Alright, this is going to be a more serious chapter.

It is going to be about why I hate my gender (girls) in general and why I lean heavily to boys, in terms of what I want my gender to be and what I would prefer to date.

So

I hate girls.

I don't hate the fact that we have tits and vaginas.

I don't hate the fact we have periods or babies.

I hate the gender of female.

Why?

I have never had the best experiences with girls.

Most of my life, I have been a lonely child and I'm not afraid to admit that I had no friends.

I was happy without them.

I did have a best friend at four, but they abandoned me when we advanced a year in the school system.

That best friend with a girl.

Abandonment by a female.

That was the first strike, although minor giving the age we were.

When I was nine, I began to get consistently bullied by a female.

She would black mail me, insult me, spread rumours about me, isolate me from others and essentially made me the laughing stock of the class.

The majority of teachers I went to for help were females.

Actually, I never went to a male for help.

The fact that the female teachers never help left a bad taste in my mouth.

The girl who bullied me left a bad taste in my mouth.

The bullying continued through year 4, 5 and some of 6.

Another girl joined the school.

And she bullied me as well, overtaking the original bully in year six.

In year 7, everyone had ganged up on me.

It was mostly the girls.

The female teachers still failed to help me.

I had tried to take my life multiple times because of some girls.

When I talked to guys, they were nice to me.

They were encouraging to me.

The male teachers did help when I EVENTUALLY asked them.

The guys always had more fun and included me.

They never made fun of me.

I have good reason for hating my gender.

Don't get me wrong.

I can still make friends with people of my gender.

Keiko_x3

-smoking_roses-

Are actually great girls.

I'm pretty sure all the other people I'm following and talked to that are girls are great.

Except, on wattpad,

I socialised with these people before knowing their gender.

If I knew they were girls

In all honesty

I probably would never have talked to them

And I can't be blamed for that

I hate being associated with my gender as well

Being associated with my gender makes me associate with everything bad I think of my gender

I want to be a boy

I don't want to be trans because I'm a boy stuck in a girl's body

I want to be a boy because being a girl distresses me

No one has ever seen or known of my full extent of distress and hate for my gender

This has been the furthest I've ever explained it

And I don't care if people think I'm wrong for hating girls

I'm justified in doing so

And no one can change my mind about that

Cuts can be healed

But the scars stay forever

Sorry this was depressing af but I just wanted to record it somewhere