A/N: Hooray for not taking two months to update! I'm going to try to stick with one update a week for now. It's pretty doable so I think it'll work out. 

Also, a new cover made by moi! I love Drew Roy. <3 

Anyways, hope you guys enjoy! :) 

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Idiot For Hire

Chapter 7: It's Not What It Looks Like 

“Take. It. Back.”

Nathan, seeing the look on my face, chuckled nervously. “Uh, take what back?” He slowly inched closer to his closet, attempting to conceal the extremely conspicuous Kate Upton cutout Benjamin had inadvertently warned me about.

I raised an eyebrow at him, crossing my legs. I was sitting on the edge of his bed, and I was pretty sure his mattress was actually more comfortable than mine, although his giant fluffy blanket probably helped a bit. But seriously, what the hell? This was a guest room! Why didn’t I have this mattress? “Gee, I don’t know,” I finally said, snapping out of my envious train of thought. I’d just have to steal the mattress from him. “Maybe the blond cutout with the ginormous boobs you’re trying to hide?”

“I knew I shouldn’t have hid it in the closet,” he mumbled to himself. “Alright, fine, fine. I’ll take it back tomorrow.”

“Good.” I was surprised he’d given in so easily. I figured he’d fight it a little more, but I was glad he wasn’t pushing it on his first day. “Any other surprises I need to know about?”

Nathan shook his head. “Nope.”

“Really?”

“Really.” His face was completely serious at first, but when his eye began to twitch, he cracked and said, “Okay, maybe, but they’re not out in the open, and you don’t have a search warrant, anyway.”

“I don’t need a search warrant,” I said slowly. “I’m your boss.”

“You wanna search through my things?” Nathan asked, a mischievous glint in his eye. He shoved a suitcase under his bed, just having finished unpacking, and turned back to face me. “Be my guest. You can start with my underwear drawer, or maybe my porn collection over there.” He pointed towards two drawers with a pleased smirk.

“You’re disgusting. I’m leaving.” I shook my head at him and stood up, whirling away from him and striding out.

“Come on, I was kidding!” he called out.

Just as I went in my room, I remembered the mattress, and I went back to Nathan’s room, poking my head through the doorway. “By the way, I want your mattress. I need you to switch it for mine.”

“You want my mattress? What the hell?”

“It’s comfier than mine, and I want it. What’s the big deal?”

“I don’t know, it’s just ridiculous,” he spluttered, appearing slightly confused, as usual.

“I thought you were used to taking any request, no matter how ridiculous it may be,” I pointed out smugly, remembering what he’d written in his resume.

“Damn it. Fine. I’ll switch them.” Shaking his head and mumbling to himself, Nathan pulled his blanket off of the mattress and threw it aside.

If I said the only reason I’d ordered him to switch the mattresses was because I liked his better, I’d be lying. I did like his mattress better, sure, but I mostly just wanted to see him carry something heavy again. I mean, he hadn’t even grabbed the mattress yet, and I was already thinking of other objects I could make him carry.

When the mattress was finally bare, Nathan grabbed the mattress and lifted it, crying out, “What the f—what’s in this mattress, rocks?”

I fought a smile. “Foam beds are surprisingly heavy. I think my latex foam one is even worse than that one.”

If he was unhappy with my response, I couldn’t tell. The mattress was covering his face, but it wasn’t covering his arms, thank the Lord. I followed him as he made his way to my room, admiring the way his muscles strained under the pressure.

I had issues.

He set the mattress down on the floor and proceeded to throw everything off of my bed. I probably looked absolutely horrified when I exclaimed, “Watch it! I sleep on those sheets!”

Nathan didn’t reply; he just grabbed my mattress with a grunt and walked back to his room. As I’d guessed, my latex foam mattress was even heavier than his, and he nearly toppled over when he began to walk with it.

After putting each mattress in its new place, he did both of our beds and finally plopped down on my new bed, splaying out like it was his own. I sat down next to him and shifted around a bit, frowning overtly. “Yeah, you know what? This mattress isn’t as comfortable as I thought. I’m gonna need you to switch them back.”

His head slowly swiveled around, and I thought his eye was going to start twitching again. “You… what? No!”

“Taking orders, however ridiculous they may be?” I reminded him. “Does that ring a bell?”

He pressed his lips into a tight line, reluctantly sitting up. “I can’t believe this,” he grumbled, standing up and cracking his knuckles in preparation.

Nathan was just about to throw my blankets off again when I started laughing. “I’m just kidding. You don’t need to switch them. I like this mattress, but it’s nice to see you’re getting the hang of this job.”

His shoulders sagged in relief. “Thank God, because I thought I was gonna lose my balance and get squashed by that second mattress.”

I stood and patted him on the arm. I would have patted him on the shoulder, but his arm was closer. “You passed my first test. Good job.” The second I realized what I was doing, I dropped my hand. I’d just done the exact same thing I’d been annoyed at him for doing the day we met. What was wrong with me?

“First test? You mean there’s more?”

I shrugged, making my way over to my closet. “If I get bored, sure. Now, I’m gonna go work out for a bit, and I need you to make sure the gym is clean and cleared out.”

“Can I get a tour first? This place is like Hogwarts. I’d need the Marauder’s Map just to find a bathroom, and there’s no way I’d find the gym on my own.”

“There’s a bathroom by your room…”

“… I knew that. So… how about that tour?”

I rolled my eyes at his stupidity and reluctantly agreed to give him a tour. I didn’t really have the energy to work out, anyway. I hadn’t eaten much all day, and it probably would’ve been a really bad idea. I didn’t need Nathan worrying about my food intake or my gym schedule. He was the exact opposite of the vindictive nutritionist my mother had once hired for me, but I wasn’t sure that was a good thing.

We started the tour downstairs, in the basement, to be exact. I showed Nathan the wine cellar, and I had to slap his hand away from several bottles of wine when he thought I wasn’t looking. Next to the wine cellar was a full-service bar, my dad’s favorite room in the house. He wasn’t an alcoholic, by any means, but after a long day at work, having a few drinks was a treat.

“You have a game room?” Nathan asked incredulously, walking into the black-and-red room that neighbored the bar with an awed expression on his face. The game room had a pool table, a foosball table, dart boards, an air hockey table, and card tables, with two flat screen TVs on the wall and a jukebox in the corner. Video games were littered around the room, probably because of Trish, and there were a couple of couches to sit on.

The game room was my dad’s second favorite room in the house, and as a child, it had been one of mine, too. This was before my dad inherited my grandfather’s share of the family company and become the CEO of CIMCO, a multinational computer technology corporation headquartered right here in Los Angeles. Working under my grandfather had allowed him to spend more time with me at home, but that was a thing of the past. We’d both abandoned the room long ago.

“This is sweet,” Nathan exclaimed, tracing the edges of the tables as he walked through the room. “Can I just sleep in this room?”

“Just wait until you see the next room,” I said, opening the door to the neighboring room. It held my dad’s old basketball court. He and his brothers had grown up in this mansion, and the court had been built for them. I thought Nathan would appreciate the room since he’d played basketball in college, but he didn’t look happy at all. He looked upset.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, and I actually felt bad. I wouldn’t have shown him the room if I’d known it would make him upset. I didn’t know why I cared. He was just my assistant. Just Mousy’s brother.

He shook his head. “Nothing. Just brings back memories, that’s all. Let’s keep going. There’s what, a billion more rooms to look at?”

“Pretty close,” I said, relieved to see he was back to normal. I wasn’t good at the whole, er, comforting thing, if that was where that was going.

The gym was right next to the basketball court, and he seemed pretty impressed with its contents. When I showed him the indoor pool and the theater room, however, I thought he was going to melt into a puddle of excitement. Right as we walked into the theater room, he put an arm around me and said, “Adriana Martella, where have you been all my life?”

It was a normal-sized theater, the kind you’d see at most cinemas, except cleaner because of the lack of traffic, obviously. Trish and I had had several sappy movie marathons in this room, and it was one of my current favorites, partly because it was one of the few rooms my mother hated and rarely stepped foot in. Movies bored her to death, for some reason, and the only television shows she watched were fashion oriented.

I was going to lead Nathan back upstairs after showing him the theater room, but at some point, he slithered away and made his way over to the indoor pool again. I had a bad feeling about what he was about to do, so I ran after him. If he jumped into that pool, he’d leave a trail of water everywhere he walked. Plus, I was pretty sure the heat had already been turned off.

“Nathan, don’t even think—about it.” My voice died down as he did just as I expected: he jumped into the pool fully clothed. I glanced around for some towels he could use to dry off, but there were none on the towel racks by the pool. “Are you serious? There are no towels. You couldn’t have checked to see if there were towels around before jumping in fully clothed?”

Nathan slicked his hair back, moving the wet hairs away from his face. “Do I look like the kind of person that thinks and then acts?”

“No. Isn’t the water freezing?”

“I don’t know. Why don’t you see for yourself?” he asked, half of his mouth turning up into a smile.

I was about to tell him he was crazy when he reached over and grabbed onto my bare leg with his icy hand. I yelped as he pulled me into the water, shivering the second my skin made contact with the icy cold water. “Nathan, what the hell?” I screamed, slapping at whatever part of his body I could reach. He just started laughing, completely inconsiderate of my discomfort.

“What do you think?” he asked, ignoring the angry look on my face. “Cold, huh?”

“I hate you.” I was this close to telling him he was fired. This close, I swear to you, until I remembered my mother’s threat and decided Nathan was still the better option. 

“Come on. It’s not that bad. If we use our body heat—”

“Hate you,” I interrupted, crossing my arms over my chest. I wasn’t sure why the thought of just climbing out hadn’t occurred to me yet.

“Come on—”

“Hatred!”

He just laughed and finally gave me a boost up, helping me get out of the pool without having to swim over to the stairs. The breeze on the way up gave me goose bumps, and as I rubbed my arms in an attempt to warm myself up, I realized my dress was clinging tightly to my body and my soggy blazer was doing a shitty job of covering me up. Great.

“Shoot,” I mumbled, remembering my phone was still in my pocket. I quickly fished it out and breathed a sigh of relief when I realized it was still in its waterproof case. The home screen popped up when I pressed the power button, and all seemed well. “You’re so lucky I have a waterproof case,” I said to Nathan as he hoisted himself out of the water. “I would have killed you if you’d ruined my phone.”

He, however, wasn’t paying much attention to the phone. He was paying more attention to the dress now that he was out of the water. I quickly closed the blazer so it covered more of my body and turned around to go find some towels. I regretted turning around when Nathan commented, “You know, you don’t have the ass of a runway model. You have the ass of a swimsuit model.” Like I didn’t already know that. “Not that that’s a bad thing. Definitely not a bad thing,” he quickly added.

“Quit staring at my ass!” I pulled the blazer down as far as it would go, but it didn’t completely cover my butt, unfortunately.

Thankfully, he had some decency and moved faster to catch up with me and walk side by side. “Alright, now I’m cold. Where can we get some towels?”

“There’s a laundry room at the end of the basement,” I said, pointing straight ahead. “There should be some towels there and maybe some clothes, if we’re lucky.”

We weren’t lucky. There were two towels, but that was it, and those looked like they’d just been accidentally left behind. I grabbed one and used it to dry my hair off first, and Nathan grabbed the other one and began to take off his clothes.

“What are you doing?” I asked, eyeing him warily.

“Taking off my wet clothes so I don’t get sick?” he asked, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

And again, Nathan was so completely unashamed of everything he did that he didn’t even realize there was any need to be ashamed. “Yeah, but I’m standing right here,” I pointed out.

“Well, then, enjoy the view,” he said with a wink, continuing to strip off his clothes. I basically did exactly what he said and shamelessly checked him out when I thought he wasn’t looking. I hadn’t been wrong when I’d said his jacket was definitely covering something up a few days ago, because oh, my God, was it covering something up.

I didn’t realize I’d just been standing there staring at him until Nathan was dried off and wearing only a towel. He’d almost taken everything off with me standing right there, but I’d snapped out of my daze long enough to smack him with my towel and turn around.

“Aren’t you going to dry off?” he asked, an amused look on his face.

“Not with you in the room,” I said incredulously.

“Why not? I let you stare at me the entire time I was changing.”

“Because I’m not shameless like you,” I said, grabbing his arm and pulling him out of the laundry room. “Go stand outside while I dry off.”

“Alright, alright,” he said, letting me pull him all the way outside. I slammed the door in his face the minute he was out and quickly dried off. My mother would be home soon, if she wasn’t already, and we were in a pretty bad situation. We needed to get back upstairs and get some clean clothes on as soon as possible.

Once I was dry enough and in a towel, I opened the door and shuffled down the hallway, clutching the top of the towel with one hand and my phone with the other.

“Slow down there, Usain Bolt. What’s the rush?” Nathan called out, jogging to catch up to me. He also had enough sense to hold onto his towel as he jogged.

“My mom will be home soon, if she’s not already home. If she sees us like this, she’ll kill me. Not even you, but me.”

He must have decided that was a good enough reason, because he sped up and began moving even faster than me. When we reached the first floor, we glanced around to see if my mother was around and booked it across the front room. We skidded to a halt when we saw her coming down the stairs.

“Go, go, go, go, go,” I hissed, pushing Nathan back. When I saw Trish’s backside disappear into the kitchen, I grabbed Nathan’s hand and pulled him into the kitchen. I didn’t care if the cooks saw us; I just didn’t want my mother to see us and get the wrong idea.

Trish turned around when she heard us coming. “Adri—holy f—” I had to cover Trish’s mouth to conceal her surprised exclamation. I wasn’t sure if the exclamation came from seeing Nathan half-naked or from seeing Nathan and me half-naked together, but I didn’t really care. I had bigger problems than Trish’s train of thought.  

“Shh,” I whispered, quickly letting go of Nathan’s hand.

“Would you like to explain what’s going on?” Trish whispered when I removed my hand from her mouth. “Because, uh, HOLY SHIT.”  

“Shh!” I hissed, waving my arm at her. “I need you to go get us a change of clothes while we hide in the cupboard. My mom’s out there, so be careful and don’t let her see you.”

Trish nodded quickly, her eyes still wide. I would have a lot of explaining to do later.

After Trish left, I noticed everyone in the kitchen was staring at us with astonishment. I sighed and said, “He pulled me into the pool fully-clothed after jumping in fully-clothed himself, and now we have to change. That’s it. Get your minds out of the gutter.”

They seemed kind of content with that answer, but they were still staring at us like we were wild animals, and the staring didn’t cease until Nathan and I went into the cupboard. The cupboard was large enough to fit several people, and we had plenty of space between us even with all of the grocery items in there. After what felt like years, Trish came back with some clothes, and I shoved Nathan out so I could change.

When we’d both finished changing, we started to leave the kitchen, but my mother chose that exact moment to make her way towards the kitchen. The only reason we were even aware of this was because of Trish. She violently whispered, “Red alert! Red alert! Code red! This is a code red!”

Figuring my mother was coming in, I ran back into the cupboard with Nathan closely following me. “This is the most terrifying first day on the job I’ve ever had,” he whispered when we’d locked ourselves in.

“Imagine living with her for seventeen years,” I muttered back, listening to my mother speak through the door. She was looking for me. Uh-oh.

Trish gave some bullshit excuse as to why I was nowhere to be found, and I honestly could have sworn I’d heard my mother’s retreating footsteps. Nathan claimed to have heard them, too, although I should’ve known better than to go with Nathan’s input.

“Man, that was a close one,” Nathan said, shaking his head when we thought she was gone.

“Yeah, I know,” I said, twisting the doorknob and taking a step outside. “Oh, no.”

“What?” Nathan asked, following my line of sight. “Oh.”

“Adriana?” my mother exclaimed from the kitchen doorway, staring at Nathan and me in horror. Why had we chosen to hide in a cupboard? Why? “What in the world is going on here?”

Shit.