Note: Same as the past chapter, though not triggering I don't think? Just pretty  heavy. Like I said last chapter, these two mean a lot to me. Again, please take care of yourself, I love you, and my pms are always open to anyone who needs a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen or a hand to cling onto. <3333

"Sophie?"

She dropped the skates and jumped what felt like ten feet in the air, before slowly turning around to face her cousin. Dex was eyeing her suspiciously.

"What are you doing here?" She blurted, pushing the skates further into a corner behind the closet with her foot and hoping he was distracted enough not to notice. His gaze softened and his eyes dropped to the floor.

"Grady told me about what a... hard time you're having, and Edaline said I was welcome her any time." He shrugged. "There was light coming from the crack at the bottom of the door, so I wondered if you were in here. I guess I was right."

"You didn't have to come so early." Sophie said nervously, and he looked back up, smiling sadly.

"Yes," he whispered, staring at the dark circles under her eyes. "I did."

This time it was Sophie's turn to look away. "I'm fine."

"No, you're not." Dex's voice was firm, allowing no room for lies or half-truths. Sophie kept her gaze down, and his voice softened. "How are you, Sophie?"

Sophie considered lying, but something about the earnest look in his eyes and the desperate tone of his voice made it impossible for her to tell him anything but the truth.

"I just..." she hated the tremble in her voice as she tried to push the words out. "I was doing so well, Dex. Better than Grady, even. After the funeral, I locked the feelings away; the tears, the sobs, the screams; I was fine."

Sophie swallowed hard, remembering Brant shivering on the ice. "But then... I don't know, it's like something in me broke." She shot him a terrified glance, and he flinched at the unbridled fear in her eyes. "I'm scared I'll never be able to sleep again. I'm off the deep end. I'm worse than Brant."

It seemed that once Sophie started, the words spilled out, unfiltered and without her consent. Dex looked like he wanted to throw his arms around her and try his best to hold her pieces together, but Sophie knew there was no fixing her.

"Sophie," Dex started, voice hardened with resolve. "You're not crazy. You're just grieving."

"I already grieved. I went through that pain at the funeral. I'm done grieving."

"Grieving is a process." Dex tilted his head. "You can't speed it up or force it to stop. And locking it away isn't healthy! It'll just make everything a thousand times worse when the feelings do spill over, and I'm guessing this is your breaking point. You can only block out your feelings for so long."

"So, what?" Sophie said desperately. "I just have to live through this... through this ache until it decides to go away? Until it decides to leave me alone?"

"That grief is a part of you, Sophie. You loved her. Losing her is going to be painful, but that's what comes with loving someone."

"I never want to love again." Sophie muttered, the pressure in her chest tightening.

Dex chuckled, but the sound was sad. "You're too Sophie to never love. Love is what makes you, you. And how else would you get through this, but with the help of the people you love?"

"I guess..." The pressure made it hard for Sophie to think about much else, and certainly not love.

"Remember how your mom and dad used to throw the best parties ever?" Dex's eyes were far away, remembering suddenly. "They were legendary. More known than the Vackers' parties."

"Yeah. Jolie always managed to get excited about them, no matter how many times they threw them." Sophie smiled softly. "And I would always hide up in my room. Sophie the hermit."

Dex grinned, tilting his head to study her again. "See? It's not all pain. You'll always have the good memories, no matter what. She'll always be in you heart."

"Yeah..." And then Sophie strode across the room, throwing her arms around her best friend. He squeezed her tightly.

"You'll be okay, Sophie."

"Thank you, Dex." She whispered into his shoulder. "Thank you so much." Sophie wanted to hide from the grief and the pain and the loss in his arms forever, but eventually she pulled away.

"You'd better get back before Juline wakes up." She said, working to keep her voice steady. It sounded normal, mostly. He shrugged.

"Nah, I'm working at Slurps and Burps with Dad today. She won't even notice I left." He grinned, and Sophie could see all his plans for crazy concoctions at his dad's pharmacy in his evil smile.

"Okay, be safe and explode something for me."

"Of course." He reached down and squeezed her hand once more, before smiling and leaving Sophie alone in her Jolie's room.

She spun around, taking everything in one more time. As she looked at all the objects that had sparked tears before, Dex's words echoed in her head. She felt happy now, remembering dancing in front of Vertina and listening to her sister giggle about Brant like a little girl.

You'll always have the good memories.

Sophie closed her eyes, feeling every ounce of happiness and every drop of grief. It overwhelmed her, but she continued to feel. The hole was still in her heart, but she was willing to embrace it this time, to hold it close to remind her.

She grabbed the skates, leaving the room. For now, she would hold onto the skates. Perhaps they would remind her to keep feeling.

Maybe she wasn't fixed, but for once, she was focusing on the salvaged pieces, not the broken parts.

A/N: Double update!!

I've said this once, and I'll say it again:

Loss hurts.