Eri

The logical part of my mind reminded me that even if I refused to get in the car now, I would eventually have to see them. I didn’t have a chance of avoiding them when we’d be living in the same house from now on. At the same time, despite it having been two years since seeing Hiroshi and… Kitaru, I would have rather have told Emi about the blood than have to see them. With all of this running through my mind I didn’t even bother to make an effort to seem fine this time around.

“I’ll be here,” Emi murmured as the car drove up our drive. “Don’t worry. I’ll be here with you.”

My eyes were stuck on the house as it came closer. Every inch that closed between us and the house felt like a blade being shoved further and further into my heart.

I can’t do this.

I could feel my heart begin to race as my mouth went dry.

I can’t see him.

“Calm down,” Emi demanded.

Not bothering to look at her, I tucked my head under my arms in an attempt to draw a breath, something that had suddenly become hard to do. Within seconds the lack of air was making my head spin. I couldn’t do this. It’d be better to die here than to have to go in there and face him. I couldn’t handle it, I just couldn’t.

“Eri.”

I was pulled towards her. I didn’t bother to stop it as Emi wrapped one arm around my back, her opposite hand stroking my hair. She began to whisper out gentle, soothing words that didn’t quite make sense to my panicked mind. At the same time I felt it suddenly become slightly easier to breathe, albeit just a little. The shaking didn’t stop, however, nor did the dizziness.

“I can’t,” I managed to tell her.

My eyes caught sight of her expression as it tensed. Emi’s eyes flickered out the window and I realized then that the car had come to a stop. The driver had already gotten out to open the door for us.

“I’m sorry,” she said finally. “I wish I could make it so you didn’t have to face them, but I can’t. You know how he and Hiroshi are. If you don’t face them now, they’ll make sure to find you just out of spite.”

I knew that. Did she think it was possible that I didn’t know that?

It didn’t mean I could make myself move from my position tucked against her. My head was laid on Emi’s chest, my body curled against her side. How could I ever leave the safety I felt here for the house that now seemed anything but?

“I’m sorry,” she repeated.

Then she drew away. Her hand stayed on my head, but her other, now free hand, grabbed my arm to make sure I followed her out. Reluctantly, I allowed her to pull me with her. As soon as my feet touched the ground I felt as if my knees were going to give out as hard as my body was shaking. The dizziness suddenly grew, my calmed breathing suddenly turning into panicked gasps.

Someone was opening the front door.

I couldn’t do this.

“Eri?”

She tugged me a few steps forward.

I couldn’t.

I couldn’t ever see him.

Him or Hiroshi.

“I c-can’t…” the words came out as nothing more than a soft, strangled whisper. I doubt even Emi could understand them.

“Eri? You’re pale, wha-”

Everything began to spin. In that moment I noted bitterly that it might have been the panic or the other thing. The thing I hadn’t told her about yet, the blood. All I knew was that I was suddenly falling. Surprisingly, I didn’t feel scared like I normally would. I could only feel relief as everything went black.

I wouldn’t have to face them.

__________________________________________

“Couldn’t you leave her alone for now?”

The first voice I heard after waiting up was Emi’s. I was slightly confused for a few moments, trying to recall why I was in my room. We were on our way home from school… to…

Shit.

“I’m sure she’ll want to see me when she wakes up,” a voice purred in response to Emi’s cutting words.

That voice… the arrogant tone was right, but the sound was slightly different. I couldn’t help it as my entire body tensed, my fists clenching. I didn’t dare open my eyes. The voice was too close, he could only have been a few feet away.

“She’d rather see road kill.”

“I’m family, I’m sure I get a higher opinion than road kill,” Hiroshi commented dryly.

“I doubt it,” Emi retorted. I could easily imagine the look on her face as she spoke- it was probably one that gave meaning to the line ‘if looks could kill’.

“Besides,” Hiroshi said, seeming to ignore Emi’s words. “It isn’t like she’s you, Mimi-kun-”

“What have I told you about calling me that?”

“-she actually has a few lady-like bones in her body.”

“One more word,” Emi hissed.

“What was that,” Hiroshi began. “Mi. Mi. Kun?”

“OUT OF THE ROOM. GET OUT BEFORE I KILL YOU!”

I flinched at the level of her voice. Unfortunately, Hiroshi must have been looking my way.

“No, sorry, I’m not leaving yet. See, my precious imouto is awake.”

Unable to keep from being noticed, now, I slowly opened my eyes. I could feel my breath catch in my throat as my eyes immediately locked on Hiroshi.

His black hair was cut in a perfectly kept style. I couldn’t have been longer than an inch or two, and had slightly longer bangs that stopped right above the level of his eyes. Hiroshi was currently dressed in casual wear made up of a green and brown sweater and jeans. His eyes were just as cold as the day he had left, the lifeless green studying me the same way that I was currently studying him. A moment later, though, the eyes shined with some hint of amusement.

“That doesn’t give you a reason to stay,” Emi hissed. She was sitting in a chair by the bed, her body tilted so that she was positioned between Hiroshi and I. “Get out.”

“I’ll only leave if Imouto tells me to,” Hiroshi replied. His gaze was locked with mine, challenging me.

The question in that look was obvious. Did I remember that promise?

I couldn’t help the shaking. My hands crept up to clamp over my face on their own. I couldn’t look at him.

“Eri?” Emi questioned in that annoyed voice of hers. “Come on, tell him to get out.”

“...”

My voice wouldn’t raise above a whisper.

“What was that?” Hiroshi asked. I could easily imagine a smirk on his face. “I didn’t hear.”

“...”

Hiroshi chuckled, and I peeked through my shaking hands to catch a glimpse of his expression. There was some sort of pleased look to him, or maybe it was smugness. Whatever it was, the look sent shivers down my spine.

“I guess she’s too overwhelmed to speak. After all, we all know how weak little Imouto is.”

I flinched and my hands clamped tighter over my face. I could feel tears welling in my eyes. Why did he have to come home? Why did he have to bring that person with him?

“Oh, and Imouto-chan,” Hiroshi said, his voice moving away but changing to a deceptively cheery tone. “Kitaru is simply dying to meet you. He can’t wait to catch up after all this time. Ever since I got called back home he’s been talking about you non-stop.”

He was mocking me.

I couldn’t breathe. I felt dizzy. Was this what it felt like when your nightmares came to life? It had to be. Perhaps I was still dreaming. It hadn’t even felt like this when I’d noticed the blood.

“Get out.”

Emi’s voice was colder than I’d heard for a long time. Hiroshi didn’t speak for a few moments, then I could hear a sigh come from him.

“I do hope, Mimi-chan, that you and Imouto show up for dinner. Kitaru is waiting.”

With that said he left.

I didn’t dare move. A second later I felt Emi’s arms wrapping around me as she slipped up onto the bed.

“Don’t worry,” she murmured. “I may not know what’s going on… but I won’t leave you with them. You’ve got me and I’ve got you. Nothing’s changed. We don’t have to go to dinner tonight. I’ll lock the door and we’ll head to school like normal. The house is big enough we should be able to avoid them for a short time, at least until they get used to our schedule.”

Unable to speak, I nodded into her hold. I could almost believe it from the tone of her voice. It almost felt like there was nothing to be afraid of. For a few moments, the shadows of the past lifted.

If only for a few.

________________________________

We managed to escape dinner at first. However, about fifteen minutes after the servants had requested that we go down to join them, someone knocked on my door.

“I thought I asked for you two to join us.”

Emi didn’t move from her position at the foot of my bed. She’d located a set of colored pencils I’d gotten for my birthday two years back and was currently sketching out a flower from one of my books onto a sheet of white paper.  Silence stretched out for a few moments as I pulled my knees to my chest. I watched her, seeing as if it wasn’t her I watched then it would be the door.

“Hello?”

He knocked once again.

“I’m coming in if you don’t say anything.”

“Stay the hell out,” Emi snipped without any change in her steely expression.

“You really should clean up your language… maybe I should ask Okaasan about getting you a tutor on how to be a lady,” he commented calmly. “To think that you’d degress this much in a few years.”

Emi didn’t reply. I simply tightened my hold on my knees and focused my attention on her. Hiroshi wasn’t really there.  A second later the sound of the door knob rattle echoed across the room.

“... the door is locked.”

Emi snorted, finally looking up from the sketch. The movement caused her hair to shift and I couldn’t see her face anymore.

“Wow, you’re brilliant. I can’t imagine why any school would expel you.”

That was blunt, even for Emi.

“That’s not true,” Hiroshi said calmly. “They didn’t expel me, they expelled Kit-kun.”

That feeling came back- the one where I couldn’t breathe. Some part of me took note of the fact Emi’s eyes had turned to me with Hiroshi’s words.

It came as a surprise that he was the one that had been expelled. As far as I knew he’d always played the perfect person. Otherwise his parents would have never agreed to let him continue his side jobs while attending school. Acting and modeling had just been a few of the things that I’d seen him participate in over the years.

Just the thought of him sent a shiver down my spine.

“How nice. How about you go back to that school, then? I’d much rather have a few countries between us.” Emi grumbled.

Hiroshi didn’t respond to her, instead saying something to someone on the other side of the door.

“Why’d you lock the door?” he questioned after a few minutes.

Why wouldn’t he just go away?

“I’ll give you one guess,” Emi retorted.

By this point she was sitting up and glaring at the door. Her flower sketch had been discarded to the side, a red colored pencil clutched between her fingers. It came as a surprise to me that the pencil hadn’t snapped yet.

He didn’t reply right away. Suspicion unfurled in my stomach as I thought of the possibilities of why. A second later I received the dreaded answer as the door swung open and Hiroshi triumphantly held up the key.

“I’d guess to avoid what I’d so politely requested of you. Now, before I have to drag you out,  why don’t you come along to dinner?”

My eyes shot to Emi, panic starting to overtake me. I couldn’t go down there and face him. I saw her expression falter, the slightest bit of hesitation showing, before she sealed it away and gave  Hiroshi a hard glare.

“Go screw yourself.”

He rose a brow, tucking the key into his pocket.

“I believe that’s the most vulgar thing I’ve heard out of you yet. Honestly, Mimi-chan, can’t you at least pretend to be a lady? Your actions reflect on our family name, you know,” he commented, a very cold expression showing in his amused eyes.

“Who honestly cares?” she asked, her face flushing red. “I’m not coming, you won’t drag me, and Eri just got over being sick so it’d be best for her to stay in here.”

Both of his brows raised this time, amusement clearly shining from his face.

“Really, now…”

Hiroshi started across the room the moment the words left his mouth. I couldn’t help my reaction as I instinctively pushed myself back against the head of my bed. His eyes were focused on Emi, but I noticed as Hiroshi’s lips twisted up slightly. Somehow he’d seen the reaction and even found it amusing.

Emi took opposite actions, jumping to her feet and giving him a defiant glare as she raised the colored pencil like a weapon. Hiroshi full out smirked at that, putting up his hands in a calming gesture.

“Aren’t I allowed to come near my Mimi-chan?”

She narrowed her eyes.

“Not after you threaten to drag us to dinner, and how many times do I have to tell you not to call me that?”

“Mimi-chan gives you the cuteness factor that you’re lacking,” he replied offhandedly. “And… do you really think I can’t drag you off if I please?”

His green orbs flickered to me as he peered over his shoulder, although I had no doubt he’d react if Emi made a move.

“As for you, Imouto, if you don’t want to come to dinner, I can always send Kit-kun up to accompany you while Mimi-chan eats with me.”

Fear flashed through me as I hurriedly pushed myself to the edge of the bed. Fighting through my panic, I managed to pull a mask over my emotions.

“That won’t be necessary,” I replied smoothly. “I’m well enough to eat dinner with Niisan and his guest.”

Emi glanced between Hiroshi and I, her eyes narrowed still. As if sensing her reluctance, Hiroshi  suddenly stepped forward and grabbed her. She was surprised enough by the movement that by the time she’d begun protesting, he’d already slung her over his broad shoulder.

“Very well, Imouto,” Hiroshi said to me, ignoring the sudden rush of words that came flowing out of Emi’s mouth. “Mimi-chan and I will follow you don’t. It’s been long enough that I would hate to accidentally get lost in my own house.”

I simply swallowed and gave him a swift nod. My face was carefully composed, my slightly trembling hands clasped together in front of me to conceal them from his sight. I would have to get a hold of myself. There was no escape from this, I decided, and the easiest way to face it would be to take a chance like this. Right now I wouldn’t be alone with either of them, but if I didn’t follow his offer then I would be.

It was the easier of the two evils, even if my entire body wanted to seize up just at the thought of entering the dining room. Luck  was the only thing that kept me from panicking to the point of fainting again.

“PUT ME THE HELL DOWN!” Emi shouted as we rounded the turn that would place us at the dining hall.

“I will soon enough,” Hiroshi answered calmly. “If you insist on acting like an uncouth child, then I’ll treat you like one. Children get carried.”

“Damn you,” she cursed. I could hear the sound of her hitting her fists against him sounding behind my back. Surprisingly, the sounds of his footsteps never faltered the entire time and it’s not like Emi is a weak person. It seemed that one thing had changed since we’d last seen him. Hiroshi’s bulkier form must have consisted mostly of muscle.

When we stopped in front of the dining hall door, I could feel Hiroshi’s eyes on my back. I couldn’t hesitate, that would mean showing him just how frightened I was to even touch the doorknob while knowing what laid on the other side.

Kitaru.

Taking a deep breath, I watched, feeling almost detached as my hand slowly turned the knob.

“You’ve arrived,” a smooth, charming voice said as we entered the room. “I could hear the yelling from in here, was something wrong?”

My eyes locked on him. I’m sure that in that split second my mask disappeared, because it was all that I could do to keep from turning back and running from the room.

Kitaru’s shaggy brown hair had grown out from the last time I’d seen him and also had blonde highlights. It now ended about mid neck, adding a wild look to him. His sparkling blue eyes were meeting mine, his skin colored a much deeper tan than it used to be. He was even dressed different- where he had once worn formal clothing he now had a casual, band tee-shirt, jeans, and tennis shoes.

If I hadn’t known ahead of time he was here, I might not have recognized him at all.

“Mimi-chan was being childish,” Hiroshi answered cheerfully as he entered the room behind me.

Kitaru chuckled, shoving his hands into his pockets as he studied the two of them. Emi was struggling over his shoulder, but it had a bit less fight in it than when he had first picked her up. Hiroshi… he really wasn’t as weak as he’d once been.

“Didn’t she hate being called that, Hiroshi?” Kitaru asked.

I hadn’t been able to bring myself to move from my few steps inside the room. At that moment my feelings spun out of control.

He seemed so normal.

He didn’t seem like the bastard in my memories.

That didn’t matter, though. No matter how different he seemed right now, I wouldn’t trust it. I wanted out of there as bad as I wanted him to simply disappear.

“I still do,” Emi snapped.

Hiroshi unceremoniously dropped her to the ground at that moment. Stepping away from her, he wiped his hands on his sweater as if to show that he would have preferred not to touch her. As she shot him a glare and scrambled to her feet, Hiroshi simply gave her a smug smile.

“Now, now, I just want to be as close as we were when we were children,” he purred. “So what’s so wrong with calling you Mimi-chan, hm?”

“It’s demeaning!”

I’d been so focused on them at that moment that I barely noticed when Kitaru took a few steps in my direction. Stiffening, I snapped my attention to him as my hands clenched at my sides.

“Eri…” he said, offering me what should have been a heart-stopping smile which simply sent chills down my spine. “Shall we sit down?”

Kitaru gestured back at the table.

“They’re as childish as ever, and I’m rather hungry.”

I swallowed, my eyes shooting to Emi who was currently spewing something about how Hiroshi had better just keep his hands off of her and address her as Emi-san. I wasn’t going to get any help from her right now.

What happened to being here to protect me? I wondered.

“Yes,” I mumbled, carefully pulling that mask back into face as I looked back to him. A fake smile was carefully sat on my lips, my trembling fingers once again clasped together in front of me. “Lets, otherwise the food will just get cold.”

He offered me that smile once again as he nodded, stepping back towards the table and pulling out a chair.

“For you?” he offered.

My heart wrenched in my chest. Surely he didn’t have plans on of sitting next to me.

I’d never be able to last the entire meal if he did that.

Pushing my feelings into a corner of my mind, I fought off my better thoughts and took the seat. My suspicions proved true as he pulled out the chair to my left and sat down as well.

“How have you been?”

Please, please, I begged silently in my mind. Just don’t talk to me.

“Well…”

“I hear you still have delicate health,” Kitaru commented. “And that you go to school despite that.”

I gritted my teeth, the familiar annoyance beginning to grow in my mind. More than enough people had tried to convince me to get a private tutor instead of attending school. What good would that special treatment get me?

“I do, my health won’t keep me from attending my classes. After all, until my doctor declares otherwise, I’m perfectly fine in the matter that concerns everyone.”

He cocked his head slightly, the shaggy hair falling away from his face. My heart wrenched once again as I fought the part of my mind that suddenly commented on him being even cuter than he was in my memories.

“I guess that’s true and you’ve always been the perfect student,” he replied.

I gave a tense nod, staring at my hands. Emi and Hiroshi choose that moment to finally take their seats as the servants came in to serve the food. A tense feeling spread over the room- a feeling I had a good idea that I could contribute to Emi. Hiroshi, after a few minutes, began easily chatting with Kitaru, who offered simple smiles and comments every now and then. Their conversation circled around the university they’d be attending while here and what classes they’d signed up for.

I was almost surprised that Hiroshi allowed Emi and I to stay silent. Maybe he’d had enough of her mouth.

Once dinner had finished, however, I could feel his eyes settle on me. When I looked up at him he had a thoughtful look on his face, his eyes void of any emotion as usual. Sometimes I wondered if all the expressions that crossed his face were calculated and part of an act. It would make sense.

“Imouto, could I ask a favor of you,” he spoke up finally.

I froze. Emi shot him a glare as she began to open her mouth.

“Just her, Mimi-chan. If you have to butt in I’ll make sure to spread word around Ouran of what your favorite nickname is.”

Emi’s mouth shut quickly, her eyes shooting daggers.

“...what is it?” I managed to ask in a seemingly calm voice.

“Could you take Kit-kun around town sometime?” he purred. “I don’t really have the time to join in on the tour myself.  I'm sure things have changed since we lived here before,  I wouldn’t want him getting lost and you know how directionally challenged he is.”

I couldn’t speak.

That…

How could he even suggest…

I stared at Hiroshi, begging him to take back the offer. He simply smirked, settling his chin on the surface he made with his hands, his elbows braced against the table.

“... I…”

“Great,” he chirped. “Thanks for that.”

My eyes widened even further if possible. I hadn’t agreed to anything!

“Wait a minute!” Emi sputtered. “She didn’t-”

“Come on, Kit-kun,” Hiroshi said cheerily as he stood. “We should rest so that we’re all ready for classes tomorrow.”

Kitaru’s eyes flickered to me for a moment, meeting my panicked look with his apologetic one.

“That would be a good idea,” he replied, standing as well.

“Niisan, I… I…”

“You what?” Hiroshi asked, crossing the room to the exit. “You know, I would think that you would want to show him around. Weren’t you too so close before we left for school?”

At the door Hiroshi turned to give me a knowing smirk.

I couldn’t breathe.

I…

No.

I wasn’t going to think about that.

I wouldn’t. Those memories were locked away. They wouldn’t get out this time.

“So you have no problem with showing him around,” Hiroshi continued. “Right?”

“Hiroshi, perhaps it’s best…” Kitaru began.

“Nonsense, she’s the best choice,” Hiroshi cut in.

I couldn’t get my voice to work.

“I’ll tell you when the best time for the tour is,” Hiroshi announced as he opened the door. “Look forward to it, Imouto.”

When the door swung shut behind them I finally allowed the mask to fall. My entire body began to tremble, tears welling my eyes.

How had that happened?

Everything had been going alright. How had it ended up like this?

Why did I have to react like this to even the idea of being alone in public with him?

“Eri…” Emi began, rising from her seat.

“I’m tired,” I interrupted, coming to my feet as well. “I’m sorry, I think I’m going to retire for the evening.”

Emi’s eyes met mine, causing me to drop my gaze to the table. She was silent for a moment before sighing.

“I understand, go rest. We wouldn’t want you to get sick again.”

Without saying anything else, I nodded and left the room. When I’d finally reached mine, I locked the door behind me and collapsed into my bed. The tears were streaming down my cheeks before I’d even taken a breath.

A/N: Tada~ I had requests for a new chapter and here it is! I hope you enjoy! I love comments, so please tell me what you think!