I love you more than the world can contain in its lonely and ramshackle head. There's only a shadow of me in a matter of speaking I'm dead.

— John My Beloved, Sufjan Stevens

━━━━━━ October 7, 2149

THE ARK HAD DONE as promised. They sent a group of the Guard down to Earth to protect the children from an oncoming war they couldn't win. Casey and Octavia had just settled down to eat dinner when the Exodus ship crashed and landed in the mountains, a mushroom cloud marking its landing. Clarke and Bellamy went with a team to check the area for survivors.

⠀⠀⠀That had been several hours ago, and they hadn't come back.

⠀⠀⠀There wasn't much else either of the girls could do at the moment. They had to trust their people would return, and in the meantime, they ate their dinner and talked about life on the Ark. Octavia didn't like talking about the Ark much, having been stuck in a box her entire life, but she had a childlike wonder about what it was like to be free to live on it.

⠀⠀⠀"No one understands having a sibling," Octavia sighed, pressing her hand against her jaw. She glanced up at Casey, both a little wary and teasing, as she said, "Except you."

⠀⠀⠀Casey laughed, digging her heel into the dirt and drawing jagged lines. "A little differently, I'd say. I didn't know him my whole life."

⠀⠀⠀"True, but... what was it like? On the Ark, having Murphy as your brother?" Octavia asked, her eyes wide and curious. She looked much softer and more like the seventeen-year-old girl she was than she had in a long time.

⠀⠀⠀"I've known Murphy since he stole my seat in second grade, and we gave each other black eyes over who got to sit there," Casey said with a smile.

⠀⠀⠀Octavia laughed out loud and said, "I know you're a badass, but I've never seen you in a physical fight."

⠀⠀⠀"I was all fire before I was arrested, then the idea of dying set in, and I kind of lost all that," Casey sighed. Her mind recalled her time on the ground and glanced at Octavia. "Well, except for when Bellamy and I beat the shit out of each other."

⠀⠀⠀Octavia looked stunned, raising a brow, "When was that?"

⠀⠀⠀"The river," Casey explained. She sighed, not wanting to dwell on that, and said, "Murphy and I have been friends for a long time. His dad was the nicest man I'd ever met, and his mom... was the complete opposite. After his dad died, my mom had him come over whenever he could get away from his deadbeat mom. Then, when she died, we took him in."

⠀⠀⠀"I had no idea," Octavia said.

⠀⠀⠀"We all have our baggage," Casey muttered, waving her hand at Octavia. "Murphy was always in trouble, always getting into fights. At the time, I probably encouraged it, too." She chuckled, looking down at her hands as she fiddled with her fingers, "I remember one time we'd gotten into it with some kids for some reason I can't even think of now. But, when we were escorted home, my mom was furious. I get why now. If it had been worse than some kids picking on each other, we might've been floated. But she had work that night and locked us in the room together to 'think about what he had done,' restricting our access to the TV.

⠀⠀⠀"So, we sat in the room and threw pillows at each other until we were too tired to still be so angry. By the time she came back, we were playing around without a care in the world. Murphy had always been like that, acting like the world was out to get him. But when it was just the two of us, he'd let his guard down."

⠀⠀⠀Octavia was silent momentarily, taking in her story before she finally spoke. "You really care about him, don't you?"

⠀⠀⠀Casey nodded. "Yeah. I guess he was the first person I chose to care about. Like, you love your mom but it's been an always thing. I love Murphy because he stuck around when no one else did. No matter how much he screws up... he's still my brother."

⠀⠀⠀"I guess it's the same for Bellamy..." Octavia sighed, glancing at the trees. "I don't know, it's like... ever since we came to the ground, he's a different person. He used to be so kind and caring, and now—"

⠀⠀⠀"I understand," Casey whispered, holding her hand out to Octavia, red with Atom's blood. "The ground is making monsters of us all."

⠀⠀⠀They were silent for some time. The fire beside them warmed Casey's skin despite the cool breeze. She listened to the other delinquents walk around them, sharing lighthearted stories with their friends. It was like the Exodus ship hadn't even crashed. No one wanted to consider the change they would face once actual adults came into play.

⠀⠀⠀After being free to make her own choices while on the ground, the thought of the guards coming to their camp and making decisions didn't sit right with her. Honestly and selfishly, she had only considered her mom coming down to Earth—though she hadn't joined them on the Exodus ship—and just wanted her family to be put back together. Now, Jaha would press all of them back under his thumb despite the fact they had fought and died for their lives on Earth. They deserved to have more say in what happened with their futures than what their elders decided.

⠀⠀⠀Suddenly, Octavia perked up as she glanced at Casey. "I'm going to the gates."

⠀⠀⠀"Why?" Casey asked, raising a brow.

⠀⠀⠀Octavia jumped to her feet and smiled down at Casey as she giddily said, "I'm going to check on something..."

⠀⠀⠀"He leave you something?" Casey asked, following Octavia. Although most of the camp knew of Octavia's Grounder boyfriend, Casey was unwilling to say his name out loud.

⠀⠀⠀"You noticed?" Octavia asked cautiously.

⠀⠀⠀"Well, yeah, I watched you leave camp to meet with him. And every time you picked up those flowers," Casey explained, rolling her eyes.

⠀⠀⠀"I just need to know if he's okay," Octavia admitted. They hadn't heard anything from Anya, Lincoln, or any other Grounder after the bridge.

⠀⠀⠀At the gates, Monty stood on patrol. They joined him to seem a little less suspicious as the pair looked for the flower in the trees.

⠀⠀⠀"Hey, no sign of your brother or the others yet," Monty said.

⠀⠀⠀"Hey, I don't care," Octavia responded sharply.

⠀⠀⠀A large-petaled white flower rested in the bark of a tree as it waited for Octavia's notice. Octavia smiled, looking back at Casey to see if she had noticed. Casey rested her hand on Octavia's shoulder and squeezed it lightly.

⠀⠀⠀"Jasper, tell us again," Harper's voice drifted from behind them, gaining their attention. "How'd you stay so calm? I would've been terrified."

⠀⠀⠀"Fear is only a problem if you let it stop you, right?" Jasper asked with a smug smile, basking in the glory of Harper and everyone else standing around him.

⠀⠀⠀"That's not even his line. Finn said that," Octavia told Monty, visibly frustrated as she crossed her arms. She pinned her glare on Jasper, and if he had been looking, he'd likely melt into anxiety.

⠀⠀⠀"I saw the Grounders in the trees. It was like nothing I ever felt. You know, pure animal instinct took over. One pull of the trigger, two Grounders dead," Jasper continued, his hands flinging all over the place as he retold his story, eyes gleaming in the firelight.

⠀⠀⠀"Pure animal instinct?" Octavia scoffed. "More like pure pant's wetting panic."

⠀⠀⠀"The fact that he went out guns-a-blazing shows just how ignorant he is," Casey claimed, crossing her arms. She and Octavia looked nearly identical in stance and expression. "They did the exact same thing as us. If he had kept his gun down, we wouldn't be wondering if we'd live past tomorrow."

⠀⠀⠀"You don't really know what you're made of until a moment like that, you know? When it's kill or be killed, and there's just nothing between you and the tip of the spear," Jasper dramatically retold.

⠀⠀⠀"Okay, this has to stop," Octavia sneered.

⠀⠀⠀She and Casey were about to confront Jasper's fake heroics when Monty stepped in their way. "Come on. Let us have this!"

⠀⠀⠀"Us?" Octavia asked, raising a brow.

⠀⠀⠀"Look at him. The boy is a folk hero. They even gave us a bigger tent," Monty said with a toothy grin.

⠀⠀⠀Casey surrendered, wincing as if it pained her, and she said, "Only for you, Monty. If his head gets too big, you always have a tent to sleep in."

⠀⠀⠀"Thanks, Casey," Monty smiled, though it was thin and doubtful.

⠀⠀⠀A shuffle in the woods caught their attention. They turned back, fear striking a cord up Casey's spine. She didn't think Lincoln was untrained in making his presence vanish if he was there, but she still worried about it.

⠀⠀⠀"Somebody hit the tripwire!" Connor shouted to the others on watch.

⠀⠀⠀"Which wire?" Ethan called back.

⠀⠀⠀"Was it a Grounder?" Dane added.

⠀⠀⠀"I don't see anything."

⠀⠀⠀"Are you sure it was the tripwire?"

⠀⠀⠀"I got nothing. Connor?"

⠀⠀⠀"Nothing."

⠀⠀⠀"Something moved."

⠀⠀⠀"There, there, there!"

⠀⠀⠀BANG, BANG, BANG, THUD!

⠀⠀⠀"Think I got him."

⠀⠀⠀"Let's go."

⠀⠀⠀"Lincoln," Octavia whispered fretfully. She sprinted out of the gates to try to beat the patrol to him.

⠀⠀⠀Casey stayed behind with Monty. Her fingers ran into fours along her arm as she worried for Lincoln and Octavia. She forced herself to stay behind, knowing that if both of them went out and no one was found in the tripwires, more suspicion would rain down on them, and Casey didn't want—

⠀⠀⠀"CASEY! GET OUT HERE!"

⠀⠀⠀Casey glanced at Monty, who frowned and shrugged in response. Shakily, she walked through the gates and past the patrol that parted for her. On the ground ahead of Octavia was a beaten and bloody body, their hands held out in defense. His eyes caught hers, and she would recognize those piercing blue eyes anywhere. She walked forward, her hands held out in front of her so that he knew she was unarmed. Slowly, she knelt down and smiled.

⠀⠀⠀"Hi, John," she greeted quietly. Her head hammered with relief and worry. Her brain told her to tap in fours, count every step she walked and every second that passed, walk through the woods, and check behind every tree to see if anyone else had been hurt like Murphy. She wanted to, but where would that leave him. Alone, with people who wanted him dead? No. So, she took a deep breath, clenched her teeth before she could break, and asked, "Are you okay?"

⠀⠀⠀Murphy frowned, tears running down his face as the corners of his mouth twitched into a faint but familiar smile. Without warning, he had pulled her into a tight hug, crying into her shoulder. The last time they'd seen one another, it was exactly like this.

⠀⠀⠀After a few minutes of the siblings hugging and the patrol team waiting for something to happen, Octavia rested her hand on Casey's shoulder. She whispered, "We should get him inside."

⠀⠀⠀Casey nodded and stood, pulling Murphy up beside her. She wrapped his arm around her shoulder. The patrol moved into defense, and Casey glared at them, "If anyone tries anything, I will kill you."

⠀⠀⠀There was a moment of hesitation, but enough people had heard about her killing Atom or beating up Bellamy over the radio... They likely didn't want to take the risk.

⠀⠀⠀Casey smiled mockingly at them and helped Murphy inside the camp. As they approached the dropship—a place with four walls, a roof, and one entrance—Casey felt a tingle against her neck. She snapped her neck to see Connor following her at a steady pace.

⠀⠀⠀"Do you need something?" Casey asked at the door, raising an eyebrow.

⠀⠀⠀Connor laughed. "You're not going in there alone."

⠀⠀⠀"You're not coming in."

⠀⠀⠀"Like hell we aren't!"

⠀⠀⠀Casey pressed her hand on Connor's chest and shoved him back two steps. She smiled smugly as he glared at her.

⠀⠀⠀"How about you stay outside, and I'll stay in?" she said. At least she was willing to compromise, right?

⠀⠀⠀"Like I said," Connor said, puffing out his chest as he closed the distance between them. "You're not going in alone."

⠀⠀⠀"Alright," Casey shrugged, belligerent. "You come in and watch him. Hold your guns to his face. It doesn't matter. He gets the advantage. What happens then?"

⠀⠀⠀Connor glared at her. "Bellamy wouldn't want us to leave him alone."

⠀⠀⠀"He won't be alone. And if John decides that I'm better off dead, then it's my own damn fault. But you tried to kill him. I'd rather be locked in here with a Grounder than with you."

⠀⠀⠀"Fine," Connor huffed, tired of the arguing. "But we'll be right outside."

⠀⠀⠀"My heroes," Casey mocked, rolling her eyes.

⠀⠀⠀Casey turned Murphy steadily into the dropship and rested him on the floor. She knelt beside him as the tarps rustled with someone's entrance. Irritated, she looked back to snap at Connor again, but it was only Octavia who sent her a soft wave.

⠀⠀⠀"How can I help?" Octavia asked.

⠀⠀⠀"Can you get me a bowl of water and a cloth?" she asked.

⠀⠀⠀Octavia nodded and left to get the supplies she needed. Murphy hadn't spoken since Casey found him. She barely recognized him even sitting inside, where the light was a little harsher. His hair was matted, and he looked skinnier than he'd ever been. A lump of guilt formed in Casey's stomach. Her mind roiled with thoughts telling her that this was her fault. Her finger began to tap against Murphy's hand that held her.

⠀⠀⠀A bowl of water and a clean cloth sat beside her. Casey looked up at Octavia and smiled.

⠀⠀⠀"Thank you, O. I really appreciate it," Casey said as she dipped the cloth into the water and wrung it out.

⠀⠀⠀Octavia watched Murphy warily. "You helped me, I'll help you," she said, cementing what she needed to do into words.

⠀⠀⠀"You can go to sleep. It's been a long couple of days," Casey assured her. She started to wipe some of the blood from Murphy's hands and then glanced at Octavia. She seemed reluctant to leave her alone. "I can handle the idiots outside, and I can definitely handle Murphy. He's harmless."

⠀⠀⠀Octavia raised a knowing brow.

⠀⠀⠀"To me," Casey concluded.

⠀⠀⠀"Alright," Octavia sighed. She turned to Murphy, pointed at him, and said, "You try anything, you're dead."

⠀⠀⠀"Yeah, yeah," Murphy mumbled under his breath. His head rolled lazily to the side.

⠀⠀⠀With Octavia gone, it was just Casey and Murphy inside the dropship. The only sounds surrounding them were the soft murmur of the kids outside the tarp and the water falling back into the bowl. She rubbed the cloth along his arms, removing the dirt and blood and grime that had clung to his skin.

⠀⠀⠀"Hey, tell me if I'm doing it," Casey whispered to him. When they were children and got into scraps with other kids, Casey would tend to Murphy's wounds. For whatever reason, she would find herself a mile away, running the cloth over his skin until it was red and raw. Just like she had done to Lincoln.

⠀⠀⠀"I-I always do," he reassured her, his voice quiet and shaky. He leaned his head back against the cool metal, tired but relaxed in this somewhat safe environment. "I've missed you."

⠀⠀⠀Casey looked up at him, pausing. She considered what she should say, seeing as Murphy had left under the worst circumstances possible. She frowned, looking back at his arms.

⠀⠀⠀"I've missed you, too. Although, I probably shouldn't," she muttered, working her lip between her teeth. She glanced back at him and said, "You tried to kill a little girl."

⠀⠀⠀"I know," he whispered. "I'm sorry."

⠀⠀⠀"Tell that to her."

⠀⠀⠀"You heard her," Murphy said, his voice firmer than it had been. "She would've killed you, too. Just like Wells."

⠀⠀⠀Casey shut her eyes, taking in a deep breath. The words were so familiar. She thought back to the day trip she had gone on with Bellamy and Clarke. The rations expired, and she'd gotten stupid high and hallucinated him berating her with those exact words. But this Murphy was real and cared for her. She had to remember that.

⠀⠀⠀"Everything alright?" Murphy asked after a minute.

⠀⠀⠀Casey released the breath stuck in her lungs and opened her eyes. "Fine."

⠀⠀⠀"So, what have you been up to?" he asked, avoiding whatever hell he had been through. He obviously didn't want to talk about it yet and instead had their conversation divert to something a little lighter.

⠀⠀⠀"You know," Casey shrugged, moving onto his other arm. "Made a new friend. She fell from the Ark in order to see if we were alive after all the wristbands short-circuited."

⠀⠀⠀"Fell from the Ark?" Murphy asked, raising a brow.

⠀⠀⠀"In a small pod, just her. Her name's Raven, she's about our age, dating Finn," she said. "She's also, like, some kind of prodigy. She was able to get us in contact with the Ark. I was able to talk to Mom a little."

⠀⠀⠀"How's she?" Murphy asked, bowing his head slightly in guilt.

⠀⠀⠀"I don't really know," Casey huffed, annoyed at the fact their reunion was cut short for Bellamy. "Some guy on the Ark was trying to kill Bellamy by using Dax, so I went out to protect him, as she asked."

⠀⠀⠀"You? Protect Bellamy?" Murphy scoffed, trying to contain his laughter, but it seemed to spill out.

⠀⠀⠀Casey sent him a sharp look. "It went... fine. I mean, he's alive."

⠀⠀⠀"So, you protected him?" Murphy asked, raising a brow.

⠀⠀⠀"No, not really. Our rations were rank, and we all got high."

⠀⠀⠀Murphy barked out a laugh. Casey would be annoyed if he wasn't so beaten and bruised, but she was just happy to see him lighten up.

⠀⠀⠀"And we talked to a Grounder leader, Anya, to try to make peace, but Jasper decided to shoot at them instead," Casey said bitterly.

⠀⠀⠀At the mention of Grounders, Murphy tensed significantly. Every muscle in his body coiled as he stared at Casey like she had spoken the words of the Devil. His hands shook and did all he could to pull himself out of his grip.

⠀⠀⠀"I'm sorry," he whispered, moving away from her. "I'm sorry, it's just... are you okay? They didn't hurt you, did they?"

⠀⠀⠀"No, I-I'm fine," Casey said awkwardly, not really sure what else to say or do. "Is-Is everything okay, John? Did... What happened?"

⠀⠀⠀Murphy shook his head and pulled his legs up to his chest, burying his head into his arms.

⠀⠀⠀"Okay," Casey whispered, leaning against the wall beside him so he knew she was still there.

"WHY WEREN'T THEY IN here?!" Bellamy yelled as he entered the dropship, leaning over Casey as he spat in her face. "He's dangerous!"

⠀⠀⠀Casey looked up at him bored, then glanced back at Clarke and Finn, who had entered behind him. Clarke's brow creased with worry as she approached the pair and knelt down beside Murphy. Connor and Derek entered seconds later with their guns pointed at Murphy.

⠀⠀⠀She looked back up at Bellamy, taking in his red face. "I can handle myself. And if he killed me, they were right outside to keep him from killing anyone else."

⠀⠀⠀Bellamy rolled his eyes at Casey's passive reaction but didn't push her further. Likely, he already knew he wouldn't get anywhere with her. Murphy might have inadvertently pushed Charlotte to suicide, and Casey agreed that it wasn't right, but she wouldn't force him out of camp like this without a fight. Bellamy turned to Derek and raised a brow, waiting for an answer to his unasked question.

⠀⠀⠀"He claims he was with the Grounders," Derek answered.

⠀⠀⠀"We caught him trying to sneak back into camp," Connor followed.

⠀⠀⠀Murphy looked up. He had calmed significantly since Casey had brought up the Grounders. She was a little surprised he was able to not shut down immediately. But he had always been a fighter. With Casey, he had a moment to let his guard down.

⠀⠀⠀"I wasn't sneaking," Murphy said slowly, his words stuttering under the weight of his wounds. "I was running from the Grounders.

⠀⠀⠀"Anyone see Grounders?" Bellamy asked, looking between Connor and Derek, who shook their heads, then back to Casey, who wouldn't even regale him with a glance. Bellamy nodded. "Well, in that case, Casey... leave," he demanded, raising his gun and preparing to shoot.

⠀⠀⠀Casey immediately stood, the barrel of the gun resting on her chest just above her heart. She scowled definitely, waiting for Bellamy to pull the trigger. He only returned her glare, equally scalding.

⠀⠀⠀"Hey!" Finn hissed, rushing forward, panicked. "What the hell is wrong with you?" he snapped at Bellamy.

⠀⠀⠀"We were clear what would happen if he came back," Bellamy claimed. His eyes didn't move from Casey's and she could see he was trying to tell himself she was a necessary cost.

⠀⠀⠀"No, if he was with the Grounders, then he knows things that can help us," Finn retorted. Maybe he should've been their leader or at least Clarke's right hand. He was good at finding the reality of a situation and using it to force others into submission. It also helped that it kept both Casey and Murphy alive.

⠀⠀⠀"Help us?" Bellamy snapped at him, finally turning to look at Finn. "We hanged him, we banished him, and now, we're gonna kill him. Get the hell out of my way."

⠀⠀⠀Bellamy pushed Finn to the side as he repositioned the gun at Casey's chest. Maybe this was how she died. A bullet to the chest: exploding pain, blood loss, cracked bones, and a slow descent to black. She wondered how it would feel knowing that Bellamy had been on the other side of it. Prophetic or betrayed.

⠀⠀⠀"No," Clarke cut into the suffocating tension. "Finn is right."

⠀⠀⠀"Like hell he is! Clarke, think about Charlotte," Bellamy argued.

⠀⠀⠀"I am thinking about her, but what happened to Charlotte was as much our fault as it is his," Clarke said.

⠀⠀⠀The gun moved slightly aside, and Casey pushed it the rest of the way. She sent Bellamy one last look before she turned to Clarke.

⠀⠀⠀"I'm glad you finally think so," Casey muttered. She caught Clarke's glare but didn't give her the satisfaction of recognizing it.

⠀⠀⠀"May I?" Clarke asked Murphy, returning her attention to him.

⠀⠀⠀Murphy was wide-eyed like a two-headed deer in the headlights, but he held his arm out to her, allowing her to examine him.

⠀⠀⠀"He's not lying. His fingernails were torn off. They tortured him," Clarke said after a moment.

⠀⠀⠀Casey's eyes watered, and her finger tapped against her arm as she considered what she had allowed Bellamy to do. She had genuinely believed that Murphy would run out there and die. She had never considered torture.

⠀⠀⠀"You and the Grounders should compare notes," Finn commented towards Bellamy.

⠀⠀⠀"The Grounders know we're at war," Bellamy bit back. He looked down his nose at the sliver he could see past Casey and asked, "What did you tell them about us?"

⠀⠀⠀"Everything."

⠀⠀⠀The room stilled for a moment as they considered the truth behind Murphy's words. Then, Clarke stood and walked back to Bellamy.

⠀⠀⠀"Once he's better, we find out what he knows, and then he's out of here, okay?" she asked, more like told Bellamy.

⠀⠀⠀"What if he refuses to leave? What do we do with him then?" Bellamy asked.

⠀⠀⠀Clarke mulled over the question for a moment before concluding, "Then we kill him."

⠀⠀⠀Bellamy stayed in the dropship as the others left, leaving him and Casey alone with Murphy. He looked at her and said, "If you interfere, we'll have to banish you, too."

⠀⠀⠀Casey stared at him for a minute, then nodded.

⠀⠀⠀"Can I stay with him? Clean his wounds?" she asked softly, hoping the pathetic tone in her voice might make him more willing to not argue.

⠀⠀⠀Bellamy sighed, "Whatever," then left.

━━━━━━ October 8, 2149

OCTAVIA ARRIVED AFTER MIDDAY with lunch and water for Casey and Murphy. They had spent the morning quietly, sometimes talking, sometimes waiting. Murphy slept some, but Casey forced her eyes to stay open. When food arrived, it was another way to keep herself busy.

⠀⠀⠀"Thanks, Octavia," Casey said, trying to hold in a yawn.

⠀⠀⠀"Yeah, thanks," Murphy muttered, scarfing down his food.

⠀⠀⠀"No problem," Octavia assured them with a kind smile. "Water?" she asked, holding out a bowl to Casey. Before she could take it, Octavia flinched and dumped the water all over the front of her shirt.

⠀⠀⠀"What the hell, Octavia!" Casey exclaimed, surprised, as she attempted to pat the water stains off her shirt.

⠀⠀⠀"Casey, what the hell is wrong with your eyes?!" Octavia exclaimed with a tremor in her voice.

⠀⠀⠀Bewildered, Casey turned to Murphy. He stared back at her with wide eyes. She raised her finger to her eyes and pulled back to find blood.

⠀⠀⠀"Octavia! Back off!" Clarke yelled from the entrance as she made a sudden appearance.

⠀⠀⠀Murphy started to throw up all over the floor. He looked like he was throwing up his insides rather than the contents of his stomach. The smell of iron wafted into the room, and the liquid was the color of blood. Casey backed away, startled, not sure what else to do but count under her breath.

⠀⠀⠀"Murphy, hey, look at me," Clarke said, kneeling down next to him. "I need you to tell me exactly how you escaped from the Grounders. What happened?"

⠀⠀⠀"I don't know," Murphy said honestly. "I woke up and they forgot to lock my cage. There was no one there, so I took off."

⠀⠀⠀Clarke took in a heavy breath, then sighed. "They let you go."

⠀⠀⠀Bellamy ran into the dropship next. At the sound of his footfalls, Clarke lifted her hand and exclaimed, "Bellamy, stay back."

⠀⠀⠀Bellamy's shoulders tensed. He looked at Clarke, then Casey, and finally Murphy. A firm line stretched across his mouth as he raised his gun at Murphy again.

⠀⠀⠀"Did he do something to you?" he demanded.

⠀⠀⠀"No," Casey said firmly.

⠀⠀⠀"What the hell is this?" Bellamy asked, taking in the red streaks running down Casey and Clarke's faces.

⠀⠀⠀"Biological warfare," Clarke explained, her words breathless and suddenly tired. She turned to Bellamy and said, "You were waiting for the Grounders to retaliate for the bridge? This is it. Murphy is the weapon."

⠀⠀⠀As Casey turned to her brother, hurt swarmed through her stomach and attacked every defense she had for him. He was being tortured. Perhaps the promise of freedom pushed him to plague them all. But Murphy's eyes downturned as he pleaded with Casey silently that he didn't know. He thought he was saving his skin. He didn't know he was poisoned in the process.

⠀⠀⠀"Is this your revenge? Helping the Grounders kill us?" Bellamy demanded, looking down his nose at Murphy.

⠀⠀⠀Murphy's pleading expression morphed into annoyance as he craned his neck to look at Murphy. "I don't know about this, okay. I swear."

⠀⠀⠀"Stop lying!" Bellamy yelled, moving around Casey to readjust his aim. She followed his movement. Bellamy didn't move around her again but did glare past her at Murphy.

⠀⠀⠀"You think I would get Casey involved in this?" Murphy retorted, his voice sharper.

⠀⠀⠀"When are they coming?" Bellamy asked, ignoring any thought that Murphy was being honest.

⠀⠀⠀"Murphy, think, alright? What can you tell us that's useful? Did you hear anything?" Clarke asked, her tone much calmer than her partner's.

⠀⠀⠀"They are vicious, cruel—"

⠀⠀⠀"You want to see vicious?" Bellamy asked side-stepping Casey again. Casey tried to interrupt his movement, but Clarke caught her arm and pulled her back before she was caught in the crossfire.

⠀⠀⠀"Hey, don't, both of you. Whatever this thing is, it spreads through contact," Clarke scolded.

⠀⠀⠀"Clarke?" Finn called out from the mouth of the dropship, a worried crease in his brow.

⠀⠀⠀"Finn, you shouldn't be in here," Clarke told him and looked pointedly at Bellamy. "No one should."

⠀⠀⠀"I heard you were sick," Finn explained, shrugging off her comment as he looked around at the gruesome scene. "Clarke, what is this?"

⠀⠀⠀"I don't know, some kind of hemorrhagic fever," Clarke hypothesized as she looked around as well. "We just need to contain it before—"

⠀⠀⠀Behind Finn and Bellamy, Derek began to throw up similarly to Murphy. However, this time, it was different, as Derek didn't stop, blood spewing from his mouth as he shook vigorously. Then, suddenly, he stopped. Clarke rushed over to Derek, checking his pulse and snapping at Finn not to touch her.

⠀⠀⠀"Is he—?" Bellamy asked, not wanting to finish his sentence.

⠀⠀⠀"He's dead," Clarke confirmed.

⠀⠀⠀Casey took a deep breath. Her eyes trained on Derek's dead body as her fingers tapped against her wrist. The room turned silent, and it was just her and the dead body. Then Clarke pushed through, her tinny voice scratching at Casey's head. She clawed at her hairline, exhausted and sickly, as her legs gave out, and she sat next to Murphy.

⠀⠀⠀Murphy noticed her cold shakes and took the cloth still clutched in her hand. He set it aside and took a clean one to wipe the blood from under her eyes. He smiled softly, and she watched him, worried that he would fade away.

⠀⠀⠀"There, good as new," he whispered.

⠀⠀⠀Casey nodded, but she did not feel any better.

CASEY HAD NEVER FELT worse in her life. She'd been sick before, but this was something else entirely. Her body ached if she tried to move, her chest hurt just trying to breathe, and her throat and stomach squeezed from the number of times she shocked herself coughing. She wasn't the only one to contract the sickness; a group of them had been quarantined inside the dropship, but she seemed to be doing a lot worse than anyone else.

⠀⠀⠀They moved Murphy into a hammock since he had the worst of the disease, seeing as he had been Patient Zero. He tried to get Casey to take the hammock, but she waved him off. He had been through enough. He deserved a little bit of sleep.

⠀⠀⠀Time moved by in waves, sometimes it felt like everything was rushing by while others it was as if the water moved to its own accord slowly ticking on. Clarke had left at one point and didn't return for hours, maybe days? Casey wasn't sure. Her head was too stuffed with cotton to care. She only returned because Finn and Octavia dragged her inside. Her skin was paler than the moon, and she looked like she was about to trip over her own two feet.

⠀⠀⠀"Here, come on. She can take mine," Murphy called from his hammock. Finn carried Clarke over and laid her down.

⠀⠀⠀Murphy left his spot, the color returning to his cheeks, as he moved across the room to sit beside Casey. He took a clean cloth, soaked it in cool water, and pressed it against Casey's feverish skin. It was so soothing that Casey closed her eyes as she listened to the conversation around her.

⠀⠀⠀"What else did Lincoln tell you?" Finn asked.

⠀⠀⠀"The virus doesn't last long," Octavia said simply.

⠀⠀⠀"Oh, thank God," Casey muttered. Her stomach lurched as she leaned on her side and threw up into the grates of the dropship. When she laid back, Murphy already had a cup of water at her lips. She drank from it greedily before lying back.

⠀⠀⠀"I feel better," Murphy claimed, eyeing Casey warily.

⠀⠀⠀"They need to stay hydrated," Clarke told Finn as she tried to stand from the hammock.

⠀⠀⠀"You need to stay hydrated," Finn retorted, pushing her back while Octavia handed her a cup of water.

⠀⠀⠀Clarke took one small sip before handing it back to Octavia. "Okay, them, too. Please?"

⠀⠀⠀"It's okay. I'll do it. Just rest," Octavia assured her, patting her leg.

⠀⠀⠀Murphy stood and said, "I'll help you." He looked down at Casey and asked, "Is that alright?"

⠀⠀⠀Casey waved her hand, too tired to answer. He squeezed her hand lightly before leaving to help the others. He'd left the cloth on her head that helped cool her down some. She closed her eyes, hoping for sleep to take her, but she already struggled to get to sleep normally. This was no different.

⠀⠀⠀At some point, Bellamy was dragged into the dropship and dropped onto the floor beside her. Casey wasn't sure how long it had been since Murphy left her side, but it was long enough that she felt her bones pop as she turned to look at Bellamy. Octavia pushed him onto his side as he threw up into the grates, his skin beaded with sweat, and he looked worse for wear.

⠀⠀⠀"Hey, big brother," Octavia whispered, placing a wet cloth on his forehead.

⠀⠀⠀Bellamy looked up at his sister. He rested on his back, his brows furrowed, and there was a strange tension around his eyes that was different from anger or determination. His lips parted, and he croaked out, "I'm scared."

⠀⠀⠀Casey couldn't help herself. Her fingers inched out slowly toward him. No matter how complicated her feelings were for Bellamy, she knew what it was like to fear death. Although, she had come to accept her death long before they landed on Earth. Her fingers reached him, her pinky wrapping around his, the farthest she could reach. Then, his hand moved closer to hers, looking for warmth as he held hers tight.

⠀⠀⠀"I won't let anything happen to you, I promise," Octavia assured him, wiping a cloth across his mouth to remove the blood.

⠀⠀⠀"That's what I said to you..." Bellamy mused softly with a smile on his face as he looked up at Octavia. His words were short, and it took him a moment to catch his breath. "...the day you were born."

⠀⠀⠀Octavia chuckled lightly. "I know. You told me that, like, a thousand times."

⠀⠀⠀"I'm glad you're here," Bellamy told her softly, squeezing Casey's hand at the same time. But she didn't think anything of it.

⠀⠀⠀"Just get some rest now, okay?" Octavia told him, setting the cloth back on his forehead.

⠀⠀⠀Octavia left sometime later to help with the other kids. In her daze, Casey had noticed the blood on Bellamy's face beginning to congeal and crack. Her hand itched, necessitating her to clean, as she pulled the cloth from his forehead and tried to remove the sickness and grime.

⠀⠀⠀A hand shot out from nowhere and took the cloth from her hand. She looked up, glancing at Murphy, who gave her a stern look. Then, he handed her a cup of water then Bellamy.

⠀⠀⠀"Here," he said.

⠀⠀⠀"Get the hell away from me," Bellamy spat at Murphy, slapping the cup out of his hands and letting it spill all over the floor.

⠀⠀⠀"Bellamy, you're sick, okay? I'm just trying to help," Murphy said, slightly agitated. He noticed blood coming from Bellamy's nose and quickly picked up the cloth from where Bellamy had thrown it. "Here."

⠀⠀⠀Bellamy stared at him and defiantly wiped his nose along the sleeve of his jacket.

⠀⠀⠀"When I get better, if you're still here—" Bellamy hissed.

⠀⠀⠀Clarke stepped in behind Murphy and said, "Hey, I got this one."

⠀⠀⠀Murphy sighed and nodded as he stood and left them to help elsewhere.

⠀⠀⠀"You feeling better?" Bellamy asked Clarke.

⠀⠀⠀Casey had laid back down and stared at Clarke curiously. Her skin had returned to its normal color, and she didn't seem to be in pain anymore despite contracting the sickness after Casey had. She wished the damn sickness would go away.

⠀⠀⠀"Yeah," Clarke muttered.

⠀⠀⠀Casey's eyes fluttered closed, drifting between awake and dreaming as she listened to them.

⠀⠀⠀"What about her?" Bellamy asked.

⠀⠀⠀"She was with Murphy all night. I don't know, but it may have had an effect on her, or her immune system is shit," Clarke explained softly.

⠀⠀⠀"She hasn't been sleeping either," Bellamy commented off-handedly.

⠀⠀⠀"That could be it, too."

⠀⠀⠀It took Casey a moment to realize they had been talking about her. Strange how people could talk so candidly right in front of her if they thought she was asleep. She would have to try it again sometime.

⠀⠀⠀"You see Octavia?"

⠀⠀⠀"She was up all night helping people. Murphy gave her a break," Clarke explained.

⠀⠀⠀"Don't tell me you trust him now," Bellamy snapped at her.

⠀⠀⠀Casey frowned despite herself.

⠀⠀⠀"Trust? No. I do believe in second chances, though."

⠀⠀⠀"It's almost dawn. Better get everyone inside. If we lock the doors maybe the Grounders will think we're not home."

⠀⠀⠀"Not everyone is sick," Clarke said.

⠀⠀⠀"Sick is better than dead," Bellamy retorted.

⠀⠀⠀"You don't think Finn and Jasper are gonna pull it off?" Clarke asked, but Casey didn't know what they were referring to.

⠀⠀⠀"Do you?"

⠀⠀⠀Clarke paused, then her clothes rustled as she stood, "I'll get everyone inside."

━━━━━━ October 9, 2149

BELLAMY AND CLARKE HAD been discussing a plan to blow up the bridge, the only known way to the dropship camp. Finn and Jasper had been tasked with blowing it up, but Raven had done it instead. A mushroom cloud now loomed threateningly in the sky like a bad omen.

⠀⠀⠀Casey didn't feel much better, only that her muscles were strong enough to keep her upright. She walked out of the dropship to see the mushroom cloud looming in the sky like a bad omen. Bellamy and Clarke's cryptic conversation inside the dropship was now clear as they had planned to take out the Grounder's only access to their camp. Raven had blown up the bridge that they had met Anya on.

⠀⠀⠀"They did it," Bellamy told Clarke as Casey stepped outside behind him.

⠀⠀⠀"I am become death, destroyer of worlds," Clarke quoted, silence falling between them. She glanced at Bellamy, waiting for his response, then continued, "It's Oppenheimer, the man who built the first—"

⠀⠀⠀"I know who Oppenheimer is," Bellamy deadpanned.

⠀⠀⠀"It's originally from a religious scripture, Hinduism, I believe," Casey commented, the two looking back at her.

⠀⠀⠀Bellamy looked her up and down, then frowned and said, "Should you be up? You look like shit."

⠀⠀⠀Casey smirked, amused, and said, "That's the second time you've said that to me, Bell. You really suck at talking to girls."

⠀⠀⠀Bellamy rolled his eyes and turned back to the mushroom cloud, praying that this destruction would lead to peace.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

Oh! Hey, if you don't follow my account her, I posted a TikTok for Casey and Bellamy to Therefore I Am by Billie Eilish. I worked really hard on it and if you wanna check it out my username is peachpick.wp

Who else was watching Oppenheimer and did the DiCaprio point at the screen going "omg this was in The 100!!!" LMAO

Anytime Bellamy threatens Murphy:

Poor Casey, my girl is so blind in her loyalty. You have to love her though, even if she can be a hypocrite... some of the time.

It's really funny to come and edit season 1/2 as I'm writing new chapters for season 4 where Casey and Bellamy don't act so hostile to each other anymore. I feel like I've entered a new dimension.

CHAPTER TIME FRAME: 1x10, I Am Become Death

Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment if you'd like, they keep me motivated! However, this is an all kind of reader safe space. So, even if you ghost read or comment on every chapter, I hope you know it means the world to me that you've come to spend your time in this fic ♡

FIND ME: AO3: peachpick | Tik Tok: peachpick.wp | Pinterest: peachpick

NEXT TIME: The food supply is destroyed and Bellamy joins Casey on the hunt. Afterwards, Casey returns to her tent where someone waits for her.