

Five minutes before the bell rang all the phones in the hall rang. And I'm not exaggerating. Every. Single. One. Everyone looked at each other. Kind of like a Pretty Little Liars scene except the whole school got the text, not just the four Liars.

I checked my phone and I saw it. A poem written by Ashley titled "Want to know the truth?" It said:

Oh tell me Miss Perfect, do you enjoy it? Enjoy hurting us, humiliating us, destroying us? Tell me Miss Perfect, what hides behind those blue eyes? Tell me Miss Perfect; is it a joke to you? Forgetting what you've done and never saying sorry? Oh tell me Miss Perfect, do you enjoy loneliness? Do you enjoy having no friends? Do you enjoy being ignored? Well you brought that upon yourself so I won't say I'm sorry. Oh tell me Miss Perfect, how does it feel to be a puppet? How does it feel to be left behind? How does it feel to not be trusted? Do you like that feeling? I guess not Miss Perfect but look at what you've done! You got what you wanted and you got what you deserved. You mistreated those who love you, and now no one does. Ironic don't you think? How life goes in circles just like our past.

I felt all the eyes of people in the hall on me before I even finished reading. I didn't say a name but it was obvious it was about me. Ms. Perfect was something everyone had started calling me a few years back.

I felt the tears coming down before I even realized I was running, before I even realized Shawn was calling my name and even before I crashed into the poet herself. When she saw me all broken and hurt I could swear I saw something in her eyes be hurt as well but she hid it well. She started laughing while the rest of the group just stared at her. I, on the other hand, was going to the bathroom, hiding from the worst humiliation I'd ever been put through.

Lies. That's all it is. Lies. Lies to keep me away. Lies to kick everyone away. Lies to cover the fact that she doesn't like me. Lies to make me pay for forgiving our worst enemy, for following my heart. It's all just lies.

For first and second period I had to have a talk with the new psychologist. I made my best to make her know just how pissed I was they'd replaced my mom with her. So I didn't answer her questions. Just the ones that would hopefully get Ashley in trouble for the bitch she is and always has been, even if she's great a hiding it. Even if she fooled everyone, including her closest friends.

By lunch I was feeling better except for the fact that I'd be sitting alone for the first time since middle school.

I was on the verge of tears in lunch. I saw my friends laughing and talking at our regular table. Everything about it was normal. Shawn was right that day we talked on Snapchat. If I left the group nobody would notice, only Vincent, who kept looking at me and asking if I was okay.

Shawn was about to sit with his friends at his normal table, completely to the other side of the cafeteria, when he saw me eating alone. He stood up with his tray and walked over to me. He said nothing. We just ate in silence until he whispered, "What to leave and eat somewhere else?" I looked up from my food tray and smiled.

Five minutes later there we were, singing to the top of our lungs in his car heading over to the pizza restaurant near the school. We sang to a bunch of songs until one caught me off guard when Shawn completely lost it and started singing like there was no tomorrow to There's Nothing Holding Me Back by...well I don't remember the name of the singer but I'm sure you've heard the song.

We ordered pizza and started talking.

"How are you doing? You know, the poem and all." I took a bite from my pizza trying to evade the question, but I knew he'd keep asking until I answered. "Not good. But I mean, most of it are lies. I did nothing to her or my friends. So it doesn't matter as long as you and I know it." He smiled and continued eating.

"Hey Emma! First you betray your friends and then ditch school with him? Well that's low." I looked up to see a girl from school who was also ditching school. I rolled my eyes and kept eating. "What? So you're deaf now?" Then Shawn looked up and said, "Why don't you just mind your own business? Is your life so boring you have to care about everyone else's?" Her eyes went wide and her face went red. She brushed it off and rolled her eyes. "Rude much?"

After that we ordered our pizza to go and drove to Crossberry Park carefully in case my mom was near since we were so close to my apartment.

We got to the park without anyone's interference. We sat in bench looking at the playground and we finished eating our pizza.

We stayed at the park for hours until we knew for sure school was over and he drove me to my house.

I hugged him goodbye and went up the stairs to the third floor. I was welcomed by my mom who stood happily at the door.

She sat down on the couch and patted the seat next to hers. I, in a very confused state, put my things down and sat beside her. She looked at me with a wide smile and said, "Honey...I got the job!" Excitement stirred inside me. "Really?" "Yes!" She hugged me and celebrated.

After I let the news sink in I asked, "Wait, so we're moving?" She stopped what she was doing and she had a sad look in her eyes. "Yes, we will move to Florida. But before you say anything you have the rest of the semester. We'll leave before you start senior year...Please don't cry Emma. You know how scared I was we'd be broke? Now we won't be. It'll all be okay, I promise."

Tears started pouring and pouring. Why is it that I've been crying so much lately?

My mom held me in her arms and comforted me as much as she could. Don't get me wrong, I was happy she had a job but I didn't want to move. It wasn't the right time.

*
For a whole week Shawn and I ate lunch at the pizza place. He thought I was sad because of the whole "my friends hate me" thing, but in reality I was sad because those were the last few months I had with him.

On Friday he noticed that I wasn't paying any attention to my ex best friends. Well, it wasn't like I actually wanted to notice them since Vincent and Tamara actually made an effort to continue being friends with me despite Ashley's wishes. They'd text and call me every time they weren't hanging out with the rest. They'd become awfully close since the breakup, always being together to call me even if it was late at night.

"Okay spill it, what's wrong? I know it's not your "friends" that are bothering you so what is it? And don't play stupid." I sighed. It was time to come clean. "It's nothing, I swear." He nodded but I knew he'd ask me in a while.

We went back to school and last period felt like I'd been in the classroom for ten hours. I love Biology and all but the feeling of having to come clean was making time go slower.

By time the bell rang I was ready to talk to Shawn and tell him. I found him at his car waiting for me. I got inside and talked before he even had a chance to breathe. "You know how you're my best friend right?" He nodded. "Wasn't it Vincent?" "No, shut up and let me talk." He rolled his eyes and laughed. "Looks like Baby Witch finally learned to speak up for herself." I gave him a death glare, one that I'd perfected when I became friends with him. "Don't call me that!" He gave me his signature smile, the one that makes all the girls fall, and said, "Okay sorry...Baby Witch." My blood boiled and slapped him in the back of the head. "Oh fuck you!" He smirked and winked at me. "Oh, will you?" I rolled my eyes and looked away in shame and disgust. "You're a pig." He laughed and started the engine.

We were almost at my apartment when he said, "So what were you going to tell me?" I closed my eyes and tried to remember the speech I'd planned but suddenly the words had just run away from my memory. "I'm moving." I whispered. He stopped the car and looked at me. "What?" I managed to keep the tears inside for my sake. I'd probably become dehydrated if I cried one more time. "I have one more semester here before I leave." His eyes wandered outside the window. He looked like he was about to cry himself. "And where are you going to?" I lay me head on the window. "Florida." He laughed slightly, more like mocking. "Is this why you've been so sad and lost lately?" I nodded. "Okay."

We drove silently to my house. When we got there I invited him to stay. He got out of the car and sat on the couch. My mom came out of her room and saw us. I gave her a look and she understood that I'd told him. She gave me a nod and went back inside.

After a while of silently watching TV Shawn said, "Since you only have some months left here why don't we make the best of it and go to the beach? I'll text Tami and you text Vincent." I smiled and started texting Vincent. My mom got out of her room and asked for an explanation. I gave her my best smile and said, "Can we go out? Tami and Vincent will be there." She looked over to Shawn and said, "You won't keep her out late, okay?" He gave her a big smile. "Don't worry Mrs. R. I'll bring her back safe, sound and early." She smiled at both of us and nodded over to the door. We practically fell down the stairs by how fast we were going.

When we got there my only two other friends were there. They seemed to be in a quite deep conversation until they saw us. I hugged them both, having not done that in a while.

There were a lot of people at the beach like any normal day and most of them stared at us as if we were crazy. I don't blame them though, I mean, we are kind of crazy. But the best kind of crazy.

We were having a great time when a song came on that I immediately recognized. "Shawn, we have to dance this song. Despacito is the song from the first time we ever spent actual time together since we were kids!" Shawn blushed and started backing up. "No no. I don't dance. I don't know how to." I smiled. "Then I'll teach you."

When the song was over Tami gave Shawn a look and pointed (not very) discreetly at me. He shook his head and Vincent gave him too a signal. Shawn stuck his middle finger at both of them and turned his face back to me. We led me down the beach. "What was that about?" I asked laughing out of nerves than because it was funny. Shawn's face went red and he said, "Well, they were kinda helping me out with something. And they were...you know, that part doesn't matter. I'll just get on with it. Emma, will you be my girlfriend?"

Up until here the book is edited. After weeks of re writng and worsening my eyesight by using my computer I finally de-fanfictioned this and I'm very happy. I hope you all enjoy this new version of the book! Lots of love to all!