Seth pov

I'm so stupid! I'm so stupid! I think like a bull! I see red and I just charge! Why didn't I think? Not only about how much this would hurt Nicole but me proposing to Carmella just hurt Nicole. I mean Carmella wasn't even the one I was doing this for! She doesn't deserve to be treated like this. Gosh I'm a scumbag! I literally hate myself right now! I'm dumb! Dumb! Dumb! Ambrose's freaking punch messed up my jaw and I'm sure I have a bruise. Back then I was piss at him now I'm happy. I'm happy because I deserve it.

Nicole FRICKING hates me! She hates me! And all I feel for her is love. I made the woman I'm truly in love with hate me. Why? All because she kissed Dean a few times to help him out from Renee. When she first did it it wasn't meant to hurt me...... Even though it did. Then the second time when it happened, I deserved it because I called her a starving idiot. The only idiot here is me! A heartless, stupid one at that. I'm sure Dean, my best bud -or was, I don't even know where we stand right now- isn't even speaking to me.

I wish I could rewind time and not go out with Carmella. I like Carmella and all but she isn't for me. She deserves better than me. She deserves someone who loves her. She deserves to be the queen and princess in someone's eyes. And she isn't in mine, Nicole is. I never thought I'd see the day where Nikki cries. Sure I saw her tear stained face when I went to visit her at home that day but she wasn't crying like that. To make matters worse, she was crying at work! And somewhere where many people can see her if they pass by. Did I wreck the queen of ice? She sure did wreck me.

"Seth, Carmella is looking for you." Roman told me as he opened up the unlocked stall to the toilet where am sat on the closed lid. At least I still have him right? "Oh okay, I'm coming." I got off from the lid and walked to the mirror seeing how my face is stained with tears, yes, I was crying. Roman looked at me and you can tell he doesn't feel the slightest bit sorry for me. "You messed up. You need to get your shit in order. Because you are hurting and lying to the people who care the most about you! If you want help on how to do that, I'll help you. If not, don't speak to me unless you get your shit in order." He gave me one last glance before walking off. I guess I didn't have him. I don't have anyone, really. Don't I? Well I need Carmella more than ever now. I washed my face and dried it with paper towels as I practiced my fake smile in the mirror. "Shit!" I just now realize I'll have to explain the bruise on my face. Well I'll think of something.

"Hey babe." I kissed Carmella's cheeks as she turned to me with a huge smile.

"Where did you disappear to?" She knitted her brows at me.

"Just to my locker room. You needed to have your time with your girls. Didn't want to hear squealing women." I lied but she seemed to bought it pretty well.

"Oh baby we won't squealing." She said as I raised my brows at her. "It is tradition." She then confessed as I chuckled a bit. Wrapping my arms around her waist.

"You like it?" I referred to the ring I got her.

"Love it." She kissed me.

"Only the best for my baby." I kissed her again.

"Stop. You are making me blush." She told as I laughed. She is truly amazing just not my lover but I can try to make her be right? Right.

"Hey where is Dean, Roman, Randy and the rest?" Oh no. Why did she had to ask that.

"They are busy." Was the only thing I could think of saying.

"Too busy to even congratulate you?" She sounded unimpressed. If she only knew. "Maybe they aren't your real friends." She said to me. She has a point.

"Guess they weren't." I replied because it killed me.

"Don't worry you got me." Yeah I do but I want Nicole.

"And you are all that I need." I lied as we kissed again.

"Huh! How did you get that bruise!!" She rubbed her hands on it after finish kissing.

"You now noticed." I laughed that she only now notice it.

"Yeah well I was too caught up. But how?" She keep touching it.

"On my way back to you I tried to...um.... I tried to help one of the production guys practice wrestling and was teaching him how to throw a punch but he really hit me, by accident of course." Can I just say I'm a great liar.

"You are an idiot. They are professionals for that." She bought it and argued with me.

"So you don't think I'm a professional enough to train someone." I teased.

"The bruise is doing all the speaking." She smiled and I laughed as we shared a kiss. I wish it was Nicole I was kissing though.

"Oh hey Nikki. I didn't see you after the engagement." Oh no. "I didn't see any of you for the matter." Carmella added with knitted brows as she looked at Nikki, Brie, Randy and Dean. "Uh yeah. We had something to take care of." Nikki replied with a small smile. Brianna glared at me making me look down. "Did you see my ring?" She placed her hands out in front of Nicole showing her the massive ring I got her. I could tell Nikki is trying to keep her composure. "It's beautiful Carmella. You deserve the best." She glared up at me. "Only the best." She finished with a smile. I knew what she was hinting but Carmella took it as a compliment, not knowing shit what is really going on. "Thank you." Carmella swooned. "Yeah it is beautiful. He probably picked it out with only you in mind. Knowing how much you will love it." Brie got no chill. Her comment knocked the air out of my lungs. "I bet he did." Carmella once more blind to the situation smiled and kissed me as Nicole looked down. Doesn't she know if I had my way it would be her I'd be kissing right now? "Yeah, let's go." Dean told not even trying to make it seem like we are on good terms. The twins and Randy nodded as they left. I want to be with them. I want to be engaged to Nikki but I messed up.

I'm sorry.

(A/n: oh seth smh. Anyways small chapter hope you like it. 🐾💕🐾❤️🐾🐾🐾)